Page 18

DEAN

“You have got to be fucking kidding me…”

I growl, tapping my head against the door and gripping the handle until my knuckles are turning white.

Locked out again.

I wish I’d have stopped in at the hardware store with her in tow and forced her to make me a key the day we went to the roller rink, but the only thing that was running through my mind was that I almost kissed her.

I almost kissed River, and if Lucy hadn’t interrupted us, I would have.

Hell, even almost a week later, I’d probably still be kissing her.

Long. Hard. In all the ways I’ve thought about when I’m unable to sleep at night and unwilling to tug my cock with her in the room across the hall.

Right now, I don’t want to kiss her. I’m too damn annoyed by her.

I bang on the door. “Dammit, River! Let me in!”

An older woman from across the hall steps out of her apartment, her face pinched with disapproval. She’s given me similar looks before, and now that I know it’s not River, I’d bet good money she’s the one complaining to Lucy about me.

I give her a tight smile.

“It’s a sex-game thing.”

She gasps, clutching her chest and hurrying faster down the hall in an effort to get away from me.

I don’t feel sorry for scaring her. I’m too fucking frustrated.

I need a key to this apartment, and that changes… now .

I beat on the door yet again. “River! Open up, dammit!”

“Wow.”

I whirl around, startled by the sound.

River’s standing about three doors down, right across from the elevator. She’s leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching me with a raised brow.

“Telling old ladies we’re playing sex games and cussing at me. And here I thought you were a gentleman, Dean.”

I scoff. “You entertained no such notion.” She shrugs. “Now come open the door.”

“You’re not technically wrong.” She shoves off the wall, making her way toward me with the world’s slowest gait—probably because she fell no less than ten times while roller skating.

With the same snail’s pace, she pulls her keys from her pocket and slips the correct one into the lock, twisting them both and pushing the door open, motioning for me to go first.

“I might be an asshole sometimes, but ladies always go first.”

She grumbles something I can’t make out and pushes past me. I follow her inside.

“What’s your damage?” She tosses her purse onto the table next to the door, then kicks off her shoes.

I barely hold my sigh in. She’s standing in the middle of the entryway with me practically pressed up against the door, demanding answers like I’m the asshole in this situation.

“You’re kidding, right?” Her pursed lips tell me she’s not, and this time I do let my sigh out. “I don’t have a key, River. Still. I’ve been staying here for a while now and I have no way to come and go as I please.”

“I’ve been busy. I haven’t had the chance to get to the store and get you your own copy.”

“For two weeks?”

“For two weeks?” She mocks me like she’s twelve. “Yes. In case you haven’t realized, I run a business.”

“Oh, trust me—the repeated interrupted nights of sleep make me aware of just how busy with work you are.”

Though she promised to bring her laptop home from work, she keeps “forgetting.” At this point, I’m certain she’s getting off on making me miserable.

She doesn’t look the least bit apologetic, and I know I’m not going to get anywhere with this.

“Can you please just get me a key? I truly don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“I—”

“If not for me,” I cut her off, “then at least do it for Leo. He needs care and attention.”

Her gaze drifts toward the terrarium set up on the console and the adorable creature lounging inside.

With a huff, she rolls her eyes back my way. “I’ll make it a priority—I’ll go first thing in the morning. Why are you coming and going on a Sunday anyway?”

“I was at the shelter earlier, then I met up with a friend. I do have a life, you know.”

“You have friends?”

“Why is that surprising?”

“Because I can’t imagine someone being friends with you willingly.”

I push off the door, closing the distance between us. “I have plenty of friends, River.”

“Sounds exactly like something a person with no friends would say. I wouldn’t be surprised if you left the apartment every day to sit at the park by yourself just to make it look like your life isn’t sad.”

“That’s real rich coming from you. You forget, we’ve been neighbors for a year now. I’ve seen you come home alone many nights over the months.”

She tips her nose up. “I have standards.”

“Or maybe it’s because you can’t get a guy to take you home.”

She inhales a sharp breath, my words stinging. Her chest heaves, and she’s close enough that I can feel her breasts ghost against my body. I’d be a fucking liar if I said my dick didn’t jump at the almost contact.

Shit. Even when she’s on my last damn nerve, like right now, I want to kiss her.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

It’s all I’ve been able to think about.

It’s on my mind first thing in the morning when she’s in the kitchen making her coffee and whistling that same annoying tune she always does.

When she glowers at me for waking up and existing.

When she comes home from work looking stressed and tired.

At night when I’m lying on that shitty air mattress praying for sleep.

I think about it all. The. Damn. Time.

It’s slowly killing me. This whole week has been torture.

The worst part? It doesn’t seem like it’s affected River at all.

I need to know if it has.

Her lips curl back in a snarl. “Ass.”

“Ouch. I’m so wounded by your super-smart insult.”

“Dick.”

“Yep, I have one, baby.”

She glances pointedly at my crotch. “Could have fooled me.”

I clench my teeth together. “That was cold, but I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less from the Ice Queen herself.”

“I’m only cold toward you.”

“Says the girl who obviously spends more time curled up on her couch alone rather than out with friends.”

