Page 3

DEAN

It never fails.

Rain or shine, River White is always at The Gravy Train on Sunday mornings. Even if her best friend Maya doesn’t show, River is here, because River loves cherry pie as much as I do.

Actually, I’ve concluded she likes anything sweet.

She always seems to be snacking on green M&M’S, and because we’ve shared the same elevator on grocery days one too many times, I am aware of the things she buys, even when I don’t want to be, like that time she bought a wholesale-sized box of condoms.

In the year I’ve lived here, I haven’t met another person who annoys me and intrigues me as much as my neighbor does. One second, she’s sweet and smiling. The next, she’s ready to rip someone’s head off.

Usually that someone is me.

If there’s one thing about River I’m certain of—other than her love of pie—it’s her hatred of me.

I let my eyes roam over her as she stares at me with a look that says, I’ll kill you, then I’ll help them look for your body.

Full of fire and probably a little bit of demonic possession, she stands just shy of five foot five.

Her deep red hair—forged in the pits of hell, I’m sure—hangs loosely down her back, just begging to be pulled.

Today she’s wearing what I’ve come to recognize as her “I had another failed date and ate a pint of ice cream and half a box of cookies” attire: joggers and a shirt with more holes in it than Swiss cheese.

Yet, she’s still drop-dead gorgeous.

And that’s the part that irritates me the most.

No matter how often—and it’s very often—River makes her feelings for me clear, I’m still undeniably physically attracted to her, even when I don’t want to be.

She’s borderline rude. She’s obnoxious. Bossy. And she’s the worst neighbor in the entire fucking world.

I only wish my dick would catch on to all that.

I plop down onto a stool across from my enemy.

“You were saying something about my ass?” I set my plate down and situate Leo on the table next to me.

He ducks back into his shell, a little nervous of his surroundings, but he’ll pop back out as soon as he sees there’s no threat.

For a creature that typically likes to do the solo thing, he’s oddly friendly.

Even more so on Sundays, the day I take him to the park and let him explore.

“Are you shitting me?”

River’s angry mutter cuts through me…and heads south.

Like always, I ignore it.

There’s no point in acknowledging it. I don’t actually like her. It’s my dick that likes her. It also likes when I see a shape in a wooden table that resembles a pussy.

It’s nothing but my cock talking.

It’s absolutely nothing personal and all just imagery.

“Come on now, River. I don’t need to hear about your shits. I’m trying to enjoy my pie.” I stab my slice with my fork, shoving a healthy bite into my mouth.

She stares at me, lips twisted up with rage.

I grin at her around the delicious baked goodness.

Beats me why she despises me like she does, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t fun to screw with her and get a rise.

She seethes, gritting her teeth. “I hate you.”

“River!”

I swallow, wiping my mouth on my napkin. “It’s fine, Maya. This isn’t the first time River’s made her feelings for me clear.”

“You can say that again.” Lucy, my building manager who totally loves me, backs me up without ever glancing away from her crossword book.

To my surprise, River’s cheeks turn a deep red. I didn’t think anything embarrassed her.

“Ignore my best friend.”

Maya glares at River, who shrugs.

“I said what I said.” She crosses her arms defiantly. “I hate him.”

“She’s just mad because I scored the last piece of cherry pie.”

“Scored it? SCORED IT?” She inhales sharply. “You mean you swindled a gullible kid for it.”

“Hey! I’m not gullible!”

“Oh, you’re not?” River turns to Sam. “Then tell me what he told you to get you to switch a cherry slice for a blackberry one.”

“He said he saw one of the servers touch it after she picked her nose. I didn’t think you’d want to eat booger pie, Aunt River. I did it for you.” He smiles proudly at himself.

Shit, this kid is too easy. I told him last week that it was illegal to eat cherry pie on that particular Sunday. He was scared River would get arrested and begged me to eat it myself.

Fool.

“You didn’t think to question him when he then ordered booger pie for himself?”

I cut in. “I ordered everything at once. I didn’t bring up the boogers until we were on our way over here with the goods.”

“I have so many questions…” She narrows her eyes, trying to figure out where this is heading.

“Hit me with them. I’m a teacher—I get asked stupid questions all the time.”

“You said there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Sam tilts his head, staring at me accusingly.

“And I totally meant that for you, Sam. You never ask me stupid questions.”

“Oh crap. My kid is gullible,” Maya whispers, horrified.

I try not to laugh and give River my attention. “Well?”

“ You paid for breakfast?”

“I always pay for breakfast.”

