Page 11 of Ruthless Desires, Vol. One (Ruthless Desires Series Extended Editions #1)

Wren

January

“Ugh, I’m so jealous,” Rachel says before taking a sip of her root beer. “I’d give anything to go to a ball like that. Get all dressed up, pretend to be a princess for a week…” She sighs wistfully. “It’d be so fun.”

“It sounds pretty romantic,” Chloe chimes in, but there isn’t any meaning in her voice. If anything, she sounds a little… guilty.

I force a smile. “I’m pretty excited.”

Normally, I can have a good time when we all get together. A Thursday night at the arcade eating cheap pizza is pretty normal for us and the guys, but over the past couple months, things have felt off between me, Chloe, and Rachel.

For whatever reason, Rachel gets super excited whenever she sees me. It’d be sweet except we never talk unless we’re hanging out together with everyone else. It feels… weirdly artificial. Chloe, on the other hand, has gotten quieter. More distant.

It has me on edge and wondering if there’s something wrong with me. The two of them seem pretty close, and I’ve never quite felt like I fit with them. At first, I thought it was my own insecurities and anxieties getting in the way. But now? I’m beginning to wonder if I was right all along.

“So… Adam is taking you?” Rachel asks.

“Y-yeah. I mean, it was my idea, and I paid for the tickets with my tip money, but we’re going together.”

She reaches over and squeezes my arm. “That’s so sweet. You’re lucky to have a guy like him. I’m so happy for you.”

My unease grows. “Thanks.”

I sip my soda while Chloe steers the conversation in another direction. While her and Rachel talk, I glance around the arcade. We played a couple games, and then they got bored and wanted to chat, so we’re sitting in a booth while the guys keep playing.

“Hey, Wren, you like to read, right?” Rachel asks. “Chloe recently got into it again, and I was thinking about doing the same thing.”

“Oh! That’s cool. What are you—”

“Oh my god, we should start a book club!” Rachel exclaims.

“That could be fun. I have some books I think you guys would probably like,” I say. “I mean, as long as you’re both into fantasy?”

“I am,” Chloe says. “Or, at least I used to be when I was in high school. Can’t imagine why I wouldn’t be now.”

“Oh, which ones did you read? I wonder if I know any of them.” After she rattles off a few titles, and I grin. “Those were some of my favorites.”

“Wait, really?” She leans forward, her eyes lighting up. “I got in trouble for how late I stayed up reading them!”

I laugh. “Same here. My mom threatened to take away all my books.”

Rachel says something about going to the restroom, and then she slides out of the booth and disappears down a hallway.

Chloe watches her go, discomfort settling over her features. She squirms in her seat before refocusing on me. “So, um, anyway. Have you found any similar books to those? I just miss the vibe, you know?”

“Oh, god, yeah. I have an entire list. Here, I’ll text some titles to you.” I grab my phone, but seeing a picture of me and Adam on my lockscreen sets something off in the back of my mind. That feeling of unease only intensifies when I glance around the arcade and only see Chad and Rachel’s boyfriend. “Hey, did you see where Adam went?”

“Um.” Chloe gulps down the rest of her drink. When she sets her cup down, it looks like she’s gonna be sick.

“Chloe? Are you all right?”

“I can’t keep quiet any longer,” she blurts. Her eyes fill with a mix of pity and guilt. “I’m so sorry, Wren.”

Dread sits heavy in my stomach, and I clench my fists under the table. “What?”

But I already know. I think I’ve known for a while now. Just couldn’t admit it to myself.

“Rachel… Rachel and Adam are…” Chloe’s gaze falls to the table. “I was supposed to distract you by talking about books.”

It’s like her words knock the breath out of me. I was right. Rachel has been acting weird, and so has Chloe. And Adam… I wish I was wrong about him, but I can’t deny it anymore.

“They’re probably making out in the maintenance closet right now,” Chloe mumbles, still avoiding my gaze. “It’s never locked.”

Wordlessly, I stand and make my way toward the back of the building. I feel like I’m moving through a dream, all the lights around me blurring and my thoughts turning fuzzy. An ache blooms in my chest, one that’s been there for months, just beneath the surface.

Now, nothing can stop it.

With a deep breath, I push open the door to the closet, and there are Adam and Rachel—doing a lot more than just making out.

“Shit! Wren, what’re you doing back here?” Adam pulls out of Rachel, stepping away and leaving her on the table she’s propped up on.

At least he’s wearing a condom.

Tears fill my eyes. Not of heartbreak, but of shame. For going along with this—for lying to myself. For wasting god knows how many months on someone who was never going to be as committed to me as I was to him.

“I can explain,” Adam says, hurriedly yanking the condom off and pulling his pants up. “Just give me a second.”

But I’m already backing away.

“Wren—”

“Just let her go, Adam,” Rachel says, grabbing onto his arm and gripping tightly. “Maybe it’s better this way.”

My lungs feel like they’re on fire. I want to scream and cry and ask why and beg Adam to be better.

But I don’t.

I just turn around and start the long, lonely walk home in the cold.

***

“Are you okay?” Ava asks me as she unlocks the front door to the coffee shop in the morning.

I texted her some of the details last night, but we didn’t talk too much since I had to deal with Adam so much. He came home drunk and tried everything to get me to let him stay—begging, yelling, crying, throwing things. None of it worked, though. Not even him telling me I’d come crawling back to him within a week.

