Page 31

Thirty

Knox

I ’m so ready to be home. It’s been a week since I’ve seen Ryder in person, and I’m dying to touch him. Having the Vers app and texts for when we’re both on the road has helped us stay connected, but there is nothing like having my hands on the man I’m crazy in love with.

It’s late, and I don't expect Ryder to be up, so when I quietly open the door and see the glow of candles, I’m taken by surprise. I push the door open all the way and gasp at the view. Candles line every surface, with roses and flowers in vases artfully staged around the room, the heady floral fragrance surrounding me as I step inside. Rose petals are scattered on the floor, and sultry music that sounds more like one of my playlists than Ryder’s is playing softly from somewhere.

“Baby?” I call, looking for the big dumb idiot who made me fall in love with him despite our past and has a big romantic side after all.

Soft steps come from the hallway, and Ryder appears a moment later, wearing one of his game day suits, looking hot as hell in deep green. The suit hugs his frame perfectly and sets off his eyes so they sparkle like molten emeralds in the low light. His hair is less wild, pushed away from his face, and I long to run my fingers through those waves to send them back into disarray. His smile is wide and full of longing and damn does it set me on fire to see that look on his face for me.

I set my bags down, needing to hold him. He meets me halfway, pulling me close and capturing my mouth in a fierce kiss that is all Ryder—a clash of lips, a tangle of tongues, and the sweetest taste I’ve ever experienced. He drinks me in, sweeping me up in the exuberance of his welcome home, and fuck, does it feel good to have someone to come home to like this. To someone who wants me like this. Someone who knows how badly I need to be wanted like this. When we break apart, it’s with heaving chests from our breathless encounter as Ryder buries his face in my neck and inhales me deeply.

“That’s a hell of a way to be welcomed home,” I tell him, sliding my hands up into his hair finally as he nuzzles his nose against me.

“God, I’ve fucking missed you. I couldn’t sleep on the road even with one of your shirts doused in your cologne, and your bed is too big without you in it next to me.” He grips me tighter, his arms wrapping around me, fingers digging in almost painfully. “Fuck, Knox, I can’t lose you,” he continues, his voice ardent, panicked, and desperate now. “I don't know what’s going to happen at the end of your season or what you want to do, but I’m going to be selfish and just say it. If you don't stay in Atlanta for the Condors, stay for me.” He pulls his face out of my neck and finally looks at me, his lip quivering and his eyes wide with the act of laying his most anguished thoughts out for me to see.

My heart jumps against my ribs, straining to reach into Ryder’s chest and hold his breaking heart. My boy needs me.

“Hey, baby, don’t look like that.” I run my fingers through his hair and take his hand, leading him to the couch and sitting with him.

“I just fucked that all up. I had it all planned out. I set this up so I could welcome you home and show you how badly I want you here, and then I was going to give you this speech I’d worked on that explained why it could work out this way. I even had a list of what you could do, even though I’d be asking you to give up something you love so much. Instead, I just let my fucking mouth run again.” He drops his face into his hands and sighs as I rub his back.

“So the selfish option won out again?” I ask, smiling. It’s so on brand and true to the Ryder I know and love.

“Looks like I’m truly unteachable, even after all these months with you,” he says miserably. “Please don't hate me for asking you to give up everything for me. I…I understand if that’s not what you want. I just needed you to know where I stand with us and what I want .”

I tip his chin up with my finger, getting him to look at me again. I kiss him gently, and he eagerly takes the affection before I pull back. “I already told Mark that I won't be taking a contract with another team, even if Atlanta doesn't extend. I’ll retire at the end of this season if that happens. I want to stay with you, too.”

His face transforms from distressed to glowing with jubilation. “Are you serious? You’re staying?”

“Yeah, baby. I want to be here with you. I want to spend time with you when you’re home, or bring your lucky socks to the arena if you forget them. I want to work at the Elysium Gardens with you and have ice cream dates after. I want to make you pre-game meals and sit behind the goal at all your games so I can watch your ass and cheer when you win or hold you if you lose. I just want to do life with you in whatever way that looks like for us, and maybe even have a family someday,” I finish, allowing my shiny, bright dream to peek out of my heart just a little bit to see if it warms Ryder’s heart the same way.

