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Victoria

M y conversation with Mirabelle was eye-opening. I didn’t try to hide the fact that my knowledge had significant gaps. But I couldn’t ask the one question about which I was most curious. What would it feel like to have a man push inside me for the first time?

I’d heard whispers about pain, but I was starting to question whether that was true. Especially since Mirabelle made it clear that she enjoyed the act of making love.

If she thought my reluctance to share details about my experiences with Moreland was odd, she kept that to herself. I’d been sheltered, after all, and had just come out in society. I knew that she assumed my reluctance to divulge any details was due to my inexperience.

After she left, my thoughts whirled with possibilities. But I could hardly do some of the things she’d suggested when I still needed to convince Moreland not to push me away.

I spent the rest of the day experimenting with oil paints and quickly discovered I had no talent for them. I would have to continue with watercolors, which I’d only just started using before Father had stopped my art lessons.

When evening approached, I put aside the paints and brushes. Time was running late, and I had to ask one of the maids to clean my brushes. It felt indulgent, but I had to prepare for Moreland’s arrival.

I hurried upstairs and summoned Lily to help me into the gown Madame Argent had sent that afternoon. It wasn’t one of the more risqué styles she’d suggested, but the fabric had looked lovely against my skin.

I gazed at the dress, which I’d asked Lily to lay out on my bed.

It was pale blue, its fabric shimmering in the late-afternoon light that filtered through the window.

The bodice was modest yet flattering. It was a gown suited for an evening affair, though perhaps a bit formal for a private dinner at home.

Still, I wanted to look my best for Moreland.

I considered asking Lily to take down my hair, but in the end, I shied away from the request. She knew that Moreland and I slept in separate bedchambers, and I couldn’t admit that I hoped tonight would put an end to that arrangement.

When I made my way downstairs, I was pleased to discover that Moreland was already waiting for me in the drawing room.

His gaze swept over me, taking in my formal attire. “Were you planning on going out tonight?”

Nervous energy filled me as I closed the space between us. “I don’t have many dresses here.”

“You always look beautiful, Victoria.”

I blushed and moved closer to him, resting a hand on his arm.

For a moment, I feared he would push me away.

Instead, his expression softened, and he gave me the kiss I’d been hoping for.

It was nothing compared to the passionate embrace we’d shared last night, but it signaled that he didn’t intend to reject me.

Our kiss was short, and all too soon, he released me. “I was told that you had a guest today.”

I sighed. Given my precarious situation, it made sense that the staff would report any comings and goings to him. “I thought that, given my position, it might be worthwhile to speak with her.”

He frowned. “You don’t need advice from Mirabelle Devereux.”

I raised a brow. “Am I not your mistress?”

He swore under his breath. “You won’t be moving from protector to protector in a series of short-term arrangements. What we have here…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m not sure what we’re doing.”

“You know that I admire you and that I find you attractive.”

His eyes darkened, his gaze searching mine as I bared my soul.

Terrified that he would change his mind, I continued. “I’ve been thinking about what happened last night, and you should know that my feelings remain the same.”

He smiled then, and the only word to describe it was sinful. “Your brother will call me out for this.”

“I doubt that very much. From everything I’ve heard, he wouldn’t be in a position to judge my actions.”

“Perhaps not. But I was asked to protect you.”

I placed a hand on his arm as concern bloomed in my chest. “Did he warn you not to…?” I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. How exactly could I phrase this when I was too embarrassed to ask for what I really wanted from him?

He shook his head. “He warned me not to hurt you. But I think he knew that, given the situation and how close we’d need to become…” He shrugged. “I think he realizes that it is inevitable.”

“Because you are known for bedding many women.” Mirabelle had told me as much, and I hated the images that had sprung to mind.

“Have you been seeing anyone when you’re not here?

” I couldn’t keep the question from slipping out.

It was my greatest fear that he was playing nursemaid to me while seeking pleasure elsewhere.

“No, Victoria.” His voice was firm, steady. “I haven’t been able to think about another woman since meeting you.”

The dark note in his voice made my stomach tighten. “I’m not sure how I’m going to eat right now.”

He laughed then, his expression almost boyish. “I’m sure we’ll manage.”