Page 35 of Requirements for Love (Love in London with Mr Darcy #3)
On Sunday, Elizabeth walked to church and climbed the stairs without issue.
Her ankle would be well enough to go to the opera with Darcy on Tuesday.
She was physically ready, but not certain her emotions were ready to meet him.
But it was best that she grow accustomed to loving him in vain.
Captain Peck implied he was occupied with his regiment at the present, but she knew he would call in the coming week.
She wanted to be in the right spirit and frame of mind to receive him.
And that meant keeping Darcy as far from her thoughts as possible.
“I am hopeful he will ask her today,” her aunt said in a hushed voice.
Mrs Gardiner and Elizabeth were outside the closed drawing room door overlooking the entrance hall. Bingley had called this afternoon to see how Elizabeth fared, and while he undoubtedly was concerned and was civil in his inquiries, it was plain he was here for Jane.
After a half-an-hour visit, her aunt asked for Elizabeth’s help with an errand and they left the pair alone.
“How long ought we to give them?” Elizabeth asked .
“I think they might need some time. Mr Bingley clearly has an affection for Jane, but he has taken a long while to come to the point.” Her aunt grinned and dropped her voice. “Jane might want to grant him a kiss as well.”
“Or several.”
Her aunt smiled. “Do not tell your mother that I condoned such a thing.”
“Oh, you need not worry. If the kisses followed a proposal, she would have no complaints.”
They heard a knock at the front door, and the footman opened it to reveal Darcy.
He did not see them at the top of the stairs, and they heard him ask if Miss Elizabeth Bennet was at home.
Her aunt looked at her with a questioning gaze, but what could she do other than nod her consent?
In a moment, he would tilt his head and notice them.
“Good afternoon, Mr Darcy,” her aunt said. Darcy looked up in surprise, but then his countenance settled into a smile. “Have you come to visit with the patient?”
“I wanted to confirm that she continued in good health.”
He was so polite. His sister had called yesterday, and Bingley came to see her. Captain Peck would come in a few days. All of her London acquaintances were calling to express their good wishes. She must read nothing into Darcy’s visit.
“Perhaps we can all sit in my husband’s library?” Mrs Gardiner said. “The drawing room is…” She and Elizabeth looked at each other and grinned.
A child’s shriek, an angry yell in reply, and a long wail followed from one floor above, and her aunt closed her eyes in embarrassment.
“Lizzy, please entertain Mr Darcy while I manage my unruly children,” she said in a tight voice before she quickly went up the stairs.
Elizabeth went down and led him into the library.
A fire had been lit, and since she did not know what to say to him, she rambled.
“Your friend is in the drawing room, and we suspect he is proposing to Jane. If he does not take advantage of this chance, he is the greatest simpleton. My uncle went for a Sunday walk with friends. He should be back shortly. I dare not say the same for my aunt. She has four children under the age of eight. What we heard could have been a minor disagreement or an all-out brawl.”
He smiled faintly. “I am content with only your company. How have you been managing?” he asked, gesturing to her ankle.
“Perfectly well, although I still feel a little weak. I suspect that feebleness won’t take long to recover from. I am eager to walk more and regain my strength.”
He nodded, and sat down for a few moments and then, getting up, walked about the room.
Was he nervous? She was certain she had never seen Darcy nervous.
Pensive, impatient, curious, angry, affectionate, happy; those were all parts of his manner she had seen and knew well, but not nervousness.
Or perhaps he was only wondering how to fill the last thirteen minutes of a polite call that he only made for civility’s sake.
“You and my sister made a thorough list of what you require from your future husband,” he finally said, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a folded sheet. “I thought since I knew your requirements to be in love that it was only fair for you to know mine.”
He handed it to her, carefully sitting across from her as he did.
Elizabeth looked at him curiously, wondering why he shared it now after she had provoked him about it for over a week, but he only gestured for her to read it.
She unfolded it and at the top it read, “Fitzwilliam Darcy’s list of requirements for domestic happiness. ”
What she read set her heart in a glow. The only thing written on the entire sheet was “Elizabeth Bennet.”
