Page 14 of Queen of Ever (Curse of Fate and Fae #2)

Chapter 14

Imogen

I hadn’t really expected to find Tarian at the feast. Sure, I’d been looking for him, I just couldn’t seem to help myself. But it had been so chaotic and disorientating, with the magic masks, the many rooms and winding hallways and the sheer intensity of the decaying setting, that I’d lost any certainty that I would early on. Especially when I wasn’t even sure he’d want me to find him. Maybe his plan was to avoid me the whole time we were here.

But as soon as I’d seen that silver ribbon on his wrist, I knew Ethan had a hand in our meeting. Which just made everything even more confusing. Because Ethan seemed to be more than pushing me to confront him if he was interfering to that level. Ethan would never push me into something he thought was bad for me.

And now. Now, I felt like I’d been completely upended. I’d wanted closure, but that had been nothing of the sort. That had been a blasting open of anything that had been trying to close.

With difficulty, I turned the tide of my thoughts. I had something else to focus on now, something I could let my anger grab hold of.

‘Why didn’t you tell me everyone thinks I’m engaged to Solas?’ I hissed at Marietta, hoping no one else would hear us as she led me through the throngs of fae, the revelry now in full swing as the courts drank and danced with an abandon that could only come from complete anonymity.

Solas wasn’t what I most wanted to think about in that moment, and I was well aware that I was using my anger at him like a lifeline to keep me from drowning in the wave of emotions Tarian had just doused me with.

You can call me whatever you want, as long as you’re still mine.

And damn him if those words hadn’t set my soul on fire. If Marietta had shown up any later, I didn’t know what she would have walked in on. But I suspected I would have been in his arms. I needed to be stronger than that. Because I didn’t trust him, and until I knew otherwise, nothing had changed. Maybe I was a coward for running away again but staying would have been far too dangerous.

But god, being so close to him, so close I could smell him and feel the heat of his fingers on my wrist, made me think of other places he’d touched me, places I craved to feel that touch again. It made me think of teeth on heated skin, a wicked smile, dark eyes looking up at me from between my thighs. It made my heart ache from wanting.

I swallowed hard, trying to push those memories away, trying to focus on my anger at Solas so I didn’t turn around and go back to Tarian to finish what he’d started.

‘I’m sorry,’ Marietta said, her mouth turning down as guilt twisted her mouth. ‘I didn’t know he was planning to call you up second, and I just... I didn’t know how to tell you after.’

I suppose it would have been awkward to pull me aside after the ceremony and say, hey, by the way, everyone thinks you’re engaged. Mazel tov.

‘Why the hell does he want to marry me, anyway?’ I asked. We hadn’t spent that much time together, and I’d been part of this realm for a mere moment in a fae lifetime. I certainly had nothing to offer the Seelie King, and Solas didn’t seem like the type to do anything without a reason. There was only one reason that made any sense. ‘It’s because of Tarian, isn’t it? To get under his skin.’

My anger flared. I’d just told Tarian I didn’t want to be caught in the middle of their bullshit feud and here I was, right smack in the middle thanks to Solas.

‘Solas,’ Marietta said as we approached a man dressed in even more gold than I was, if that was possible. His features were obscured behind the magic of his mask, a mask that covered only half of his face, leaving one cheek exposed. Before I’d even known I was going to do it, my hand raised, sailed through the air, aimed directly at that exposed skin.

But he caught my wrist, his expression turning dark. ‘Lucky I caught your hand. I just saved you from being flung across the room,’ he said evenly. ‘What have I done to elicit such ire in you?’ His tone told me he knew exactly what he’d done.

I yanked my wrist free. ‘You think that you can trick me into making everything think we’re engaged and I’ll just go along with it?’

‘You should feel honoured,’ he said, and it baffled me that he could say that with a straight face.

‘Honoured? To be fooled and used and made a spectacle of? What is wrong with you?’ I asked incredulously. So this was who Solas really was, so cold and unfeeling. He was a goddamn sociopath. ‘I know the only reason you did it is to get at Tarian.’

‘That’s where you’re wrong, rabbit. I did it because of Tarian, because of the way you looked at him in that hall, the way you were so willing to run to him the minute you saw him.’

‘So you decided to force my hand? But why ? You can’t expect me to believe you have feelings for me.’

‘Would that really be so hard to believe?’

‘Given that you clearly don’t have feelings, yes.’ I stepped in close to him, holding myself up to my full height. ‘I don’t know what game you’re playing, and I don’t care. I’m not going to be a part of it.’

‘I can see why Tarian is so taken with you,’ Solas said, his lips curling into a smirk. ‘You’re really quite beautiful when you’re angry.’ His finger traced my jaw and I smacked it away in disgust. ‘Careful, I’m not someone you want as an enemy.’

‘I wouldn’t marry you if Hell froze over,’ I spat.

