Page 156 of River of Deceit

btw what’s this about Ares being into a guy?

Kratos

i dunno some guy who never smiles but ares thinks hes got a massive cock i guess

“Does that really matter right now?” River asks. “Fuck, Pandora. This is going to be a mess. Zayden and Blaze are already at each other’s throats.”

“Well, it’s only a mess if you snitch on Kratos,” I point out. I rub my thumb along the bottom of his eye to wipe away some of the tear tracks. “It’s not a big deal. You’re fine, everybody’s fine. It’s not like Kratos and his buddies did real damage.”

“If it wasn’t for that attack, everyone wouldn’t have been acting like they were, Pandora,” he says sharply. “We’d all already been drinking. Franklin had been so intent on feeling like one of the guys that he did something stupid. And they wouldn’t have evennoticedhim if he hadn’t tried to be a big man. He tried to do something brave, andeveryonepaid attention to him.”

I tilt my head, and the stabbing inside my chest starts up again. “Your friend’s death wasn’t Kratos’s fault, River. I mean, if we want to look at the real cause, it was probably him not standing up for himself. It’s kind of stupid to?—”

“It’s kind of stupid?” he snaps. “It’s not stupid to think that it wouldn’t have happened at all if your brother and his friends hadn’t pulled something like that!”

Wait.

This isn’t how this is supposed to go.

I’m supposed to make River feel better.

“Not you,” I argue. “I meant your friend. If he knew he was allergic, he could have refused the vape.”

“He tried, Pandora!” River bursts out. “He tried, and they pushed him, and he gave in because they said it was fucking synthetic, and he believed them. Hetrustedthem. And I…” He lets out another bitter laugh. “I didn’t stop it. I barely even tried. I left him there with them and didn’t even notice he was having an allergic reaction until it was too late.”

“How is that your fault?” I say, reaching out for him. “Look, he made his dumb choice, and?—”

“His dumb choice?” River snarls, pulling away from me. “Maybe you’re immune to wanting other people to like you, but Franklin isn’t.Wasn’t. Think of him as weak or pathetic all you want, but it’s not going to change the fact that he’s gone!”

“Right, and we can hurt the people who gave him the vape!” I’m still not sure I understand the flow of events, but if this is all starting to spiral in weird directions. “You already took care of one guy. Just Zayden and the other dick to go. Come on, we can plot out how extreme you want to make it. Ooh, if either of them is allergic to something, we should make them choke on that.”

“Murder isn’t the solution to every problem,” River says, getting up from the bed and taking a step away from me. “Christ, I should’ve known you wouldn’t understand. You think everyone is like you, aloof and above it all, and you think violence is the only solution. Well, news flash, it isn’t going to bring him back. Nothing will.”

The thing inside my empty chest cavity starts clawing its way out again, and I reach up to clutch my chest.

Thethump thump thumpof the fists pounding against my ribs echoes in my ears.

I have to fix this. I can’t let River leave again.

“Violence isn’t the only solution!” I say, getting off the bed to join him. I place my hands on his arms,and he flinches. “Come on. You wanted comfort. I can do that. Fuck me soft or hard, however you want. I’ll take it.”

“I don’t want sex,” River says, taking a step away from me. “I wanted understanding, but I guess that’s too hard for you, isn’t it?”

“No, it isn’t!” I get closer to him again, reaching for his hand, but he pulls it away. “Please, River. I understand you’re hurting. It really, really sucks what happened. I can tell you cared for Frankie?—”

“Franklin!” he shouts. “His name was Franklin! Are you even paying attention to a single word I’m saying? You think he’s some patheticloser, but he has — had — a family, and a girlfriend he was fucking sickening with, and he had a future. That future is gone!”

Why is the edge of the room spiraling? The shadows twist and twist, edging closer to us, circling around River and threatening to drag him away from me.

“I don’t think he’s a loser,” I say desperately. “I didn’t know him. But I do understand what it’s like to lose a friend, River, you know I do. So I don’t get why you’re being such a dick to me now.”

“I’m being…” He scoffs at me. “I’m being a dick? Oh, Pandora, you’ve seen me being a dick before. This isn’t it.”

I tilt my head, and a cold shadow creeps into my ear. “I guess that was when you called me a crazy whore, right?”

Why did I say that?

I didn’t want to say that.