“Are you implying that I don’t have any friends because I’m cold?”

“You implied I didn’t first.”

“Because I’ve met you!”

“And I’ve met you .”

She sniffs haughtily, spinning away from me and putting distance between us.

I let out a quiet relieved breath, hoping she doesn’t hear it.

“I have plenty of friends, thank you very much.” She moves into the kitchen, reaching into the cabinet beside the fridge and pulling down a glass. “I just prefer to spend my nights by myself.”

“You sure had that excuse locked and loaded, didn’t you? I’m just saying, you should get out more. Take up a hobby. Your social calendar is undoubtedly not full.”

I’ve hit a nerve. I can see it in her jaw, the way it tics.

“I have hobbies.”

“Like?”

“Avoiding you.”

“Good luck with that since we’re living together now.”

“And at that reminder, I need a fucking drink.” She groans, muttering something, but the only word I can make out clearly is regret .

She bends, getting into the cabinet under the toaster. A bottle of whiskey settles heavily on the counter, and she pops the top off, pouring two fingers’ worth of booze into her glass.

Without hesitation, she tosses the alcohol back, then pours a refill.

“I—”

She holds her finger up, tosses back the second drink.

“Ah.” She smacks her lips together. “Much better. Maybe now I can deal with you. Now, what did you want to insult me with next?”

“You’re drinking your whiskey wrong. It’s meant to be savored, not guzzled like a cheap shot.”

With a roll of her eyes, she pours another drink…and slings it back.

Her gaze drops to the bottle and she shrugs. “You know what? Fuck it.” She grabs the bottle and glass, padding down the hall. “I’m taking a bath. If I drown, I’m haunting your ass!”

The bathroom door slams closed, and I can’t help but laugh.

Nolan was right.

River does challenge me like no one else ever has…especially my sanity.

Which is probably why I find myself stalking toward her like a maniac.

She doesn’t react when I push the door open, almost like she was expecting me to follow her. Her whiskey is sitting on the counter, and she’s bent over the tub in nothing but her t-shirt and underwear, messing with the water.

Her ass is in the air, and it brings back all the memories of her yoga session, which I’ve conjured up way too many times for it to be considered healthy.

Being close to her all the time…it’s getting in my head. Making me notice things about her. Forcing me to see her when she’s not so damn strung out all the time.

It’s making me like her. Making me want to be around her, and not just to annoy her.

“Are those turtles on your ass?”

“Yes.”

I narrow my eyes. “I thought you hated turtles.”

“Why would you assume that?”

“Because you hate Leo and always make fun of him.”

“Correction.” She reaches over and turns the water back off. “I hate you and make fun of you. Now can you go? You’re ruining my bath.”

When she spins around, I waste no time crowding her against the sink, caging her in.

Her body presses tightly to mine, and everything inside my brain short-circuits when I feel her breasts.

She’s soft and fits against me like that’s where she’s meant to be.

“W-What are you doing, Dean?” Her tongue peeks out, tracing her plump lips that look so, so good.

I lean toward her, wanting to taste them. Needing to taste them.

“What am I doing?”

Shit. What am I doing?

Why do I have this ridiculous desire to touch her? To taste her?

It’s River! This makes no sense.

And yet, here I am…staring down at her lips, which all too often spew words of hate.

But none of that matters in this moment.

I need to kiss her.

“I’m going to kiss you.” Her breath hitches, and I look into her eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

Her head moves almost imperceptibly.

Then, I fucking kiss River White.

And she kisses me back.

Hard.

Her arms go around my neck, her fingers crashing through my already messy hair. I paw at her like a drug fiend who’s afraid of never getting another hit, running my hands up and down her sides, over her ass. All over her. Too fucking scared I won’t get to touch her again.

My cock grows impossibly hard, and there’s no way she doesn’t feel it pressing against her. I take a chance and rock into her. She gasps.

I do it again.

Another gasp.

Without warning, she yanks away, and we’re both gasping for air like we just finished a marathon we were ill-prepared for.

“What… What the… I… We…”

Then our mouths are fused together again.

I don’t know who reaches for who first. Don’t know whose arms go around who first. Don’t know how I’m ever going to pretend I don’t know what her lips feel like.

I am so completely fucked.

I slow my mouth, turning our frenzied kiss into something calmer until our lips aren’t moving at all. I close my eyes, resting my forehead against hers.

“I…fuck,” I mutter.

She chuckles. “I agree.”

Opening my eyes, I pull back, looking at her. “What was that?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who accosted me.”

“You’re the one who didn’t push me away.”

“You’re the one who liked it…though I guess I did too.” She swallows. “Why?”

I grin. “Have you seen me shirtless?”

She doesn’t laugh. Her hazel eyes just burn into me.

I can practically see her thoughts running through her head. They’re the same ones charging through mine.

Why did I kiss her? What does it mean? What do we do now?

I don’t know. I don’t know. And I don’t fucking know.

All I know is that I want to do it again.

“Why’d you do that, Dean?”

“Because I couldn’t not do it.”

“It can’t mean anything. I hate you.”

“I don’t want it to mean anything because I hate you too.”

Then, we’re kissing again.