Page 41 of Riding the Line (Steel Saints MC #1)

The following Monday, I took the day off.

Though the job had become less like work and more like taking care of my family and getting paid for it, I still felt the need to ask permission.

Mac and Dalton both gave me funny looks when I made the request, but they sent me on my way with a kiss and, in Mac’s case, a spank on the ass.

I pulled into a cute little lunch spot about an hour outside of Atlanta on my Triumph. My bike got some odd looks from a bunch of guys, which turned into judgmental ones as soon as their eyes landed on me.

I ignored them all, and I realized that once upon a time, Kaitlyn McGrady would’ve been more than a little bothered by what people thought of her. I guess Nicole was rubbing off on me. I kinda liked it.

I sat at a corner table, and ordered a sweet tea while I waited for company.

I had Luca’s phone tucked safely in my jacket pocket, and my knee bounced faster the longer I waited, my nerves getting the better of me.

About twenty minutes later, just as I went to check my phone, a hand on my shoulder made me turn.

Braxton stood over me, in jeans and a t-shirt, which was a stark contrast to his usual suit. “Afternoon, Nicole.”

I gave him a brief smile as he sat across from me.

“Your last letter left much to the imagination.”

I glanced around and slid the wrapped phone to him as subtly as possible. He glanced at it before giving me a questioning look.

“I found this. I think it’ll be everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“Is this what I think it is?”

“I took it for a test drive, if you will. It’s got all the latest games. ”

Braxton tucked the phone into his pocket as a waiter made his way over to the table. We both ordered lunch and, while we waited, I told him what I had learned about the club. As I talked, I realized that, subconsciously, I was painting the people I loved in a rosy light.

Maria, the sweetheart who took every lost soul under her wing.

Holly, the fiery loudmouth with a heart of gold.

And my boys. Dalton, the one who stayed up late helping kids with math homework. The one who loved working on the bikes, who made people laugh when they were at their lowest. And Mac. Big, gruff, and often standoffish, but on the inside, just a man with a taped-up heart.

Good people.

My people.

At some point, I realized Braxton had all but stopped paying attention to my brief. When he reached for my hand, I was startled enough that I didn’t immediately withdraw. He looked at me, an unfamiliar look in his eyes.

“I’m worried about you.”

I finally withdrew my hand. “I’m fine.”

He shook his head and reached for me again, and this time, the look I gave him was utterly baffled.

“Katie, you’re getting in too deep. I should’ve made you come home the second you landed in the hospital.

I’ve been watching you ever since, and this isn’t going to end well for you. Watching… and listening.”

I tucked my hands in my lap. “What the fuck are you talking about?” But I already knew.

Braxton was clearly becoming agitated, and our food sat in front of us, getting cold.

He leaned forward. “Do I need to elaborate? I’ve heard every breathless moan.

Every fucking word whispered in the dark.

I know what you sound like when he makes you come.

I know Dalton calls you ‘baby girl’ when he’s buried inside you.

” His eyes were practically burning holes into me.

“You are too fucking close. You’ve become her. ”

The silence between us turned sharp and electric. I couldn’t stop the cold shiver that worked its way up my spine. The way he looked at me—it wasn’t just anger or betrayal. It was something else. Something possessive. It scared the shit out of me.

“Braxton…” I started carefully, but he cut me off.

“I gave you space. I backed off. I trusted you to keep your head. But you’ve fallen so far into this role that you don’t even want to come up for air. This,” he said, patting his pocket, “will help. But, damn it, can’t you see what I am trying to say?”

I scoffed. “No, not fucking really. Who I sleep with is none of your business. Clearly, I’m still doing my job.”

He slammed his hands down on the table, and I jumped.

He was acting unhinged, and I hushed him as he began to speak, but he ignored me.

“I… I’ve come to care for you. Watching you this past year.

I know you better than they ever will. And now I have to stand by while you spread your legs for some bikers? ”

I brought my hands back to the table, clenching the silverware so hard my knuckles were white. “Excuse me? You’re my boss, but you don’t own me.”

“Oh, but they do?” He wouldn’t look at me. Finally, his eyes met mine, and he lifted his chin. “I’m just trying to keep you safe, detective.”

I blinked and then blinked again. He couldn’t be serious. Did he actually think this was justified? Maybe I was a hypocrite, but this crossed a line.

