Page 33

Chapter Twenty

S he’d stared at the note for an entire hour and still couldn’t quite bring herself to descend the stairs and join Luxuros for dinner.

The letters blended into two long black lines, slipping off the page and melting onto the desk beneath her lantern’s heat as she hid in her bedroom.

The card burned under her fingertips. It was a curt note. A warning, really. Three maidens had already knocked on her door to inform her dinner was waiting and when the fourth knocked, she lost her hold on herself.

She rose from the desk and yanked the brass handle inward. “I said I’d be down in a minute,” she sighed into a leather-bound chest much taller than she expected.

Luxuros, in all his bruises and bloodstains, stared down at her.

“There’s something you need to look at,” he grumbled, turning quickly and taking the stairs two at a time.

She followed him into the study off the second landing, the floor littered with books and documents they’d taken from the temple.

He pointed to the leather tome in the center of the desk, a linen bandage wrapped neatly around each forearm. Elegant script ran across the pages, the midnight-black ink bleeding out in a few spots.

“Shadow Bargaining,” she read aloud. Luxuros wound his finger in the air to keep reading.

As she read, he set a cup of black coffee beside her.

“The dark art of bargaining one’s Shadow should only be attempted in dire circumstances.

The Court Below does not dabble in casual whims or indulge changed minds.

To trade one’s Shadow is to make an eternal commitment—what is this? ”

“Skip to the next page,” the commander said over the rim of his own cup.

“Once the trade is complete, the Shadow remains in the possession of the Nether Queen, granting the bargainer access to her dark magic in direct proportion to the weight of the Shadow offered. Though difficult to trace, the bargainer should be aware of certain after-effects that, to a trained eye, may reveal their trade. An aversion to light, for example, or even to the more sensitive of the realms, an unnaturally cold signature or dark aura may be detectable.”

Luxuros leaned against the table, sipping his coffee.

“A few weeks ago we heard Selenia was spotted in the Mercurian Bazaar. It’s not uncommon for Ascended gods and goddesses to appear in the Living Courts—we assumed it was meant to be a blessing after the engagement.

The two women she spoke to at a stall both mentioned that Lunarians were much more frigid than they expected, based on the rumors.

You are noticeably colder than Ameera or other courtiers, but I wouldn’t describe you as frigid. ”

“Imagine how much easier your life would be,” Astra said, flashing whispers of fire from her fingertips before reaching for her coffee.

He chuckled, pointing to another stack of papers. “Ivonne was studying this. She has pages of notes—I haven’t gotten through even half of what Ameera took, but she seems certain your grandmother bargained her Shadow.”

“To give up your Shadow…” Astra inhaled, shoving down the unease in her bones.

It was a dark trade, indeed. “She’d never be able to reconcile her Soul and Shadow in the Court Below.

She’d be doomed to spend eternity there instead of Ascending again.

What could possibly be worth something like that to the Lunar Goddess? ”

The Ascension journey took the bravest of Souls decades on their first go-around—a century or two. Some never even attempted. Astra shivered. To damn oneself to the Court Below for eternity was not a lighthearted decision.

Luxuros considered this. “But if she stayed in the Court Above for the rest of her existence… the risk that someone could kill her as an Ascended goddess is quite low. Maybe she figured it wouldn’t be an issue.”

Astra arched her ruby brow. “To kill a goddess, especially in the Court Above, is difficult, but not impossible. It’s not as if the rivalry between courts ends at the Eternal Gate. Maybe the power she exchanged it for would help her avoid the consequences?”

“You can only outrun your choices for so long,” the commander said, leafing through Ivonne’s notes.

“I’ve noticed her aura before,” Astra said, thinking back to the last time she was in the same room as Selenia—it was a rare occurrence but she attended some of the more significant events. “I just assumed it was part of her emotional disposition. But it was there.”

Luxuros tilted his head. “Do you typically see auras?”

“No, not necessarily. I see colors I’ve learned to correlate with emotions.

The Solstice. I knew you were behind the hedges because of the shitstorm happening in your heart.

Whatever you did to tuck it all away was impressive, but I still caught it.

