Page 16 of Revenant (Spirit Realm #2)
RUE
F ierce determination burns in his green eyes until they look like they’re lit from within by the sheer force of his will alone, and my breath catches at his bold declaration. It’s almost like he cares, but I would be a fool to trust him again. Right?
He’s too near, his spicy cologne mixed with his masculine scent is intoxicating, and the sheer force of his personality is befuddling my brain. Focusing on my task allows me a bit of breathing room, but being near all five of the guys again is overwhelming.
How can they appear even bigger and stronger than in my memories? They look leaner, their bodies meaner, the angles of their faces sharper, like they were shorn down to their most primal selves—beasts on the prowl and searching for a fight.
I thought I built them up in my mind.
If anything, I didn’t do them justice.
The boys I remember are now savage men, and damn if my hands don’t twitch with the need to touch them. The chill that has infected me since I was taken thaws slightly at their nearness, and my mouth waters with a near irresistible craving to taste them.
Claim them.
A visceral part of me wants to mark them so everyone will know that they’re mine, and I’m a little taken aback by the violent emotion. Sure, I’ve lived with violence my whole life. I don’t fear pain or blood, mine or others. I don’t even flinch at the sound of bones breaking, even if they are my own.
And yet, something about seeing the guys hurt threatens my sanity far more than any ghosts.
I mentally battle to keep focused on removing the cursed bindings holding them prisoner, not touching them to make sure they are real and not a figment of my imagination. I hate to admit it, but after months of being drugged, months of being denied even the simplest kindness, denied any touch that doesn’t bring pain, I’m struggling to tell what is real and what isn’t.
Once finished with Gunner, I hurry toward Jaceson, reaching for the strap across his chest when Hicks speaks again. I startle so badly that I jump like a cat, my feet clearing a few inches off the floor when I whirl.
The temperature in the room drops so drastically that darkness bleeds along the corners. Shards of frost appear across the floor like lightning strikes, the speed they’re moving too fast to track.
Hicks lifts his hands in surrender, but he doesn’t flinch or look away from me. Though his breath fogs the air, he remains calm. I want to call him a fool for not treating me as a threat, and I begin to wonder if he wasn’t right to try and force me out of their lives.
Hicks just cocks his head, his eyes patient as he gazes down at me.
My throat tightens when I finally figure out his expression.
Understanding.
He refuses to hurt me again…even if I attack him.
Anger roars through me, and I narrow my eyes on the idiot. “Don’t you ever hesitate to take me out again. You don’t?—”
“No.” The infuriating man lowers his arms, shaking his head as his green eyes focus on me with the deadly stare of a predator. “I didn’t see it right away, not like the others, but you won’t hurt us.”
A bitter laugh escapes me, and tears burn the backs of my eyes. I whirl away from him and yank savagely on the belts. “You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about me. That’s the way you wanted things. Remember?”
“I know everything about you,” he counters, his wickedly low voice a growl that resonates in my chest. “I spent the last few months going over every inch of your life, digging up every fact I could find about you. I even translated and read your family’s diaries.”
I stiffen as he continues to speak, my emotions so brittle, I’m afraid I might shatter. I concentrate on my breathing, concentrate on releasing my hold on the afterlife. As the power wraps around me, coiling tighter and tighter like a snake, I fear I might implode.
I wish I could cover my ears, block out his words, but the damage has already been done. My heart bleeds from wounds I can’t see and I have no clue how to repair. A tear spills down my cheek, only to freeze, then drops and shatters against the table, much like my tattered soul.
“So you know that I’m a monster. Congratulations.” I huff out a harsh breath of annoyance as the buckle I’m working on finally releases, and I throw the belt away from me like I wish I could do with my emotions. “You must feel so much better now that you know you’re right.”
When I turn to grab the buckle across Jaceson’s hips, I nearly slam into Hicks. At over six feet tall, he’s an intimidating man. He grabs my arms before I can recoil, but my need to get away from him is a primal urge. I need to find a place where I can go to lick my wounds and rebuild my shields.
Lifting my head to glare up at him, I barely hold back my flinch at the scowl twisting his features. His grip tightens…then the motherfucker smashes his mouth over mine.
I want to fight.
I tell my brain to shove him away, knee him in the balls.
But the neurons in my brain must have gotten the signals mixed up. Instead, my hands fist in his shirt, and I drag him closer. My tongue meets his stroke for stroke as we battle for dominance, and a moan escapes me at the delicious taste of him. His touch sets my veins on fire, and I can’t seem to get enough.
For the first time in months, I feel alive.
Powerful.
Wanted.
His hands slip up my arms, caressing my shoulders, before skimming along my neck. Then he’s cupping my face, his kiss slowing, turning even more sensual, if possible. I’m practically vibrating with lust, my breasts aching for his touch. Only when I press closer to him does he fucking pull back.
