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CHAPTER FORTY

Dario

“Oh God, I can’t do this, I can’t do this,” Mya said over and over. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it with all her might.

I looked at Dr. Kali. “Can we postpone this?”

He looked back at me as if I had temporarily lost my mind. Honestly, I felt that I truly had.

I’d read all the books. I watched my fair share of videos about the birth process, but nothing could compare to the way I felt watching her in pain and knowing that I could do nothing about it.

“When is the epidural supposed to kick in?”

“What epidural?” she said, looking at me sharply.

We were in a local hospital that Dr. Kali was affiliated with. She’d been surprised to see him, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing.

“I didn’t think you would be here. I thought you left me!” she had cried.

“Never, my dear,” Dr. Kali had responded. “Just had to talk some sense into Mr. di Cecco. Isn’t that right?”

I had grunted in reply. I’d wanted to punish him somehow for betraying me, but Luis had made me see the error of my ways. Luis really was a good guy, and I could see why Jason had been his friend.

True friends were hard to come by nowadays.

My anger at what I had thought of as the doctor’s betrayal was really just my short-sightedness. Without the doctor saving me from myself and giving me much-needed guidance, I wouldn’t have survived for this long.

It was he who deserved my loyalty, not the other way around.

“I want a natural birth,” she said once the contraction had subsided.

A minute later, she was begging for an epidural.

“I’ll be back,” I said, looking for the nurse I was so out of my element that I had to resist the urge to pull anyone in the room wearing a white coat and beg for help.

Finally, I rounded up a nurse and insisted that he come to Mya’s rescue immediately. He seemed a little annoyed but reluctantly followed me back into the room.

“Dr. Kali!”

They shook hands and started to chitchat. Mya cleared her throat loudly and shot them both a look that had the power to make me feel small. It seemed to have the same effect on the doctor and the nurse, who both rushed to her side.

She stated again that she wanted an epidural now, and the nurse went to get the right team member to do it.

Once it was done, Mya even relaxed enough to fall asleep.

“Does she know?” Dr. Kali asked.

“Know what?”

I was being obtuse. I knew what he was talking about.

“No, she doesn’t,” I finally said with a sigh.

“Don’t you think you should tell her?”

I pretended that it didn’t happen. I never let myself think about it. Mya and the baby were my future. My past…I didn’t want to acknowledge.

“That’s in my past. She doesn’t need to know.”

“I think it would help her to understand.”

I shook my head. “No.”

“All right?—”

I turned and looked at the doctor and said, “I mean, no…I can’t do it, but maybe you can.”

He studied me for a long time and then nodded. “I’ll tell her.”

“Thank you.”

I left the room, finding the air too thick to breathe. My thoughts were jumbled. I felt that my past and my present were going to collide and I wasn’t ready. The doctor was right. She deserved to know, but I couldn’t be the one to tell her.

The pain wasn’t as raw, but it was still there. It was shoved deep down inside until I felt that I could just forget, but it resurfaced whenever it pleased, scaring me with its intensity.

She needed to know, but it wouldn’t come from me.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and made my way back to the room, pausing at the door. They were talking…talking about Vicky.

Her full name was Victoria Remington. I had met her at a bar. She’d been a bartender, and I had been working as a bouncer at the time, trying to make my own way. We’d become friends.

She was only bartending during the summer and had plans to go to college that fall. Except a reckless one-night stand between the two of us left us with a situation.

She got pregnant. And I had the stupid idea to join the family business to give my kid a future. I wasn’t making enough money as a bouncer and I cared too much about Vicky to make her struggle alone.

She was my friend. My only friend.

So, I got back into the family business, started working with my father’s old friends, and introduced the doctor to Vicky, who couldn’t afford any medical care. Almost exactly nine months later, while I was overseas making alliances to expand the business, I received a call that still made me feel sick inside.

A local business rival had tried to take her and the baby hostage. There had been a struggle, a car chase, and they had both died. They had been snuffed out in an instant, all due to my line of work. I had done everything right to keep them safe, and it hadn’t been enough.

I threw myself into work. I didn’t go to the funeral. I couldn’t. The pain was too much to bear. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to hold my child.

I pushed past the pain and listened to the doctor talking to Mya.

“They both died?” I could hear Mya ask with sadness in her voice.

“Yes, and he felt like it was his fault. He felt that he didn’t protect them well enough.”

“But he did everything that he could,” she said.

“Yes, but I’m sure you can understand how he felt. Now you can probably understand why he’s tried so hard to keep you safe, even if you hated it.”

“Yes,” she said, her voice small.

“I offered you a safe place to escape to because I knew that I could keep tabs on you if you came to me. I knew I could keep Dario informed of your whereabouts. But I could never have kept you safe enough long-term.”

There was a little silence.

“I can see that now,” she said, her voice stronger.

I came through the door.

They turned and looked at me. Mya’s eyes were red. She’d been crying.

Dammit. I hadn’t meant to upset her.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “About Vicky…about the baby. I thought Vicky was your mother. I didn’t know?—”

I frowned, “My mother? Why would you think that?”

“Because of something Nico said…he mentioned her to me. I think they organized the kidnapping, Dario. I think your brothers caused her death.”

For years, I didn’t let myself think about them or what I had lost…and to know my brothers had hated me so much that he took all that away from me, hurt more than I cared to think.

But I knew I couldn’t have fully embraced Mya and my daughter without first honoring the memory of Vicky and my son. And that started with talking about them, something I had never been able to do before. Until now.

“I lost a lot that day,” I said, “And the pain will always be there…but I can’t keep looking behind me. I need to honor their memory but keep pushing forward.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it tight. “Dr. Kali …speaking of pushing…I uh think it’s time.”

He ran over and looked under her gown and said, “Well, that was fast. Let’s deliver a baby, shall we?”

It could have been minutes or hours as Mya delivered our baby. All I knew was that it was an intense and emotional experience. One moment, I was holding Mya’s hand as she pushed over and over and the next, she was screaming as she brought our daughter into the world.

Dr. Kali was crying, and so was Mya, but I just stared at the baby that Mya nestled against her chest. A baby that was the most remarkable, precious gift in the world.

I would give my life for this little girl. For this little girl, I vowed to do better and be better. It was time to fully let go of the life I had known and embrace the new challenge of fatherhood.

“My baby girl…” I touched her cheek, and her eyes met mine. A wave of emotions seized me. Awe. Fear. Love. I reached out a finger, and she gripped it, never taking her eyes off me.

“I knew it,” Mya said dozing off. “She’s a daddy’s girl.”