Page 49 of Rookie Days

“I emptied out Bryn’s locker today. No one else wanted to touch it, so…”

Oh, babe!Ellie almost blurted that out loud, stopped herself in the nick of time, though she was not sure why. Her heart was racing.

“I’m really sorry, Jan.”

“Thanks.” The word came on a sigh. “I guess it hadn’t quite sunk in for me until I did that. Even at the funeral, it felt very unreal. Bryn was such a vibrant woman, you know?”

“Yes, I got that sense.”

“I didn’t realize I was feeling so detached and disconnected. But when I touched her things…” A look of deep sorrow flashed across her face, and Ellie moved the stool a little closer still. Janet gripped her fingers hard. “Is it what you were doing out tonight, Ellie? Looking for Bryn’s killer?”

“Sort of, yes. I was walking around, trying to see the world as he would. To get inside his head.”

Janet winced in dismay.

“On your own.”

“Well.” Ellie briefly opened the side of her jacket to show her the weapon on her hip. “I have backup. It’s okay.”

“Please, be careful.”

“Sure. I’m always careful.”

“What Bryn had to go through, to endure... It breaks my heart, you know? If the monster who took her life ended up in the OR, and I had the power to end or save his…” Looking pale, Janet shook her head. “Frankly, I’m not sure what I would do.”

“Leave the monster to me, then,” Ellie advised. “It’s my job to hunt them.”

Janet’s expression turned softly searching.

“It must take a lot out of you, this job. Or does it?”

“To be honest, this one is my first case. As Quinn reminds me often, I’m still a rookie. I was tested… Recently.” It was as far as Ellie would go on the subject, at least for the time being. “But I’m okay. Whatever the job may take out of me, it will be more than worth it when we get our hands on the perpetrator. That’s what drives me.”

It was a relief from the weight of this conversation when Janet took a sip of wine and went on to give her a mischievous smile.

“A rookie, uh?”

“According to my lieutenant, yes.”

“Mmm…” Janet narrowed her eyes slightly as she allowed her gaze to roam, and seemed to forget what else she was about to say.

Ellie attempted to remain cool under the scrutiny. Janet had a way of watching that made her feel exposed… And wanting to be. It was less like looking and more like caressing with her eyes. Music was at the right volume around the bar area now to invite private conversation. It was comfortably warm. And lights were perfect to give a woman the impression of being intimately alone with her partner of choice.Either that or maybe she obliterates every other woman in the vicinity…Whatever. Ellie just went with the flow.

“You took me by surprise the other night by coming round, you know?”

Janet met her eyes, half sheepish and half proud.

“I know. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I know that too. I didn’t say it wasn’t a pleasant surprise.” Ellie was taken aback at the sense of relief that she felt as she admitted this, and watched a tentative smile hover around the corners of Janet’s abundant mouth. “I didn’t like the way we left each other that night. I tried to ignore it, but… I’m very glad for a chance to tell you now.”

“Thank you.” Janet touched gentle knuckles to her cheek. “I wasn’t happy either and it was my fault, storming out on you like that. To be honest, Ellie, I also did not expect to feel so much when I was talking to you.”

“You still do?”

Janet’s smile blossomed now.

“So it would seem, yes.”