Page 10

As soon as the door closes behind me, I take off in a sprint, tears already beginning to well up in my eyes. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s not like we were a couple or anything, just sex. It was just sex, and really good sex, but even that part is over. Despite this, my heart still aches, dull and hurt because maybe I was starting to fall for him.

It doesn’t matter though because it can’t happen. We can’t be anything more than two people who happen to know each other through surfing. That’s it. If this were to get out, we’d both be fucked. The surf commission frowns upon shit like this, seeing it as a pretty big issue. Flynn could have shared training secrets with me. He could have been using me to get Jade ahead in the competition. It would affect not just me, but Flynn too, and possibly Jade, who has nothing to do with this.

Even as I think it, though, it can’t be true. It felt different. It felt real and honest, and nothing like he was using me. But it still hurts, and it can’t continue if I want to compete at Maui Pipe.

Pushing away the tears with my fingers, the road blurry in front of me, I think back to the conversation Flynn and I had, the one when I mentioned Jade, and his instant response was that she wasn’t very good.

Why would he say something like that? She’s one of the best, and he’s her coach. You’d think he’d be singing her praises, bragging about how he helped put her on the map. Her skills are unmatched, and while I get that some of it is just talent, he’s done his fair share too.

When I finally hit the gravel driveway, my chest is heaving, and my breathing is labored. I’m hit with this mix of anger and guilt and hurt. But more than that, I already miss him.

Unlocking the front door, I see Sloane curled up on the couch, a textbook beside her, a highlighter in her hand.

She’s waiting up for me. It’s something she’s always done, unable to sleep until we’re all home and in bed. It’s sweet, but it also breaks my heart a little. She worries too much, her past always there in the back of her mind.

“Hey, how was your run?” she asks, closing the book, capping the highlighter. And when I plop down beside her, she narrows her eyes, taking in my face. “Were you crying?” It’s a question asked with deep sincerity and love. She cares so much about everyone else, and that’s part of the reason why she lives with Daisy and me for less than the two of us pay in rent. I can’t bring myself to charge her more, knowing she needs us.

“No,” I immediately say, but she tilts her head to the side, hitting me with a look that says she knows I’m lying.

But I can’t tell her why I’m upset. I can’t risk any of this going public, and even though I trust Sloane wholeheartedly, it’s still something I need to keep to myself.

“I’m just overwhelmed,” I finally admit, and it’s partially true, even as I shake my head. This isn’t how I am. I don’t get wrapped up in drama or worry about shit. “You know, the competition and Mitch, and finally making a decision.”

“You still okay going out tomorrow?” she asks, her words a little quieter now. “It’s okay if you’re still struggling. It’s hard.”

“Nah, I’m good, and yes, we’re going out tomorrow. I have to get back in the water if I want to have a chance at placing.”

As much as I’m upset with how things have gone down with Flynn, it’s also made my desire to compete stronger. I want him to watch me out there, a reminder of all he’s missing out on. Not that he has a choice, but still. It’s petty, but I want to win. I want to beat Jade Whitlock because she’s the reason I’m missing out on great sex and a possible future with Flynn. Okay, maybe it’s not Jade’s fault, but I need someone to blame.

“I know you’ve heard this a million times, but Mitch would have hated to see you give up. I know that Daisy and I are not on the same level as Mitch was, but we will do whatever you need. We will be here to help you.”

Sloane’s words come out sweet and calming. I have heard it a million times, and I know Mitch would have lost his fucking mind if he knew I was thinking about quitting, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. The best part of all of this, of deciding I’m going to do this, is that I get to spend my time training with my best friends. There is no one who believes in me more than they do. I’m truly lucky.

“Yeah, I hear you.” I let out a hard sigh. “I’m gonna go to bed. Don’t stay up too late,” I tell Sloane, standing from the couch. I lean down to drop a kiss on the top of her head.

“Thanks, Alana,” she now says, and I wrinkle up my nose at her comment. “For letting me stay here. For being…”

Shaking my head, I don’t let her finish. “Sloane, you never need to thank me. If anything, I should be thanking you for being here for me. How many friends would get up at the crack of dawn to surf?”

“They don’t know what they’re missing out on. That’s when the swell is the best,” she replies, smiling at me. “I gotta get back to this chapter, but then I’m going to bed. I need to be up early for our first day of Maui Pipe training.”

She’s beaming at me now, and I smile back. I really am so fortunate to have Daisy and Sloane in my life. I think without them, especially with this Flynn situation, I would have backed out for sure. The one plus is that I love to run on bitterness, and I’m certainly bitter about losing Flynn.

“Goodnight, Sloane,” I say.

“Night, Alana.”

The next morning, we’re up early; the sun is just beginning to rise as we load the boards onto the roof of my car, strapping them down. We pile in and head over to grab Sage and then over to pick up the jet ski, needing it so I don’t have to constantly paddle out after catching a wave. It’s one of the best ways to train because this way, I don’t get tired too quickly and the jet ski can bring me straight to the big waves.

The jet ski is waiting for us when we arrive, and we thank the rental company as they hand off the keys. We only have two hours, and while that sounds like a lot, it really isn’t. The swell needs to cooperate, and so does my body.

I haven’t been out endurance training like this in so long, really since Mitch died, and I hope I can keep up. I need to get back to land training too, plotting out a schedule in my head as Sloane gets the jet ski ready.

