Page 33 of Requirements for Love (Love in London with Mr Darcy #3)

Although she left Darcy’s house yesterday in a confusion of spirits, it had been all joy and enthusiasm in Gracechurch Street.

Her aunt and uncle were delighted to have her back.

Jane was eager to talk with her, and her cousins could not contain their excitement.

All were glad she was healthy and home, and from their infectious happiness, Elizabeth tried to put aside her disappointed hopes about Darcy.

Georgiana had already sent a note this morning to inquire after her and promised to call tomorrow. Elizabeth spent the rest of Friday playing with her cousins, at home with her aunt’s visitors in the afternoon, and it was not until they dressed for dinner that she had a moment alone with Jane.

“Has Bingley been a frequent caller?” she asked in a lilting voice. From what Darcy had said, she suspected a marriage proposal would be forthcoming.

Jane contained a smile and said, “He dined with us yesterday. He implied he would call on Sunday to see how you are.”

“That is his excuse to return so soon, but we both know whom he truly wants to see.”

In response to her grin and pointed stare, Jane asked, “Did you add anything to your list of marital requirements since we last spoke? ”

Elizabeth allowed Jane to change the subject. “No, and I think I convinced Georgiana that she did not need to make me a match.” Now she could explain Wickham’s duplicity and what he had done to Georgiana.

Wickham’s actions duly horrified Jane. “So Miss Darcy wanted to help you find a suitable match, unlike she had done?”

“And I think she felt she was not worthy of ever making her own match after what she nearly did. Or felt like my friendship had to be earned because she had made such a mistake and it made her doubt her own worth. She held a lot of blame for what happened.”

Jane shook her head over it. “Most of the blame must fall to Wickham. What an undeserving young man.”

“I heartily agree. Thankfully, everyone in Meryton now knows what he is, and we are all safe from him. And now that this conversation is over,” she said with a sly smile, “we can return to discussing your young man.”

Her sister returned her look with one of her own. “I would rather find out if you think a young man might call for you.”

“You mean Darcy?”

Jane blinked and gave her a curious look. Elizabeth’s stomach dropped. Had her tone really sounded that hopeful? “No, I meant Captain Peck. You wrote about this Captain Peck a few times.”

The realisation of what she admitted mortified her.

She had not wanted to confess her unreturned affections for Darcy, especially if she intended to know Captain Peck better.

She loved and lost Darcy in such a short time, and here she was considering another man already, even if her heart was not in it yet.

It was soon pain upon pain, confusion upon confusion.

She thought she hid her feelings well, but Jane came near and took her hand.

“I am in the dark. Pray, what is all this matter?”

It was mortifying, but she could have no secrets from Jane, and not after what she had just admitted.

Elizabeth laid plain everything that had happened between her and Darcy.

All of their misunderstandings and all the burgeoning affection she thought she had seen from him.

By the time she got to the end, she was resolved to think of him no more.

“He was right to send me home, of course. I was well enough to climb into a carriage. And now I am certain it is best if I never see Darcy again.”

“Could he still hold you in some regard, despite what he said about our family’s behaviour? He does not strike me as a man to pursue a woman, or, indeed, show any interest, unless he truly felt something for her.”

“No, and I hope he does not. Why, Jane, what young lady wishes to put up with the misfortune of being pursued by a clever, generous, handsome, rich man and then have him be driven away by the vulgarity of her nearest relations?”

Her sister frowned. “When we came to dinner, Mr Darcy was much more obliging and attentive to other people’s feelings than he had ever been in Hertfordshire. And while he might disapprove of poor behaviour wherever he sees it, he was never disrespectful toward anyone who acted in such a way.”

“No, I am determined to laugh myself out of this little heartache. Besides, I have a new friend who might make a good husband.” Would she truly settle for Captain Peck if an offer ever came? Would he or any other man make her feel what she felt when she looked into Darcy’s eyes?

“But you knew Mr Darcy for two months in Hertfordshire and lived in his house for two weeks. You know him much better than Captain Peck.”

