Page 11 of Revenant (Spirit Realm #2)
RUE
D amn it, I don’t want to be charmed.
Jaceson says he’s not good at dealing with women, but I secretly think he must be a savant…or maybe he just understands me . Not wanting to dwell too much on their secrets for fear I’ll get upset all over again, I study Jaceson as he shuffles uncomfortably under my gaze.
He looks so much like a boy caught doing something naughty that I offer him an olive branch. “No wonder you don’t act like a prisoner, when there isn’t a place you can’t enter…or escape.”
That sparks an even more troubling question, and I straighten, my arms dropping to my sides as I step toward him. “None of that explains how you managed to get yourself admitted to the dungeon.” The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, a warning that I’m not going to like his answer. “What did you do?” I snarl, but it does little to cover my fear.
He’s suddenly wary, stilling under my gaze like I’m an animal seconds away from pouncing. He purses his lips, then straightens to his full height and slips his hand under a cord around his neck. When he tugs on the necklace, a very familiar planchette slips into view. My heart hitches, then threatens to explode out of my chest.
No.
No. No. No. No.
I don’t realize I’m chanting the word over and over—or that I’m even moving—until I’m reaching for the planchette. Jaceson captures my wrist before I can rip it from his neck. Even with my fingers hovering inches away, raw power radiates from the cardboard piece.
My power.
Only it’s no longer cardboard. It’s no longer a toy. No, the piece now resembles an ancient relic from a time when people believed in magic. My fingers flex with the need to reclaim the piece, and I’m not sure if I want to destroy it, not wanting it to hurt anyone else, or claim it for my own.
“You have to take it off.” I clutch at his shirt to keep from shaking the idiot. “It?—”
“Helps me focus my abilities,” he interrupts, placing both of my hands against his chest. My fingers automatically flex, and I’m almost distracted by his sleek muscles. He feels different, bigger, if that’s possible, and I have to shake my head to keep focused.
Danger first, explore Jaceson’s body later.
“Why would you do something so stupid?” Tears burn my eyes, and I’m not sure if it’s out of anger or fear. “You don’t even realize how much danger you’re in by wearing that. The more physical contact you have with the planchette, and the afterlife, the more it will change you.”
Jaceson leans down, not stopping until he’s right in my face, then he smiles a not very nice grin. “Good.”
I rear back, but he grabs my arms to prevent me from escaping. My thoughts scatter as I search his blue eyes, and it’s all I can do not to smack the dumbass for his stupidity. The idea of dooming him to my fate has me sick to my stomach, and I shake my head in denial.
“You don’t mean that. The planchette is cursed. Voices will follow you for the rest of your life, and you’ll soon come to hate me.” I swallow hard, and a sense of hopelessness swamps me. I can’t meet his gaze anymore, and my voice is barely above a whisper when I speak my worst fear. “You’ll soon regret that I’ve ever entered your life. Once you open that door, there is no going back.”
“Does it matter what I want?” Jaceson asks, his face softening.
I want to tell him no, that it doesn’t fucking matter, and I grit my teeth to keep the words locked away. “I don’t want this life for you.”
“Ghosts were already part of my life,” Jaceson counters, shrugging his shoulders like being able to hear voices isn’t a fucking big deal. “If anything, you keep me sane. I understand the reason for the voices now. I thought I was sick. I thought I was going insane. Instead, you saved me.”
Jaceson gently gathers me to his chest. I fight him for a moment, wanting to make him see reason, but I can’t resist the comfort of his arms.
I’m not sure if I believe him, but I can’t fault his logic.
As if he senses I’m weakening, Jaceson pushes home his point. “I regret nothing. If given a choice, I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe. My whole life, I have been surrounded by people but still felt alone. No one else understands me, but I have a feeling you do. Your gift isolated you, but you are no longer alone. We have each other now.”
Damn him.
Because of my abilities, most people would consider me a monster, but Jaceson acts like I’m special, that my abilities are a blessing, and he’s been waiting for me his whole life. When I peer up at him and gaze into his deep blue eyes, I can tell he actually believes it.
I slump against him, closing my eyes to keep the tears at bay. I should keep arguing with him, force him to see reason for his own good, but it would be nice not to be so alone.
“Even if I wanted to give the planchette back, I can’t.” He sounds smug, and I glance up at him with a frown. “If the doctor discovers that I’m no longer gifted, I very much doubt they’ll just allow me to walk away.”
The reality of the situation hits me like a charging polar bear.
Because he’s right.
Even if I want to keep protesting, we’re effectively trapped.
Fucking hell.
If the doctor even suspects Jaceson lied, the planchette would be confiscated. Jaceson would either be removed from the program in a very permanent way, drugged so heavily that his brains would be scrambled for the rest of his life, or turned into a morph.
None of those options are acceptable.
When I tense, Jaceson tightens his hold, rubbing his hand up and down my back as if to soothe me. He’s hesitant, almost clumsy in his attempt, and I love every second of it. “If it matters, I’m sorry about keeping secrets from you.”
His gruff voice sends a shiver down my spine, and gooseflesh pebbles my skin. His grip tightens, like he thinks I’ll fight him on the issue, but I’m mentally and physically tired of fighting them…and myself.
“I understand,” I murmur into his chest, his apology easing the tension holding my shoulders hostage. The ache is still there, but not as sharp.
