Page 3 of Queen of Ever (Curse of Fate and Fae #2)

Chapter 3

Imogen

I ’d started to think this equinox thing was meant to keep me so preoccupied I couldn’t even think about anything else. My tutors were more stressed than usual, as if the party was a test for them to pass rather than one for me. My head was jammed so full of new things that I felt like my brain had melted and I wasn’t going to remember any of it.

‘No, no, no! Out with the left foot and lean into it, then together and—no!’ My dancing instructor began to flap his arms about, his face growing red with frustration. Dancing was not my forte. And I had no intention of changing that. I sighed before I could stop myself, exhaustion creeping up on me.

He crowded me, his mouth moving at record speed as he scolded and instructed me, dipping and waving his hands around as he attempted to show me again what I was supposed to do. I wondered how he could dip like that without his strange wig falling off, or how he could move in those bedazzled shoes, which were so heavily set with jewels that you couldn’t see the fabric beneath them.

‘Are you listening to me?’ he snapped, finally bringing his attention to my face, a crease in his brow.

‘No,’ I said, too tired to care about offending him.

He opened his mouth, anger in his eyes, but a chuckle cut him off, startling a squeak from him as he stumbled into a clumsy bow. ‘Your Majesty,’ he said quickly. ‘I—she—Miss Summers isn’t quite ready for inspection yet. Perhaps if you give me a couple more hours, I could—’ Solas held up his hand and the man instantly closed his mouth, but I could have sworn a layer of perspiration began to bead on his forehead.

‘Maybe this equinox thing isn’t a good idea,’ I said, feeling more self-conscious now that I had an audience.

‘Nonsense,’ Solas said, striding towards me confidently. ‘You forget, I’ve seen you dance before.’

‘Yeah, and it made me so nervous I wanted to throw up.’

Solas was silent as he held his hand out to me, and my mind was thrown back to that night at the Hunt Ball when he’d asked me to dance in front of the entire court, reminded me of the moment Tarian had stepped between us, had led me from the room, had—

‘The insolence,’ my instructor hissed, shoving me forward and waking me from my stupor. ‘This is the Seelie King. Who are you to refuse him?’

Solas glared at the man and he shrank down again. ‘A thousand apologies, Your Majesty,’ he said, offering the most dramatic bow I’d ever seen.

I took his hand as my instructor backed away, fear turning his skin pale and clammy. ‘He’s unpleasant, but don’t you think you were a bit too intimidating?’ I said quietly so that only Solas would hear me. His touch was warm as his fingers gently curled around my own. Somehow, it made me feel lonely, knowing that it was someone else’s touch I craved, someone I couldn’t have, someone I shouldn’t want.

‘I’m the king, I’m not too anything,’ he said, his lips curling into a satisfied smile. He clearly enjoyed making the man sweat. He pulled me in, placing his other hand on my waist, and suddenly it all felt incredibly intimate.

‘I’m sure you have more important things to do than help me learn to dance,’ I said.

‘More important, probably, but far less enjoyable,’ he replied, offering me a charming smile. My instructor began to fan his face. When he caught my eye, he scrambled towards the gramophone and placed the needle down. Music filled the room, forcing my attention back to the Seelie King. He was watching me with an expression I couldn’t read.

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ I asked, suddenly suspicious as he began to lead me in the steps. I heard a gasp from my instructor, which I did my best to ignore. The man was far too loud and obvious in his watching.

‘You do know that no one else speaks to me the way you do?’ he asked, amusement in his voice.

‘Something else I need to work on before the party, no doubt,’ I said, feeling my cheeks flush. There were just too many things to remember. I was sure I was going to make a complete fool of myself and commit some act of social suicide. As if I needed another reason for these people to talk about me.

‘Perhaps for the party, but not when we’re alone,’ he said.

‘Solas, I—’ I averted my eyes, not sure where to look or how to divert the conversation. It wasn’t the first time he’d flirted with me, but it only ever made me uncomfortable. Maybe this was the way it would always be, now that I was bonded. Perhaps the idea of another man was always going to feel wrong. Did that doom me to never finding love again? I had to assume my love for Tarian had no future, after what he’d done. And I had heard nothing from him since I’d arrived at the Summer Palace. Perhaps it was foolish to think I would.

