Page 40 of Reckless

“But I can see in your eyes, this is someone you really care about, someone you’ve loved. I’m worried for you.”

If I wasn’t already leaning on the shelf, I might’ve staggered backward as the weight of her words knocked me sideways. Was I that transparent? “You…you don’t have to worry about me, Millie. I know what it is. It’s just a fling. Regardless of what we once were or whether there’s anything still there.”

Millie wasn’t stupid, and the hollowness of my words echoed in my ears as well.

“But what ifhewants more?” she persisted. “What if he asked you to be with him? Would you go?”

“I’d…” Shit, that was something I hadn’t thought about. “I’d consider it.”

“You’d be willing to leave your mom?”

Guilt churned and bubbled in the pit of my stomach, erasing the happiness. Her words shook me. I couldn’t leave Mom. I was all she had.

“Are you suggesting that I need to cut the apron strings?” I snapped and instantly regretted my sharp tone. “Because it isn’t like that.” I covered my eyes with my hands. “I couldn’t leave her. She’s already lost enough.”

“I’m sorry, honey.” Millie took a step back. “I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“I just…the accident killed the world the way we knew it. Suddenly our dreams were no longer possible, and moving on didn’t seem right.” Tears blurred the supplies on the shelf in front of me. “I know my life is pathetic.”

I was stuck in a rut the accident had carved out for me. I’d thought I was doing the right thing, taking care of Mom, but maybe I was just holding on.

“I didn’t mean to spoil your good mood.”

“I’m trying to have fun. God knows I could use that.” A single frustrated tear splashed onto my cheek. I was mad at myself for getting lost in a fantasy that was outdated by seven years.

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry for getting upset. This is all just a bit much for me. I probably should just keep away from him until he leaves.”

“I don’t know about that. He’s going to need you soon.”

I gave Millie a silent, pleading look. “What should I do?”

“Just…be aware that he’ll have to leave. I don’t want you to start imagining that he’s going to stay… unless you could consider a life somewhere other than New Hope.”

“Yeah, right,” I grumbled. “That’s not going to happen. But it doesn’t mean I can’t be with him while he’s here.”

“Exactly. And if things change, then so be it. You’re entitled to a good time. Just don’t let your heart get broken when he leaves.”

“Easy.” I shot her a thin-lipped smile. “I can do that.”

Whether that was entirely true or not, time would only tell.

“And consider encouraging your mom to take back some of her independence. It’ll be good for both of you.” I sighed, having heard this particular spiel before. “If it helps,” Millie said, “you look beautiful enough to make any rock star fall in love with you.”

I made a scoffing sound and looked down at my scrubs. “In love maybe, not that love ever really matters.”

Millie pulled me in for a tight mom-hug, and I rested my head against her shoulder, blinking back tears.

“I’m here for you if you want to talk, Kelly. You know that, right?”

“I know you are. And I do appreciate it. I guess I need someone to give it to me straight every now and again.”

“Well, I have two teenage boys. The only way to communicate with them is directly. Hints and suggestions don’t work. Just let me know if I ever go too far, okay?”

I laughed and pulled back. “I will. And thanks again. I suppose I better get these boxes unpacked while it’s slow.”

“Yeah, I better check on Violet. Last I heard the older gentleman from the room across the hall was sneaking over for some after-breakfast fun.”

I groaned. “I’m guessing you aren’t talking about a game of Scrabble.”