Page 10

Victoria

A sense of loss settled over me when Moreland left with my brother, which I recognized was absurd.

Moreland was loyal to Rexford and would always choose him over me.

We’d known each other less than a day, after all.

But I couldn’t deny that I’d gained great comfort from his promise to take care of me.

The way he’d looked at me when we were sitting together, the way he’d leaned toward me…

My foolish romantic whim had led me to believe he might kiss me.

But now, away from the magnetism of his personality, I realized I’d imagined his interest. Moreland would never do anything to raise my brother’s ire.

Still, I couldn’t ignore the longing that washed over me as the front door closed behind them.

I hesitated, unsure what to do. What if Rexford needed Moreland to do something else for him?

I could go upstairs and ask Lily to keep me company.

I’d enjoyed getting to know her better yesterday.

I’d noticed the above-average number of footmen my brother had hired and knew they would keep me safe.

I wanted Moreland’s company, but I didn’t need him.

I waited several more seconds. Then, with a shake of my head, I left the drawing room. I’d just started climbing the stairs when the front door opened. I whirled, my stomach swooping.

It was Moreland.

I could hear Rexford’s carriage pulling away, and relief flooded me that Moreland hadn’t gone with him.

“You returned.”

He seemed surprised to see me there and stared at me, a slight V forming between his brows. “I promised I would.”

Had he? My emotions were so muddled. Fear, yes, but mixed with a healthy dose of something new and unexpected. Evidently, when it came to Moreland, my usual sense of preservation was nowhere to be found.

“I thought that perhaps Rexford needed to call you away.”

He shook his head. “No, he just wanted to make sure you were well. He feared you were putting on a brave face for him.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, because my brother was correct. The entire situation was overwhelming for someone who’d spent their entire life being told that they needed to be circumspect in all things. It had never even occurred to me that I could choose my future.

With anyone else, I wouldn’t admit the truth. But Moreland wasn’t just anyone. “This is more difficult than I thought it would be.”

His features softened. “I imagine this is the first time you’ve done anything to thwart your father’s will.”

I smiled lightly. “That you know about.”

His eyes crinkled, his amusement clear. “What could you possibly have done that went against your father’s wishes?”

I shrugged. In truth, my small rebellions were nothing to brag about. “I read novels when Father dictated that my reading material should be dedicated to subjects that would improve my mind. Things that would make me an asset to someone he deemed worthy of marrying me.”

He must have sensed there was more because he waited for me to continue.

“And occasionally, when he was gone—usually on those days when he was in parliament—Lily and I would sneak from the house and go to Hatchard’s Bookshop.

I always came home with music that would prove to him I was dedicated to improving my skill at the pianoforte for my future husband’s pleasure, and books on proper household management.

But I hoarded those novels as a small treasure. ”

I couldn’t help but wonder if Father would find them now.

If he tore my room apart—or more likely, he would have a servant do it—they would find the books.

Would he care? The whole world would soon learn that I was Moreland’s mistress.

No doubt he would see those novels as evidence that my mind had been warped by what he called romantic nonsense.

Silence stretched between us, and I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t actually his mistress. He was only here because of his loyalty and friendship to my brother.

I straightened and forced myself to say, “If you have somewhere else you need to be?—”

He shook his head. “Nothing is more important than my duty to you.”

Duty. I frowned at the word. Of course, he would see me as a chore to be handled.

He continued. “I would appreciate it if you could show me to the study or the library. I have a few notes to write, to people who were expecting to see me today. I need to inform them I’m busy elsewhere.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know if there’s a study. I haven’t explored the entire house yet. But there is a library at the back of the house.”

He seemed frustrated, but at that moment, I didn’t care.

For whatever reason, Moreland was trying to distance himself.

I’d had to cultivate that particular skill myself to dissuade gentlemen who were trying to get too friendly.

I recognized the maneuver when I saw it.

Gone was the man who’d sat next to me and leaned in closely, making me believe he wanted to kiss me. In his stead stood a formal stranger.

I waved a hand toward the back of the house. “The dining room is next to the drawing room. Feel free to use the library if there’s no study downstairs.”

He inclined his head, and I took that small motion for the dismissal it was.

Turning, I kept my back ramrod straight as I made my way upstairs.

I could feel his eyes on me, but I wouldn’t turn around.

If he thought I was a silly chit who was spinning all manner of romantic nonsense because he deigned to smile at me, then he was sadly mistaken.

I was used to men seeing me as an asset, something to be acquired, or as a chore, someone to endure. I refused to behave like the senseless cliché he no doubt thought me to be.

I walked to my room, closed the door, and took in the space.

It was well-appointed and clearly meant for a woman, decorated in pale blues with gold accents on the furniture.

A richly brocaded gold-white-and-ivory counterpane covered the bed.

I wondered, for the first time, if Rexford had ever kept a mistress here. Did he have a mistress now?

It didn’t really matter. All I cared about was the fact that Moreland had never had a mistress. It was foolish, but the knowledge made me feel lighter.

I made my way to the bed and sat. What was I supposed to do now?