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Twenty-nine

Ryder

K nox and I walk into the Dirty Bird with Westy, Campbell, Rook, Nico, and Lilah. It feels like I’m coming full circle when we end up at a booth in the same section as the last time the team was here for our coach-mandated bonding experiment. Lilah goes with Campbell and Rook to place an order for our group, while Westy and Nico get into a heated argument about the best early two-thousand boy bands, allowing me a moment to reflect on the last several months.

Two men come up to the table with their eyes fixed on Knox. Instinctively, I turn my body to block him from them, not sure of their intentions .

“Knox Contraire?” one man in a Condors T-shirt asks as he nervously shifts from foot to foot.

Knox puts his hand on my shoulder and gently eases me back. I do so grudgingly, still not comfortable allowing anyone to have access to him without being between them.

“Yeah, that’s me. What can I do for you guys tonight?” he asks pleasantly, though with a reservation that I can pick up because I’m used to his moods now.

“We just wanted to say how brave you are, and how much we admire you. We’ve been together for a few months now. Reading your story helped give us the courage to tell our families about our relationship. Thank you,” the second man says, grasping the hand of the first man who spoke and lacing their fingers.

I hear Knox swallow next to me, and I feel my own chest tightening. “Thank you for saying that. It means the world to me to know that I had any kind of positive contribution to your lives. I hope telling your families has made you both happier.”

“It really has,” the first man says, looking at his boyfriend. “Charlie and I are still kind of new to this, but having our families know has taken so much pressure off.”

“I won’t let Danny talk your ear off any longer. We're big fans and just wanted to thank you. Hope you have a good night, and you get the love you're looking for,” Charlie says, before pulling Danny away from our booth toward the bar exit .

“That’s crazy,” I say quietly when Charlie and Danny have gone. “Has that happened before?

“It’s been happening a lot, actually. People will come up to me after games, or when I’m out and about, and tell me how I’ve influenced or affected them. I didn’t realize Lilah’s article or my coming out would have any sort of ripple effect. I just thought it would make my team hate me and people turn their backs on me. Instead, the team has been amazingly supportive, and more people are cool than not, even though some are still hateful dicks.”

My heart hurts when I hear him say that, because it’s what I did to him in high school, and even a few months ago.

“You know, this is where I was sitting when I watched you fumble that pass and opened my stupid mouth that got me in so much trouble and made me go viral,” I confess, my chin on his shoulder as I look around the bar, which isn’t super crowded. I make sure there aren't any phones pointed at me this time. Not that it would matter. There won't be any slurs coming out of my mouth ever again, but I want us to be the ones to break the news of our relationship, rather than some nosy asshole with a phone and internet access.

“You know this is a Condors bar, right? The name kind of gives it away. Football fans come here for watch parties when we have games,” Knox says, looking around. He was nervous to come here when I told him where we were going because he thought he’d get recognized by fans, which he clearly already has. “It’s no wonder someone filmed you and put you on blast when you said what you did. You were in the wrong territory to be saying something bad about their team during a game,” he finishes with a laugh.

“I should have known, but I wasn't thinking, which has always been my problem.” I slide my hand along his inner thigh of the leg that’s resting against mine and tuck my fingers under his balls for a quick squeeze.

“Watch your hands, baby, or we’ll have a big problem,” he reminds me. “You’re the one who wanted to go out to celebrate. We could have gone home just as easily.”

I groan and move my hand back to more neutral territory, knowing he’s right. “Fine, I’ll behave,” I agree, kissing his neck quickly, hoping I wasn’t too obvious. It’s really hard to stop touching him. “When that video got out, I thought I'd just cost myself my future. The Hydras looked at me like I was nuclear waste. I lost my place to live, and it felt like everyone was against me. But it looks like I was unknowingly securing an even better future. Mark putting us together was the best thing that ever happened to me,” I tell him earnestly.

Knox’s eyes go soft before flashing with recognition. “Oh, shit, Mark called me during the game. I forgot to call him back. It’s kind of late, but he’s on the West Coast and usually up. I’ll call him now.”

He pulls his phone from his pocket and dials our agent. I watch curiously, wondering if he’ll even be able to hear over the late-night bar noise. I can only hear Knox’s side of the conversation, which proves infuriating as the conversation goes on.

“Hey, Mark, sorry I was at Ryder’s game.” Pause . “Yeah, things are going well.” Pause . “No, he’s been great.” He chuckles at something Mark says. “Oh, we’re really getting along.” He listens intently for a longer stretch, his forehead creasing, and his smile dropping as Mark goes on. “Okay. That’s a lot to think about.” Pause. “Yeah, I’ll take some time.” Pause . “Of course, I know it’s almost everything I wanted.” Pause. “Alright, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

What the fuck is Mark telling him? Did he get dropped by his sponsors? Or did he get a new one like the Vers campaign? Is it something with the team? When Knox hangs up, I’m about ready to drag him out of the bar to have him describe in agonizing detail what that call was about .