“I was not honest with you when you left,” he said slowly when all she could do was stare into his face. “You asked me if there was any reason against your pursuing Captain Peck…”
“You said there was no reason,” she whispered, still in disbelief.
“I thought that was what you wanted to hear,” he said. “But I realised that did not give you the chance to say for yourself what you wanted. And your answer might be different if you knew—if you knew how ardently I admire and love you.”
She gasped in complete surprise. “I thought after what I heard on the stairs, after what you said at the pianoforte when the Gardiners came…” She felt absolutely incredulous. “I thought that you only wanted to be my friend.”
He gave a sad smile. “I should have made an avowal of all that I felt—have long felt for you,” he corrected. “And after seeing you interact with other men this week,” he added wryly, “I am especially certain I want more than friendship.”
Darcy left his chair and sat next to her.
“I have been in restless torment watching friends meet you who did not see your value. You could never be too forward or confident in your talk with me. I like the brightness of your manner and the quickness of your mind.” He tentatively took her hand.
“And if a topic rolls on to science or politics or learning, you should offer your sentiments. If you wanted to ride in Hyde Park at the fashionable hour, I would take you. If you wanted to stay home and argue with me, I would gladly stay in.”
Elizabeth held on to his hand as she said, “But your friend Captain Peck saw some value in me?—”
“Will Peck write you long, faithful letters when you must be apart?” he interrupted with energy.
“Not if there is a race or prize fight to be seen. Will he consider your desire to travel, or will he think first of his own whims and amusements?” He squeezed her hand a little tighter.
“You need someone to hold on to. He is pleasant company and a patient friend, but he cannot do that for you. You would be lonely with a man like Peck, a man who does not need you to breathe.”
That might be true, but Darcy was also jealous of his friend. How could that be both unbecoming and flattering? “Yes, you said something about that on Monday, but still you let me believe I could be satisfied with him.”
“Satisfied?” he repeated. “That is not enough for a woman like you. You deserve someone who loves you most devotedly, Elizabeth.” Her mouth fell open to hear him use her name.
“Do you suppose you are ever present to my imagination under any other name? No, it is ‘Elizabeth’ that I think of all day, and dream of all night.”
It was everything she wanted to hear, but why had he waited for so long? “But you said nothing. Not when we talked after what happened on the stairs, or when Captain Peck called, or even the day I left.”
“I am exceedingly sorry. I lost all hope in your returning my feelings after all our misunderstandings. I hesitated in declaring myself, but do not imagine my feelings any less fervent, any less ardent and all-consuming because I did not declare myself in November when I ought to have done.”
“In November?” she cried. “You have not admired me for that long.” He was about to say that he had, and she interrupted him with a distressing realisation. “Oh, you did, but my family drove you away.”
He cringed. “That was my pride, my failing, not theirs. We both know how they behave, but I do respect them, and before you overheard me, I had already decided they would not deter me from offering for you.”
“And yet you did not propose to me, and allowed me to consider Captain Peck as a suitor.” She said it with all the displeasure she felt, and yet she still held his hand, their knees touching and staring into each other’s eyes.
“Please don’t consider him,” he entreated.
“I cannot imagine Peck is dying to know everything about you like I am. What I already know is that you need someone who will listen to what you say with their whole soul. Someone who won’t discount your opinions or needs because you are a woman.
Someone you can laugh with and someone who will shoulder every one of life’s burdens with you. ”
“And someone who is honest.”
His countenance bore genuine regret. “I should have told you the truth when you asked me if there was a reason not to pursue Peck. Is my being in love with you and wishing to marry you enough of a reason?”
She blushed and looked down. She had not been honest with him, either. It was not typically done, but she could have spoken first, or at least hinted that she loved him. He was not the only one who had to speak with honesty and admit to what they wanted and needed.
Darcy’s other hand gently tilted up her face before moving to cup her cheek. “May I strive to be the man that you need? Meet every one of your requirements?”
“Oh, that stupid list,” she cried, leaning into the palm of his hand. “Who could encapsulate everything they need for their future happiness into a list of eight foolish demands?”