“All set!” she calls out, and I grab my board with Daisy and Sage standing on the shore, binoculars in Daisy’s hand as she scouts waves, and Sloane and I head out. I can hear the din of Sage and Daisy chatting, Daisy filling Sage in on how it all works. I love that she’s so eager to learn and that my friends have embraced her as if she’s always been here.

I grab the rope on the back of the jet ski, and Sloane heads out with Daisy calling out that a few good ones are coming in.

It doesn’t take long to catch a wave with Sloane telling me to paddle like hell, and I do. The wave begins to crest, and I catch it, loving the way my body feels with the wind sailing. Riding the wave all the way to shore, Sloane meets me there, and just like before, I grab the rope and head back out immediately.

“Awesome set coming in!” Daisy yells from the shore, and as I look over my shoulder, she’s jumping up and down, a huge smile on her face. Sage is standing next to her, her hands cupped over her face in nervous excitement.

Sloane takes me out, and as soon as I see the white, I grab it, the wave beginning to barrel. It’s fucking epic and I ride for a good solid minute at least as it curls over me. It’s unreal, and it’s the kind of wave I hope to catch during Maui Pipe.

As I come out the end, I throw my arms up in the air, my cheeks hurting from smiling so much. It’s been so long since I’ve caught a wave like that, and holy shit, it feels good.

Daisy is jumping around and cheering from the shore, and Sloane comes in on the jet ski, hopping off, to throw her arms around me.

“Oh my god, Alana, that was amazing!” she squeals as Daisy runs over, doing a cute little celebration dance, with Sage following her.

“I have no idea what that just was, but it was literally the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!” Sage croons, pulling me in for a hug as soon as Sloane releases me.

“Tell Nate I got barreled today,” I say to Sage. “He’ll know what it means. And I hope one of you got a video of it.” I look at Sage and then at Daisy, both of them shaking their heads, disappointment on their faces. “It’s okay. We all saw it so I can still brag about it.”

“You can totally brag about it,” Sloane says, and I’m so happy to have them all out here with me today.

“We should celebrate tonight,” Sage now says. “Come by for some drinks after everyone is done with work and classes. We can sit around by the firepit. Alana can brag about what a badass she is, and the guys can wish they were her.”

“Love it,” I reply, and we all agree to meet at Sage and Nate’s house around eight tonight.

But as soon as I agree to this, the excitement wears off because of course, there’s a possibility I’ll see Flynn while I’m there. And no matter how wrong it is, it feels so right, like I’m meant to be with him. I hate that we met under these circumstances because in any other world, we’d be on fucking fire together.

The shop is busy all day, and by the time I close the doors and lock it up with Nate, Sage is already out back, getting things ready.

“She loves it here,” Nate says, watching her out the open back door of the shop. “Thanks for including her today. She was so happy for you. It was funny, though, she told me you surfed a circle.” Nate lets out a low chuckle. “Couldn’t remember the word.” I walk up and stand beside him, and he slings an arm around my shoulders. “Proud of you, Alana, for getting back out there,” Nate says, and I lean into his side.

“It’s been tough, but it’s where I’m supposed to be.”

And just as I say this, Flynn walks through the yard, heading toward the cottage. “Hey!” Nate calls to him, and when Flynn turns around, catching the two of us standing together, his eyes focus on me. “We’re having some drinks and shit, wanna come by?”

“Um,” Flynn starts, watching me, looking for my reaction.

“Yeah, join us!” I say with far too much enthusiasm, but this is how Nate expects me to respond. It’s how I would have responded if I hadn’t been hooking up with Flynn.

“Sure, sure,” he now says, and Sage walks over to him, holding out a beer, and he takes it with a smile.

I swallow hard, not sure how the hell I’m going to do this without looking completely obvious. Flynn looks so goddamned gorgeous, my heart kicking up a few notches as I take him in. I need to look away before Sage calls me out for ogling him.

It’s not just that he’s stunning, this hot surfer with an accent to match, but it’s more about how he makes me feel. How he helped me overcome my fear of getting back out on the water. There was a connection there, there still is.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Kai yells out, rounding the corner, a case of beer in his hand. Miles and Owen are right there with him, and only seconds later, Daisy and Sloane show up too.

Tanner and Luna arrive a few minutes later, and soon the place is busy with conversations and laughter. The yard is dark, and Nate turns on the festoon lights, the backyard glowing brightly now. The firepit is going and Sage has set out some hot dogs, marshmallows and other snacks.

Walking over to the cooler, I grab another beer, and I can’t seem to take my eyes off Flynn. He’s watching me every time I look at him, his face pained and my heart aches seeing him.

Wetting my lips, I take a long pull of my beer, my memory floating through the time I spent with Flynn. Remembering not just the sex we had but the conversations and fun. I’m a fucking mess.

“He’s hot, right?” Sage says, coming up to stand next to me. Clearly, she’s caught me staring at Flynn, who is now engrossed in a conversation with Tanner. I’m sure Tanner knows who he is and is impressed with Flynn’s surfing career.

“Yeah, sure,” I reply, trying to play it casual, acting like I have I don’t have a clue. “Is he staying in the cottage?”

“He’s in for Maui Pipe. He’s a coach,” Sage tells me. “He’s our first booking, staying for like three weeks or so. You should go talk to him.”

Sage smiles at me, her eyes widening a little as she mouths “so hot,” and I let out a breathy laugh. She looks ridiculous, but I can’t disagree with her. He is hot, and she has no idea what he looks like naked or when his head is between my thighs.

She gives me a little shove, and even though I shouldn’t, I start walking over to him. This is a huge fucking mistake, but I can’t stop myself.