It’s like being blasted with the subzero chill of the Arctic wind.
I try to drag myself away, unable to bear looking at him, but the asshole refuses to release me. If anything, his hold tightens, his hands forcing my head back. Furious at being manipulated once again, I glare at the jackass with every ounce of disdain I can muster, hating that he makes me feel things when I was surviving being numb.
“Release me,” I snarl, barely able to keep my powers from lashing out.
“Never,” he vows, his voice just as vehement. The raw hunger on his face when he peers at me has my insides sizzling with pure lust. When his gaze traces my lips, they tingle with the need to feel his hunger again. He slowly drags his eyes up, finally looking at me directly, and the force of his attention is enough to light up my soul. “You’re ours now. Nothing you do, nothing you say, will ever convince me to let you go. You. Are. Mine.”
I freeze, blinking up at him in confusion, sure I must have misunderstood him, my body tingling with a combination of desire and longing at his bold claim. A yearning that I can’t fight has my anger waning, leaving me a muddled mess I have no hope of untangling. My whole focus growing up was on staying alive.
Stupid fucking emotions.
Who knew they were so hard to control?!
I’m so out of my depth with these men that I’m unsure what to feel.
“But the journals…” I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying for patience. Apparently, my grasp of how men work is faulty. Shouldn’t he hate me more now? “I don’t understand. If you know everything, then why are you even here?”
For a second, I wonder if he wants to use me like my father but quickly dismiss the idea. If Hicks wants something, he’ll do it himself. He’s not the kind of man who would have others do his dirty work.
Which leaves me even more confused as to why he would risk coming to this hellhole.
“Do you honestly think you or a few ghosts would keep me from something that is mine?” My thoughts scatter at the dark promise in his eyes, but I’m sure I misunderstood.
“Huh?” Very eloquent, Rue , I chide to myself, wincing at how I can’t seem to even string two words together when he looks at me like that, like he actually wants me, but that can’t be right, can it? I don’t examine that thought too closely for fear I might be reading the situation incorrectly.
I can’t afford to hope then be wrong.
It would crush the last bit of my soul I have left.
Hicks rubs a thumb gently along my cheekbone, his gaze softening, revealing emotions I didn’t know he was capable of feeling, much less showing. His hand slips around to cradle the back of my head, and he shuffles forward until I’m pressed against his chest.
It takes me a second to realize what he’s doing.
He’s hugging me…almost as awkwardly as I hug people.
I suspect it’s something that he doesn’t do often, if ever. Very gingerly, much like I’m wrapping my arms around a grizzly bear, I hug him back. He’s stiff at first, his arms tightening almost painfully, but I don’t say a word, not wanting to break the fragile moment.
“The only thing the journals showed me was that I was a complete and utter idiot.” He rests his cheek on the top of my head, then sighs heavily, his breath feathering my hair. “I don’t do well with secrets. I act a little…irrational when people keep something from me.”
I snort at the understatement, and my eyes nearly bug out of my head when a hum of amusement rumbles in his chest. He sighs and pulls back a tiny bit to gaze down at me. “I understand the reason you kept your secret, it’s a good reason, but I couldn’t seem to look past it.”
“And now?’ I nibble on my bottom lip, peering up at him from under my lashes, uncertain I want to know the answer. I very much fear he will break my heart all over again.
“Now?” His eyebrows shoot up, then a cocky grin spills across his face. “Now, you’re mine.”
To him, it’s just that simple.
I duck my head, pressing my forehead against his chest, my thoughts too jumbled to decipher. While I want to trust him, want to believe him, I’ve been betrayed one too many times. I’ve seen so much bad in the world that I’m not sure I can trust anything good without expecting a trap.
Cynical?
Maybe, but it’s kept me alive this long.
As if he senses my hesitation, he fists the strands of my hair in his hand and yanks my head back until I’m looking up at him again. The sensation is just short of pain, and a hint of violence lingers in his eyes. “I’ll work on earning your forgiveness. I’m not an easy man, so I’ll probably fuck up again and again. For the moment, let’s focus on escaping this place, okay?”
I nibble on my bottom lip as I survey him, battling my doubts. I can tell he’s trying because he normally issues orders in a brisk, cutting tone. This time, when he speaks to me, a subtle hint of coaxing enters his voice, a softness to his tone that I’ve never heard before.
Very reluctantly, he pulls away, and my insides spark with heat when I realize that he hates the separation as much as I do. I’m almost free of him when he stiffens, a stormy expression darkening his face. I’m not even aware of backing away until the gurney behind me is pressed against my ass.