“You’d want a family with me ?” he asks, stunned. “But the way I grew up…my dad…what if I’m…” He looks down, shame weighing heavily on his shoulders as he’s unable to finish voicing his fears, but I know.

“Ryder, you’re not your dad, and you would never hurt anyone the way he hurt you. I would love to have a family with you and watch you raise a kid to be an incredible, funny, strong, and caring person. You love with everything in you, and it would be an honor to share that love with another little soul who needs it so badly. Just look at what you did for your goldfish.”

“God, you would be the absolute best fucking dad,” Ryder says, looking at me with awe. “I can't wait to watch you with our kids and see how perfect they turn out. Golden children for my Golden Boy.” He smiles wide and looks at the fish tank in the corner. “You know I named the fish Goldie in your honor, too, right? Not just for Goldie Hawn?”

“Oh, shut up, you did not.” I laugh and push his chest, thankful once again for his gift of levity when the mood gets too heavy.

“No, really, I did. Goldie for my Golden Boy. But enough about the fish. I need to fuck you because planning out our future has my dick so fucking hard, and I’ve missed you more than I have words for, so let me show you.”

He stands and pulls me to my feet, then leads me down the hallway to our room. He’s fully moved into mine at this point. Seeing his clothes next to mine in the closet and the canvas print of Goldie on the dresser makes it feel so much more real that this is my life now. It feels more like coming home than it ever has before.

Ryder and I work the knots of our ties and strip out of the suits we’re wearing, mine from traveling, his from his romantic setup to win me over. Once we’re free of all the layers, we attack each other for real. He tackles me onto the bed, laughing as his hands roam and his lips trace over my skin. He rubs his face against my chest and moans, sending a shockwave of lust streaking through me and all the blood in my body rushing to my cock. His soft beard scratches along my skin in direct contrast to his pillowy lips and wet tongue tracing my abs and heading straight for the V lines he loves so much.

My cock is jerking erratically as he hits sensitive spots, tickling and then making me hiss when he bites my hip. All the sounds leave me when he puts my cock in his warm mouth and sucks the ability to speak right out of me. My head drops back and my eyes close in ecstasy as he works me over, licking and sucking along my shaft and playing with my balls until I think I’ll combust from the overload of incredible sensations. It feels too good in his warm mouth, with his tongue teasing the sensitive head of my cock. I grip his hair and pull him off my dick with a wet pop that pains me as much as it seems to disappoint him to lose his mouthful of cock.

“Ryder, we’ve been apart too long for me to come in your mouth the second I get home. I want you to be buried deep inside of me, coming with me.”

“God, I fucking love you so much,” Ryder says, kissing my hip before hopping off the bed and returning a second later with lube. “Come up here with me,” he says, moving to the head of the bed and motioning me to follow.

I position myself on the pillows next to him, and he kisses me like he can't stop himself, then rips his mouth away with effort and smiles. He rolls me onto my side away from him and kisses my shoulder as he lubes his cock and plays with my ass until I’m pushing back and writhing, needing him inside me.

“I’m ready for you, baby. Please, I need you to fuck me. I’m desperate to have your big cock splitting me open again,” I beg, pushing my ass back into him, seeking out the pressure and friction I want so badly.

“You beg so pretty for me, Knox. God, I fucking love hearing you needy. I’ll fill you up and come so deep you’ll feel me for days.”

I feel him at my entrance as I arch my back, needing more. He parts my legs, pushing his thigh between mine, and drives into me slowly. The stretch is delicious, and I moan as he fills me with short thrusts of his powerful hips that have me seeing stars and crying his name in ecstasy already.

