Page 25

Arielle

Fuck! I practically threw my phone at the wall, biting my knuckles as I paced the transit hotel room in JFK. It was almost five p.m., and no news from Vivian. My flight is scheduled for eight p.m., and I need to be out of here as soon as possible.

My phone beeped, and I almost jumped out of my skin. Relief washed over me as I read the text from Vivian asking me to open the door. I practically threw the door off its hinges and helped her in.

“What’s the problem, Ari? You scared the heavens out of me. Why are you here, and why do you need all of thi—”

The questions died in her throat when her eyes landed on the pregnancy test kits scattered around the table. She looked at me, then at the tests, and back at me. I couldn’t find the voice to explain myself. Red hot flames burned into my face, and I averted my gaze to the floor. I couldn’t take the look of disbelief and horror on her face.

“How did this happen?” she asked, holding up one of the tests. “You’re supposed to be on Depo shots. What happened?”

“I don’t know, Viv,” I whispered, my eyes glued to the floor.

“Is that why you needed your passports and a disguise? I thought you were in danger or something.”

Rage flashed through me, and I pinned her with a glare. “I have a fucking Ivanov growing in my belly. I have the child of a mafia Don, a fucking trafficker, and a wanted criminal I was sent to bring to justice growing in me. How much danger can a person possibly be in?”

“Ari,” she tried to calm me, but the dams were already open, and I might just let out the emotions I’d been bottling inside.

“Father will kill me. You know he will. He’ll force this child out of me, and he’ll discard me like trash. And Mikhail, he’ll be ecstatic to find out we’re having a baby together. He’s been talking about the future and a family nonstop for the past few weeks! How am I supposed to tell him Arielle is not even my name? How am I supposed to tell my child I was sent to destroy his father!” A gut-wrenching cry tore through me, and I crumpled to the floor, letting the sobs take over me.

I was so scared and confused, and I had nowhere to turn. I couldn’t go home to Mikhail, and I certainly couldn’t go back to my father. I would be considered a traitor to both of them. And my child, I clutched my stomach, wailing harder—my baby would be destroyed because of my stupid mistakes.

“It’s okay, Ari, I’m here. We’ll figure it out together. We always do.” Viv settled into the floor with me, pulling me into a hug, and I cried harder.

When my throat became too raw from crying, and my eyes couldn’t produce more tears, I got off the floor, taking one last look at the pregnancy kits.

“My flight is due for eight p.m.,” I croaked out, and Vivian’s eyes widened in shock. She opened her mouth to protest, but I already knew what she was going to say. A sermon about how my decision was rushed, but I wasn’t in the mood for therapy.

“I can’t tell you where I’m going. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I wouldn’t want to put the burden of cleaning up my mess on you.”

“Are you sure there’s no other way?” she asked, her voice breaking at the end.

I knew what she was asking. I’d be a liar if I said I hadn’t considered terminating the pregnancy the moment the first test came out positive, but there was already so much blood on my hands, and I wasn’t going to add my child’s blood to the pile.

I wrapped my arms protectively around my pelvis. “I can’t, Viv. I can’t hurt it.”

She nodded slowly. “I understand. I don’t think I’d be able to do that, especially given the situation we grew up in. But what are you going to do? You’ll have two highly influential and resourceful men looking for you. You’ll practically have to live in hiding. How will you survive? Why don’t we try telling Father. It was obviously a mistake. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

I remained mute at her suggestion, completely avoiding her gaze.

“It was a mistake, right? Arielle?”

An exhausted sign slipped from me, and I quickly checked the time on my phone before turning to her. There was no reason to lie. “It was…not entirely. It’s complicated.”

“Do you love him?” she asked, and I glued my eyes to the floor.

“Damn it, Arielle! You dragged me all the way from Manhattan to Queens. The least you can do is give me some honest explanation.”

“Yes! Okay, I do care about him. I don’t know how it happened or why I didn’t stop it, but it’s what it is. He was the first man to actually see me and treat me like I was human and not a sex toy or a fortified weapon. Mikhail saw me. He loved me, and I might be the biggest hypocrite in the history of the world to fall for the same man that made my skin crawl, but he wasn’t so bad, and he took care of me!” I rushed out in one breath, my chest heaving as Vivian stared wide-eyed.

“He’s not a monster, Viv,” I sobbed, my voice low and weak. “I’m not some foolish, naive girl. He loved me.”

“Is that why you’re keeping his child? To hold on to a part of him?”

“No.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my palms. “This baby is mine, and I’m keeping it because it’s a part of me.”

“That solves it then,” Vivian said, a sad look in her eyes. “Will I ever see you again?”