‘I suppose that’s some human expression you expect me to understand,’ he said, tone completely emotionless. ‘You’re piece in a game far bigger than you realise, rabbit. Make sure you choose the winning side.’ With those words, he turned away from me, a clear dismissal as he walked off to enjoy the party, no doubt brushing off the whole encounter like it was just a trifle.

One thing was for sure, whatever he wanted from me, he absolutely didn’t care about me in any capacity. And he wasn’t going to let my refusal to be involved dissuade him from whatever scheme he’d cooked up. If he was going to use me as a chess piece, then I was going to have to take myself off the board.

How the fuck was I going to do that?

Marietta took my arm and led me away before I could go after him and tear him a new one. I wanted to, and if it wasn’t for the anxiety I could feel coming off her in waves, I would have, no matter how pointless it may have been.

Maybe I should have been feeling some portion of that anxiety, some kind of self-preservation instinct at accosting a king, but I was too furious to feel anything else. When we made it to a quiet corner, Marietta finally stopped. She obviously thought we were far enough away now that I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

I wasn’t so sure of that.

‘Do you know what he wants from me?’ I asked her pointedly. She was his sister after all, even if she wasn’t seen as equal to the other fae, I found it difficult to believe she didn’t know anything about what was going on.

‘He doesn’t include me in most of his plans,’ she admitted, and I might have been tempted to call her out on that, but she was fae and she couldn’t lie. Still, it was a vague answer that could have been interpreted in more ways than one. ‘Let me talk to him, maybe I can calm him down.’

‘Why?’ I asked. Why should I care if he was calm or not? He certainly didn’t care if I was. He just expected me to go along with whatever he wanted. If that’s what he expected, I was only too happy to disappoint him.

‘Because he can be... irrational when he’s in a temper.’ Marietta sighed. ‘I’m sorry about all of this, Imogen. I really am.’

She walked away, leaving me alone once more, with my anger simmering away and my mind wandering back to Tarian. I let out a groan, pressed a palm to my forehead. What was wrong with me? Tarian spouted a few pretty words, and I was just going to line back up and ask for more? Whatever happened between us now, the Unseelie Queen was still gunning for me, and she had the power to render me completely under her control. I didn’t want to find myself kneeling before her again, unable to even open my mouth to protest. Tarian had given her that power.

It was because I was stupid, not because I was cruel.

A few minutes in his presence had completely twisted me up in knots.

‘You make yourself pretty easy to spot when you’re moping,’ a familiar voice said. I turned to see a man at my side. How long he’d been there, I couldn’t say. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed him. His features were hidden behind the magic of the mask he wore, one with vicious, arched brows and a long, hooked beak. I bloody hated the masks. Hated the way they added to my sense of being lost and out of my depth, hated the headache they laid on me when I spent too long staring at them.

‘You’re going to give yourself an aneurism if you keep that up,’ he said, voice curling with amusement. The magic was still scrambling my ability to recognise him, but I was sure I’d heard his voice before. ‘The harder you fight the magic, the worse it will make you feel.’

Of course, because that made total sense. I let out a groan. Maybe I could just slip away, tap out of the entire event and hide out in my room. Or find the nearest exit and just leave. Go... God knew where, but anywhere seemed better than here.

‘Now, this won’t do at all,’ the man said. ‘Tarian is a miserable prick at the best of times. We don’t need two of him.’

‘If you hope to avoid my having an aneurism, maybe you can tell me who you are, since you clearly know who I am,’ I said, unable to completely hide my irritation.

‘I’ll forgive you just this once for not figuring it out,’ he said. He took my hand and leaned in close. ‘I took you to a party like this once before.’

‘Ves?’ I don’t know why I was so surprised; I shouldn’t have been. He seemed to have a nose for trouble. It made sense that he’d want to insinuate himself in mine.

‘The one and only,’ he said with a grin. ‘Now, come and dance with me. We have so much to catch up on.’

‘I don’t much feel like dancing, Ves,’ I said bluntly. Not that I would have called what the fae were doing dancing. It was entirely too sensual to be anything other than foreplay—or maybe that was just my human upbringing talking. But I certainly had no intention of doing that with Ves.

‘Well, that’s disappointing,’ he said, but his tone told me I’d done exactly as he’d anticipated. Not that I suspected he would shy away from it if I’d accepted. ‘Tell me, when did you and Solas become an item?’

‘We’re not ,’ I snapped.

His grin only widened. ‘Underhanded bastard, isn’t he? The Seelie King has a reputation for playing dirty.’

‘Are you talking to me for a reason, Ves, or are you just trying to annoy me?’

‘Trying is a bit of a stretch, you make it far too easy. It’s almost no fun at all,’ he teased. Ves was another fae I found impossible to read. His motives were never obvious, but I felt like he always had one. I may not have suspected Solas of being underhanded, but I definitely expected Vesryn to be when the occasion called for it.

