Page 29

Bat Out of Hell – Meat Loaf

I drove on autopilot to the only place I knew how to get to in goddamn St. Louis, which was the Walmart down the road from the motel.

Realistically, I should’ve been trying to get farther away – far, far away – but I was shaking and Brooke was too, and I just needed to stop for a second and make sure she was okay before we kept going.

I pulled into a space near the back of the parking lot, and as soon as I killed the engine, Brooke was hauling herself out of the car.

‘Brooke!’

I scrambled after her before I realized she wasn’t running away – she was just pacing back and forth. I held up both my hands, approaching her cautiously.

‘Brooke?’ I asked again.

‘Oh my God,’ she said, her voice and her whole body trembling. ‘Oh my God, Jessie.’

I held my arms out, and she threw herself into them. I wrapped her up tight and squeezed, wanting her to know she was safe now. Brooke clawed at my back, then her hands stilled, pressed hard against my shirt.

‘You’re okay,’ I said, soothing and soft.

For a moment, for a second , I got to be the one to hold her, to be the one who said everything was going to be all right, and that meant everything. All I’d wanted was to get her back, and now she was here, with me, and my body was too small to hold all the emotion threatening to spill out of me.

She pulled back a little, enough that I could see that the usual dark-brown circle of her irises had completely disappeared and her pupils were blown wide.

She had definitely been drugged. And, to be honest, she didn’t smell great.

Her hair was a little greasy, and I guessed she’d been living and sleeping in the same set of clothes.

‘Oh my God,’ she whispered again.

Her hands came up to gently cup my jaw, and then … she kissed me.

Suddenly, I knew what all those romance novels meant when they talked about fireworks, about electricity, like a million buzzing emotions that I’d never experienced before.

I closed my eyes instinctively and leaned up and into the kiss, chasing the wild feeling that had erupted in my stomach. Our noses brushed together, and Brooke made a tiny noise as our lips caught and moved.

At first, I was too shocked, too scared to do much about it, then I rose up on my toes to meet her lips fully, and my fingers curled around her arms just above her elbows. She was shaking a little, probably because of the escape, and I was too, for more than one reason.

My whole world narrowed down to the two of us, and as long as Brooke was kissing me, nothing else mattered.

So my first kiss was with a girl I really liked, who was high as a freaking kite, in the parking lot of a Walmart in Missouri.

Just what every girl dreams of.

‘Come on,’ I said, taking Brooke’s hand and tugging it to make her move. All I wanted was to stay right here and keep kissing her, but it wasn’t safe. ‘We have to get out of here.’

‘I can drive,’ she said.

‘No, you can’t.’ I laughed. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘It’s my car.’

I thought it was probably a good thing that Brooke was feeling so possessive over her damn car, rather than freaking out about everything that had happened.

‘You can drive tomorrow,’ I promised.

‘Fine,’ she said with a sigh.

She gave in way too easily, reminding me that she was still out of it.

When she was buckled into the passenger seat, I tipped it back so she could rest, and drove south out of the city.

I should have been tired, after sleeping so terribly the night before, but I was hyped up on adrenaline and Brooke’s kiss and I felt like I could drive straight through to Orlando that night without stopping.

That wasn’t what Brooke needed, though – she needed a decent bed and somewhere safe to sleep.

There was so much we had to talk about, but all that could wait until morning.

I drove for an hour and a half to get out of Illinois, getting off the highway as soon as I could and taking back roads instead. Even though it was the middle of the night, I could tell it was a beautiful area, the thick trees close to the road on either side providing a canopy of green.

When I spotted the signs for a hiking and hunting lodge, I followed them, and fifteen minutes later I pulled into a clearing in front of a low, wood-sided building with a wide front porch that held a handful of rocking chairs.

It felt cooler out here than it had been in the city.

Deep in my gut, I knew this was where we needed to be tonight.

Way, way out of the city. In the type of place we hadn’t been before. A total change in our routine.

Brooke stirred when I killed the engine. ‘Where are we?’

‘The middle of nowhere. Do you want to stay here while I check in?’

She nodded.

‘Don’t go back to sleep,’ I told her.

‘Okay,’ she mumbled blearily.

There was a light on over the porch, and through a large window at the front of the building I could see a woman behind the counter wearing a plaid shirt and jeans.