“I want a new handler.”

“You don’t mean that.”

It took everything in me not to stand up and shout.

I leaned forward and enunciated every word.

“You think I’ m kidding? You’ve been going off about how I’m too close, how I’m too attached.

It’s you! You’re the problem! And yeah, I am sleeping with a couple of bikers.

But they have names. And the job description didn’t include celibacy. ”

He glared at me. “Don’t tell me you actually have feelings for them?”

“None of your damn business.” I lifted my chin, knowing he already knew the answer to that question. “Listen, they are good men. And my love life is of no business of yours unless it interferes with my mission—which it doesn’t.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. And why I want another damn handler.”

“So, if it came down to it… a shoot-out between us and them, you would have our backs?”

“I would have the backs of the good guys. Everything I’ve seen says we’re on the same side.”

“We follow the law. They don’t.”

“They saved my fucking life, Braxton. They stopped Daniel. They brought me to the hospital. They sat by my bed. Where were you when I was bleeding out on that floor? Were you watching then? Watching as I fought to stay alive? What would you have done if he had raped me, agent?”

Raising my voice, I spat the last word and earned a few curious looks from the nearby tables.

“Katie, it’s not that simple—”

I cut him off. “It really is, though. I’m here today because they cared more about me than your damn agency.” I stood up to walk away, and Braxton stood with me, grabbing my arm and pulling me to him.

“I love you. The real you. The one that they don’t even know exists. I’ve been by your side even if you couldn’t see me for over a year. Why can’t you see what I am trying to say? ”

Yet again, I pulled myself away from him, and started to head for my bike. “I don’t mean to be a bitch, but it’s not reciprocated. Not to mention a huge conflict of interest.”

Hypocrite , a little voice whispered inside my head. But I shoved it to the side. I was ready to go, leaving my uneaten lunch on the table. “I want a new handler, Braxton. Hope the phone helps.”

I ignored his protests as he followed me, swung a leg over my bike, and rode away.

I was still fuming when I got back to the clubhouse.

Originally, I had planned on taking the whole day off, but if I went home, I knew I would do nothing but sit there and stew in my anger.

Plus, I hadn’t even had a chance to eat.

So, I busied myself in the kitchen. My mind was still racing, reeling at Braxton’s sheer audacity.

I mumbled a few choice curses. I felt stupid.

I had known that my relationship with the two brothers would have repercussions, but I’d been living in a wonderful bubble of bliss. And denial. Braxton had just popped it.

“Damn, Vixen, I think you killed it.”

I startled, turning to look at Dalton, who had walked in and was watching me.

I looked back at the tomato I had been cutting, which was eviscerated into mush.

Shit. I dropped the knife and ran my hands through my red hair, which was free of its usual braid, and gnawed on my bottom lip.

I kept my focus on the poor tomato, even though I heard him walk towards me.

He placed a gentle hand on my hip, and turned me to him.

Using his thumb, he freed my lip from between my teeth, and ran his hand along my jaw.

“What’s wrong, baby girl? I thought you were taking the day off?” Those clear blue eyes I loved searched my face, and I reluctantly looked up at him, shaking my head. He frowned and pulled me closer to him. “No ma’am, you’re not getting off that easy. Talk to me, Nicky.”

I sighed and buried my face in his shoulder, allowing his familiar scent to envelop me like a comforting blanket. He seemed to sense my need to just be held, and wrapped his arms around me.

After a few moments, he whispered, “Talk to me, Vixen. Let me help.”

“You can’t. I can’t.” I muttered the words into his jacket; it was a miracle he heard me.

He ran his hands down my back. “Why not?”

Resting my chin on his shoulder, I trapped my lip between my teeth again, worrying the sensitive skin. He took a step back, and I looked up at him.

“I want to tell you, but I can’t. Not yet. I’m sorry.”

He played with my hair, running his hands through it. I knew I would never stop enjoying the way that man touched me like he couldn’t get enough. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation even while guilt threatened to tear me apart.

I expected him to protest or push harder for answers, but instead, he simply kissed my forehead and said, “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

I opened my eyes, willing myself not to cry, and just drank in the sight of him. This would be so much easier if he was an asshole. If I didn’t love him. He and his brother both. I was so fucked.

Would they hate me?

Would they ever forgive me?