Page 9 of Revenant (Spirit Realm #2)
RUE
I follow Jaceson down an unfamiliar hallway, then another, everything so generic that it blends together in my head. I would like to think I have a good sense of direction, but I never went anywhere to have it tested.
For the first eighteen years of my life, I was confined to my house, most of the time too fearful to even venture out of my bedroom…not that my caution saved me from frequent punishment. The last three months have shown me that being afraid gets me nowhere.
If I want to live, then I can’t afford to hesitate out of fear.
That includes the guys.
When Jaceson stops next to an ordinary wall and knocks, I peer at him critically, worried what else they might have done to him when I wasn’t there to protect him. No one knows better than me that even a short stay in an asylum can drive a person crazy. “Just how long were you waiting for me here?”
I’m uncertain if I want to know his answer. It kills me that the guys have no sense of self-preservation when it comes to me, each of them willing to sacrifice anything for my safety.
Just as he turns to look at me, a hidden panel in the door pops open. I don’t have time to react before a hand reaches out, grabs my wrist, and drags me inside the wall. Just as I twist my arm to break free, I glance up, then freeze. “Gunner?”
In the next second, I find myself wrapped up in his arms. I don’t fight him, just lean against his chest and enjoy the scent of man, body wash, and a trace of grease that is him. The contact calms my turbulent emotions, and I sigh before wrapping my arms around him in turn, then peer up at him.
His massive size is intimidating, especially to those who don’t know him. He radiates menace, his scowl making him appear even more like a grumpy bear who would be more likely to rip off your face than smile.
I fucking missed that smile.
I missed him.
I didn’t allow myself to feel how much until now.
Unfortunately, I’m now even more anxious that they were stupid enough to come after me. This place is dangerous in a way that every breath feels like it might be your last. “What are you doing?”
I glance over my shoulder to see Jaceson pushing the door shut with a click. The narrow room isn’t a room at all but a tunnel that doesn’t look like anyone has used it for over a hundred years. Dust and dirt are so thick, it coats my lungs with each breath, the darkness so absolute beyond the circle of light that I clutch Gunner closer for fear it will snatch him away.
“We are in the old mining tunnels under the asylum.” Gunner reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, his shoulders almost broad enough to hold back the darkness. “They repurposed the tunnels for privacy purposes, using them when the front entrance was too public.”
I easily read between the lines.
It’s where they dragged the patients who protested being admitted.
Or where they would haul out their dead. “What about?—”
“The guards are distracted by the shift change. We only have a few minutes.” Jaceson doesn’t hesitate to step behind me and plaster himself to my back.
Warmth flushes my whole body at being sandwiched between the two of them, and I allow myself to relax between their hard bodies. It should be awkward after so much time apart, but being with them is like finding the missing pieces of my soul.
Much sooner than I’m ready, Gunner releases his hold, and Jaceson steps back. They don’t go far. It’s the only reason why I’m able to release them, rather than clinging to them like I so desperately want. “I’ve already alerted the guys that we found you. I’m going to meet with them tonight and work out a plan to slip both of you out of here as soon as possible.”
“We can’t just leave now?” I gaze at the darkness, battling against the instinct to escape before it’s too late.
But Gunner is already shaking his head. “We would be caught before we left the compound. There are too many guards, too many cameras. We can’t take the risk.”
Something about the tense set of his shoulders, the grim lines on his face, warns me that he isn’t telling me the full story. My suspicions are proven correct when Gunner meets Jaceson’s gaze over my head.
I don’t bother asking what’s wrong—we’re in an asylum, the answer is obvious. I suspect Gunner isn’t completely aware of the experiments they conduct here, or he would never leave without me.
“Just sit tight and don’t do anything stupid.” Gunner glowers at us, and I’m unsure if he’s talking more to me or Jaceson.
When he takes a step back, I automatically follow before I stop myself. Jaceson reaches out, his hand encircling my wrists almost too tightly, like he fears I might slip away. While I’m distracted, Gunner hits a button over the door. It pops open with a silent click of the latch. He checks the hallway, then shoves us out, as if afraid he won’t be able to let me go if he doesn’t do it now.
The passageway closes between us, and my anxiety skyrockets at the thought of being separated again, my chest tightening as I struggle not to have a total meltdown. I stare blankly at the door for a moment longer, doing my best not to claw it open and follow him, terrified something will happen to him.
How am I supposed to keep them safe if they aren’t with me?
Part of me wants to beg them to run now, just leave me, but I suspect if I even suggest it, I would already be tossed over Gunner’s shoulder and gone.
That they don’t just do it means this plan of his is dangerous.
I can’t get over the suspicion that something will happen if I’m not there to protect him. I want to send the ghosts after him, even reach for the refreshing cool air I associate with the afterlife, but it’s pointless. No ghost can travel that far without fading out of existence. I know…I’ve tried to send more than one after the guys.
I just wanted to check on them.
Make sure they were okay.
The bitter cold around me should burn my lungs, my body should seize as I absorb more and more of the afterlife into my system, but I relax into the pain. The nothingness is a comfort, and I curl my hands into fists to keep from reaching for more, craving the escape.
Somehow, I don’t think it’s a good thing that the cool air feels more invigorating with each visit. It’s a crutch, a place where I can hide away from the pain of this world. Jaceson places a comforting hand around my waist, and the cold sting of the afterlife still clinging to me, much like brambles, finally releases its hold and fades.