I don’t like that they kept me in the dark, but I have no room to complain, since I virtually did the same thing.
They were protecting themselves.
In truth, none of us have known each other long. Something about them calls to my soul, like I’ve known them from a previous life. Honestly, if my secrets didn’t put them in danger, I doubt I would’ve ever told them anything.
“Why tell me now?” I reluctantly pull away, needing the distance to clear my head. I can’t afford to be distracted, not in a place like this. It could cost us our lives. “Why are you here? I risked everything to keep you safe. I didn’t do that only for you to turn around and throw it all away by following me.”
A fierce scowl darkens his face, and he straightens until he’s looming over me. “You risked everything to protect us. Why would you think we would do anything else?”
I flinch at the snarl in his voice. When he reaches for me, I clench my hands into fists to keep from retreating. I know in my soul that Jaceson would never hurt me. When his hand curls around the back of my neck, he pulls me close. My heart stutters in my chest, and I’m not sure if it’s in fear or excitement at his nearness.
He presses his forehead against mine, never once breaking my gaze. “You’re one of us. You’re family. And family comes with rules.”
“Rules?” I ask distractedly, blushing when my voice emerges husky with desire. Even from the first day, he has drawn that reaction from me.
They all have.
My mind flashes to my father’s rules, and my head clears a little. The asshole has hundreds of arbitrary rules, many of them impossible to guess, since he often makes them up on the spot just to punish me.
He has just one golden rule that has been beaten into me from the start—obey or else.
I inhale deeply, pushing away the memories, ignoring the way my stomach tightens in dread.
“First rule.” He pulls away, standing with his legs apart, his shoulders back, and holds up a single finger. “Never engage in mischief without backup.”
I can’t stop the snort that escapes me, a tiny smile curling my lips. “I know exactly why that’s rule number one.”
His twin almost has a preternatural talent to attract trouble.
Jaceson quirks an eyebrow, his tone wry. “You’d actually be surprised. While James might be able to sniff out trouble and embrace the chaos, the others are no slouches. You’ll see. I suspect you will give him and the rest of us a run for our money.”
“I’m not sure if I should be worried” —I tilt my head to the side with a smile— “or proud.”
He sighs, his eyes closing briefly, like he’s muttering a prayer under his breath. When he opens his eyes, his gaze is piercing. “Second rule—no heading into danger without backup.”
My humor fades as that rule hits home, and I slowly nod.
His pale blue eyes darken, his expression hardening. “Rule three—no disappearing without telling someone. It’s too triggering for us.”
I swallow hard at his rough voice. Even though I didn’t have a choice, I virtually disappeared from their lives without a word. I thought that with me gone, they would just go back to their lives. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I nod and clear my throat. “I can do that.”
He rubs the back of my neck, his gaze flicking away for a second, and I narrow my eyes suspiciously. “Just say it.”
His eyes snap back to me, then a full smile blooms across his face. My breath catches, and my body tingles at being the center of his attention. “This rule no longer applies since we met you, but we vowed that no girls would come between us. It was brothers first , but I think everyone will agree to tweak the rule to say family first .”
My emotions churn at his confession, and I have no hope of untangling them. Thankfully, Jaceson continues before I can study them too closely.
“Next rule—family first and always.” He steps closer, then crosses his arms, like he is having just as much trouble not touching me as I am not touching him. “We watch each other’s backs.”
I nod, carefully memorizing each rule like my life depends on it. I’m not afraid of being punished…I’m more afraid of disappointing them.
“One last rule.” He takes another step toward me, and my skin tingles with the need for his touch. It takes a concentrated effort to focus on his words and not his nearness. “Hurt one of us, you hurt us all. Vengeance must be claimed.”
His vicious tone should repel me, but I find myself nodding in agreement. If anyone touches them, I most definitely will be touching them back and hard. They’re mine to protect, and I won’t hesitate to do it with severe prejudice.
Before I can say anything, a knock echoes throughout the room. I panic and shove Jaceson behind the door, holding up my finger to my lips to keep him quiet. Though he doesn’t look happy, he nods once. Cold air creeps out from around the edges of the door like it’s a portal to the afterlife. While part of me wonders if it would be that easy to cross over into the afterlife, my instincts scream at me that my life would never be the same if I stepped into the land of the dead with my physical form.
I shake off my foolish thoughts, knowing the chill is merely a warning. Whatever is on the other side of the door is dangerous. What unnerves me more is the way Jaceson’s attention drops to the foggy mist.
Like he can fucking see it, which shouldn’t be possible.
It scares the ever loving fuck out of me.
With a shaky breath, I curl my hand around the knob, not even feeling the icy surface under my palm as I open the door. Two hulking men wait in the hallway, their severe expressions giving nothing away. Neither of them pretends to be anything but what they appear—guards.
The bigger man on the left has no expression on his face, he’s just doing a job. The other one is slimmer, but the look in his eyes is more chilling—complete apathy tinged with a sort of malicious glee that says he likes ripping wings off butterflies.
And fuck if I don’t get the impression that the dungeon is his own personal playground.
He steps to the side, a dark glimmer in his soulless eyes as he smiles, revealing a monster stuck in human form catching sight of his prey. “We’re here to escort you to your training session.”
From the tone of his voice, I might as well substitute training with torture .