“Rue…what deal did you make with the doctor?” Something about his silky tone says he won’t allow me to get away with not telling him a second time.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
I purse my lips, then steal my spine and lift my chin. “I either willingly participate, or you and the others will become his next test subjects.” Even saying the words aloud sends a shiver of revulsion reverberating down to my very bones. Something tells me that if the good old doctor ever touches the men, they will never be the same again.
Not.
Happening.
Inhaling deeply, I pretend I don’t see the ghosts flickering into existence at the periphery of my vision. I will not lose control. First, I need to get the guys to safety, then I’ll allow myself to have emotions.
“Don’t you dare,” Jaceson snarls from behind me, only his ferocity is slightly muted from being knocked out and drugged. His hand clamps down around my wrist, and I whirl, sagging in relief when I find him awake and aware…and glaring at me.
Okay, maybe not that last one.
He is sporting a nasty bruise along his jaw, another one near his temple, and an assortment of others decorating his arms and torso.
Rage burns so strong and bright that they would dare lay a hand on my man, much less beat the crap out of him, that darkness billows across the laminated floor like a sinister fog. The only thing keeping it from exploding through the hospital and infecting everything is the overwhelming guilt weighing me down.
Every bruise is my fault.
The men are only here because of me.
The thought of anything else happening to them is untenable, and my resolve to keep them safe twists into a compulsion that I can’t ignore, like it’s written into my very DNA.
I always knew I would end up in a lab or an asylum. That it happened sooner than expected sucks, but I refuse to take them down with me. “Jaceson?—”
“Don’t fucking say another word.” He glares at me, not once looking away as he reaches over and starts unbuckling the restraint on his other arm. “I’ve seen his experiments, what the doctor does to his patients. That will not happen to you. I would rather die.”
“And I’m trying to stop that from happening,” I snarl back, yanking my arm free to drag my hands through my hair, frustrated that the jackass refuses to listen. “As long as we remain alive, we can eventually escape. You dead gets me nowhere.”
Unable to look at him without rage threatening to consume me, I head toward Jameson and work on freeing him next. My fingers are shaking so hard that I fumble with the straps, which only increases my annoyance. I huff out a frustrated breath, the back of my throat aching so much that I can’t swallow. When I speak again, my voice is barely above a whisper. “You think I’m na?ve, but I’ve always known this was my fate. You don’t think I know what’s in store for me? You don’t think my father hasn’t threatened me with it my whole life to force me to obey?”
Tears blur my eyes, but I stubbornly blink them back, focusing on the leather strap that refuses to budge. “It’s a small blessing I even had a few weeks of freedom, and I’m grateful for every second.”
I breathe a sigh of relief when the bindings finally loosen. “I refuse to take you guys down with me.”
Just as the leather passes through the loop, Jameson’s arm shoots out and wraps around my waist. The action is so unexpected that I squeak in alarm, and I’m dragged over his chest in an awkward sprawl. My breath whooshes out in a rush, and I find myself staring down at his gorgeous face. He was so quiet that I didn’t even realize he’d woken up.
Instead of my playful devil who would coax me into mischief, Jameson stares up at me with too serious pale blue eyes that hurt my heart. I don’t like seeing him so subdued, the demons he normally keeps contained tormenting him. I reach up with shaky fingers, brushing my fingers tenderly along his cheek.
“You broke your promise.” His gravelly voice cracks on the last word. He doesn’t move as he stares at me, doesn’t even blink, like he thinks I might vanish. “You said you would never leave me.”
My heart officially breaks, and the tears I have been holding back spill down my cheeks. One splashes against his face. He blinks in surprise, and the spell holding him still shatters. He reaches up and brushes my tears away with his thumb, his touch almost reverent.
“I’m so sorry.” A sob swells in my chest, and I lean into the warmth of his touch. I never expected to see him again, and everything I’ve been holding at bay comes crashing down. I don’t give a shit about the torture I endured the last few weeks. Nothing was worse than having the guys taken from me. “I would have never left you willingly.”
He nods once, barely a dip of his head, but the demons haunting his eyes don’t leave completely. Although my shoulders wilt, I don’t blame him. I broke his trust. That it wasn’t my fault doesn’t matter.
“You came for me.” I lightly touch his cheek, uncertain of my welcome but unable to keep from touching him. He flinches slightly, and my chest feels like someone reached in and ripped out my heart. A second later, he releases a shuddering breath and goes lax beneath me. His eyes fall shut, and he affectionately nuzzles into my hand.
I bury my face against his chest, breathing in his light floral cologne, both loving that he’s here with me and hating it at the same time. It takes three trembling breaths for me to lock my tears away.
“Pookie…if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask. No need to go to such extremes by having me kidnapped.” I blink once, then jerk my head up to stare at him incredulously. He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Now that you caught me, whatever are you going to do with me?”