“Come.” He tugs me away from the doorway, and I follow blindly. It’s not until he opens the door to my room that I snap out of my downward spiral.
“Hey,” Jaceson murmurs, cupping my face so I can’t focus on anything but him. “He’s going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of this. We just need to keep our heads down until he returns.”
He is so confident, so sure of himself, that I narrow my eyes. It’s almost like he knows something I don’t. “Keeping secrets?” I raise an imperious brow and pull away.
Secrets almost destroyed us once.
I fear we won’t survive it a second time.
I cross my arms as he prowls through the room they assigned me, purposely not looking at me. “Jaceson?”
He purses his lips, like he’s waffling on what to say.
Thinking of lies?
Just the thought of that hurts.
As if he can sense me pulling away, he stalks toward me like he could physically stop it. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
But he grimaces even as he says it.
He’s so good at hiding his emotions that it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. Before I was taken, I swore I could read him. Now, it’s like looking at a stranger, and I don’t like it. I want my Jaceson back, but I’m starting to wonder if he ever existed anywhere else but in my mind.
A thread of suspicion winds its way around me tighter and tighter. “Why are you here?”
“First, you should know each of us wanted to be the one to come for you. Gunner and I were sent because we were the most qualified for the job.”
I tighten my arms around myself, more than a little confused. “Job?”
Jaceson huffs out a breath, then threads his hands through his hair and drags the strands away from his face, suddenly finding the floor exciting. When he drops his hands on his hips, a determined expression hardens his face, and he glances at me again. “We haven’t known each other long, and you waited to tell us your secrets until you thought we were in danger.”
My cheeks warm, and I struggle not to get defensive.
Fuck that.
Shaking off the feeling, I lift my chin, refusing to feel bad for protecting myself. I have been abused long enough. I won’t allow it to continue, especially now that I have the means to make it stop. Before I can defend myself, Jaceson nearly stumbles over himself to speak.
“We understand why. You have every right to protect yourself.” He holds up his hands as if trying to hold off my explosion, his eyes so earnest that it tempers my anger. Then his shoulders slump, and he scrubs the back of his head, muttering to himself more than me. “Fuck. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you anything. Either Jameson or Hicks would be better—both can explain this shit without making a mess of things.”
“Explain what?” I’m more baffled than worried at this point, relieved the guys don’t hold my secrets against me. It was a risk sharing my abilities with them. I’m still not sure if it was worth it yet. Only time will tell.
Jaceson stops pacing, coming to stand in front of me with only a few feet separating us. He draws back his shoulders, then lifts his chin and stares me straight in the eyes. “We have our own secrets.”
I’m so distracted by the white specs in his blue eyes that I almost don’t hear him.
Almost.
“What secrets?” A pit grows in my stomach, and I brace myself for the worst.
“You asked why we came to rescue you?” A mask descends over his face, one he uses to keep the rest of the world at bay. Despite any misgivings I might have about their secrets, I hate that he feels he must protect himself from me. “The guys and I have unique skills we use to protect ourselves. You’re one of us now. You deserve the truth.”
My brows scrunch up in confusion, and I can’t take the suspense anymore. “I don’t understand. Are you part of the mafia or something?”
A tiny smile quirks the corner of his lips, amusement dancing in his eyes for a second before it fades. “Nothing so dramatic. We mostly just do small jobs to protect ourselves. Liberate a few stolen objects from crooks. A bit of corporate espionage against some not so good people. That type of thing.”
He shrugs, and I can only gape at him. Part of me is shocked, but it also explains so much about the guys. How people are so deferential to them. Their comfort with money. Why they have no fear of anything. No wonder they were so suspicious of me when we first met—they could probably smell my lies from a mile off.
Jaceson shifts uncomfortably at my silence, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels. “Hicks is our leader and investment guy. Ellis is our computer genius. He usually finds us the jobs and helps us plan them. Gunner is our enforcer. Jameson is our charmer. I’m the…” A hint of a blush darkens his cheeks, and he clears his throat awkwardly. “Spy and thief. There isn’t a building or lock that can keep me out.”
Their roles are so clear in my mind that I can’t believe I didn’t guess the truth sooner. I mentally dissect every interaction with them and suddenly feel foolish. “Was it some sort of game to befriend me? The innocent, na?ve girl next door? To what end?”
My throat thickens at the thought of everything between us being a lie, and speech fails me.
“What?!” Jaceson stumbles back as if I struck him. “Of course not.”
But I don’t miss the shadows darkening his eyes. It’s like my soul is slowly unraveling, numbness creeping over me until I feel nothing but cold. “I think you should leave.”
He grimaces, his expression twisting with remorse. He takes a step toward me, reaching out to touch me, and my powers explode out of me in a burst of bitterly cold wind. Jaceson flies out the door with enough force that he hits the wall with a brutal thump.
He almost lands on his ass, barely managing to stumble to his feet at the last second, then he straightens with a determined expression. “It’s not what you think.”
Just as he takes a step toward the door, it slams shut with a resounding thud that feels permanent. I don’t move as I try to figure out how my life got so fucking complicated. Where did I go wrong? I was supposed to be free, living my best life.
So how did I land in this hellish nightmare?