Her question broke what was left of my heart. In my haste to run from the mess I created, I had completely forgotten about the life I’d be leaving behind. The people I’ll be leaving behind. Viv, Julia, and Maya. I might never see them again.

“We’ll find a way,” I said, forcing a smile on my face. “Father will have to die someday, and Mikhail will eventually move on with one of the girls in the Russian bratva. It’s what is expected of a don anyway.”

A thought suddenly occurred to me, and I rushed to the emergency bag I asked her to pack for me. “Here,” I pulled out a burner phone I kept for emergencies. “It can only place and receive a single phone call. I’ll call you when I’m about to give birt.”

I wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks. We were more than two kids adopted by the same father. We were sisters. We were best friends. We were each other’s lifeline. I didn’t know how I’d cope without her, but the situation couldn’t be helped. The chances were too risky to be taken.

“What are we going to do about Father? If he finds out you’re missing, he’ll come for me,” Vivian said, and an idea immediately came to me.

I glanced at my watch again, making sure we had enough time. “So, I’m going to tie you up and abandon you for the cleaners to find.”

Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets at my words, but I continued. “My calls to you held no details, so even if he checks your phone, he’ll figure out you didn’t know what you were walking into. Then I’ll make an insane withdrawal from your account and mine to convince him I tricked you into coming here so I could rob you and disappear.”

Vivian’s brows knitted in worry. “What if he asks for your motive? What would I say?”

“Anything. Tell him the project became too much for me. Tell him I wanted freedom. Tell him I fell in love with some guy. Honestly, he’d believe anything you say. He knows how much I’ve wanted out of the agency. Mikhail was supposed to be my last mission. He already pointed out I was already slacking in reports. Tell him it’s because I was planning my escape. You can add that I stole from Mikhail too, and you’ll need protection because I promise you Mikhail will come for you.”

She nodded slowly. I didn’t think a broken heart could break again, but watching Vivian tore me apart in ways I never imagined.

“I love you, Viv, I always will, and when my baby is born, if it’s a girl, I’ll name her Vivian, and I’ll tell her about her wonderful aunt, who is the best human in the world.”

She let out a dry chuckle. “And if it’s a boy?”

“I’ll still tell him about Aunt Vivian.

“Alright. Chop, chop,” she said, wiping her tears and getting off the floor. “We need to get you disguised and ready for your flight. Time is racing towards us.

We quickly packed my bags and piled up my hair, hiding it beneath auburn curls. I made sure all the documents I needed were with me before proceeding to make my withdrawals. I would need enough cash to get me a place and keep my head down till I could find something worth doing.

“This is it,” Vivian sniffed, staring at my stacked box.

I pulled her into a quick hug and held her for a moment before swiftly ripping her shirt. She shrieked in surprise but relaxed when she realized what I was doing.

I turned the room upside down, making sure everywhere looked like a proper struggle happened before I pulled out a belt and tied her to the bed frame.

I took one last look at her, tears welling up in my eyes, before giving her a quick hug and rushing to the check-in.

*****

I could feel myself slowly relax as the plane took off. My panic slowly gave way to fear and uncertainty as the aerial view of New York grew increasingly smaller. Everything seemed so bleak. I rested my head on the backrest of the seat, sucking in a deep breath as the events of the past few days finally caught up with me.

The morning sickness I mistook for flu, the spotting I mistook for my period, Maya commenting on how dull my skin looked at breakfast, and finally, the notification from my health app about my missed contraception and absent period. There was the race to the pharmacy to purchase the tests, the speed with which I parked my essentials and fled the house.

My throat tightened, and I could feel tears burning at the corner of my eyes as the memories washed over me. The chaotic scenarios finally merged into dark eyes, a sharp jawline, and a playful smirk.

The pain in my heart felt so real I had to rub my chest in an attempt to soothe it. I bit my lips hard to hold back the sob clawing at the walls of my throat and begging to be let out. The tears finally made their way past my shut lids, and I sat there, nursing the greatest pain of my life, while the couple in the cubicle next to mine chatted about their vacation plans.

The last weeks with Mikhail were easily the best days of my life. As much as I hated him for what he was, I couldn’t deny how happy he made me, how much he loved me, or how much I loved him. And worse, I couldn’t deny how much he would’ve loved our child. He would’ve made a wonderful father, but I guess our story was set in stone, and happily ever after was never in the cards for us.

There was Father. No matter how hard he became over the years, he remained the man who saved my life. He gave me the life I had, and I had betrayed him.

I had betrayed the only important men in my life, and I wasn’t even brave enough to own up to my actions. I tucked my tail between my legs and ran for my life like a coward, but if a coward is what I need to be to protect my child, then a coward is exactly what I would be.