Page 10

I never had a real kiss before. I wasn’t just referring to the physical crashing of lips, but rather something warm, comforting, and intimate. And for a second, I thought this might be it.

But then again, I wasn’t even sure if one could classify my attack as a kiss, either.

The truth was, I’d attacked Damen, desperate for something just out of reach. Even the feeling of his hard chest under my fingers hadn’t been enough to satisfy these urges. Such a direct response had been the only solution.

But the instant his soft lips met mine, my actions shocked me into immobility. Because it couldn’t be denied that, in my anger, I had molested him.

This was the worst, but it was also the best feeling ever.

This experience was both strange and exciting, even though, as the awkward seconds passed, my partner did not respond. But just as I was about to withdraw and apologize profusely and with great repentance, Damen sprang to life.

His scent surrounded me as he pressed forward. His mouth moved over mine as he took control and turned it against me. His response rekindled my desire, and I needed to touch him.

His hair was soft and silky under my fingertips, and his arms were rigid. This time, I didn’t hesitate, and when Damen pushed me to the mattress, not breaking his mouth from mine, I was lost.

A burning spread where our mouths touched, and despite being pinned to the bed and feeling his weight over me, I wasn’t scared at all.

Instead, the contact made me yearn for more.

I pressed my hips into his. My fingers seemed to move on their own, unbuttoning his shirt as I sought out bare skin.

A pulse raced through me as my palm brushed over the mark that was so much like mine.

I wasn’t the only one who lost control. His presence was everywhere. One hand pressed my hair away from my face and cupped the back of my head, and the fingers of his other entwined in my own.

For the first time, it occurred to me that he had been holding back, even when he’d been so pushy in the past.

I was breathless when he pulled away, but I hardly had time to do more than inhale before his mouth trailed over my jaw. He grazed his teeth over my skin while whispering words I couldn’t understand under his breath.

It was too much.

“What’s that?” I asked, surprised at how shaky my voice came out. “What are you saying?”

He froze, his mouth pressed over the corner of my jaw before he pushed up. He held himself up with one arm. He touched me with his other hand, running his thumb over the hollow dip near my eye. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You were saying something,” I said. I didn’t want to ruin this moment, but at the same time, the blush that grew over Damen’s face intrigued me. “What was it? ”

“Nothing,” Damen said, looking to the side.

Now I needed to know. “What language was that?”

“None.” Damen continued to avoid my gaze.

He was wrong. “I’m pretty sure that was Chinese,” I told him. “Did you take Chinese?”

Damen’s gaze drifted back to me, to my mouth, but I put my finger to his lips before he could distract me. “Tell me,” I commanded.

He groaned but didn’t move away as he responded. “We’ve been reincarnated into almost every culture. But in our first lives, we were born into what is now known as modern-day China. You understand this already.”

“I know that,” I said. “But is that why you learned Chinese? To honor that life?”

“Even though we’re ourselves in each life—I’m Damen, you’re Bianca—our first lives shaped who we fundamentally are and hold the strongest memories.

” Damen moved his hand from my face to hold himself with both arms over me.

“One day, you’ll remember when I was Huo and you were Mu, and all the lives after that.

Those memories lay the foundation for everything we are.

” He held up his finger, cutting off my beginning protest. “And certain things, like language and mannerisms, they’re already part of you whether you’ve fully remembered or not. ”

“So.” This could be a favorable development. My academic career might not be lost. “I’ll just start knowing Chinese?”

“Well, Archaic Chinese, but yes.” Damen raised his eyebrow. I attempted to ignore his judgy look.

“Close enough!” I waved him off. This was excellent. “Don’t they have Mandarin at our school?”

“You are not switching your foreign language elective,” Damen drawled, the judgmental expression remaining. “That’s cheating. Besides, it’s not the same. ”

Yeah, he totally couldn’t stop me. But still… “You’re no fun.” I frowned at him.

“My father wouldn’t let me,” Damen said. “He said I’d be using an unfair advantage for—”

“That sounds like a ‘you’ problem,” I interrupted, even more annoyed now. Because if his father had to refuse, it meant he’d tried. And now he was lecturing me? “No one can stop me from doing it. You’re not my dad.”

Damen’s mouth thinned, and his gaze flicked to the side. When he looked back at me, it seemed that, within that instant, he had made up his mind about something. “You need to eat.”