All that midnight-black torment… it was a lot to carry, Commander. ”

Luxuros stared at her for a moment, fighting a war within himself that manifested in something halfway to a frown. He chose to avoid himself as a conversation topic.

“How likely do you think it is that Selenia traded her Shadow?”

“I can’t say for certain. I did not know her well, but that leaves everything on the table at this point. Ivonne said something about me being just another in a long line of traitors. Daria implied the same. Whatever Selenia did, whatever my mother knows—it can’t be good.”

“Anything that requires more power than an Ascended goddess already concerns me. You should finish that.” Luxuros said, gesturing to her coffee. “I think we’re in for a long night.”

Astra rolled her eyes. “Yes, Commander.” She sat back into a squeaky ancient chair, sipping the coffee as she pondered what her grandmother might have been capable of, all too aware of Luxuros’s stare resting on her.

“So you are capable of taking orders,” he mused.

“When they bring me pleasure, sure.” She enjoyed the sizzling heat that rose to his cheeks as she winked.

He cleared his throat, pointing back at the open book as his fingers pushed at the muscles in his chest.

“We need to figure out the common thread between all of this—the Rift, the Shadow, the novel Ehlaria gave you. It all has to connect somewhere.”

Astra agreed. “We should visit Ehlaria when we’re back.”

“Do you think she’ll share more?”

“Ehlaria always knows more than she lets on. I need to read that book first.”

“Fair enough. I owe her a visit, anyway.”

Astra crossed one leg over the other, pursing her lips.

“Intriguing, Commander.”

“Just checking in on some old friends,” he said. He studied the pages of the book for a long moment before asking the question she’d felt perched on his lips all evening. “Did she at least write a good apology?”

“Who?”

“Daria,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving the book’s pale pages.

“And why would you care?” Astra rose from her chair, leaning against the table beside him.

The commander shrugged. “You’re to be my queen. It’s pertinent that I know who your enemies are.” He turned the page, his calculated casualness flickering under the weight of her stare.

“There was no apology at all, actually.”

“Bold choice,” he scoffed.

“She was warning me,” Astra said, leaning closer toward him, the heat from his skin buzzing in the space between their hands. “About you.”

His shoulders tensed, something flashing across his eyes—maybe anger, maybe fear, it was always impossible to tell with him.

“What about me?”

“She suspects you to be a spy,” Astra said, choosing her words carefully.

His lips twitched and he turned toward her, holding the embers in her eyes. “A spy?”

“For the Solar Court.”

Luxuros did not flinch like she thought he might. Instead, he blinked slowly. The corner of his mouth slipped upward into an amused grin.

“What’s funny?” Astra asked, sinking back into herself.

He broke into a deep laugh, the sound bouncing off her shoulders as he closed his eyes.

“She remarked how warm I was after all that hatchling nonsense. If she’d ever met a full-blooded Solarian she’d know just how wrong she is.

” He shook his head, seeing the concern in Astra’s eyes.

“We’ve gone over this, As. I’m not lying to you.

I may have Solarian blood but I’ve no Solarian loyalty.

I’ve never met a Solar courtier, certainly not the king. ”

“That you know of,” Astra corrected him. “What if you were a Solarian spy and have no memory of it? You go on and on about my lack of discipline, but what about your fear of who you might be, Commander? You’re so afraid to touch any of it, you don’t know where your loyalties may truly lie.”

He moved closer, an anger she seldom saw rising in him as he prepared to argue with her, but the damned truth of it all was that she was right.

Devastatingly so.

“You really remember nothing?”

Luxuros tried to turn his attention back to the book, but she was so close he could smell the moonblossom petal scent of her perfume. Something about it disarmed his ironclad will as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

“I’m overstepping. I apologize.”

“No,” he said. “It’s okay. You have every right to be concerned.

I realize we’re asking a lot of you to just take me at my word.

I am sincere when I say I have nearly no memories, Astra.

Sometimes I dream of a library in Solaris, I think.

Everything is so warm and brightly lit it couldn’t be anywhere else.

I’m usually playing a marble game of sorts, with these little glass orbs that clink together when they cross paths.

That’s one of the good memories.” Luxuros paused, closing his amber eyes to try and recall things he’d worked hard to erase.