Page 62 of Right Side of Paradise

Not the Same

I could ignore this call. A part of me wanted to.

It felt justified and like I’d at least have the ball in my court.

But another part of me—the part that was about to win—was just happy she wanted to be the first to tell me happy birthday.

Regardless of how she dipped out of town after her birthday two weeks ago, I wanted to see her.

Pulling in a breath, I swiped the phone, accepting the FaceTime invitation. I didn’t exhale while I waited for her dimpled smile to fill my screen.

“Happy birthday, Soul!” Her voice cut in and out, but her camera was steady as she stared at me expectantly.

Pressing my back against my headboard, I sat up and let my face relax into an almost smile. “Thanks, Harley baby.”

“Was I the first to tell you?” She spoke hurriedly, her head now moving in and out of the frame.

I heard footsteps.

The echo of a stairwell.

Then Harlow’s grunt as she pushed open a door and stepped onto the street.

“Still not fucking with elevators?”

“Not alone, ” she confirmed before muffled voices joined hers on the street.

Last year when she was visiting Miami, she got stuck in an elevator for two hours by herself. Since then, she took the stairs. It didn’t matter if it was ten flights or two.

People continued to shuffle past her on the sidewalk until she stopped walking and pressed her back against a building, mirroring my posture. “So, was I your first?”

Her voice hitched and her warm gaze examined my face.

“You were my first, Harley baby.”

Just as I thanked her, a banner notification from Rico popped up over her head.

Rico:

Happy birthday, Soul. Drinks on me later, love you

Car horns blared in Harlow’s background and the sun shone brightly behind her phone, illuminating her pretty sun-kissed complexion.

Wherever she was, it was the middle of the day, and looking out my bedroom window at the midnight sky reminded me of how easy it was for her to put distance between us.

“What are you doing today?”

“No plans,” I said around the agitating emotion lumping in my throat.

She blinked at my short reply and tilted her head with a shaky smile. “What? You can’t have ‘no plans’ on your birthday, Soul. You’re finally twenty-one.”

“Where are you right now?”

“Thailand,” she answered, looking relieved I was picking up the conversation. “I’m in Chiang Mai right now but I'm going to Koh Kood in a couple days. The beaches are supposed to be gorgeous there.”

“We got beaches here,” I said drily.

“Soul, it’s not the same,” she laughed. “You know that.”

“I get that you like to travel, but it seems like you couldn’t wait to get off this island after your birthday.”

“Sou—” She couldn’t finish my name before her phone fell, and her screen went black. I heard muffled Thai through the speaker and Harlow answering back. I didn’t know what they said, but that distance I felt earlier was starting to feel more and more like a void.

A beat later, her face came back into view, her hair wild and her smile still brittle. “Sorry about that. What were you saying?”

“Nothing, I’ll let you go.”

“Soul, I don’t wanna go. I called you because I want to talk.”

She stared at me, her eyes rounded with something I wasn’t willing to call regret. She wasn’t sorry that I was upset. She just didn’t know what to do when I was the one putting up resistance. “You know what? I shouldn’t have answered the phone. I’m not in the mood to talk right now.”

“Soul, please.”

“Have a good day, Harley. Enjoy your beaches.”

“Don’t hang up!” she pleaded when my thumb was already hovering over the red button to end the call.

“What you want?”

“You’re mad at me for traveling?”

“I’m mad at you for leaving . Those are two different things.”

“I bought these tickets months ago…I didn’t…what can I do to fix it?” One sentence bled into another. And her face went through five different stages of heartache as she stared at me, refusing to blink.

“You can’t do nothing for me in Thailand, Harley.” I shook my head. I hated this. Out of everybody in our group, Harlow and I never had friction. But I was in my head too much right now. Had been since she left. I didn’t want to feel like this.

I knew what Rico made us promise that night. I needed to hang up. “I’m a just go. I’ll call you when I feel like talking.”

“Soul.”

I cut the call.