Page 31

Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

We got the pie to go.

Brooke didn’t want to go back to the room on her own, and I couldn’t blame her for that. She came with me to the lobby building and sat outside on the porch in one of the rocking chairs, her takeout pie in a box on her lap.

The woman who had checked me in last night wasn’t there. Instead an older man with thick hair graying at the temples, wearing a neatly buttoned plaid shirt, was poring over a huge map.

He seemed pleased that we were staying another night, and was effusive in his offer of finding a hiking trail for us to follow if we wanted to get out into the wilderness.

I managed to hold back his enthusiasm with an almost-lie about Brooke recovering from being sick, and his expression changed to sympathy.

‘Let us know if you need anything. There’s a drugstore only ten minutes away, and we can get them to deliver.’

‘That’s really nice of you. I think she just needs to rest up.’

‘All right. Well, you know where we are.’

I thanked him again and went back outside to find Brooke.

‘There’s hiking trails here, you know,’ I said, taking the rocking chair next to hers. ‘Or we can rent bikes.’

‘Jesus, save me.’

That made me laugh. ‘Well, we can stay here until noon tomorrow, so there’s plenty of time for you to change your mind.’

‘I think I’m good, but if I have a sudden and dramatic change of personality, you’ll be the first to know.’

Brooke didn’t seem to be in any rush to leave the rocking chairs, and it really was very peaceful out here, so I settled in.

‘Did the past forty-eight hours actually happen?’ Brooke murmured, staring out at the trees.

I had been trying to figure that out for myself. ‘I think so.’

‘I was kidnapped.’

‘Yeah,’ I said softly. ‘And then I got you back.’

‘Holy shit.’

‘If you want to go to the police, we can still do that,’ I said.

I’d been wary of mentioning the cops up until now, since we’d been doing everything possible to avoid them.

But I also didn’t want to push it. I knew you couldn’t force someone to talk about their trauma if they weren’t ready for it.

I let the easy silence be an invitation for Brooke to talk, if she wanted to, or not.

She looked over at me. ‘I don’t remember much,’ she said again, and I wondered if this was how she was protecting herself – by not thinking about it.

‘Do you want to remember?’ I asked, gently pressing to see if she’d open up.

‘No.’ She settled back again. ‘I do want to know how you found me, though.’

I could tell that story.

Recounting it all reminded me that I needed to text Megan and let her know I’d found Brooke, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket long enough to type out a quick message and send it.

Megan didn’t need to know the gory details.

Within a few minutes, she texted me back: Thank God! ! Good luck, Jenna & Juliet xoxo

I replied with a Thank you for everything and decided to leave it there.

‘I can’t believe you did all that,’ Brooke said, shaking her head. ‘Well, I can, but …’

‘Don’t worry – I can’t really believe it either.’

She reached out between the rocking chairs and took my hand, squeezing it gently, then twisted her palm so she could link our fingers together for the second time that day.

‘Thank you,’ she said softly. ‘That doesn’t sound like enough. But I don’t know what else to say.’

‘I did what I had to do,’ I replied. I couldn’t accept the weight of her gratitude when she’d done so much for me since we’d left Seattle. Maybe now we were almost even.

‘What do you think will happen to Chris?’ Brooke asked, letting go of my hand.

‘Well, he’s definitely going to have to go to the hospital to get his hand fixed. Hopefully while he’s there, they’ll run his details and the FBI can come in and stick him in a hole of a jail in the middle of nowhere.’

‘That’s a nice thought,’ Brooke murmured. ‘Would you really have shot him in the face?’

I’d forgotten that particular threat.

‘I’m glad I didn’t have to,’ I said, which wasn’t really an answer.

I’d seen enough gore and death in the past couple of weeks, I didn’t need to witness any more.

And God knows what kind of trauma flashback that would have triggered.

‘It would’ve made things much more complicated, so it’s better that I didn’t. ’

‘I’m sad you didn’t.’

I snorted, then turned to look at her again. ‘Are you okay, Brooke?’

She seemed to recognize that I didn’t mean in the immediate, physical way.

‘I’m scared,’ she murmured, and my heart clenched.

‘Of them coming back?’

‘Yeah. I know they’re probably in a hospital somewhere right now getting Chris’s hand un-stabbed, but they could still follow us.’

