Page 31 of Quinton's Quest

Somehow, I hadn’t thought they were so young—even though I’d seen a picture of them the other night.

“I kept Trevor from Gideon for almost half his life. He’s too young to understand, I think. Melodie isn’t, though. She worries she won’t see the other father when she’s not with them. No matter how many times I reassure her that Gideon will always be in her life—and just a three-minute drive from here—she can’t be convinced. Even tonight, they said they hadn’t been certain I’d show up.”

“Ouch. That’s got to hurt.”

“Yeah.” More rustling. “I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for my kids, and I’ve only ever screwed that up.”

“That sounds like catastrophizing. You kept your ex-husband away when he was abusing painkillers. Now he’s sober and you’re sharing custody. Is he—” I sought the right word. “Bitter?”

“No.” The answer came out as barely a whisper. “He should be, though.”

“Why? I mean, the better question is—why do you continue to beat yourself up about this all the while being self-righteous? It’s an interesting contradiction.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh, I think you do. Tell me this, Leo—why did you call me tonight?”

Another very long pause. Then a low chuckle. “If I recall correctly, you called me.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Okay, that’s fair. But why did you text me? That’s on you.”

“Yeah.” This sigh sounded even heavier than the last one. “I’ve spent the past two years as a single parent. Now I’ve got someone to share the load, and it feels weird. I mean, our nanny was a nice young woman, and she just had a baby, so timing was good in that I didn’t have to find someone else. Gideon and Archer will, of course, have the kids every single second they can.”

“Do you feel like you’re competing with them?”

“How?”

I dunno…again—you’re the one who called me. “Like, status? You said Archer is rich, right?” Because even I was aware Leo wasn’t that far into his career. “Or are you jealous of the time they can give the kids? You’ve got an extremely demanding career.”

“Yeah. Before…I mean, before the accident…everything seemed simpler. Gideon took parental leave and stayed home with the kids. Then we put them in daycare and he went back to work. He injured himself and, as I said, things spun out of control. I guess I just wish we’d been able to stay in those simple days when we first brought the kids home. We were sleep-deprived, exhausted, but in a constant euphoric state because we had the family we’d always dreamed of.”

“You still have that family, Leo. It just happens to look different now. Yes, you’re now a single dad. But you’re still a dad. It’s okay to ask for help if you need it.”

“I have no one, Quinton. That’s the thing. I literally have no one. My parents are dead and had pretty much disowned me when Gideon and I came out and announced we were a couple anyway. Well, his family disowned him outright. Mine was more disinterested, and then both my parents were gone by the time we brought Melodie and Trevor home.”

“That’s rough.”

“We were both only children.”

“I was, too. But I always had so many friends that I never felt alone.”

“That sounds nice. Gideon and I always had each other, and so it often felt like us against the world. Now…I don’t have that.” He sighed. “Oh, are your parents still around? Sorry, did we talk about this? My mind’s muddled.”

My breath hitched. “My dad died of a heart attack a few years ago. Just after I finished my nursing degree. Mom’s going strong.”

“She’s a nurse at the hospital, right? Well regarded.”

“Mama’s the bomb. Everyone loves her. I want her to retire, but she claims she’d be bored.”

“Would she be?”

I shrugged—even though he couldn’t see. “She could always volunteer or take up a hobby or something. Just not working so damn hard.”

“Does she—” He cleared his throat. “Does she miss your dad?”

“Every damn day. I think she wants me to marry and pop out a few kids so she can have grandchildren to dote on.”

“That sounds nice.”