‘Vesryn, go away,’ a woman said as she approached us. ‘Surely you can lather your talents on someone who would appreciate it more.’ She was dressed in a sheer, dark dress that glittered in the light. The mask rendered her unrecognisable as my brain scrambled to place that voice, that silvery hair.

‘I’m yours to command, my lady,’ Ves said, offering an almost comical bow. She merely rolled her eyes at him. I was surprised when Ves actually did as he was told, vanishing with just a few steps into the crowded heart of the room.

‘Can you teach me how to do that?’ I asked. ‘He just ignores me if I tell him to go away.’

‘It requires being immune to his needling, or inoculated through exposure,’ she said, offering me a smile. ‘If he knows he won’t get a reaction, he usually gives up. He’s good at picking his battles.’

‘Thanks.’ I hoped I wouldn’t have to learn through exposure, though. As Ves had said, I was too easy to rile. ‘I’ll have to remember that.’

‘Briyala,’ she offered, seeing me struggling to put a name to her. ‘We haven’t officially met. I’m—’

‘Tarian’s fiancé,’ I finished. Guilt and jealousy knotted in my stomach. That’s right. Another reason to stay the hell away from him.

She laughed at that, the sound a musical lilt that was as perfect as the rest of her. ‘I was once, but not through a choice of mine. Or his, for that matter.’

‘Once?’ I went to the Unseelie Palace to declare my pledge to you. Is that what he’d meant? He’d broken off his engagement? Why hadn’t he said anything about it? And why was my traitorous heart so happy about it?

‘He could hardly keep his engagement to me once he found you, could he?’ she asked, flashing that smile again. She seemed so genuine, so unruffled by the whole thing. Did she really not care that I’d caused the end of her engagement? That I’d cost her a crown?

‘You must hate me,’ I said. If she had been awful, I could probably have managed to avoid feeling the guilt twisting in my stomach, but as it was, I felt rotten. And I couldn’t even blame Tarian for the mess because I had chosen to stay with him after I found out. I had chosen our happiness over everyone else’s. I hadn’t even thought I had that in me.

‘You two really are made for each other,’ she said, rolling her eyes again. ‘Honestly, you did me a favour. I actually believe in the sanctity of fated mates. Now, I get a chance to discover it for myself.’

She was surprisingly romantic, for a fae. ‘What if you don’t like what you find?’ I asked before I could stop myself.

‘You mean, what if I find my mate and he’s as big an idiot as Tarian?’ she asked, tone laced with laughter. ‘Well, I feel like that could just be men in general. But I suppose I’ll deal with that if it happens.’

‘Why didn’t he tell me?’ I asked. She seemed to have some insight into his mind, and I felt a stab of jealousy at that. But right now, I needed that insight.

‘I’m not sure he had a chance. You did knock him out and bolt,’ she said. ‘With good reason, though,’ she added, as if she knew exactly what I was about to say. ‘I’ll admit, I was glad to hear you got the best of him like that. He needed some sense knocked into him.’

She was right, I hadn’t given him a chance to explain. I hadn’t wanted to hear any of the excuses he had, any of the reasons. I’d been so hurt, and it had seemed like there could be no reason that could excuse what he’d done, and that hearing him attempt to explain would just make it hurt more. Or worse, would reel me back into believing something I shouldn’t. But if he’d really stood against the queen and broken his engagement for me... I couldn’t help the warmth that flooded my heart. Maybe he hadn’t just been using me. Maybe I really did mean something to him.

But didn’t I know that already?

Ugh, this whole situation was too messy. Things had seemed so much simpler when we were back at Dreadhold and no one knew about our bond. Or even better, in that cave in the mountains, when it was just the two of us and we could pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.

He was right, we really did need to talk.

Briyala was studying me with her head slightly cocked, sympathy warming her eyes. ‘Listen, I know you’re upset with him and a party isn’t the best place to talk. But if I were you, I’d want to hear what he has to say, and tonight is probably going to be the best chance you’ll get if you’re hoping not to be noticed. After tonight, everyone will be spying on each other and keeping tabs on who goes where and does what. And with you being engaged to Solas—’

‘We’re not engaged,’ I said immediately.

‘The court doesn’t know that. And Solas won’t take kindly to being made a fool of. It would be best for you to get it out of the way tonight, while the magic holds.’

If Marietta had given me that warning, I might have thought she was overreacting. But when Briyala said it, it sounded serious and it sent a chill down my spine. With their beauty and their appearance of civility, it was easy to forget how dangerous the fae could be. But if I went back to the Summer Palace without talking to Tarian, I might never have another chance.

