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A s I watched Edith walk away from me, nausea swelled once again in my belly.

Matias was coming back.

He was coming back from the Institute, and…where was he going? Here ? Was he coming here ?

I shoved my face in my hands. It was the most bizarre thing because I could feel a part of me growing with excitement, remembering days of close caresses and hungry lips. But…another part of me sensed something very different.

Dread.

But why? Why was the thought of him coming back freaking me out?

Did I feel guilty? But why the hell would I feel guilty ? I shook my head, trying to shake it all off. I had nothing to feel guilty about. I wasn’t the one who went MIA on the relationship. I wasn’t the one who was literally wrapped in the arms of someone else. I wasn’t the one who shot him .

I inhaled deeply, trying to settle my nerves. It didn’t matter that he was coming back. It didn’t change everything that had happened—or rather, didn’t happen—between us, or the current craptastic situation I had found myself in.

But it still hurt. It hurt bad . I grimaced. It just wasn’t fair. Why was I always finding myself in these awful positions, having to choose between the people I cared about?

“Ugh,” I groaned, flopping back onto the grass, staring up into the blue sky.

My mind wrestled with it all, and I felt myself at war with what I wanted to do and what I should do.

I wanted to save my brother, making sure he didn’t share in Chase’s grotesque fate.

But I didn’t want to marry Wes. In truth, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted Matias either.

Our time apart had left a pretty big hole, and that hole filled itself up with jealousy, then pain, and something that felt dangerously close to apathy.

Regardless of what I wanted, I knew what everyone would tell me I needed to do—cut my own desires out of the equation and do “what was best for everyone,” or whatever the hell it was.

I was supposed to focus on what would serve the greater good and not just what was best for one person.

That’s what the Dissenters were always preaching, anyway.

But…but I…I didn’t want to.

Was that so wrong? Was it so wrong that I wanted to focus on saving Jacob versus what was best for all the rest of these damn people? Did that make me a bad person?

I bit my lip, my eyes watching the tufts of white slowly drift across the sky. What would anyone else do in my situation? How do you choose between saving your family or sacrificing your happiness for the greater good? Who does that crap anyway?

I shot up. Bitterness became a living essence in my veins—filling me, consuming my body. Why was I being expected to care for a bunch of people who barely tolerated me to begin with? I wasn’t stupid. Sasha didn’t care about me. Sasha wasn’t looking out for my best interest.

Power.

Wealth.

Survival.

Revenge

That’s what she said, right? That’s all she was looking out for…

herself . And she was sacrificing me to regain her power, regain her wealth, and ensure the survival of her people.

But if you really care about people, wouldn’t you care about all of them, regardless of who they followed or what they believed?

No. Sasha wanted what was best for one person and one person only.

And she was playing with the lives of hundreds of people to achieve her own goals.

I just happened to be the unlucky girl that had what she wanted—a title.

Well, you know what… screw her . Screw this whole freaking place.

Everyone else focused on their own wants under the guise of doing what was better for the masses.

If everyone else could do that, then why couldn’t I?

Why couldn’t I just go along with Sasha’s little plan, get my brother back, and then jump ship before I had to say the words I do ? If everyone else could use me as a little pawn in their freaking games, then so could I.

All was fair in love and war, right?

Well, this sure as hell wasn’t about love, but it was definitely a war between who was going to outsmart the other.

I never wanted to play the stupid game, but if Sasha was going to drag me into it, then I might as well double down and start playing.

I could follow their stupid little rules and play their little game.

But for once, I was going to make sure that I wasn’t the one being used in the end.

Not this time. I wasn’t going to end up crying and lost in the woods.

I was done with that.

This time, I was going to focus on one thing—saving my brother. If that meant everyone needed to think I was going to be the future Mrs. Calvernon, then so be it. Fine . I could play that role. But no one said I had to go through with it in the end, right? Brides run away all the time, don’t they?

A heavy sigh fell from my lips as a deep sense of foreboding filled me. Edith’s words rang through my mind all over again. There was one thing she got a hundred percent right—someone was going to get hurt.

The question now was who ?