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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Mya

My mind felt jumbled. Every day I woke up more and more depressed.

I felt so hopeless. I didn’t know if Dr. Kali was okay. I didn’t know what was next for me or for the baby. I just knew that I wanted a chance to wake up from the nightmare I was living.

I didn’t believe Jason was capable of doing anything illegal. But I’d seen the accounts, I’d heard Dario’s words. I still couldn’t accept that Jason would do anything even remotely wrong.

When he became an officer, he had found his calling. He wouldn’t have just thrown that all away, right?

I placed my hand under my chin and thought about those last months of Jason’s life.

He’d been withdrawn and moody quite frequently, but I wasn’t the type to pry into his work life. I’d tried to cheer him up, and just assumed work was more draining for him than usual and that he needed some down time to recharge.

I’d given him his space, assuming that’s what he needed. There were times when I felt I needed space, too. I had assumed it was the just the ups and downs of marriage. Every marriage had its problems, right?

I thought we would just work through our issues with time, but boy, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Time hadn’t been on our side, or on Jason’s side, for that matter.

Now part of me felt guilty for ignoring the signs. Maybe if I had pried, if I had shown an interest in his work, he would still be alive. I’d blamed Dario for sitting idly by and not doing anything to prevent Jason’s death, but was I guilty of the same?

Had I been so wrapped up in my own life that I hadn’t noticed when my husband needed help?

What kind of wife was I? I should have done more. Been more.

Jason had been there for me in my darkest hour, yet when he needed me the most, I hadn’t been there for him. It made me feel like a failure. Why hadn’t he talked to me?

Why hadn’t he told me what was going on? I’d pushed him away after my mom’s death. I’d made my life and his a living hell for quite a while there, and he had still been there for me.

Maybe I wasn’t who I thought I was. Maybe I had been a toxic presence in Jason’s life. He’d been on a different path until that day he bailed me out of jail. If I hadn’t ended up there, maybe he’d never have decided to get into law enforcement.

And then he would have been safe. Maybe he would have chosen a different career, one where his life wasn’t in danger.

I knew beating myself up wouldn’t bring him back, but I didn’t know who else to blame. I was his wife, his only next of kin, and I’d failed him. Things could have been so different if I’d seen the signs and acted on them.

Now, I was married to the man who could have prevented it all but chose not to. I’d seen the letter. I knew Jason had asked for help and gotten none.

It was unfair.

At the end of the day, Dario’s whole family had either directly or indirectly been responsible for Jason’s death. I thought back to that day at the restaurant when Dario had stabbed that man. From what I could gather from the conversation, Dario had a lot of enemies.

He wasn’t popular. He was feared.

What was the old saying? “The enemy of my enemy was my friend.”

I paused, but was Dario my enemy? Before my conscience could delve further into that question, I let my brain do the talking and told my heart to stay out of it.

Yes, Dario was the enemy. He’d forced me into a marriage I didn’t want. He’d left Jason to die when he could have intervened. Dario didn’t deserve my loyalty…or my care. I had to remember that.

But my mind kept reminding me of the moment in the hospital where his hands had rested gently on my belly. The gentleness had caught me off guard. The entire gesture had been unexpected, not like the person I thought I knew.

I thought of the lovemaking we had shared just a few days before. I had never experienced anything like that before. Could a man who made love to me like that really have such evil intentions?

Maybe you don’t really know Dario at all. Maybe he’s not the villain you think he is.

I felt conflicted at that thought. Was I about to make a mistake?

It was hard trying to figure out how to get at the truth I wanted, but I’d finally figured out step one to accomplish my mission. He’d made the mistake of trusting me with his phone again.

As soon as I got a moment alone, I called Luis and asked for a list of all known associates of the Di Ceccos. He had asked why, and I couldn’t come up with a good enough reason.

He sighed and said, “Just be careful.”

He promised to call me back in ten minutes, and when he did, he provided me with more information than I thought I needed.

It was surprisingly easy to get Dario to do as I asked. I’d expected some pushback when I requested to host something fun, like dinner or a gala. Instead, he jumped at the idea.

Perhaps, he was getting tired of being around me for twenty-four hours a day.

A week later, I was at a fancy hotel in the middle of the city, waiting to welcome our guests. Under different circumstances, I would have been afraid of saying the wrong thing and embarrassing myself, or worse.

I would have spent the evening hiding from everyone and hovering around the buffet table, but tonight was different. I’d memorized names and faces. Surely, some of them would attend the dinner, and I could get at the information I needed.

The alcohol at the party would get people talking, and Dario’s tight reins would start to loosen. All it took was one little crack in a dam to make it all fall apart.

Today, I planned to make a huge crack.

Two hours later, I was exhausted. Being pregnant and socializing was unexpectedly difficult. I found it hard to focus on what anyone was saying, and the need to go to the bathroom a million times cutting several important conversations short.

After my first lie, the others just rolled off my tongue. I guess I was getting used to being a liar.

It came second nature to me, apparently. That wasn’t anything to be proud of, but for now, it would serve its purpose.

I found out that there were lots of crooked cops earning their cut from Matteo and Nico’s coffers. Not a single person indicated that Dario had any cops on his payroll.

I found out that Dario didn’t sell drugs, and that he didn’t have anything to do with the jobs that Matteo and Nico ran.

I was surprised. I had expected that Dario would be just as unscrupulous as his brothers. Had he been telling the truth when he said he didn’t really know anything about Jason or his dealings with Nico and Matteo?

The night after the dinner, Ivan came up to me and requested that I pack a small bag because it was time to relocate again.

I frowned. “Relocate?”

“Yes, I’m afraid there’s been an attempt on Dario’s life.”