‘He found me already,’ I found myself admitting. ‘He tried to talk to me. And I left.’ And now I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d squandered my chance. If I could find my way back to that hole in the wall he’d led me through, would he still be there? And if he wasn’t, how would I find him a second time in all this madness? The magic made my head ache, and as I watched the other fae mingling and gyrating with abandon, I couldn’t help but wonder what the appeal of it was. I might have been fae now, but I still felt more human than anything. The thought of trying to comb the party searching for him sucked.

‘Not to brag, but I’ve known Tarian a very long time,’ Briyala said with a smirk. ‘I’m sure it won’t take too long to track him down.’

‘Why are you helping me?’ I asked. I knew she said there were no hard feelings, but it still felt strange that she would help the woman who had taken her fiancé from her so underhandedly.

‘I may not want to marry Tarian, but we’re still friends. I want him to be happy,’ she said. ‘Besides, I kind of like the idea of him owing me one.’ She flashed me a wink before taking my hand. ‘Come on. If we take a stroll around the outskirts no doubt we'll stumble across him. He’s probably as far away from the middle of the party as he can be without actually leaving.’

I followed Briyala’s lead, finding my tension easing in her presence. She wasn’t at all what I’d expected.

It wasn’t long before we had drifted far enough from the festivities that the drumming and the music and the voices had become a low murmur. I could feel we were going in the right direction, feel it in that familiar pulling at my soul. We saw him before he saw us. And as Briyala had said, we found him far from the revelry, leaning against a wall with his arms folded, watching the dregs of the party washing around the shadowy corners of his domain. He wasn’t wearing his mask anymore, and I could easily summon the image of him ripping it off when I’d walked away, fed up with the whole premise of the party.

But now that he was right in front of me, I didn’t know what to say to him. How to continue the conversation we’d begun before but make it end differently. He’d done some terrible things, but then, so had I. I’d lashed out at him, wanting to hurt him the way he’d hurt me. Maybe there was no coming back from that, maybe it was just broken.

But what if it wasn’t?

‘Go put him out of his misery,’ Briyala whispered in my ear before sidling away, making just enough noise that Tarian turned at the sound. She’d made sure I couldn’t back out, and I felt like I should be grateful for that, even if I suddenly felt vulnerable, like I was standing naked before him.

‘Imogen,’ he said. And just that one word, my name in his mouth, made me drift closer.

‘Someone convinced me this might be our best chance to talk,’ I said, my eyes falling to the ground as I clenched my skirt in hands. What was I doing? This was a bad idea. But as hard as this conversation was probably going to be, we needed to have it. I couldn’t put it off forever. ‘After what happened that day... your mother, the magic, all that... I guess we probably need to talk.’

When I looked up at him, he’d somehow managed to close the distance between us. ‘What happened was my fault. I made a rash decision when I left you at Dreadhold to go and confront the queen. I was impatient and I didn’t think it through. I should have known she would lash out at you for it. I never meant for you to get hurt.’

I didn’t know how to respond to that, to him being so vulnerable and honest with me. It did nothing to quiet the longing to touch him that had gripped me since I’d laid eyes on him again. It did nothing to quash the doubts I had about leaving him.

Of course, when I’d left, I hadn’t taken the consequences into account, either. The plan was to go back to the Human Realm, not end up stuck in the Seelie Court with Solas. ‘I suppose we’re both guilty of that,’ I said. ‘Not thinking things through, I mean.’ My eyes dropped again but his hand darted out, cupping my chin, forcing me to look at him. He searched my face, jaw tight, like he was biting back something he wanted to say.

‘What are you thinking?’ I found myself asking.

‘I’m trying to figure out what I could say to keep you standing here so I don’t have to watch you walk away again.’

A squeal of laughter burst the moment. I sprung away from Tarian like I’d been burned as a pair of lovers stumbled past us, hand-in-hand, murmuring to each other before one swept the other up in his arms and they began kissing wildly, like we weren’t even there. I swallowed, feeling trembly and too full of blood and breath and feeling and... everything.

‘This is hard,’ I said, laughing awkwardly to try to shake the tension. It didn’t work, especially when his mouth pulled into a crooked half smile, creasing his eyes and making him suddenly look like that softer, lighter version of him I’d caught glimpses of in the cave with the stars and the night drakes, and by Haddock’s lake when he’d scooped me from the water and sat with me by the fire. ‘Briyala said this might be our best chance, but when there’s so many people—’

The smile vanished as quickly as his hand darted out, catching mine. ‘Don’t. We're not finished yet,’ he said. He glanced around. ‘Come on.’ Then he was drawing me down a cramped passageway, trying the handle of each door we passed until he found one that opened. He pulled me through into the room beyond, closing the door just as another group of laughing fae came darting down the passage behind us, passing by with a chorus of yells and whoops, like they were chasing each other. We held still, listening as they passed, and when the noise faded away something in the air shifted. I was staring up into his dark eyes, and I knew I was in trouble.