“Knox, you better start explaining what he said, because I don’t like that look on your face. My mind is spinning through worst-case scenarios here,” I tell him immediately.

He passes a hand over his face and sighs. “Mark has been working on my contract details since this is a negotiation year. The Condors haven't committed to my requests. Mark has been shopping me around to have offers in case they don't want to renew. Chicago and Arizona have made two-year offers already with everything I want. I may end up having to leave Atlanta.” He rolls his lips in and lets them slide out again, a nervous tell when he doesn't know what to say. I love that I know him so well to have picked that up, but hate that he’s doing it now because of this.

“You could leave?” I repeat, the thought of losing Knox so soon after getting him back hits me like a sledgehammer to the gut. It’s hard to breathe around the knowledge that I wouldn't be able to come home to him, even with our crazy schedules. I took for granted that we would both be in the same city for the remainder of our careers, retiring from our respective sports, and then figuring out what came next together. It hadn't even crossed my mind that we could be separated, despite the ever-present fear of being traded and now losing the security of remaining with his current team.

“It’s a possibility,” Knox says, running a hand over his head and sliding it down the back of his neck as he blows out a breath. “I’d planned to play a few more seasons with Atlanta, but if they don't want to renew my contract, I won't have a choice but to find a team willing to take me. I’m healthy now, and I have great stats, but I have a limited shelf life at this point in my career, so I’m not the prize most teams are looking for. It’s great to have two teams showing this much interest in me, honestly.”

That’s the worst part about professional sports—the short-lived careers that can be made even shorter by injuries. We have to play as hard as we can, for as long as we can, and make the most of the time we’re given with the teams that will have us, which is how I ended up here in Atlanta, anyway.

“The Condors would be fucking stupid to let you go,” I say with righteous anger as Lilah and the guys come back with trays of wings, buckets of beer, and a red cocktail that she puts in front of Knox.

“It’s the Crazy Condor,” Lilah says. “It’s Southern Comfort, gin, and sweet stuff. A badass cocktail for my badass bestie who doesn't drink beer.” She drops a kiss to the top of his head and moves to the other side of the booth to slide in beside Nico.

“Don’t kiss my boyfriend,” I snap at her, on edge from the call, before turning back to Knox. “Wait, how does she know you don't drink beer and I’m only just finding out?”

“We’ve actually gone out for drinks, and she asks?” he replies with a shrug.

“Okay, fine, now I know. But what are you going to do about the contract?” I ask.

“I don't know yet. I have another month or two of the season, so I don't have to decide right away. But this isn’t what I had planned, baby. Can we talk about it later? I want you to celebrate, not be worried about my contract when we only have tonight together before you leave for a road trip tomorrow afternoon, and I won't see you for a week.”

“Yeah, sure,” I agree reluctantly, because there’s nothing else to do.

So we put on the fakest smiles and face my teammates, celebrating a win that had put me on a high, only to be dragged back to earth by the reality of life with a man in another professional sport. The impermanence of our situation hammers home the one truth I can bank on at the moment: I need to love the hell out of him as much as I can .

When the group parts later, I know how I want to spend the remainder of my night. “Take me home and fuck me,” I tell Knox as we walk hand-in-hand to my SUV.

He stops, pushing me against the wall of the closest building, and in the amber glow of the streetlight, caresses my face like a man holding his most priceless possession. “Are you sure you’re ready for that? It’s a bit intense, and I don't mind what we have.”

Taking his hand, I slide it down to my throat as I stare him straight in the eye. “I want your cock buried so deep in my ass you’re knocking on my sternum because I want to be marked as yours more than anything. I’ll take that ache with me on the road and think of you every time I feel the slightest tenderness.” I can't wait for him to tear me up.

“Let’s get you home, then,” Knox says with his soft like leather smile as he squeezes my throat and kisses me.

When we get to the condo, my mind is spinning with the new information I have on bottoming. Knox educated me on a few things and gave me some tips on how to prep, so I’m about to spend a bit of time doing self-care in the bathroom. I’m not afraid or resistant to the idea of taking it up the ass as part of some masculine bullshit, because this is Knox, and when it comes to him, there’s nothing I wouldn't do. But this is virgin territory we’re treading, and he wants to take care of me this time. It’s weird being on this side of the physical line after leading us through it so far, but Knox is confident, and it’s sexy as hell, despite what I’m doing to get myself ready for him.

When I walk into the bedroom, Knox has candles lit and a sexy playlist on, and damn if that cliché bullshit doesn’t work. Seeing my man stretched out on the bed in just a pair of black boxer briefs, with his gorgeous velvety soft skin gleaming in the low light, has my cock instantly hardening. He’s propped up on his elbow, casual as can be, as my heart races like a breakaway play is happening right in front of me, and I’ve lost sight of the puck. Only, it’s all excitement that has my heart rate hitting my max now.