‘Don’t make that face,’ Solas said, bringing us to a stop. ‘I don’t know what he did to you, but to hurt you this badly, I know he doesn’t deserve you. You shouldn’t let him consume your thoughts.’

‘When all I see is the inside of the palace, what else should I think about?’ I asked. There were ample distractions inside the palace, but I longed for the freedom to roam further, to explore what else this realm had to offer aside from palaces and princes and kings.

His lips curled into an almost smile. ‘I suppose I did promise you could see more than the palace walls. We will have to remedy that after the celebration.’ He released me then, turning his attention back to my instructor. ‘Her lessons seem to be coming along fine. Let’s leave it here for today.’

‘O-of course, Your Majesty,’ my instructor said, flourishing that ridiculously dramatic bow of his. ‘Thank you, Your Majesty.’

Solas turned to me once more. ‘Rest now. I have business to attend to tonight, but Marietta will keep you company.’

‘Yes. I’m grateful for her,’ I said warmly. And I wasn’t unhappy to eat dinner with her alone, since we usually snuck out of the palace to eat in the gardens. For a brief moment, it almost let me forget where I was.

‘Good, then I’ll see you at the celebration tomorrow.’ He took my hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it, his eyes never leaving mine, and I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks. As I watched him leave, I couldn’t for the life of me understand what he saw in me. Worse than not reciprocating whatever feelings he was nurturing, I had already given my heart to someone else, someone who didn’t want it.

‘What is wrong with me?’ I muttered before giving myself a shake. Solas might have given me the rest of the afternoon off, but my dance instructor could change his mind at any moment if I gave him the chance. I hurried out of the dance hall and back to my room.

Sitting on the cool grass, I watched as the moon began its ascent in the night sky. Once, the dark had scared me, making me feel as if I was being sucked into a void where nothing but terror resided. But since coming to this place, I had faced so many fears, so many dangers, that the dark was less intimidating now.

‘I’m so full,’ Marietta said, throwing herself back against the grass to stare up at the night sky. I smiled at her, laying down to join her, watching the stars with the same wonder that I had the night Tarian had broken my glamour. There were so many more of them visible to my keener fae eyesight.

‘You’ve been working especially hard these past few days,’ she said.

‘I don’t think my tutors would have accepted anything less. They’re more anxious about the equinox than I am.’ And that was saying something. I’d had very little interaction with the Seelie Court, I had no idea what to expect, I’d just be glad if there wasn’t another hunt.

‘It will be nice to have someone to talk to at these events. I know you’re not looking forward to it, but I’m selfishly glad.’

‘Surely there are other people you’re close to?’

Marietta let out a long breath. ‘I’m not exactly what the court wants in a princess.’

Confusion twisted my brow as I looked at her. She was polite and well-spoken, but never outspoken, elegant and graceful and beautiful. How could she not be what the court wanted in a princess? She laughed when she caught my eye. ‘I do enjoy that you’re so open with your feelings,’ she said with warmth, before she turned back to the stars. ‘Members of the royal family are expected to have particularly strong magical abilities. It makes for powerful leaders, and for those of us who are in line, it makes us desirable partners and important political tools.’

Basically like any royal family I’d ever heard of but with more magic. ‘So, why aren’t you what the court wants?’

‘I was born without magic.’

‘Don’t all fae have magic?’ I asked before I could stop myself.

‘Not all. Though in the Seelie royal line, it’s rare to be born without it,’ she said, her voice remaining gentle as she explained it to me with perfect patience. ‘It makes me little better than human in the eyes of the fae.’

‘Is that really so terrible?’ I asked. I felt like being human was better than being fae. Being fae had brought me nothing but trouble so far, and I couldn’t even control the magic that I supposedly possessed.

‘If I wasn’t the only Seelie princess, I would probably be living as if I was a human changeling.’

Suddenly, I felt awful. Poor Marietta had been struggling with this her whole life, and here I’d come, waltzing into her world in the exact opposite situation—a human who discovered she was in fact fae and had the magic to go with it. And still she had been so kind to me, helping me adjust to life in the Summer Palace, helping me with my studies, listening to me vent my frustrations when I failed again to control my magic, magic she had probably spent every day of her life wishing she could possess.

