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H e was a fucking saint.

There ought to be a prize for how much of a fucking saint he was. And there was no other way to describe what he was, because only a saint could have had a naked, wet Opal in the shower a few feet away and refrained from getting in there to touch her, taste her, to get on his knees to worship her.

It had been a definite test of his control.

Now she was in bed, leaning back against the headboard with pillows propping her up. She claimed it was the most comfortable position.

He plugged in her heating pad that she had by the side of the bed and placed it behind her back before helping her settle back in.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t need to thank me, Gem,” he said gruffly. “The shower helped, so will the heat, but you need drugs.”

“I know.” Shadows crossed her face. “But I just . . . I don’t know that I can trust myself to have them in the house.”

Hmm.

Didn’t trust herself?

That told him something he didn’t much like.

“Talk to me, Gem,” he ordered gruffly.

“Do you know much about what brought me, Ryleigh, and Lilac to Haven?”

“Guessing it had to do with Ryleigh being a long-lost Malone daughter? You just can’t make up this sort of shit.”

“You sure fucking can’t,” Opal agreed. “We came to Haven because we hoped that her brothers were decent people who would help us. Or, at least, protect her. Lilac and I were prepared for the fact that we might have to keep running. Hiding. But we couldn’t keep going with Kye. He needed stability. A home.”

“The Malones were always going to take care of all of you. They might be wild, but they’re all about family and loyalty and all of that shit.”

“Tell me about it. If I’d known I was going to be an honorary Malone, I might never have come here.”

Well, add that to the hundred and eighty-three things he didn’t like. The idea of her not being here.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he growled.

Her eyebrows rose. “You’re awfully demanding for someone who doesn’t want anything long-term.”

Well, fuck.

Yeah. He could see the hypocrisy considering he planned on leaving.

But he still didn’t want her going anywhere.

“I don’t like the idea of you not being here, where you’re safe.”

With me.

However, he bit back that last part. And then wished he hadn’t as her smile drooped slightly. She rallied, hiding her disappointment.

But he still felt lower than a pig’s belly.

“I’m not . . . I’m not going anywhere. Because this place, even though I still think it’s some sort of crazy cult, it’s the safest I’ve ever felt. The most accepted. I think this’ll surprise you, but I’m not actually everyone’s cup of tea.” She grinned as though she expected him to agree, to join in the joke.

“Who the hell said you weren’t their cup of tea,” he demanded.

“Lots of people, darlin’. I get it and I don’t care. I am who I am.”

“Anyone tells you that again, I want to know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And then he was going to make their lives a fucking misery.

Opal desperately wanted to ask why he cared so much when this was just a short-term thing . . . but she didn’t want him to stop caring. So she kept her mouth shut.

She’d agreed to the short-term, no strings attached thing, and she wasn’t going to go back on it.

It was easy.

Uncomplicated.

It meant that she got her needs met without having to curtail her independence.

The only issue was that Opal was pretty certain she wanted complicated.

“I was living in a bad situation before I came to Haven. Guess you might have heard some of it?”

“Heard that Lilac’s brother was a bad guy and was trying to find the three of you.”

“Yeah. Stefan Masters. Lilac was his sister. Ryleigh was his fiancée and I was his whore.”

“Right, that’s one.”

“One what?” she asked.

“Punishment. I told you the rule. Gave you a warning. Once your back is feeling better, your butt is in a whole heap of trouble.”

“But that was the truth.”

“Now you’re at two.”

“What? Seriously?” she exclaimed.

“You might want to be careful about what you say next.”

“You don’t understand the situation, though.”

“So explain it to me,” he urged.

“Stefan was a really bad guy. A narcissist for sure. He had so much charm when he wanted to, though. When he turned his attention on you, you felt like you were his world. And it was hard to see anyone else. I was completely fooled by him. Taken in by smooth words and empty promises. He could read a person like no one else. He knew just what to say to get me to fall into his trap.”

“How did you meet him?” he asked.

This part was hard to say. “I was in a bad place. I was working in a strip club as a waitress. I didn’t strip, but I was close to doing it. There’s no shame in stripping if that’s what you want to do,” she said hotly.

“Did I say anything against stripping?”

No, he hadn’t.

“Sorry. Guess I’m just used to people condemning me for my choices. Thing is, I didn’t really want to do it. I was just getting desperate. My tips were good but I . . . I owed a debt I was having to pay off.”

“A debt? For what?”

“It was my mom’s,” she admitted. “She took drugs. She hadn’t had an easy life, and she was just searching for a way out. When she couldn’t pay any longer, the guy she owed money to beat her up.”