“I know the captain well enough to be getting on with. Think how few times Charlotte met with Mr Collins before accepting him. Compared to that, I say I know Captain Peck’s character well.” Of course, she felt it impossible for her friend to be happy in the lot she had chosen.

Jane shook her head. “You may form a judgement of a man from his prevailing passion or his general character, yet it will be prudent to wait to see the operations of his underlying manner. You do not know Captain Peck well enough to commit yourself to him.”

Elizabeth huffed and busied herself looking in the mirror. “I am not about to marry him tomorrow. But we met three times and enjoyed the other’s company.”

“And you have known Mr Darcy far longer.”

She threw up her hands and turned from the mirror. “I like Captain Peck. And before you interrupt me, yes, I love Darcy, but he does not love me.”

Her sister looked thoughtful. “He did always seem to take notice of you. I think he might still admire you, but neither of you has been honest enough to say it aloud.”

“But what about what I overheard?” she cried. “Should I rejoice in his admiring me despite my family?” In her heart, she did. It was flattering that his feelings could overcome that. “What does that say about me?”

“I think you judge him unfairly for feelings you too have held about our parents and sisters.”

That struck her, the same way as Darcy had when he pressed her on the same issue. “Well, he does not approve of my family, and I cannot marry a man who does not respect them. It is number four on my list, you know.”

She could not exhort a smile from Jane. “I think he can disapprove of their poor behaviour and still show them respect.”

She knew all of that. But it did not mean that Darcy wanted to marry her.

“I am sure he would be respectful to them if he ever saw them again, but there is no need. As I said, I do like Captain Peck. All men are essentially the same, after all. One respectable man is as good as another, so if finances and families and general characters are equal, what is the problem?”

Jane frowned. “All men consist principally of the same materials, yet from a difference in their proportion, no two are the same. And had you not overheard what Darcy said, you would have preferred him over any other man, would you not?”

“But he did say it,” she whispered. “And it hurt.”

“Of course it did. Did he aim to hurt you? ”

“Not at all.” A generous heart lay under that too honest character of his.

“We sometimes do things utterly inconsistent with the general tenor of our characters,” Jane said carefully. “The wisest man will occasionally do a weak thing, the most honest man a wrong thing, the noblest man a mean thing.”

“And the best of men will sometimes do a foolish thing.”

Jane grabbed her hand. “If you think Mr Darcy is the best of men, why are you awaiting Captain Peck’s call?”

“I can forgive Darcy for speaking what he felt, even though it ought to have remained unsaid. But it does not mean he loves me back. Captain Peck has hinted that he is interested. I should encourage him.”

“I do not understand your hurry to give up on Mr Darcy and turn to the captain. He is not the only man in England who could love you if Mr Darcy does not, which I think he could.”

Elizabeth let go of Jane’s hand and retied her ribbon to give her something to do and a reason to look away. “I rarely move from home, Jane, and we have both learnt how our family’s behaviour can drive away a man. I should make a match now when they cannot humiliate me.”

“But this is a decision for the rest of your life. You ought not to marry Captain Peck if you are in love with another man.”

“Maybe by the time I get to know Captain Peck better, I will have fallen out of love with Darcy.”

Jane looked like she wished to say much more on the subject, but it was time for dinner, and Elizabeth hurried away to avoid hearing it.

It had not taken her long to fall in love with Darcy once she spent more time with him, but it felt like it would take a long time to fall out of love with him.

He only wanted her friendship and could admit to no reason she should not pursue Captain Peck.

He could have told her before she left that he admired her, but he willingly let her go.

With his guest gone and his sister returned home yesterday, Darcy’s house felt quieter.

So quiet, that attending this rout had briefly seemed like a good idea.

It had been pleasant to have Georgiana around, and it occurred to Darcy that she was old enough now to include in more invitations.

Georgiana had said that she would call on Elizabeth today.

Darcy sighed to himself as he looked across the crowded drawing room. He missed Elizabeth, too.

And today was Saturday and Peck said he intended to call on her next week.

Would he see Elizabeth riding in Captain Peck’s barouche this spring? When he took the Gardiners and their nieces to the opera on Tuesday, might she have seen Peck by then? That would be too soon for him to declare himself, but it would not be long.