‘You’re the first person who wanted to know me as I am, and who liked me for it,’ she said, making me realise I’d lapsed into silence.

I felt tears prick at my eyes, at the loneliness in her voice. ‘Well, I’m not really sure why I need to be introduced to the court,’ I said, my emotions finally settling on indignant. ‘If that’s how they treat you, I have no interest in them at all.’

‘My brother told me you’re staying with us so he can protect you,’ Marietta said carefully. ‘But I don’t think that’s the only reason. It’s important to him that you become part of this world.’

I knew I should have asked her what she meant by that, knew it would probably be best not to pretend that I didn’t catch the drift of what she was saying, but my lips remained shut. A silence enveloped us as the gentle wind caressed my skin. I wasn’t stupid. I knew Solas wanted more than I could give him, even if I still wasn’t sure why. But how did I deal with that? He was my king, even if that notion was still so bizarre to me.

‘If you married him, then we’d be sisters for real,’ she said quietly.

Marriage. It was the first time the word had been mentioned, but for some reason it didn’t surprise me. I had the sense that the fae didn’t go about marriage the way humans did. At least, not the way modern humans did, though maybe they had more in common with earlier eras of human history, where marriage was an arrangement and not the culmination of a loving relationship.

‘Marietta, a marriage wouldn’t change the way I feel about you,’ I told her as I took her hand in my own. My heart ached for her. ‘I already think of you as a sister, and that will never change.’

‘If he asked you, what would you say?’ she asked. Was she pressuring me? It didn’t sound like it. It sounded like she had asked out of pure curiosity, as if she was measuring where I was at.

I stared up at the full moon, letting the light wash over me as I considered her words. But there was nothing to consider, not really, because I knew the answer to that question without a single hesitation. ‘I can’t marry your brother. I’m grateful to Solas, I truly am. But I—’ I love Tarian . I couldn’t finish the sentence aloud when the thought alone made me want to cry. How could I be so weak? I couldn’t shake the feelings that had taken root in my heart.

‘I know,’ Marietta said softly, as if she was speaking to the moon itself. ‘I can’t say I blame you, either. My brother is many things, but easy to love isn’t one of them.’

‘What makes you say that?’ I asked, turning my head to her but she wouldn’t look at me. It made me wonder what her life must have been like before I’d arrived. She had her brother, but their parents, from what I’d been able to learn, had died when Marietta was still very young. I had no idea what it must have been like for her to be the sister to the king at such a young age. I also had no idea why her parents had died. Tarian had told me fae could choose when they decided they’d had enough of living, but surely they couldn’t have chosen that when their daughter had still been young enough to need them?

‘He—Solas has a lot to think about. He can be... difficult,’ she finally said. ‘But if you were my sister, then we would have each other.’

‘Marietta, we have each other now,’ I said, squeezing her hand.

‘But if you go back to Tarian...’

I didn’t have a response to her unfinished sentence. I honestly didn’t know what I would do if I was presented with the choice. Not after all that had happened. If I did, where would that leave me? Where would that leave her ? ‘If I ever left this place, I’d want you to come with me,’ I said. Not that I knew what leaving would mean. Going back to the Unseelie Court or the Human Realm? Both seemed like impossibilities at that moment. ‘Would you?’

‘Become a Seelie deserter?’ she asked, her eyes never leaving the pale moon. ‘Maybe.’

Silence settled around us again and I couldn’t help wondering what made her say the things she did, and what I would do if Tarian came for me. It had been so long now, surely that was my answer. Even after what Ethan had said as we’d left Dreadhold. It’s not a question of if he’ll come for you, he will come for you. Clearly, Ethan had been wrong. He wasn’t coming for me, and whatever future we may have had together was over. If even something as powerful as a mate bond hadn’t been able to keep us together, how would we possibly find our way back to each other now?

I blinked away the tears that threatened to spill onto my cheeks. I was going to have to figure out what my life was post Tarian sooner or later. Preferably sooner. After all, he was living his life as if I’d never existed. Why shouldn’t I do the same?