Page 56 of Ruinous Need

CHAPTER 21

VIKTOR

I WAKE IN the night to a cry.

It’s not intruders. It’s so much worse.

Lisette is curled in on herself, her hands fisted with pain, those whirlpool eyes screwed shut.

I did this.I should have done more aftercare.

However much she hated me before, it will be worse now. I’ve broken her with my twisted need to claim her, and now she’s paying the price.

Lisette doesn’t react to the light being switched on and it scares me. She’s lying still. Too still.

I shake her shoulder, and she winces as she opens her eyes. I recognize the look of shock and bewilderment. She was in pain-induced sleep, the kind brought on when the body simply gives up.

Her mouth drops open in a moan. Not the kind of moan I want to hear.

“Viktor,” she says weakly.

To my shock, she’s not looking at me like I’m a monster. No, she’s looking at me like she’s glad to see me. Her lips curl into a weak smile. “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

I cup her cheek with my palm. “I’m here.”

She grasps at my hand as though it’s the only thing anchoring her to the earth.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s wrong. I thought it was me, that I’d pushed her too far.

“I thought…” I begin, looking down at her petite form on top of the covers.

She places a hand on my jaw, stroking her palm over my stubble.

“What did you think?”

“That I’d broken you. That I’d gone too far.”

She shakes her head. “It’s not that.”

“Then what’s wrong?” I pull her into my lap and she wraps her arms around my neck. I stroke her back with my fingertips.

“Endometriosis.” Her voice is weak.

I look at her blankly.

“I have this…” She pauses, gripping the sheets, and her face goes white. “A chronic condition that causes intense pain. Usually when I get my period. Other times as well. Sometimes, after I have sex, it gets worse.” Her voices breaks off and her face contorts as another wave of pain goes through her.

I can feel her body tense in my arms. Her hands tighten on my shoulders. I don’t know whether to hold her close or put her down.

This is… Because of me. At least in part. I’ve hurt Lisette, and I hate myself for it.

“What can I do?” I ask urgently.

“Just hold me for a while. Sometimes, when the pain is like this… It’s like it pushes me out of my body. If I have someone to hold me, that helps.”

That I can do. I lie back against the headboard with Lisette curled in my lap.

Even in this state, her hair sweaty, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glassy with tears, Lisette is beautiful. I run my hand through her silky hair, hoping that the repetitive motion is soothing. Anything to remind her that she’s here and she’s safe.