Page 26 of Riding the Line (Steel Saints MC #1)

Like kicked puppies, they finally left the room, and I watched them through a small window as they disappeared down the hallway.

I vaguely heard the doctor instruct the nurse to let him know when I was ready to go over everything else.

Then it was just me and her in the room.

She approached me slowly. Her voice was gentle and soothing.

“Oh, sweet girl. You’ve been through so much, but you don’t have to be so strong. It’s okay to cry.”

I did so, burying my head in my hands. She came up beside me, and didn’t try to touch me but said, “You woke up not even an hour ago, honey. Your body has barely had time to process the amount of pain you must be in. Then some stranger comes in and tells you how he had to cut you open to keep you from dying. And all from a man putting his hands on you when he had no business to. I’m sure you must feel overwhelmed. ”

I hesitated to admit it but somehow, it felt like she—out of all people—would understand.

“I hadn’t seen the bite marks before. I didn’t realize, I had no idea—can I ask, he didn’t…” I could barely get the damn word out, afraid of the answer. “Did he rape me?”

“No—your friends made damn sure of that.”

I bet they did. I wondered what had happened to Daniel after Mac and Dalton found me, then I realized I really didn’t care.

“I feel so fucking filthy,” I whispered.

“If you want, I can help you shower. We’ll have to be careful with your stitches. Dr. Jaques approved some pain relief. Would you like to wait for that before then? Otherwise, I won’t lie, it’s not going to feel good.”

“No, I don’t want to wait. Please, just help me get up.”

I had never felt so weak. It took me approximately ten years just to stand, and even then, I leaned heavily on her. She took my weight like a champ. The bathroom looked miles away. Step by agonizing step, we shuffled our way there.

“I’m Nurse Humphrey, by the way. But you can call me Stella—all my friends do.”

I smiled at her as best I could through the haze of pain that I was beginning to realize was going to be my new normal for a while. My legs shook. My breath came fast. My head swam. I zeroed in on the far wall, trying to think of anything but the pain.

When we finally got to the bathroom, a thin sheen of sweat coated my body, and I was panting.

It made my abdomen hurt, so I found myself whimpering in between the wheezing for breath.

Stella murmured reassuring words, and I didn’t give a damn as she helped me undress.

I was sure she had seen much worse in her years as a trauma nurse than my naked body.

I was grateful for the thin hospital gown, not even wanting to think about how hard it would be to remove actual clothes.

Stella was an angel, her touch feather-light as she helped me in the shower.

She was right—the shower was anything but comfortable.

But I felt infinitely better, washing the last remnants of that asshole down the drain.

I sat in the little white chair as she made me feel a bit more whole.

When she helped me back into bed, she gave me a glass of water and some white pills that I hoped were the strongest painkiller this side of the moon.

“I’ll have someone from the cafeteria bring you something to eat. Just something light, some broth. If you can keep that down and want more, just let me know. But you need to eat something with that medicine I just gave you—otherwise you’ll be tasting colors.”

I smiled at her. “I think I love you.”

She patted my knee, tucking me into bed. Stella had pulled out all the stops to make me comfortable, even braiding my wet hair. “Would you like me to send your friends in? ”

I nodded. “Please.”

I lay back against the pillows, closing my eyes.

That was the most exhausting shower of my life.

A piercing shriek broke the silence, and my eyes flew open just as Maria all but skidded to a stop next to my bed.

She reached for me before hugging herself, realizing that touching me might not be the best idea.

Her hands twitched like she itched to hug me.

Holly was right behind her, a rare smile on her face.

Maria bounced on her toes. “Oh, I want to hug you so damn bad, girl!”

I grinned at her. “I appreciate it, but please don’t. You may actually finish me off.”

Her face fell, and she shook her head. “No, hermana , no death jokes from you for a long while. My heart can’t take it.”

Holly sat on the bed at my feet. “You scared the shit out of all of us, Nicky.”

“Maybe next time I should set the dude on fire, and not the bike.”

Holly smiled at me. “Now there’s an idea.”

Maria dragged the chair Mac had been sitting in closer to me. “How are you holding up?”

I gave her a shaky smile. “It’s hit or miss, not gonna lie. One second I’m fine; the next, I am an absolute fucking mess. Plus, a doctor was digging around in my stomach and took a souvenir, so… yeah.”