“You are my walking, breathing fantasy, Ryder Kingston. I want you right here, in my arms in three seconds or I’ll show you what else I can do to that ass before I fuck it,” Knox says in his impossibly deep, smooth voice that sends shivers racing along my skin and lighting up every nerve ending with awareness of him. His scent is stronger than the candles, enveloping me and pulling me toward the bed.

I move up toward him as if on a string that’s been retracted at lightning speed, and fall into his arms as he smiles sinfully. Yeah, I’m not opposed to whatever he’s threatening, but I think I want what we’ve discussed even more tonight than to fuck around and find out what my sweet, devoted man can do when he really gets into his HandyManCan persona.

“Fast enough for the fastest tight end in the NFL?” I ask, taunting him with one of his player stats I’ve kept in my mind for years. His eyes widen as if he didn’t think I would care or pay attention. “Yeah, that’s right, I’ve followed your career. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished and done. You are insanely talented. You’re remarkable, Knox. Turns out I was the one obsessed all along.”

Knox ducks his head into my shoulder to avoid the praise I’m heaping on him, but I nudge him with my nose and take his mouth with mine in a searing kiss, sealing the sentiments with my love and devotion. The sweetness quickly takes on a spicy edge when I part Knox’s thighs with mine and grind my hips against him. It’s so easy to get lost in the sensations when I’m with him. I don’t have to worry about being too rough, putting my full weight on him, or having to treat him gently when I’m running on instinct. He can take everything I dish out. He’s hard everywhere, from his impressively muscular frame that has a ladder of abs and those cum gutter lines so cut I could take measurements with them, to his damn amazing monster cock that is proud and rigid behind his briefs as I rub on him shamelessly.

Knox’s hands wander, sliding down my back and into my boxer briefs to grip my ass, and my hips flex involuntarily against him as I groan into his mouth. He pulls my hip and positions my leg higher over his legs, giving me better access to fuck against him as his fingers delicately trace along my balls and higher into my crack. I am acutely aware of where his fingers are while being so caught up in his fervent kiss and the rutting my hips are doing as my body fully takes over and has me moving against him, searching for friction. My cock is poking out of my briefs, which are bunching lower as both Knox’s hand and my movements push them down, and still I can’t stop my incessant humping even to get fully naked. Yeah, men are dogs sometimes, it’s just the facts. When his finger slips inside me, it’s not the foreign invasion I expected, but a quick stretch and then a pleasant fullness I know can't even begin to rival what Knox will feel like.

“Fuck, I need more,” I say, voice rough and needy.

“If you want more than this, I need you naked,” Knox says, voice low and demanding.

Okay, fine, I can stop for that. His finger slips out and I hurriedly pull my briefs off as he does, before moving right back on top of him so my aching, weeping cock can rub against his. I open my legs further, straddling his hips and bending forward as I capture his mouth. A trickle of cool liquid hits my skin, sliding down my crack as my anticipation ratchets skyward, and I moan against Knox’s mouth.

“Give it to me,” I groan as his fingers lazily stroke along my slick crack. I do not have the patience for this man to take it too slow with me. I’ve had a long-ass day, and I want him all up in my ass, now.

“You’re such a power bottom. Not content as my pillow prince, letting me handle things. No, you want to control everything,” he says, slipping a finger inside my tight ring and sending a flood of tingles lighting up my awareness. “Even gotta be on top as I play with your ass for the first time.” He adds a second finger, the stretch becoming more noticeable, but decadently pleasurable as he pumps. My hips flex erratically, pushing back against him and feeling something altogether new when he touches a place inside me and stays there.

“Holy fucking shit,” I breathe out harshly as he taps almost in a come here motion.

“Say hello to your prostate, Ryder. It’s your new best friend.” Knox grins when I’m finally able to open my eyes and look down at him. I’m rocking back on his fingers, pushing myself harder against them so he can hit that new magic spot that has me seeing stars and precum making a mess of my cock.

“I’m about to come, so you better stop if that’s not the endgame here, because I can't,” I pant, so caught up in what he’s doing to me, but finding a nugget of my rationality before I completely devolve into a rutting beast.

Knox pulls his fingers away, and the loss of that incredible pleasure is both a relief and the worst feeling in the world. He pushes me back to straddle his thighs and grabs the lube, slicking his gorgeous cock with several pumps of his hand, then moves to mine and has me flexing into his touch. He’s leaning back against pillows and I think he wants me to ride his dick, which, to be honest, I’m going to do like a total fucking rodeo star. The PRCA champ Walker DeVille has nothing on me when it comes to bronc busting. I’m about to rock Knox’s world.

