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Chapter Nineteen

A meera drew in a sharp breath as they broke through the underground door to the surface just a block from the Crescent Manor.

“She almost made it twenty-four hours without showing her ass. I’m impressed,” she said, graciously waiting until they were out of rebel earshot to start her attack.

“She’s a fool, Ameera. That’s never been up for debate.”

“Well, we should stay out of her way. She’ll be miserable to deal with.” She slipped the bag off her shoulder and offered it to Astra. “Are you sure you’ll be okay tonight?”

“Of course. You deserve some fun,” Astra said, her eyes searching the street. “Be safe.”

“I’ll see you back home.” Ameera skipped off toward the treeline of the city’s center park, disappearing on a path toward the temple.

Astra should have crossed the street and gone straight back to the manor, but she wasn’t ready to bury her head in books for the rest of the night.

Ellume certainly wasn’t the city it once was, but it still had much more to offer than the palace.

“Tavern?” she asked as the commander’s mashed eyes squinted against the lamplights. “You look like you could use a drink, Commander.”

She didn’t wait for him to agree, but he followed her dutifully down the street and around the corner, into a dark tavern with a moonblossom carved into the door.

The woman behind the bar looked surprised to see them and Astra worried she recognized her as part of the royal family, but a glance at Luxuros solved the mystery.

He was easily a head taller than anyone else in the room, and just about every angle of his face looked as if it had been mashed against the cobblestones outside. Many, many times. Astra pushed him toward a corner booth, stepping up to the bar.

“Two moonshines and can I get water and a clean rag? Oh! And two bowls of whatever that is,” she chirped, pointing toward a pot heating behind her. Whatever it was smelled plenty good enough for dinner. “Thank you.”

The bartender’s nerves flared in copper sparks as Astra took two steins of moonshine back to the booth, setting one in front of the commander, who looked about as ravaged as her bones felt. She returned to the bar and snagged the bowl of water and clean rag she’d asked for.

Luxuros held up a hand. “I’m fine?—”

“Shh,” Astra dismissed him. “This isn’t out of the kindness of my heart. The bartender’s ribs are going to crack from anxiety due to the bloody warrior brooding in the corner. Bad for business.”

She dabbed at the split in his eyebrow, the blood making it look much worse than the shallow cut was, thankfully. She moved on to a larger gash below his cheek, and then to his lip, his jaw tensing under her grasp.

“The hatchling scratches will have to be medicated. You don’t want an infection from those little fuckers. The maidens will have something back at the manor, I’m sure.”

Astra slid into the booth across from him as two bowls of stew appeared, the bartender’s eyes widening at the sight of the bloodied rag on the tabletop. As she turned around, Astra let the heat in her fingers sear, sending a spark to the edge of the cloth and incinerating it as Luxuros watched.

He did not say anything as the ashes crumbled to the floor.

Instead, he focused his attention on the bowl.

Astra tried to do the same, but the volume rose as dozens of frayed souls poured in after a long day’s work.

Reds and oranges and yellows flickered as they decompressed, drowning her lungs and twisting her stomach.

“Breathe,” the commander said around a bite of stew, his eyes still glued to the bowl.

“I’m trying,” she insisted, swallowing against the bile rising in her throat.

“You’re panicking,” Luxuros said, setting his spoon against the rim of the bowl.

“I’m not panicking. I’m… sifting. Organizing.” She tried to tuck all the colors in the right boxes in her mind—exhausted purples in one, irritated reds in another—but they kept slipping away from her.

“Don’t waste your energy on trying to process it all, Astra. The energy shifts too frequently. You need to find you in the noise and hold onto it.”

Astra ignored him, the seeping colors running down her back and leaving burns as she shook her leg against the booth.

“Where’s your favorite place?”

“Hmm?” Astra squeezed her eyes shut, hanging her head over the table.

“As.” The commander gripped her wrist, freezing her fingers as they tapped the nervous energy into the wood. “When you lived in Celene, where did you go to relax?”

She stilled her knee. Celene’s hot springs steamed to life in her mind.

Crystal blue waters bubbled under stars, sliding over the rocks into endless pools below.

She let the smoky steam fill her lungs and the salty brine cling to her lips.

Serene emeralds and lavenders swirled around her shoulders, forcing them to relax.

The nausea subsided. She could open her eyes without feeling the need to avert her gaze from the colors hovering over the heads of the patrons. She could see them without absorbing them; acknowledge them without inhaling.

Her lungs unfurled.

“Better?” Luxuros pulled his hand away, leaving five hot fingerprints branded around her wrist. She nodded, picking up her spoon and eating a few cautious bites.

She let the stew warm her, making an effort to breathe slowly through her nose with each new wave of drinkers.