The room seemed to serve as a center of operations, with maps and guides stuck to the bare pine walls, and a few deep leather armchairs and coffee tables for making plans.

‘Hey,’ she said as I pushed open the door, and she set down her book. ‘Can I help?’

‘Hi. I was hoping you had a room for tonight.’

‘I’m sure we can find you something.’

Her accent was thick and welcoming, and I immediately felt like I’d made the right decision. We were safe out here.

She flicked through a large planner and made a note in one of the columns.

‘Twin or king?’

I hesitated for just a second. ‘King,’ I said, knowing we’d both sleep better if we were close tonight.

‘No problem. It’ll be ninety dollars for the night, including tax.’

I counted out cash from my wallet and handed it over while she went to the wall and pulled down a key attached to a heavy wooden tag.

‘You’re in one-oh-six, which is right behind us here,’ she said. ‘You can leave the car where it is, or drive it around – there are parking spaces outside your block.’

‘Thank you.’

‘If you need anything, there will be someone at the desk all night. I’m here until midnight, then my son takes over until seven. Breakfast isn’t included, but there’s a diner right next door that opens at six.’

‘Sounds great. Thanks again.’

She nodded. ‘Sleep well.’

When I left the front desk, Brooke was waiting for me on the porch, leaning against one of the railings.

‘Come on,’ I told her, gently rubbing her arm as we walked back to the car.

I decided to drive around to our room, to get the car out of sight, just in case someone happened to come across us.

The motel was made up of maybe ten buildings. All of them were made of wood, thick planks and shiny wooden railings that glinted in the moonlight. Our room was on the first floor, and I gathered Brooke up to take her in before going back for the bags.

‘This is nice,’ she said as I unlocked the door and nudged her inside.

I agreed. The rustic theme continued in here, with a huge king bed on a wooden frame, paintings of the local landscape on the walls, and heavy plaid fabric curtains to block out the light.

‘Do you want a shower?’ I asked, hoping she wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

‘Yes,’ Brooke said emphatically.

‘Okay. I’m going to go get our stuff.’

She nodded and wandered into the bathroom.

I couldn’t get all the bags in fewer than two trips, but I managed to haul everything inside while Brooke was still in the shower, and then I locked and bolted the door behind myself.

Being out here made me feel safe enough that I finally relaxed.

I wasn’t ready to process what we’d been through in the past few hours yet.

I was pretty sure that would lead to a very inelegant breakdown, and I was too tired for that right now.

I had to be strong for Brooke, to be what she needed me to be, instead of losing my shit and her having to take care of me.

I grabbed Brooke’s toiletries bag out of her backpack and knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

‘Brooke? I’ve got your toothbrush and stuff.’

‘Thanks,’ she called back, and I left it on the vanity for her.

I hoped the shower would help shake her out of whatever she’d been drugged with, but realistically it would probably take until morning until she felt better. After another minute, the water shut off and I heard her brushing her teeth.

She came out wrapped in a huge, fluffy white towel, and I quickly grabbed my own stuff to go get changed.

I couldn’t let myself think about Brooke kissing me. She was clearly both deeply traumatized and drugged to the gills, and I didn’t want to take advantage.

When I finished in the bathroom, Brooke was in her pajamas, braiding her long hair.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked tentatively.

‘I’m so tired, Mouse,’ she said, her voice slurring, and I couldn’t be mad at her for using my old nickname.

I ushered her into bed and shut off all the lights except the two lamps on the nightstands. Brooke took the side farthest from the door, and I let her, guessing that’s where she needed to be to feel safe. She curled up in a ball facing away from me.

I got into bed next to her, letting the cool cotton sheets slide over my bare legs. I flipped the switch next to the bed and the room fell into darkness.

For a few moments, she breathed deeply, then she started to shake.

‘Hey,’ I murmured. ‘It’s okay.’

It was as though once Brooke had started shaking, she couldn’t stop. I decided to reach over to turn on the lights again so I could see her, and when I turned back, she was facing me and there were silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

I gently tugged on her hands until she swung her legs around to sit on the edge of the bed next to me.

‘Take a deep breath,’ I said, knowing from experience that sitting up like this, instead of hunched over, was a better way to get a panic attack under control.

Brooke shook her head, her eyes still panicky and her shoulders trembling.

‘You can do it. I know you can. Come on, deep breath.’