“Fuck, Ryder. Yes, like that, baby. Harder, please use me. I need you to own me, make me yours,” I cry, lost to the pleasure of Ryder’s body covering mine from shoulder to ankles, his big arm holding me tight around my waist, fisting my cock as he drives deep and hard into me.

“How are you so tight and perfect,” he groans into my ear, his face buried in my neck as he takes ragged breaths, inhaling against my skin like a junkie looking for a fix. “You’re mine, Knox. God, you’re all mine and I’m yours.”

He bites into my trap, the sharp pain a stark contrast to my entire body being lit up like a Christmas tree from the pleasure he’s infusing into my system. Every nerve ending is alive, the energy of Ryder powering me like a live wire connected to the largest power bank imaginable—endless love and devotion from someone who knows you better than anyone.

“Baby, I’m right there,” I groan, reaching back and gripping his thigh, pulling him tighter against me. His thrusts turn jerky, and I feel the impossible swell of him inside me as he squeezes my cock and works me in short tugs.

My release comes in waves that feel prismatic, hot ropes of cum coating his fingers as he strokes his fist over the head of my cock, finishing me off. His groan is muffled, his mouth still pressed against my skin where he bit me, as his hips snap against my ass and still, his cock spasming as he paints my insides with his release.

His heart beats against my back, mine syncing to his rhythm like a familiar song, and our breaths slowly even out as he holds me tight and kisses along my neck and shoulder. I grab the towel he put on the side of the bed and clean up as he pulls out of me and groans in delight, watching the mess he made of me.

“You’re such a dirty monster,” I tell him with a laugh, knowing what he’s enjoying.

“I love seeing your ass marked with my cum, Knox. You have no idea what it does to me.”

“Oh, trust me, baby, I know.” I toss the towel to him, and he cleans up the rest before he tucks himself in against my side, throwing his leg over mine, and lets me wrap my arms around him. “This should always be our life together,” I say quietly into his hair as he rests his head on my chest. “I want us coming home to each other, fucking like maniacs, and so in love we make people sick to see us because they want what we have.”

Ryder raises his head and looks at me with excitement in his eyes. “Let’s show the world what this love looks like. Hard launch us. Now.” He sits up all the way and starts looking for his phone amongst the clothes scattered on the ground. “Let’s take a photo right now and put it on our socials. We’ll tell everyone that I was such a hateful douchebag because I couldn’t admit what I wanted and who I am, so I hated that part of myself, never you, but I took it out on you anyway. Your sensitivity training and lessons helped me overcome my dickery and internalized hate to acknowledge what I truly wanted while learning about acceptance, or whatever better way you can say it. I don’t want to suppress that part of myself anymore. I want people to know we have feelings for one another and want to be together.”

“You want to take a photo right now and post it on socials?” I ask, pointedly looking at his dick.

He looks down, then at my dick, and shrugs. “It would get the point across really fucking well that we love each other if they realize we’re naked in bed together, right?”

I laugh as he comes back to bed with his phone in hand and curls up in my arms again. “I am not taking photos of us naked to post online, Reckless,” I tell him, using the old nickname so he knows he’s not thinking this through. “It’s one thing to jack off together on an app or send spicy photos to each other, but baby, think about it. We can do this so much better.” I chuckle at his frown now that I refuse to go along with his impulsive idea. “I have a whole folder on my phone called Fire Photos of Kingsy where I’ll save anything you take right now for my private use, but let’s not scandalize the professional sports world with our racy selfie from bed, okay?”

In the end, we take the photos anyway, because our love should be documented in a way we can look back on anytime we want. I manage to convince Ryder not to post them at midnight to his social media like a psycho. A psycho in love, but still a crazy man. We do, however, find time to take fully clothed photos the next day, me sitting behind Ryder with his head on my shoulder, face turned toward mine as he smiles with Goldie in her fish tank next to us. We post to both our socials with a caption that includes the two guys holding hands emoji and reads Sometimes, your family looks a little different, but the love is just as big. It was a long, bumpy road to get here, but the journey is where all the memories are made. Looking forward to all the future holds for us.