This again. “You can’t make me.”

I expected him to argue, but instead, he kissed me again. This time the feeling of his mouth over mine was far more aggressive. And the passion that had been fading fanned into an inferno.

I was still annoyed at him for continuously trying to boss me around, but my reason was soon lost. The only thing that mattered was him. His kisses stirred feelings that were both wonderful and strange.

But then his hand moved down, and his fingers lightly touched my stomach. At first, it felt nice. The warmth of his hand against me was comforting, and the small movement caused my muscles to twitch under his touch.

Then, without warning or reason, the feeling vanished, and a familiar terror rose up instead. My blood turned to ice.

This was no longer enjoyable in any way, and I was suffocating.

“No.” I pulled back. My heart stuttered dangerously as my mouth tore from his. Blackness crept into the edges of my vision. It wasn’t Damen over me anymore. Instead, it was him . I couldn’t see from fear and pain, and my arms and legs felt heavy.

I was going to be sick .

Damen had frozen over me, and I could barely hear his formless words. Everything felt distant and unreal. My thoughts raced, and I tried to grasp anything that might keep me safe.

Then I remembered.

“Pineapple,” I gasped. I was so grateful for Julian’s brilliant thinking. “Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple!”

The weight vanished, and Damen was gone.

Even so, it felt like an eternity before my heart stopped thundering in my ears. The darkness took longer to fall away from my eyes, and a hollow feeling remained when the panic subsided.

The room slowly returned to focus: the bright white ceiling and plain walls. I was alone on the bed, and my limbs felt weak as I rolled to my side and wiped my eyes with my shaking arms.

My face and neck were wet, and I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying.

Then I remembered Damen, and the silence caused me to forget about myself. I sat up.

He sat on a chair on the other side of the room, his face in his hands and elbows braced against his knees. I’d never seen him so still. The line of strain that radiated from him was almost palpable, and a dark energy emanated from his general direction.

I’d upset him.

My pulse thrummed. I didn’t mean to make him angry. “D-D-Damen?”

His head snapped up, and his face was unreadable as his gaze met mine. The expression faded, turning into concern. “Bianca.”

Within a blink, he was kneeling beside me. He’d started to reach for me but paused. “Are you all right?” he asked instead. He seemed to regret his words the second he asked and muttered, “That’s a stupid question, of course…”

I wasn’t sure what to say .

He had to think I was crazy. There was no way I hadn’t ruined everything.

But as he held my gaze, I realized he wasn’t expecting me to say anything. I wasn’t sure why, but I was beginning to suspect he didn’t think any less of me.

“Do you mind if…” he began, attention moving over my face. There was a slight hesitation in his voice as he continued. “Do you want me to hold you? Or would you rather be alone?”

I wasn’t sure what possessed me to do it, but I raised my arms to him. He wasted no time climbing on the bed and pulling me into his lap.

“Oh, baby,” he said in a sad, rumbly voice. He held me against him so tightly that I might break. “I’m so, so sorry.”

He was shaking. “It-it’s not your fault,” I said, my voice wavering, and his hold grew even tighter. “I’ll be okay.”

“You will be okay.” It almost sounded like a command. There was not an ounce of doubt in his voice. “Because you’re the strongest person I know.”

I couldn’t stop shivering. I wasn’t certain why he’d say something so strange.

But I had no energy left to argue. These episodes always left me feeling weak. It took everything I had to rest my face against his chest and focus on his breathing.

He was wrong, but it was nice of him to say. It made me feel a little less pathetic, in any case.

Miles POV

Jonathon ignored me when I reached out, and—since there was no way I was at his level yet—there was zero chance I’d be able to bring him back under my control right now. I had to think of another way to help Bianca.

They didn’t understand. Bianca was fae, and fae were not meant to be imprisoned.

Keeping her trapped—and forced to confront her trauma—was the furthest thing from helpful.

Plus, our quintet was different from all others.

She would only get better if she was with us.

Only then could our bond support her and she could move forward.

I needed to find some way to get her out of there.

The problem was the law. The seemingly ironclad order gave Jonathon and Abigail a limited conservatorship to make medical decisions on Bianca’s behalf. But they were wrong. Bianca was perfectly capable of seeing the logic in things. Despite what they claimed, she was not a danger to herself.