Page 31

DEAN

There is something seriously wrong with me.

I knew touching her in the elevator was a bad idea.

But I knew not touching her was equally bad.

It took every ounce of strength I could muster to walk away, to just let her be. I’ve never had to fight myself so hard before.

River wants to go back to the way things were. She’s been harping on it since I moved in.

If that’s what she wants, I’ll do it for her.

I twist the knob on my stereo, and the music fills the room.

I have no doubt it’s too loud. In fact, I’m willing to bet she’ll be pounding on my door in three…

Two…

One…

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I smile.

See? Something is wrong with me.

I can’t help it though. I miss her. Want and will use any excuse to be around her. Even if it means she’s just coming over here to yell, at least I’ll get to see her again.

With slow steps, I make my way down the hall, letting her simmer out there before yanking it open.

She stumbles back but catches herself quickly. She pokes her chin out, pushing her tits up and meeting me head-on.

I smirk down at her, noting that this time she was at least smart enough to throw on a robe before traipsing over here.

“River. What brings you by?”

“Are we really going to have a repeat of this again? Last I checked, it didn’t end too well for you.”

Damn. I am never going to live that fire down, am I?

Never mind that.

I tip my head. “But it turned out well for you, didn’t it?”

She knows exactly what I’m referring to—all the nights I spent in her bed, all the nights I made her scream and helped her find relief.

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, so what? I just love still living next door to you, especially now that you can torture me in the same ways you did before.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” I lean down, too close because I can smell the flowery scent of bubble bath. “Torturing you?”

“Yes!” She throws her hands into the air, and I barely hold back my laugh.

She looks ridiculous right now. Hair haphazardly held together by a clip. Bright pink fuzzy robe wrapped around her. Bare feet and not a stitch of makeup on.

God, I want her.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what you’re doing, Dean. That stunt in the elevator wasn’t cool.”

“Just like it wasn’t cool for you to practically tongue-fuck that fork at the diner yesterday. If you want to play silly games, I can play them too.”

With a growl, she shoves at my chest, pushing me into my apartment.

I chuckle darkly. “What? Giving in so soon?”

“No!”

She slams the door closed, chasing me farther inside.

“What are you doing, Dean? You’re driving me insane! We were supposed to go back to normal, not torture each other more.”

I work my jaw back and forth, the frustration bubbling up as she reminds me of the rules yet again.

“Right, the rules.” I snort. “Fuck the rules.”

She jams an angry finger my way. “You agreed to them, Dean. You said it too. When your apartment was done, we were done. That was that.”

“That was before I knew you were going to completely fucking own me!”

She stumbles back at my loud words.

My chest deflates, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and it’s suddenly obvious to me what was happening all along.

I was falling for her.

Oh shit.

I love her.

I am in love with River White.

I’ve been in love with her, probably longer than I care to admit. I’ve never hated her. I’ve just met her ire pound for pound because it was fun to mess with her.

I’ve always admired her, always looked forward to seeing her.

It’s never been hate. We’ve never been enemies.

We’re just idiots who can’t see what’s right in front of us.

“W-What?” She gapes up at me with wide eyes.

I exhale slowly and take a step toward her. Then another.

She gulps when we’re standing just six inches apart.

“You own me, River.”

“I… No. I don’t.”

I nod. “You do. You fucking do and it drives me mad that you do.”

She peers up at me, eyes full of surprise and worry and confusion and so many of the same things I’m feeling.

“I don’t know when it happened—maybe it’s always been the case—but it’s true. You’re smart and funny. You challenge me every fucking second of every day, always keeping me on my toes. And you’re drop-dead fucking gorgeous on top of it.”

She scoffs. “Yes, so hot right now.”

“Even right now, because you’re so authentically you. Unapologetic about who you are and what you want.”

“Please. I can hardly decide what I want for dinner most nights.”

“Stop trying to talk me out of it.”

She darts her tongue out, wetting her lips. Her eyes flit off to the side, looking anywhere but at me. “That’s not what it was supposed to be,” she says quietly.

I nod. “I know. But it just is what it is.”

Her breaths are coming in sharper. “No labels.”

Another step. “I know.”

“No pressure.”

Another, and we’re so close I can see the swirls of color in her eyes. “I know.”

“No attachments, Dean.”

I slide my finger under her chin and tilt her face up. Her bottom lip is captured between her teeth, and her eyes are full of so many emotions.

I give her a lazy grin. “Oops.”

“You left,” she whispers, dropping her forehead to my chin.

I press a kiss to the top of her head. “You didn’t ask me to stay.”

“I wanted to. I was scared. The rules…”

“Fuck the rules,” I repeat.

Then I cup her face and claim her mouth.

I kiss her slowly. Softly.

I tell her I love her without using the words.

We’re both gasping for air when I finally pull my lips from hers.

“This is a bad idea.”

“Absolutely awful,” I agree.

“We’re neighbors. What if this doesn’t work out? Then what happens? We already failed at trying to make things not be awkward and go back to the way they were before. How are we going to navigate after something real?”

“I think what we had was real.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I, but if you want an answer for it, how about this: if things go south between us, you can move.”

She growls. “Dean…”

I laugh. “I’m kidding. Kind of.” I lick my dry lips. “I doubt we’ll have to worry about it not working out.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because we survived living together once when you truly hated me. We’ll survive again.”

She chews on her bottom lip, thinking it over.

Finally, she nods. “Okay.”

“Okay?” I ask quietly, lightly brushing my mouth over hers.

“Okay, but I have to tell you something first.”

“What?”

“I broke them too…the rules. I got attached.”

I laugh. “No shit.”

“I don’t hate you, Dean.”

“I know, River.” I sigh against her lips. “I don’t hate you either.”