Page 64 of Retribution

‘Thank you, Nurse Smith.’ I whisper, hating that I’m doing what this horrible woman wants.

But even I know there’s no other way. Not right now.

When she giggles, she sounds further away. I look back and see that she’s filming me on her phone from the doorway. I turn my face away immediately, trying to cover myself.

‘Oh my god, you actually urinated on yourself a little. Unbelievable. Ugh, you’re disgusting. Get up and go clean yourself up, you lazy little retard, or I’ll zap you again right now!’

I do it. I struggle to my feet though it feels much too soon to be moving after being shocked with that much voltage. Feeling dizzy and nauseous, I stumble on shaking legs to the bathroom.

‘Leave the door open,’ the nurse orders when I go to close it.

I leave it a crack and she kicks it wide, still videoing me.

‘Take off your pissy clothes and get in the shower, dirty retard.’

I try to pretend she’s not there, that she’s not recording this. My brain is on autopilot, and I go through the motions as I turn on the water.

When I get in, she reaches through the door and turns the water cold, ordering me not to fix it.

She makes me shower in the freezing water for a long time, watching the phone as she makes her little movie of subjugation.

Deep inside, I promise myself that I’m going to get her for this.

Finally, she sighs like she’s sated after a nice meal and turns off the water, throwing me a towel and putting her phone away.

‘I’d love to put that online. I’ll bet there’s a ton of pervs who’d love to see your fat, ugly ass getting what it deserves.’ She pouts. ‘But Joe said all the videos I take are just for him. No sharing his future wife over the internet.’

She leaves the bathroom but turns back.

‘Almost forgot. What do you say, Marguerite?’

‘Thank you, Nurse Smith.’

‘For what?’ she asks, voice hard.

‘For correcting me and helping me clean up,’ I answer, my voice toneless.

‘And are you sorry for biting me?’

‘Very sorry, Nurse Smith.’

She snorts and leaves my room, not bothering to lock the door.

When I’m sure she’s gone, I get back in the shower, turning up the heat until I’m warm. My body aches, probably from the two shocks I’ve gotten so close together. My left leg feels the worst. It’s shaking and feels a little like Jello.

I wrap myself in a towel and walk to my room, glancing at the closet. I know what I need. But what if she comes back? What if she finds me…

I cut off that line of thought before it can go any further.

I can’t give in to the fear. It’s only been a few hours. I was at The Heath for ten years. Was it really much different than this? Some of the Blanks and the nurses were sadistslike Nasty Nurse. Sure, they didn’t have complete control the way Smith seems to think she does, but am I really going to let her break me? This quickly?

I’m better than that, and stronger, too.

I limp to my bedroom door and peer out into the hallway. No one’s there, so I close it and half hobble to my closet, already anticipating the darkness all around me. The quiet. The feeling of safety.

Even though it’s a lie.

Deep in the dark with the door closed, once my heart stops pounding and my nerve endings stop hurting, I allow myself a few minutes to sob quietly. I long for Mav, Blake, and Shade’s arms around me. I want them so badly. I crave their touches. Even a hug would do.