“Fuck. Baby,” he whispered.

“I know I should have cut her off, but she was my mom. When that asshole told me that he’d be back and things would get much worse if we didn’t have the money, I told him I’d pay it off.”

“I hate that you were dealing with scum like that.”

“Been dealing with them all my life, darlin’,” she told him. “Not like I knew a lot different.”

“Still doesn’t make it right.”

No, it didn’t.

“So I was working all I could to pay off that debt so that asshole didn’t come after Mom again, trying to keep an eye on her so she didn’t get into more trouble, when this sexy as fuck guy walks into the club.”

He growled. “I don’t like hearing you call another man sexy.”

“Yeah. I get that.” She nodded. She wouldn’t like it if he said that about another woman. “Sorry. Just telling you where my head was at. This guy had money. He gave me a hundred-dollar tip that night. Now, I’ve been around some assholes who thought they were God. They’d flash their cash, meanwhile their families lived in a dive and their kids went hungry. But Stefan was back week after week. And it was more than the money, it was the courtesy, you know? He treated everyone in that club like a human being. Little did I know how good of an actor he was. He seemed too good for that place. When he asked me on a date, I laughed because I didn’t believe it.”

“So he dated you?”

“Not for long, darlin’.” She swallowed heavily as memories assaulted her. There was more to the story, but while she had trust in Renard not to harm her, she wasn’t prepared to trust him with all of her past. “He promised to make all of my problems go away if I became his. Moved me into a nice apartment, paid off all of the debt Mom had racked up, even got her into a rehab place. I had stupidly convinced myself that he was in love with me. That he would never hurt me.”

She shook her head with a bitter laugh. “I can’t believe how stupid I was. I grew up surrounded by liars, assholes, and terrible people and he still managed to fool me. I thought I was street smart, that no one would be able to deceive me like that. For so long I excused his actions, telling myself that he loved me. I always blamed myself.”

“What did he do to you?” he asked in a dark voice.

She’d been too lost in the memories to remember to watch Renard.

And that was a mistake that she shouldn’t have made.

Because he was beyond furious.

His face was pure, stark white and there was a small tic to the right of his mouth. He was scowling so hard that she was certain he would have new wrinkles. Not that that was necessarily a bad thing when the ones he had only made him hotter.

But she didn’t want him having wrinkles because of her.

“Renard,” she said in a low, calm voice. “Renard, honey, it’s over now.”

“Over? What did he do?”

“I don’t . . . I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Motherfucker.”

“He’s dead,” she reminded him.

He sat there as still as a statue except for the tic in his cheek and his hands which were clenching and unclenching.

“He’s dead,” he repeated.

“He’s dead,” she told him again.

“Did it hurt?”

“I don’t know, darlin’. But I sure hope so. He was shot.” That was likely all she should tell him. The truth of who shot him was something that no one wanted getting out.

Not without risking the person who shot him.

“Fuck. Fuck.”

“So, I was having a hard time being . . . Stefan’s. And I started to collect pills until the day I felt brave enough to take them all. At once.”

“Fuck.” He groaned the word and she winced at the pain in it.

“I just wanted to escape. Anyway, obviously I wasn’t successful. He found me. Got my stomach pumped by an asshole doctor he had on his payroll. And I lived. Thing is . . . I don’t regret it. I can’t ever regret it. Because the lowest point of my life brought me to Lilac.”

“How?” he asked.

“He moved me into his house where he and Lilac lived. He decided that he needed me closer . . . and that I would be more secure there.” She shook her head. “Lilac and I, well, we hit it off surprisingly. I guess we had a common enemy. And then Ryleigh moved in, and he pulled the same shit on her. Pretended to be a good guy when he was a snake in the grass. Oh, and he locked me away so I couldn’t tarnish his image with her. Then, one night, Ryleigh decided to do some investigating and found me and Lilac after Stefan had . . . visited me.” She swallowed heavily, feeling ill.

“Baby, baby, look at me.”

“I’ll get it if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”

She got it if he didn’t want to be with her anymore?

Well, he was glad she got it because he had no fucking idea what she was talking about.

“You want to enlighten me as to what the fuck you’re talking about?” he snapped. “Why would anything that you’re telling me make me not want to be with you?”

If anything, it was the opposite.

All of this was extremely hard for him to listen to. But it was all important. And even though he wanted to demand she tell him everything, at least she hadn’t tried to lie to him.

And now he knew that he needed to treat her with care. While still putting her over his knee when she needed it.

“Renard, I’m damaged.”

She said the words like they were some huge revelation. As though she really did expect him to turn and walk out that door.