He holds his cock upright and looks at me. “Take it at your pace, baby.”

Ah, fuck, when he calls me that, I feel like I can do anything. I scoot up on my knees, position him at my ass and take a deep breath that I let out as I relax and slowly drop onto his—oh, shit, his monster cock is absolutely splitting me open, the fullness unlike anything before, and I have to pant out my breaths as I inch slowly down. Getting past the first few inches of him feels like the biggest hurdle, but the man is big , and it takes some getting used to the feeling of having him so deep inside me before I can even think of moving. Okay, maybe I won’t be rocking his world tonight, after all.

“Damn, baby, you feel so fucking good,” Knox croons, his eyes rolling in pleasure. “Fuck, this is incredible.” He moves a hand from my hip to my cock and shuttles up the length, giving me something to focus on besides his words stroking my ego.

I’m breathing easier now, and he’s hit that spot again that feels like liquid pleasure while his fist expertly navigates my cock. I place my hands on his chest and realize I can get exactly the speed and depth I need like this, while he jacks me, and holy hell, am I in heaven with the onslaught of pleasure. Who knew it could be like this? My world has opened, and I’m a fan.

“Knox, goddamn, you feel good. Fuck, I need this so bad.” I rock my hips as his snap up to meet mine and his fist shuttles along my cock, bringing me to the brink so much faster than I expected.

“I know. Show me how good you feel, baby. Be a good boy and come for me while my cock is buried in your ass. Mark me as yours,” he says, voice low and rough with urgent need .

Knox focuses on short, hard tugs on my cock, pointing it down toward his chest where he wants me to spill my release. The sight of him biting his lip in pleasure, eyes rolled, back bowed, hips rolling under me as I fuck myself on him is too much. I groan, my cock swelling in his hand as my fingers flex into his chest, nails digging into his pecs while my cum spills onto his skin in hot ropes.

He grunts, gripping my hip with one hand, and pulses inside me, painting me with his own release, which forces more spasms to my endless orgasm. When my eyes focus again, his stomach and chest are painted with my cum as he breathes heavily, looking entirely sated and content, his legs having relaxed, arms falling to his sides.

“You officially are no longer the only bottom in this relationship. That was amazing,” I tell him, slowly moving off him and falling to his side, where he opens his arm and pulls me into him. I kiss his neck, right over his erratically beating pulse point, and lick the salt from his skin.

“You were right,” he says simply.

“Yeah, I know, but what about, specifically?” I ask, feeling lust-dazed. My body is twitching with phantom spasms of pleasure from the adrenaline and dopamine still coursing through me. My ass aches deliciously and I feel him still. It’s fucking wonderful.

He chuckles softly and kisses my hair before running his fingers through it. “You said I wanted someone to meet my strength with theirs, so the power goes both ways. You said the best kind of sex is when you both give and take. Now I know for sure you were right.”

“See, I knew I was your type,” I say on a yawn, burrowing my face into his neck and inhaling his amazing scent. “It's about time you agreed.” I throw my leg over his and wrap my arm over his chest, above where he’s still wearing my cum, holding him possessively, because I’m not ready for him to be free of me.

“Ryder,” he says softly into my hair a few moments later.

“Yeah, baby,” I say, the long day catching up to me and sleep trying valiantly to take hold.

“I love you so goddamn much it makes my chest ache.” The emotion in Knox’s tone is heavier than the scent of sex in the air.

My eyes fly open, sleep forgotten as he finally says the words I’ve longed to hear, but feel all the same. I push up on my elbow and look down at him, his beautiful face warmed by the candlelight in the room and the heat in his cheeks from his admission. He turns toward me, hand trembling on my thigh that covers his.

“You don't have to say it back, and you don't have to earn anything. You’re worthy of love just as you are, and you’ll always have mine, no matter what happens between us,” he says, reaching up and smoothing hair away from my face.

I lean down and kiss the mouth that just said the most beautiful words to me. I rest my forehead against his and breathe through the unexpected tumult of feelings pinballing through my chest, hitting vital organs, making me bleed out the words, feelings, and so much soft stuff I’m not used to. It all coalesces into a caramel sweetness that bursts out of me in a rush I couldn't stop with all the duct tape or comportment lessons in the world.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and didn't think I deserved. You're the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Goodness and light and safety when everything else sucked. You’re my whole life and I love you so fucking much I don't even have words to describe it. You’re my everything, and I will burn down the entire world to make sure I get to keep you in mine.”

“Damn, baby, where the hell did that even come from?” Knox says on a shaky laugh as he finds a pair of boxers and cleans off his chest and stomach. He turns toward me, kissing my eyes and cheeks. “Stop making these grand proclamations in bed, or I’m going to expect you to be a romantic all the time.”