He ended up staying with Chad last night, which I’m sure pissed him off.

Stepping into the shop, I bite my lip. I probably shouldn’t be okay. My heart should be shattered into pieces, and I shouldn’t’ve been able to get out of bed this morning. But instead all I feel is… numb.

“I think so,” I tell Ava eventually. We throw our stuff in the back and fall into our usual opening routine.

To be honest, I’ve been bracing myself for something like this for months. Ever since that night Adam stormed out on me, I’ve had my suspicions. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.

“He’s a piece of shit,” Ava says.

“No doubt about it.” I let out an exasperated breath. “And the fact that he thought he could get away with it with me in the next room? He’s a fucking idiot.”

Okay, maybe I’m not completely numb. Just thinking about Adam sends fire burning through my veins.

“We could slash his tires,” Ava suggests.

“I don’t want to do anything to him. I just… never want to see him again.”

“Well, hopefully you won’t have to. He’s gonna have all his stuff moved out by today, right?”

“Yeah.” I wince as I realize he still has an apartment key. I doubt he’ll give it up willingly—and that’s if I remember to ask him for it when I get off my shift.

I should write myself a reminder. I reach for my pen. Just gotta find some paper to—

“Hey, have you seen my name tag around?” Ava asks.

“Hmm?” I do a quick sweep of the front. “No, but I’ll help you look.”

Sticking my pen back in my apron, I help Ava scour the place for her name tag. We find it in her coat pocket after a few minutes. While she pins it onto her apron, she gives me a thoughtful look.

“I wish the asshat hadn’t cheated on you, but I’m glad you’re rid of him. You deserve better.”

With a shrug, I turn away. “Obviously, I don’t,” I mutter, quiet enough that Ava can’t hear.

Or so I think.

“Excuse me?”

Shit.

Wincing, I turn again to face her. “I didn’t mean—”

“Oh, I know exactly what you meant.” She sets down the tray of sweets that she was about to load into the display case and crosses her arms. “Wren Taylor, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, he didn’t want me,” I say, and I hate it, but my voice breaks.

“And who said he’s the standard?” Ava is in front of me in a flash, pulling me into a firm hug. “Who cares about what Adam does or doesn’t want? There are better men out there, Wren, and they’d love to be with someone like you.”

Blinking back tears, I whisper, “I just feel so stupid.”

“Don’t.” She squeezes me. “You two had a life full of plans together. It’s okay that you weren’t ready to let go.”

“I don’t… I don’t know if I can do this.” I fan at my face, trying to dry my unshed tears before they ruin my mascara. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”

“You’re allowed to take as much time as you need. And when you’re ready, I think you’ll have people lining up to get their chance to be with you.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

“Listen, all I’m saying is you have at least three men who’d instantly fall to their knees and beg for a chance to be with you. You need to heal, sure, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do so while getting with book boy and his friends.”

I freeze, almost dropping the sleeve of cups in my hand. “What’re you talking about?”

Ava gives me a you-can’t-be-serious look. “Wren. You’ve been flirting with them every week for months.”

“I—well, I mean, I don’t think—it’s not really—no, I haven’t!”

“Wren.”

“They’re fun to talk to, and god they’re all so hot, but there isn’t anything there. They’re way out of my league, and you know it. I know it. They know it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just look at them! They’re obviously super rich. Probably got fancy corporate jobs in finance or something. I’m not from their world.” I shake my head and grab a sleeve of medium cups. “And you can’t convince me that they’re single.”

A smile plays over her lips. “I still think they’re the ones who put that extra money in the tip jar around Christmas.”

“Even if they did, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s worth a shot,” she says in a sing-song voice.

“The shot isn’t there, Ava.” I push the cups into their dispenser. “They flirt with me on Fridays because I’m the pretty woman at the register. If it was Thursdays and I was the one on drive-thru duty, they’d be flirting with you.”

She frowns, her nose wrinkling. “Not for long. I wouldn’t play along.” Then she gestures to her apron—or, more specifically, to the pins on it. “And, uh, hello?”

I smile, my gaze dropping to the lesbian pride flag pin. “Fair enough. But my point still stands. If another pretty woman who they thought would be attracted to them was manning the register, they’d flirt with her, too.”

Ava raises an eyebrow at the hint of disappointment in my tone. “Jealous of this imaginary woman, are you?”

Heat creeps through my body. I can’t deny I’m attracted to Elliot, Oliver, and yes, even Rhett. I’ve gotten over my initial worry that he hates me. How could I not after what he did to that guy who threw his drink at me?

“I knew it!” Ava exclaims.

“You’re never gonna let this go, are you?”

“Not until you give yourself a chance to be happy.” But then she schools her grin, her expression turning more serious. “Whenever you’re ready, that is.”

I bite the inside of my cheek. Truly, I don’t know when that’ll be. Finding someone who I’d be willing to trust with my heart again… it feels so impossible. And I can say with confidence that the only men I’d be open to giving a chance to aren’t seriously interested in me that way.

“We’ll see,” I say.

“Just promise me you won’t let what he did rule over you.”

“Ava…”

“Promise me.”

Everything feels so uncertain now—my love life, my future. But Ava is right. Single or not, I still have a life to live. Over time, the shame will fade. Maybe I’ll find love again, maybe not. But I won’t let Adam take my happiness away from me.

With a nod, I squeeze Ava’s hand. “I promise.”