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Fern

I sat in the musty jail cell, shivering as the cold air clung to my bare arms. The thought of asking for a blanket kept popping into my head, but I felt embarrassed at the thought of drawing attention to myself. I hoped I wouldn’t be here much longer, anyway. At least one cop had taken pity on my pathetic crying and given me the number for the local bail office. I’d spoken to the boss over there, while snivelling down the phone, and he’d talked me through what would happen and what they would do for me. I must have sounded like a real mess, as he said he would send someone asap and once I’d signed the paperwork, they’d give me a lift home.

This was all my fault. I’d let myself be led down this path. The handsome face of my ex flashed into my mind. My friend, Mabel, called it bland handsome. She’d never liked him and had constantly encouraged me to break up with him. I hadn’t seen whatever she’d spotted in him and had ended up barely speaking to her. All I saw was dark hair, a strong jawline, a glint in his eyes. I was a bigger girl. Curvy and tall. When I’d asked what it was he liked about me, he’d always replied, ‘There’s just something about you’. I thought it was romantic.

I should have known. He was being vague because he didn’t actually like me that much. Not who I was or how I looked. He liked that I was going to be easy to manipulate. And that’s how I ended up being arrested for having a load of stolen jewellery and drugs in my house.

I hadn’t known anything about the drugs that were tucked behind my wardrobe. Or that the jewellery had been stolen at gunpoint. But the cops sure did. A tip-off, apparently. When I grabbed my phone to call Luke in a panic, there was already a voicemail from him. He was clear on one thing. If I mentioned him or his friends to the cops, there would be trouble. I knew in that moment, from the tone of his voice, that he meant it and he could really hurt me. So I said nothing while I was being questioned. If I spoke, I knew I’d tie myself up in knots. Lies are hard to keep track of. Now I was sitting here, alone.

My stomach roiled, and bile crept up my throat. How had I let myself get caught up in this? I’d known that Luke was a bit of a bad boy. But I’d tried to ignore all the red flags. I’d let him use my storage unit to store ‘some old stuff’. Gods knew what he’d had in there. I could only hope that it was valuable enough he’d taken it somewhere else rather than leaving it to screw me over some more if the cops found it.

I lay down on the hard bed. Concrete with barely a mattress. They really had no interest in providing comfort for criminals. The word bounced around my head. I was a criminal now. Legally, if nothing else. This was a small town. Everyone would know. People would have seen the police, and me being taken away. How many people already knew? Did my boss know? Was he already planning to sack me?

My head was so full and busy I barely finished a thought before a new one had taken over. I tried to slow my breathing and stay calm. But it didn’t work. There was no escape from the fact that I was in a jail cell. Even with my eyes closed, I could smell the sourness of old body odour and dampness.

I had no one else to call. There was no way I was getting back in touch with my family, and I wasn’t sure Mabel would speak to me. I was alone. That hadn’t seemed so bad a few days ago.

One thing was for sure. My little life was about to change and it wasn’t going to be for the better. Finally, tears crept in and when I let them fall, I wasn’t sure they would ever stop.