Page 21

CHAPTER 20

TRISTAN

I can hear the fear in her voice. It enrages me, the fact someone would make her this scared. The way it trembles at the end of each word she says. Her hand is cold as I take it, her body slightly trembling when I brace behind her for the support she so obviously needs in this moment. One of my arms goes around her waist. I’m not worried about how we should feel because we’re in public, I’m more concerned with the woman who will soon wear the crown beside me. The woman who is very quickly becoming one of the most important people in my life.

Leaning down, I angle my face to her ear, not taking my eyes off the man in front of her. “What’s wrong, Lia?”

The man in front of us has the eyes of the devil. They’re hard and angry, like he’s been misrepresented in life so he’s now trying to live up to all the shit people assume he’s done.

I know what that’s like. Everyone thought I was a wild teenager. I didn’t start out that way, but as soon as I realized that’s what others expected of me, I lived up to it in a big way. Luckily I’m growing up and getting older now. I realize what that did to people who care about me. Now I’m wondering why this man is doing this to the woman I will call my wife.

He flinches when I call her Lia, and part of me wonders why. Did he call her this name once before? She didn’t object when I gave her the nickname.

Her hand clasps mine around her waist. She grips my fingers tightly, almost as if she’s taking strength from me. It’s what I want her to do. Take whatever she needs from me. I want to be the person to give her the confidence and strength she needs. “Someone from my past, who doesn’t matter now.”

“Then we should be going,” I say the words with a finality so there is no question. No one would dare question the future king, anyway. I make sure to let him know with the firm set of my lips, there is to be no questioning my authority. “It’s almost time to eat.”

As we leave, she flips her hand over in mine so that our palms clasp, I entwine my fingers with hers, navigating the crowd. Her hand is freezing, shaking slightly in the protection of mine. When we get to what will eventually be our table, I push us past it and direct her outside onto a balcony. Parker stands quietly by, watching under his ever-present gaze.

It’s cold, slightly snowing. I can see our breath in the stillness of the night, but I have to know what was going on back there. It’s a gnawing in my gut that won’t let go.

“What are we doing out here?” She wraps her hands around her upper arms, scrubbing up and down. I wonder if she’s scrubbing his gaze off her, or if she’s cold. Either way I’m a gentleman.

Shrugging off my jacket, I close her up in it, running my hands up and down, hoping to generate some heat. My voice is low as I speak to her. Even though I think we’re alone, one can never be too sure. “This is the only place we could be alone. I have questions, and hopefully you have answers.”

“I’ll never lie to you, Tris, I know how important that is.” Her chin quivers in the semi-darkness, and that little sign of vulnerability is almost enough to undo me.

Leaning forward, I rest my head on her shoulder before I kiss her cheek. “It is extremely important to me. Please know I’ll respect your wishes if you don’t want to talk about this, but I have to ask. What was going on with Callum back there?”

Her eyebrows come together in question. “You know him? The two of you acted like you’ve never met one another.”

“A mutual agreement. Unfortunately I do. Our families know one another. He and I have never been friends.”

He stole something from me as a child and then lied about it. I’ve never been one to forgive easily and the grudge I’m holding against him has been one I’ve been harboring for years. To know he’s done something to Amelia makes me want to rage.

She looks like she doesn’t want to tell me, but I take a chance, whispering in her ear. “We both had lives before we met each other, Lia. Just tell me.”

I know she doesn’t like thinking of my life before her, and I sure as hell don’t want to think of hers. But we’re human, and being a human is sometimes messy. If we’re going to be together, it’s got to be through the messy honesty of our pasts.

“He was my first,” she whispers back at me.

The knife goes through my heart. I know what kind of an asshole this guy is. To know he was her first, how sensitive she is, and how passionate she’s been with me, is enough to make me clench my hand in a fist. I’d love to knock out his two front teeth.

“And it was awful. I never remember saying yes to him.” She closes her eyes. “But I don’t remember saying no either. It’s a blur.”

Fucking Callum Wright. There have been rumors going around about him for years, and to hear her talk about things I’ve heard. Goddamn him. “Why is it a blur?”

I’m torturing myself, wanting to know the answer to these questions. But I need to know, have to know what’s happened to her. Maybe one day it’ll give me the knowledge I need to get him out of our circle, and if it happens, then so-fucking-be-it.

“Callum was my first crush, my first kiss, and everything in between.” She grips my white tux shirt in her fingers. She’s playing with the buttons. I know from experience it’s a nervous gesture, so I let her continue, but the small way she’s talking is breaking my heart. She’s shrinking in on herself, trying to become invisible. I hate what he’s obviously done to her. “He knew I was promised to you, and I was going through a little bit of a rebellious phase.”

“Trust me,” I interrupt her. “He knew what he was doing, there is absolutely no love lost between the two of us.”

“One night my mom was talking about what my life would be like once I was promised to you. How she and I imagined things would be. Funny.” She laughs. “I didn’t exactly figure on us being compatible at all. But I was scared.” She shrugs. “I was a teenager and scared by what was expected of me. He happened to be visiting my brother, and I told him I didn’t want to do what was required, I wish I hadn’t been betrothed.”

“I’m sure he used that to his advantage.” My tone is darker than even I like to hear it.

“We went to the barn, up to the hayloft. He gave me a drink to calm my nerves, and I can remember telling him I felt weird, but he said it was okay, he would take care of me. Then I remember pain, so much pain.” She stops, refusing to meet my gaze.

“Don’t you be ashamed of this, Lia. Don’t think it’s going to change the way I feel about you. He’s an ass and a manipulator, always has been.”

She breathes deeply. “After that night, he didn’t come around much. I don’t know if it’s because he got what he wanted, or because someone found out. Either way, I haven’t seen him in years, so it was surprising to see him here tonight.”

“Tristan.” I hear Parker’s voice. “They are expecting you. Everyone is starting to sit down for the food.”

“Not now.” I turn from her to face him. It’s not often I use my status to my advantage, but right now? I’m using it to within an inch of its life. She needs me, and I need her. Everyone else can wait. This is what’s most important. “We’re the guests of honor and we’ll go in there when we’re ready.”

“Tris.” She frames my face with her hands, her voice chiding. “Let’s go, there’s no reason to make everyone else late because I’m telling you about all the mistakes I’ve made. ”

I want to argue, to tell her with one command anyone will do what I want them to. Immediately I know that’s not what she wants or needs, but fuck I need it. I need to be close to her for one more moment, to be reminded that the experience with Callum didn’t ruin her.

In this moment I want to be normal, want to let her get her feelings out, and be the helpful fiancé, but I can’t because I’m expected to rule a nation. “Wait.” I grab hold of her fingers. “Out of every obligation I’ve supposedly ever had in my life.” I pull her to me. “You’re the best one.”

She smiles brilliantly before I lean down, capturing her lips with a kiss.

“You’re my favorite one too, Tris.”

With a smile on my face and a warmth in my chest, we go face not only our adoring public, but our adversaries who would love to tear us down. But that—I look at our hands clasped together, fingers entwined—will never happen.