He cupped her cheek. “Baby, I get that whatever happened to you was terrible. It’s affected you in ways that maybe you don’t even know. And I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you’re not damaged, because I’m fucking damaged too.”

“I know you are.” Her face had softened. “Fuck, I’m an idiot. Making this all about me. You have your own stuff to deal with. I shouldn’t have told?—”

She tried to shift away and let out a small gasp of pain.

“Do not move.”

“I just?—”

“And you fucking well should,” he told her harshly.

“I . . . what?” she asked.

“You fucking well should have told me this. You should tell me everything. That might not be possible yet, but I hope someday it will be.”

It might have helped if he hadn’t told her that this was only short-term.

“You should lay it all on me so I know what I have to do to help you. So I can work every day to help fix that damage. And so I know that I’ve got to treat you with care.”

She scoffed. “Care? Me? You don’t have to treat me with care. I’m as tough as old boots. You don’t get stronger than me.”

“I know you don’t,” he told her.

Opal gave him a confused look. “But you just said . . .”

“Just because you need care doesn’t mean you’re not fucking strong. Pretty sure you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

Blinking, she turned her head to the side. He guessed she was trying to hide her reaction, but he wasn’t having that.

Grasping hold of her chin, he turned her head back so he could see her.

“And you know I don’t lie, Gem. I’m telling you the truth. You’re brave and you’re strong. That doesn’t mean that you don’t need care.”

“Might damage my street cred, people hear that.”

He had to hide his smile. “Then it’ll just be between us.”

“Well, I suppose it will be all right for you to treat me with care when we’re alone.”

He planned on doing it all the time, but if she wanted to believe that, then she could.

It wouldn’t stop him.

But he’d also make sure that she could keep her street cred. If it was important for her to know that she was tough, for others to know that, then he’d preserve that. But she didn’t have to pretend with him.

“But, Gem, you not taking painkillers now because you tried to overdose on them, that’s crazy.”

“I can’t trust that I won’t take too many. That’s why I don’t keep any in the house.”

“You want to end it all now, baby?”

“What? No! I’ve never felt like that again . . . not since I met Lilac.”

“Then it’s not going to be a problem,” he said firmly.

“You can’t know that.”

“I do. Because you’re strong and you have found your way to a good place. That was an extreme situation, it’s not going to happen again.”

She bit her lip, looking so uncertain. So unlike his girl that it hurt him.

“You could be right.”

“I always am.”

“Always?” she repeated dryly.

“Yep. Best you find that out now, it’ll save you a lot of worry and problems in the future.”

She giggled as she shook her head. Although he didn’t see what was so funny.

“I don’t want you in pain, Opal. Did you ever abuse substances in your past? Alcohol? Drugs?”

“I would never fucking touch drugs. Not after Mom. I did drink a lot for a while there, but I don’t overdo it now.”

“That’s good.” He grasped hold of her cheeks between his hands.

She licked those luscious lips. Hmm, she hadn’t taken off her makeup. Shouldn’t she do that before bed? Some of it had come off in the shower, but not much.

“So there’s no reason to think that you’ll get addicted to the pain pills, that you’ll take too many. I just want you to take some Tylenol, anyway. Start off small, yeah?”

“I . . . I . . . shit.”

“Tell me.”

She stared at him. “Don’t want to ask too much.”

“That’s another rule.”

“What is?”

“You can never ask too much. So don’t start thinking that you ever will.”

“Weird rule.”

“Well, it’s one. As well as no putting yourself down or calling yourself names. No putting your health or safety in danger, which includes carting around anything heavy. Like fucking carpet or furniture. Also includes not walking around at night on your own, without a coat.”

“But I’ve got to get my furniture back into the spare bedroom. And it’s not always cold enough for a coat.”

“Well, you’ve got me now. I’ll be moving anything you want moved and you will remember a coat or I’ll start doing that for you.”

“That would be nice if you helped me.”

“Not helping you, Gem. I will be doing it. You will be directing, telling me where I can put stuff. And I’ll let you order in some food to feed me, that’s it.”

“Because of my back?” she queried.

“Nope. Because it’s a man’s job to carry heavy shit for his woman.”

“That seems a bit sexist.”

“It is what it is,” he told her firmly. “Now, Tylenol?”

“I’ll take it,” she told him.

Thank fuck.

“Only, I don’t have any.”

“No problem. I’ve got some in the glovebox of my truck.”

“You do?”

“Don’t look so shocked, Gem,” he told her, feeling amused. “Sometimes, us cavemen have to take painkillers too.”

“Huh. You learn something every day.”