I was glad Brooke had been the first one to say it out loud. The thought of being followed by them again was a persistent, nagging voice in my head. ‘Do you want to check the car?’

She slumped a little. ‘Yes. I know there’s probably nothing there, but …’

‘You’ll feel better if you check,’ I finished for her. ‘We can do that.’

I borrowed a flashlight from the guy at the front desk so Brooke could check for another tracker and watched as she almost pulled the car to pieces, surveying every last inch of it before emerging, dirty and sweaty.

She tossed the flashlight in the air and caught it, flicking the light off neatly.

‘There’s nothing on it, Jessie.’

‘Good.’ I took her hand and squeezed it. ‘Let’s go out. Look around a bit.’

‘Ugh. I need to change first. I’m filthy.’

I didn’t want to go on a hike – we weren’t going to venture out onto one of the trails – but I liked the idea of wandering around the motel and the diner. I’d seen signs for a stables that offered horseback treks, and I wanted to go see the horses.

At noon it was hot outside. While I was waiting for Brooke to clean herself up, I swapped my jeans for shorts. I didn’t want to get sweatier than was strictly necessary. We detoured to the front desk to return the flashlight, then headed out around the back of the parking lot.

‘Okay, it is nice out here,’ Brooke said as we stepped onto one of the wide dirt paths.

‘I told you,’ I said mildly.

We walked for a few minutes in silence, following the path to the edge of the trees, then around another block of motel rooms.

‘You know I said before about my parents deciding on where I’m going to college?’ Brooke asked.

‘Yeah?’

She didn’t say anything for a long time, but I didn’t want to push.

‘I’m not going to fucking college,’ she said eventually. ‘I’ll fail the entrance exams on purpose.’

‘You don’t want to go at all?’ I asked gently.

She sighed heavily and stretched her arms over her head, exposing her flat belly.

Her shirt lifted up, too, far enough that I could see the outline of the gun in her back pocket.

I hesitated, not knowing if I wanted to call her out on it.

I had no idea if Illinois had open carry laws, but I’d watched her take the bullet out of it last night, so I knew it was safe.

I decided that if it made her feel better, I could handle it.

We fell back into step alongside each other.

‘No. So you know I worked on the car with Tony, my uncle?’ I nodded, remembering.

‘We put together a business plan. I want to go to trade school, learn how to fix up cars for real. Tony says I’ve got a talent for it, and, honestly …

it’s the only thing I’ve ever done that’s felt right. Do you know what I mean?’

‘Not really.’ I looked over at Brooke. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that about anything.’

‘I hadn’t either. I was just prepared to go along with whatever my parents wanted because it made life easier.’

‘Have you always done that?’

Brooke shook her head. ‘You don’t understand.’

‘So tell me,’ I insisted.

She sighed and pushed her hands through her hair. ‘My parents mapped out my life before I was even born. They picked all my friends from when I was in kindergarten. If I met someone who wasn’t the “right” kind of person, I wasn’t allowed to be friends with them.’

I knew some parents were controlling, but it was so far from my own experience that it seemed totally alien. I squeezed her hand, encouraging her to go on.

‘My parents would do, like, a background search on anyone I got close to. A few times, when I was younger, I refused to give up my friends.’ She gave me a sad smile.

‘That didn’t make any difference. They cut those friends out for me.

I wasn’t allowed to go to their houses, they weren’t allowed to come to mine, I couldn’t be anywhere those friends were going to be. It was bullshit. It still is.’

‘So you just went along with it?’ I couldn’t imagine Brooke being willing to let go of anything that easily.

‘In the end, yeah.’

I wasn’t expecting her to be so honest.

We turned another corner and I spotted a sign for the stables, telling me we were on the right track.

‘It was easier,’ she murmured, ‘to do what they said, rather than fight them on it. It wasn’t like I had much time, anyway.

I had extracurricular activities most days, and when I wasn’t doing something at school, I had a tutor at home.

On weekends they got me involved with dance and gymnastics, so I was always at presentations or performances or meets, and then when I said I wanted to join the cheerleading team to, you know, put all those skills to use, they said no.

It wasn’t the right kind of extracurricular activity.

’ She sighed loudly. ‘I don’t know if you know what it’s like, Jessie, to have every last minute of your life programmed. ’

‘No, not really. My mom doesn’t care about me. Not like that.’