Halfway through her bowl, she felt brave enough to wash it down with some moonshine, numbing her chest even more.

Luxuros felt her eyes on him before he met her gaze.

“Go ahead,” he muttered. “Ask me.”

“What did Daria say?”

“It’s not worth repeating,” he sighed, his amber eyes flickering between her curious face and the moonshine remaining in his stein.

“If it was worth getting socked in the nose?—”

“It was her elbow.”

Astra grimaced. “Even worse. If it’s worth that, it must be worth repeating.”

Luxuros breathed in deeply, finishing the moonshine in his cup before he spoke, weighing his words carefully.

“Daria implied that allowing you to marry Mirquios would be too much of a risk to the mission. She believes that in your heart you are your mother’s daughter, and you’ll always choose the crown. She seemed to think that your family has a history of putting the throne before even each other.”

Ivonne’s words from earlier struck Astra again. They twisted even deeper into her spine now.

“She told me it was my duty to the Nova Rebellion to put an end to your engagement.”

Astra flinched, the pain striking her just below her ribs. “Well? You’ve said as much, haven’t you?”

The commander frowned. “Anything I’ve said to you was expressly to motivate you, Astra.

You’re capable of stunning amounts of power, and you’ve been kept in the dark your entire life.

It was obvious from the moment we met. I do worry about your discipline, but it’s not because I think you’re a hopeless danger.

I think you’re just a little hard work away from great potential.

If I didn’t believe in you, we would have picked Lunelle when your mother—when…

” Luxuros scratched at the back of his neck.

“What?” Astra set her spoon down.

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean?—”

“Yes. You did. When my mother what , Commander?”

“I misspoke. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“And yet you did, so please, enlighten me, Luxuros.” She swallowed, her head swirling again, the careful grip she’d held through dinner vanishing.

“Oestera is not always the villain you believe her to be. I meant what I said to Daria yesterday. She knows the danger lurking in every court, gods, even her own! Mirquios can offer you the safety you need, but that wasn’t the only reason we agreed to come here, okay?

We need you, too. The cause needs you, Astra.

When your mother invited us to come, there was zero hesitation on our part because we knew what an addition you would be to our court.

We never dreamed that you’d Tether… that was…

it was a happy accident, of course. And a sign we made the right choice. ”

Heat rose to Astra’s cheeks. “So all of this, this whole time, it was just a plot with Oestera to get me on your side? Was Mars even a factor, or was that yet another manipulation?”

Luxuros held up his hands, begging for her mind to slow down.

“It was all your choice, As. Oestera didn’t want to force you.

No one was trying to trick you, but she knew you’d resist Mirquios if you thought she had anything to do with him, so yes.

Yes. She pushed you toward Mars to curb your interest, but I swear to you, if you didn’t show any sign of genuine intrigue, we’d have left well enough alone. ”

Astra didn’t believe him. “Ah, yes, of course you would have. The hypothetical right choice is always easy to make.” She should have known her mother was working behind her back instead of coming to her directly with her plans.

She should have suspected it immediately. She’d never been able to outsmart Oestera, and this was no different.

“We should get home,” she whispered. She slammed back the rest of her drink and left a few gold coins on the table. As she rounded the corner, she shook her hands, letting a few errant sparks flicker against the cobblestone street before they consumed her.

“Astra!” Luxuros called from behind her, but she did not slow her pace. His long legs would catch up with her in no time, anyway. “As.”

She pulled her hood over her head, tucking her hair back into her cloak as Ellumians passed them on the street. They didn’t have far to go, but her nerves tangled as more faces entered her space with the commander at her back.

He followed her in silence, even as she scaled the steps of the Crescent Manor’s porch. Before they could enter the house, Eileen was in the doorway, eyeing every movement between them.

“A note came for you, Princess.” Astra’s head tilted. “And flowers.”

“For me?”

“From the Bloodmoon girl,” Eileen sighed. She pushed the doors open and let them pass, handing a note to Astra as she stopped before an explosion of roses in the foyer. “Commander! What happened?”

“Long story,” Luxuros said. “Astra?—”

“The commander needs something to disinfect his arms. Hatchlings got the best of him,” Astra said to Eileen as she stroked a soft petal between her thumb and finger.

“Of course. This way, Commander,” Eileen cooed.

“Roses,” Luxuros scoffed as Eileen led him down the hallway.

“What’s wrong with roses?” Astra asked, sliding her finger through the envelope she’d been handed.

“Nothing.” He shrugged. “If you liked them. Wouldn’t you have preferred moonblossoms?”

Astra felt a soft blush rise to her cheeks as he disappeared down the hallway, leaving Eileen with a magenta explosion in her ribs and Astra with a spray of roses she never would have chosen for herself.