Page 38 of Recipe for a Curse

I turned his way, shaking him gently, trying to break the grip of the dream. No response. I shook him a bit harder, finally having to dig my fingers into his shoulders a little to even get a hold.

He snarled and turned swiftly, pinning me to the bed, teeth bared. My heart flipped over in a moment of fear, the first I’d had since I’d met him. A sinking feeling rolled through me, terror that he’d hurt me, and sadness that I’d misread him. Only he’d warned me, hadn’t he? Said the full moon made him restless. And I’d been reading up on PTSD. Which meant his reaction could be completely based on what he was seeing, which might not have been me at all, but rather some war zone he’d survived.

I relaxed in his arms, letting him go and not offering any aggression or fast movement at all. Instead I gently touched his cheek, keeping my caress light, focused on slowing my racing heart and banishing blame that had no use to either of us.

“Rio,” I called softly. “Baby, come back to me. You can hear me, right? Feel my caress? I’d never hurt you.” I whispered over and over, while he seemed to struggle with himself. His grip hurt, the weight of him holding me down more than a little scary, but he also seemed half frozen. Face contorted, still in a partial snarl, though it began to ease as he seemed to finally sense my touch.

The steam went out of him all at once and he frowned down at me. He reached over and turned the light on, making me blink away spots. “Did I hurt you?” He demanded.

“Just a little bruised. I’m fine,” I assured him.

He stared at me, the spots where he’d grabbed me reddened and throbbing a bit with the coming bruises.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, resting my palm on his face. “You were having a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?”

Slowly he uncurled his hands from me and backed away making my heart flip over. He got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. “I should eat.”

I crawled out of bed too. “Okay. Let me make you something.”

Rio shook his head. “You go to sleep. There’s plenty I can manage on my own.”

“Maybe some sleepy time tea will help?” I offered. He paced the kitchen, pulling things out of the fridge, but still looking more agitated, more like a cornered animal than anything I’d ever seen from him. Perhaps it was lingering anxiety from the nightmare? Brand was a psychologist, maybe he’d be able to give me some specific answers about how to help Rio. I planned to call him in the morning.

Rio crossed the kitchen to stand in front of me. He gave me a light kiss on the lips. “Go rest. No need for both of us to be awake all night. I promise I’ll keep the noise down.”

I stared into those clear eyes and wondered how I could help. “Rio?”

“It’s okay,” he said. “This is normal for me.”

Normal was his heart rate being up? I could feel it pulsing through his skin. His pupils were also dilated, leaving very little of that beautiful blue left. His movements, agitated and jittery, made it almost seem like he was uncomfortable in his own skin.

“Rio,” I whispered, feeling helpless.

“Let me eat. You rest. Please,” he begged.

I breathed out a long breath, counting slowly so as to not create my own panic, but nodded. “Okay. You’ll wake me if you need something?”

“Yes,” he said. He turned the small light near the stove on, then turned off the rest of the lights. “Sleep.”

I crawled back into bed; certain I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. Not with worrying about him. The blankets were still warm, and the pillows smelled like him. I watched him move around the kitchen for a while, opening containers, eating ten times the amount of food I thought most people could. It became a bit hypnotic, and I didn’t realize I’d closed my eyes until long after I’d fallen asleep and was suddenly jolted awake by the alarm on my phone.

Most of the time I slept well enough that I woke before the alarm, usually rested and ready to confront the day. Today I just felt tired and the alarm was like a bomb warning flashing through my skull.

I was cold, which never boded well in the morning, and even more so as I wondered if Rio had not come to bed. When I sat up and turned on the light, a sick feeling flipped over in my gut. The empty bed and kitchen, just two small indicators. The bag of supplies and clothing, which had been sitting beside the bathroom door, missing, was the next dagger in my heart. The bathroom door was open, so I knew he wasn’t in there. And my place didn’t really have any hidden nooks or crannies he could vanish into.

Had he gone to the main house maybe? Worried that he’d wake me, maybe I’d find him in the kitchen over there. Or even up and helping Zach already. I hurried through my morning routine and rushed over to the manor, the last threads of hope stretching thin.

The kitchen was empty, untouched as it was most mornings when I arrived. The entire house was still, no one really awake yet, and if Zach had tucked Rio away in an unused room, I couldn’t find any indication of him.

As I made coffee, nausea and anxiety began to swirl through me. He wouldn’t have leftleftwould he? Like gone back to his place? It wasn’t livable and there was a storm coming. When I checked the weather app on my phone it said the storm would arrive in the late afternoon and continue for at least another twenty-four hours. The snow and following temperature drop all too familiar with this year’s brutal weather patterns.

I was halfway through breakfast, fresh croissants resting on the counter when I couldn’t take the anxiety anymore and sent Zach a text. Maybe he would give me good news. Maybe Rio was fast asleep in some room in the house, and I just didn’t know it yet. I prepped the meal as though he were there and would need the food.

Zach arrived in the kitchen looking somber. My heart rolled over in my chest and I gripped the counter.

“The sled is gone. Did he take any food?” Zach asked.

I peered around the kitchen trying to think through my supplies, but if something had been missing, it wasn’t from here. And I’d barely glanced through the stock in my tiny kitchen. “I don’t know?” I reached out for Zach, terrified now. “There’s another storm coming. He can’t be out there in this.”