Page 27

Victoria

M oreland was going to take my maidenhead. It was still late afternoon, but I’d learned from Mirabelle that men and women didn’t need to wait until nightfall to share a bed. I was very glad for that knowledge because I didn’t want to wait a minute longer.

Lily helped me into a demure nightgown. She tried to convince me to wear one of the more risqué garments Madame Argent had sent, but I wasn’t ready for that. Perhaps, in time, I would have the confidence to wear them, but not tonight.

When she left, I turned toward the bed and waited for a hint of uncertainty or fear. Instead of doubt, all I felt was anticipation. Last night, after Moreland left, I’d dreamed that he had stayed with me and pleasured me all night.

I wanted to touch him, something he’d denied me. Smiling, I slipped under the covers. Moreland would be here soon enough, and this time, he wouldn’t stop.

The only other man who’d ever touched me intimately was the physician father had employed to check on the state of my maidenhead.

I had despised the man’s cold, perfunctory touch.

Lily had overseen the interaction, and I’d felt nothing but shame throughout the entire ordeal.

But last night, when Moreland had touched me, the feelings he’d wrung from my body had been unexpected. I was eager to experience it again.

Several minutes passed, and I began to wonder if he’d changed his mind.

Or worse. Perhaps Father’s men had followed the carriage and were demanding entry.

A moment of panic speared through me, but I pushed it away.

Lily would have returned if that was happening.

She’d saved me once before, and I knew she was committed to keeping me safe.

And hot on her heels would be Moreland. He wouldn’t allow my father to take me.

I covered my face with my hands as embarrassment filled me.

I’d behaved foolishly today. Mirabelle had even hinted about her motives in the carriage.

Now that our outing had been revealed in a new light, I recognized the strange emotion I’d seen cross her face—guilt.

She wasn’t the hard-hearted woman Moreland thought her, but she was solely responsible for her own safety.

I could only pity her. After this whole thing was over, I would still be able to count on my brother to keep me safe.

Mirabelle could only ever rely on herself.

A soft knock sounded at the door, and I took a steadying breath before bidding the person to enter. When the door swung open, Moreland stood at the threshold, staring at me.

His gaze took in my position on the bed. After staring at me, he walked into the room and placed a case on my dressing table. I hadn’t seen it before and didn’t know what was inside. Whatever it was, he left it there, then turned to lock my bedchamber door.

He turned to look at me again, one corner of his mouth tilting upward.

That smile at once eased my nerves and heightened my anticipation.

I sat up and waited, unsure about how to proceed.

I was proving to be a poor mistress, but after tonight, I hoped I would have the confidence to properly continue my relationship with Moreland.

We would be bound together for a few weeks at least—or I hoped that would be true.

I planned to make use of the time we had together to forge memories that would last me a lifetime.

“Last chance to change your mind, Victoria.”

I met his gaze, and my voice was unwavering. “I want this more than you could imagine. And not because of what happened today. I won’t change my mind.”

He walked farther into the room, his steps silent.

I watched the graceful way he moved as he stripped off his tailcoat and raised a hand to his cravat.

I was mesmerized as he undid the fabric’s knot and pulled it loose.

He dropped it onto the chair at my dressing table and draped his coat over the back.

I was enthralled as he continued. He undid the buttons of his waistcoat and removed it with care before adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the chair.

I waited to see if he would remove his shirt next.

Without his waistcoat and the cravat, it gaped loose at the neck.

I could see the hint of muscles and chest hair peeking from beneath the fabric.

I hadn’t known that men had hair on their chest, but I couldn’t wait to see just how different his body was from mine.

Instead of removing his shirt, he moved his hands to his breeches. When he pulled the garment down and removed his shoes and stockings, the edge of his shirt covered him to the tops of his thighs. He stood like that, staring at me.

I licked my suddenly dry lips. “Are you—are you going to remove your shirt?” I phrased it as a question, but I meant it as a demand.

His brow quirked upward, and he folded his arms across his chest. “I’ll remove my shirt when you remove your nightdress.”

Summoning my courage, I turned down the coverlet and stood. We were facing each other now, only a few feet separating us.

“That’s not fair, my lord. You are the more experienced person here. I am but a shy maiden.”

He laughed and held out a hand. “Come here.”

I obeyed his command without question and allowed him to draw me into his embrace. It was where I wanted to be, after all—in his arms. I lifted my face and rose onto my tiptoes just as he leaned down and took my mouth in a heated kiss.

Any uncertainty I’d harbored vanished. The sun hadn’t set yet, and it was scandalous to do this before nightfall, but I didn’t care.

He deepened the kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

With a gruff sound, he placed his arms under my backside, and it was only then that I realized he’d been inching up the fabric of my nightdress.

I’d been so distracted by the way he kissed me, the feel of his muscular chest against mine and the hard length of him pressing against me.

He lifted me with surprising ease, and some instinct had me wrapping my legs around his waist. When he pulled back to look down at me, his eyes were dark.

“I’m not going to stop, Victoria.”

I grinned. “Good. I don’t want you to.”

And with that, we tumbled onto the bed.

With a flurry of movement, he carefully lifted my nightdress. I was too distracted by my own task of divesting him of his shirt. My hands trembled but not because I was afraid. I didn’t think I’d ever wanted anything more than what was happening between us.

His gaze swept over my body. “I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to see you like this. Leaving you last night was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

He might have been content to look for the moment, but I was eager to touch him.