“You do not! Maya and I rotate. One week it’s me, then the next it’s her. Always. We’ve never not done that. We…”

Her words die, and I’m sure it’s because she’s finally realizing that the mornings I’m here, there’s never a charge on her card.

We might be enemies, but I was raised with manners.

Besides, I’m a little afraid my mom’s My Kid is Being a Shithead senses would tingle, and she’d whoop my ass if I weren’t doing the gentlemanly thing by paying for breakfast.

“You… You…”

“Me, me, what?” I mock. “Were you going to say I’m a kind, sweet, insanely attractive man? Because I know you weren’t about to call me an ass.”

I swipe an M&M from her stash and toss it into my mouth, grinning.

“You ass!”

“No.” I push my finger against the table. “Nope. There are a few rules in life I abide by. If someone buys you pie, you absolutely can not call them an ass. Them’s the rules, River.”

She turns her nose up. “I don’t care if you buy me pie. I still hate you.”

“But a little bit less, right?”

She doesn’t say anything, but I can see it in her eyes.

They shift down to Leo, then roll right back in her head.

“Hey, be nice to Leo. He doesn’t deserve your wrath.”

“Seriously? You brought your turtle—I’m sorry, emotional support turtle— to breakfast. Again. What the hell?”

She can be mean to me all she wants, but Leo? No way. The little fella has been through the wringer.

“Listen, Ms. Sasshole. Leo isn’t my emotional support turtle. I’m his emotional support handler. He was injured when he lived with his last owner. I’m helping nurse him back to health.”

Her eyes widen with surprise.

Yeah, River, I’m not a total asshole. Sure, I might blare my music and steal your pie, but I do have a heart.

She shakes her head. “You’re making that up.”

I lean into the table. “Am not.”

“Are too,” she argues, matching my movements.

I shift another inch.

So does she.

Hazel.

Her eyes are hazel.

I don’t know why I’m only now noticing—probably because this is the closest I’ve ever been to her—but her eyes are the most beautiful combination of gold and green I’ve ever seen.

Her tongue peeks out and slides across her lips, and I track the movement.

I can’t look away because fuck me her mouth is so damn kissable, and it’s been entirely too long since I’ve kissed somebody.

It lasts so long that I’m sitting here contemplating closing the distance between us like this isn’t River fucking White across from me. Like she doesn’t hate me. Like I don’t hate her.

“Am not,” I force myself to say instead.

“Are—”

“You know, dears, if you wanted your own private space, we could all leave,” Lucy interrupts.

We jump apart like we’ve been caught doing something we shouldn’t, and Leo darts back into his shell, startled by the sudden movement.

“Sorry, buddy.” I run my finger down the plastic hut, trying to soothe him.

And myself a bit.

River’s hot and gets my dick going, but kissing her? Hell would have to freeze over first.

The attraction is there, but she’s my neighbor who is constantly trying to ruin the best apartment I’ve ever had by making complaints and annoying me. I love my place way too much to start dating my neighbor, let things get all screwed up, and have to move…again.

I will never, ever kiss River White.

That I can promise.

“I’m going pee.” River shoots off her stool and practically runs to the bathroom.

She’s annoyed with me for buying her breakfast.

Good. Maybe she’ll think twice before she glares at me again for breathing too loudly for her liking.

“If that doesn’t make the guys hot, I don’t know what will.” Maya shakes her head at her friend’s retreating back.

“She sure is something else.” I take another bite of my cherry pie, which, sadly, is almost gone.

Was it a little petty of me to convince Sam to give me the last slice of cherry? Sure.

Do I regret it? Not one damn bit.

She’s the one who started this war between us, reporting me to Lucy with senseless noise complaints a week after I moved in instead of coming over and asking me to turn it down. I was willing to let us have a clean slate after the thing with her cat, but not her, apparently.

Besides, I don’t turn my shit up that loud. There was no need to go to Lucy with that trivial crap like she’s done four times now.

Luckily, Lucy takes pity on me—I’m ninety-nine percent certain she’s crushing on me—and doesn’t take the accusations any further than giving me a not-so-stern warning.

I’ll stop being petty once River does.

“So, Dean, are you looking forward to summer school starting in a couple weeks? Are you excited to start coaching football?”

Nodding, I swallow and take a sip of my coffee. “Very much so, to both. The only part I like about summer is getting to spend more time with Leo. I’d much rather be in the classroom.”

It’s true, too.

I love teaching. I love the kids and the wild shit they say. I love seeing the expressions on their faces when something clicks in their mind.