“You almost died. I would wheel you down to the psychiatric ward if you weren’t kinda messed up in the head for a bit,” she replied.

“If it helps, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that you have those two boys wrapped around your pretty little finger. They spent almost every hour right next to you. The doctors and nurses all but dragged them out at the end of the night,” Holly added.

I was about to ask them if they knew what happened to Daniel, but there was a knock on the door. I fought to keep the shock off my face when I looked up and saw Agent Braxton in a white doctor’s coat. Agent Williams stood beside him, dressed like the world’s grumpiest nurse.

“Excuse me, ladies, but we need to run some more tests on the patient.” Braxton lied with practiced ease, and he smiled at Holly and Maria as they assured me they would be back later, before leaving the room.

As soon as they were gone, Braxton’s smile disappeared. Williams shut the door and closed all the blinds. Braxton came up beside the bed and made a show out of looking over the monitor, and I hated that I couldn’t do much more than lie there. Finally, he broke the heavy silence.

“What the fuck are you doing, McGrady?”

I blinked at him. “Excuse me?” I had expected condolences. Sympathy. Reassurance. Being admonished hadn’t even crossed my mind, and his tone raised my hackles.

“You’ve been on the assignment for a little over eight months.

So far, and correct me if I’m wrong, you’ve been treating it like a fucking vacation.

Going shopping with your new girlfriends, doing God knows what with your new boy toys, and strutting around the damn clubhouse like you own the place. Yet, you’ve given us fucking nothing.”

His words were all venom and ice. I felt the tendrils of rage curl in my gut, and it took conscious effort to keep my voice even. “A vacation? Are you fucking serious? Have you lost your fucking mind? Do you not see where we are at?”

His eyes flashed, and we glared at each other.

“Williams, meet me at the car,” he said.

She had been watching the whole exchange with rapt attention, and her eyes jerked to him in shock. “Sir?”

He didn’t look at her. “The car. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”

She scoffed in disbelief and stomped out, slamming the door behind her.

Braxton leaned over me, and I once more cursed the fact that I couldn’t move. “What are you doing with the Mills brothers?”

I raised my chin. “Nothing.” My voice was calm as the lie left my lips—I was embracing my inner Nicky.

“I thought we put you under to gather intel on the DiAngelos.”

“You did, and I am. I am telling you everything I know, but it was you who told me this wasn’t going to be a quick and easy job.”

“You are getting awful close with Ms. Gonzalez and Ms. Morgan.”

“They’re good people.”

“Have you forgotten why you’re here?”

“Is this an interrogation?”

“Should it be?”

“Fuck you. I’m giving everything I’ve got to this assignment. You’ve got more details about the Steel Saints and Silas Greyson than you’ve ever had before. The Saints aren’t the way into the DiAngelos family—Silas Greyson is. I’ve made that clear in every report I’ve given you.”

“Remember who you’re speaking to, detective. I am your handler; this is my job. You’re getting too close to the Saints. I’m pulling you out.”

I stared at him. “Like hell you are! I’m already in it this far, and I’m not stopping until the job is done.”

“Can I trust you to keep your distance?”

“Of course.”

He finally paused, still leaning over me. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but that was more of a Nicole move than it was something Katie would do. He startled me when he laid his hand on mine. “I’ve been watching you closely, Katie. You’re getting in pretty deep. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I pulled my hand out from under his. “I am literally in a hospital, Agent Braxton. But I signed up for this. I knew there were risks. I’m fine—or I will be. You don’t need to worry about me. You trained me for this, remember?”

A glimmer of displeasure crossed his face when I pulled away from him. “You are not Nicole. Remember that.”

I couldn’t help but defend my alter-ego. “Nicole isn’t a bad person. She’s a lot like me. That’s why you chose me for this job. Like Lieutenant Hartwell said all those months ago, she and I aren’t much different.”

“I want you to double your reports, and remember, I’m always nearby. You got one more chance at this. You end up at the hospital again, you’re done. And stay away from the Mills brothers.”

I glared at him—the only thing stopping me from hitting him with the IV pole was my inability to lift it. Hell, if I could’ve made it to the bathroom without assistance, I might’ve decked him with the call button just for fun.

“Are handlers usually this hands-on? I thought there was supposed to be a certain level of trust.”

He didn’t answer me when he opened the door, but he turned to me just as he went to shut it back behind him. “Caring about the detective under my command isn’t a crime. Get some rest, McGrady.”