I started at his shoulders, enjoying the way his hard flesh felt under my fingertips.

I moved down to his chest, exploring the muscles beneath the hair that covered him there.

My touch trailed down to his abdomen, where the hair tapered to a fine line leading farther down.

His hands covered mine, and our eyes met. He didn’t have to ask the question.

“I want to do this.”

He nodded and released me. I looked down for the first time at the hard length of him.

I wasn’t completely innocent. After my conversation with Mirabelle yesterday, I’d summoned the courage to ask Lily a few questions this morning.

She had filled in the blanks in my knowledge about what happened between a man and a woman.

Lily hadn’t been surprised by my questions, and I realized the staff already knew that Moreland and I were no longer pretending that I was his mistress. But my maid’s roundabout descriptions of what would happen tonight hadn’t prepared me for this.

I looked up at him. “Is that supposed to fit inside me?”

He laughed and rolled us over. I was on my back now, and he hovered over me.

“It will fit,” he said and kissed me again.

I’d meant to touch him, give him some of the same pleasure he’d shown me last night, but the feel of his heated body touching me everywhere erased all thoughts.

I became pure sensation, relishing the way his hands traced over my body as I explored the muscles along his back.

When his hand moved between us, I opened my legs. I already knew what would happen.

“I’m ready,” I said when his fingers found me.

He stared down at me. “I’ll make sure of it.” Then he started kissing his way down my body.

He spent some time kissing and caressing my breasts. When he spread my legs farther and stared up at me from between them, I remembered something that Mirabelle had shared with me. But she’d also told me that most men didn’t like doing that.

I was about to tell him that he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to, but then his mouth was on me, and I was incapable of speech.

The sounds I made should have embarrassed me, but I was beyond shame.

When he eased one, then two fingers inside me and curled them against me, pleasure crashed through me, and I called out his name.

I hadn’t thought myself capable of surpassing the ecstasy he’d shown me last night, but I was clearly mistaken. If he continued along his current trajectory, then lovemaking would be even better.

He lifted himself over me, his face serious. “This might hurt.”

“Because it’s too big?”

A surprised chuckle escaped him. “No, Victoria, not because I’m too big. Because this is your first time. But I promise that next time, it will be easier.”

I nodded my understanding, but my mind was fixed on the inherent promise of those words. Next time. He wouldn’t bed me then grow bored and move on to another woman. Not right away. It was his way of promising that he would stay with me for a little while.

He kissed me as he fit his hard length along my folds. I’d enjoyed the way his fingers and mouth felt when he’d touched me there, but this was something altogether new. It was as though my body knew what was about to happen and was desperate for him to make love to me.

I felt a sharp pinch of pain as he thrust into me, then he stilled.

I panted. “That did hurt.”

“I know.” He rested his forehead against mine and waited. “Tell me when I can move.”

I was a little afraid to move myself, but true to his word, he remained still, though I could see the strain in the clench of his jaw and the way he closed his eyes.

I didn’t know how long we stayed like that before I realized the pain had passed, but I felt full. I clenched around him, and he groaned.

“Victoria…”

“You can move,” I said.

“Thank God.” He pulled out slowly, then eased back inside me, much more slowly than he had the first time.

I tensed, waiting for the pain to return, but none came. When he did it a second time and pressed his thumb on that spot where he’d placed his mouth before, pleasure raced through me. I couldn’t hold back my whimper.

He started moving faster then. The more he pushed into me, the greater my excitement rose. When he’d used his mouth, my relief had been swift. But this time, it was a slow build. My body reached a height that I feared would kill me.

“Moreland,” I said, “I don’t know if I can?—”

“You can.” He angled his hips and hit a space inside me that caused a shock of sensation to pierce me. His thumb kept moving against me, and overwhelming euphoria crashed through me. My entire body tensed, and I saw stars behind my closed lids.

He groaned as he pushed himself all the way inside me.

Then he swore as he pulled out. I could feel his release against my belly.

Lily had told me about it—that she would find something I could use to help prevent me from falling with child, but that I needed to be careful because if he spent himself inside me, it might happen.

I had completely forgotten her warning. Thank goodness Moreland had his wits about him.

He kissed me softly. “Stay here.” He stood, and I watched him stride to the washbasin set up behind a dressing screen. The play of muscles on his backside was surprisingly pleasant to witness. He returned with a washcloth and cleaned up the mess he’d made on my stomach.

“Do you want me to…?” He indicated between my legs.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll do it.”

He smiled a little. “There’s blood there. Not a lot, but…”

I nodded. “I know.”

I waited for him to turn around, but when he didn’t, I gathered my courage and moved to the dressing area. I was glad for the privacy of the screen as I cleaned myself. When I returned, I gasped when I saw the blood on the coverlet.

He was correct when he’d said there wasn’t much, but it was still shocking.

“Come here,” he said, pulling down the fabric.

I slid into bed. Moreland stayed standing, looking down at me. I held my breath as I waited to see if he would join me. When he walked away, my heart sank.

But instead of making his way to where he’d left his clothing, he moved to the dressing area, and I realized he must be cleaning the blood from himself.

When he returned, he climbed into bed next to me.

I moved into his arms without a word and settled against him.

Contentment washed over me as he pulled my head onto his chest. I realized that this was what it felt like to be happy.

I closed my eyes, memorizing the way he felt.

I would relish this moment for the rest of my life.