Page 23

“I didn’t want to say anything, Lucy, but that guy at the bar keeps looking at you.”

“What?” Her head shot up and she automatically glanced at the stools at the bar, where her sister was pointing. “Oh. Not interested.”

“Are you sure? He’s coming over here.”

“What?” She blinked, confused. Her thoughts were still on Dax and the message he had just texted her. It consisted of only three words: Where are you?

She was rather certain it was an invitation to his bed, where she had spent the past four nights. She had just been thinking about how to politely tell Maddie that she had to leave. Now, however, this tall man in a suit was coming up to her and giving her one of those promising smiles that could only mean one thing…and all she could think was: He’s attractive. But not as hot as Dax .

“Sorry,” she said before he could even open his mouth. “I’m taken.”

“You’re what?” Her sister spat the words along with a sip of her cocktail onto the table in front of them.

“Oh, okay,” the stranger said and turned around.

Maddie stared at her in disbelief. “What are you doing? He was cute! He was probably looking for a one-night stand, so he’s exactly your type. Why did you lie to him?”

Automatically, she opened her mouth to contradict her…and choked on her own saliva. It was nonsense to say she was taken! Of course it was a lie. She wasn’t taken .

Oh God.

Oh God, oh God, oh God. Her mind had gone too far!

“Are you okay, Lucy?” Her sister looked at her with concern. “Did you get some of my cocktail on you? You look disgusted.”

“Really? I feel more like I’m panicking,” she blurted out.

Maddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh my God. Are you taken? You’re not just saying that?!”

“No, no.” She shook her head quickly. “Of course I’m not taken.” Her voice croaked. “It was simply a knee-jerk reaction.”

“So, why the knee-jerk reaction?”

“From all the incredibly hot sex with Dax,” she whispered, hastily hiding her face behind her cocktail glass.

“ What? ” Maddie put her glass down so hard that liquid slopped over the edge. “I thought you hated him!”

“Well, you know…” She shrugged guiltily. “It turns out I don’t hate the orgasms he doles out.”

“Oh God, I’m jealous.” Maddie threw her head back with a groan. “I want to have sex with a hot hockey player, too.”

“Take Matt,” Lucy suggested, grinning. “I’ve heard he’s good in bed.”

Maddie frowned. “No way. He’s already held my hair back as I puked after too many margaritas. He’ll never associate the word sexy with me again. Besides, I know he likes mint-flavored chocolate. So he’s obviously crazy. You don’t have hot sex with crazy people. You only have sex you regret with crazy people. So, is Dax crazy? Will you regret this escapade with him?”

“I don’t think so,” Lucy replied slowly. As long as her brain stopped being thrown off track when she thought about Dax.

“No?” Maddie looked at her skeptically. “Okay. Tell me. What’s it like?”

“It’s…surprisingly easy.”

“Sleeping with him? Well, I would hope so.”

Lucy chuckled. “No. Spending time with him. The whole affair is amazingly…uncomplicated.”

Maddie snorted loudly.

“What?” she asked, surprised.

“Nothing about affairs is straightforward, Lucy! Nothing. Why do you think I never have one? Someone always gets hurt because he or she suddenly wants more.”

Now Lucy snorted. “It’s not like that. We have rules. We know what we’re getting into. We expect nothing from each other except discretion. It’s the perfect arrangement.”

“Oh, please. Everyone always thinks that, but in the end, it’s nonsense. Are you seriously telling me you don’t have feelings for him?”

Lucy gnawed on her lip and listened to her heart for a moment—briefly. There were a lot of emotions swirling around inside, most of all longing and other warm emotions. But none so big that she couldn’t easily ignore it!

“I have feelings—in moderation,” she said, convinced of that.

“Oh, is that why you just said you were taken?” Maddie asked.

She waved her hand. “It was a Freudian slip. Let’s talk about something else. You know…honor the discretion.”

Her sister rolled her eyes and nodded. “Fine. Dad asked about you, Lucy.”

She groaned. “Why do you always have to get out the sledgehammer, Maddie?”

“Because that’s the best way to knock down walls. So, what’s going on?”

Lucy lowered her gaze, pulled the plastic straw out of her cocktail, and spent a moment bending it into a small staircase. “I’m angry at him,” she whispered.

Maddie nodded. “I know. Me too.”

Lucy sighed and rubbed her face. “I don’t know how you do it, Maddie. Seriously. Being there for him like that. Driving there every week.”

Mirthlessly, her sister laughed. “I’m the only one who’s consistently around, Lucy. Rachel is in Chicago and you’re always on the go, so who else would do it?”

Lucy wrapped the straw around her finger and nodded. “I’m sorry you’re taking the brunt of the stress.”

Maddie waved her hand. “It’s fine,” she said firmly, then added more quietly, “Don’t give up on Dad, okay? Don’t stop going over there and talking to him. Even if you’re distracted by your sexy hockey player and are spending the whole day snuggling and languishing in his bed.”

She rolled her eyes. “We have sex. We don’t cuddle.”

Maddie raised an eyebrow.

“Well…we do a little.”

But it was perfectly harmless.

“Tell me again how I’m your favorite player. What was that again? I have the best backhand in the league?”

Lucy snorted, sent her fist gently into Dax’s chest, and then placed her head back on it. “You can forget about that. Your ego is big enough. Nobody needs to stroke that anymore.”

“Ah, but you’re not nobody, you’re special, remember? So I need to hear it from you,” he assured her, wrapping one of her locks of hair around his index finger. “Preferably as slowly and in as much detail as possible, because I’m a stupid hockey player and slow on the uptake.”

She laughed and cast an amused glance down at his deadly serious face. “You’re smarter than you have any right to be. God, I can’t believe I just stroked your ego.” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “You’re good.”

He grinned and lifted her chin to kiss her gently. “I know, thank you.”

She rolled her eyes but snuggled closer into his embrace, his arm around her shoulders, her arm around his middle, and her feet between his legs.

She had always cursed her height—or rather her shortness. But as it turned out, it had some advantages. For instance, she could lie comfortably on Dax’s chest and still warm her cold feet against him. Dax winced every time she pressed her ice blocks against his calves, but after a lot of swearing, he allowed it. After all, he was born to live near ice. He was tough.

“And the press says you have no social skills,” she said, shaking her head as she traced circles on his ribcage. “Yet you’re a master manipulator. That’s what they should be writing about. Not about you and Jack and who has the better stats.”

“Ah, they all know Jack will win,” he replied lightly. “He always has the numbers. They’re simply writing that to torment me because I was an asshole to most of them.”

He said it without judgment or anger in his voice, but she knew it annoyed him, and that the competition with Jack would always annoy him. She just didn’t know why. And she wanted to ask him, wanted to know what had happened between him and Jack. But only girlfriends asked things like that, not meaningless affairs, right?

However, meaningless affairs could at least talk the guy who had been giving them orgasms for weeks out of comparing himself to his brother.

She rolled onto his chest, her arms folded so she could look him straight in the face, and ran her index finger along the edges of his cheeks and jaw.

It was difficult not to touch him outside the safety of their apartments or hotel rooms. She was addicted to the feel of his skin under hers, the rough stubble under her fingertips, his chest against hers, his lips on her neck, his fingers in her palms, and the way he greeted her every morning as if he had to make sure she was still there. And every time he did, she felt his touch like a sweet prick in her chest, like a…promise.

“You know statistics don’t capture everything, Dax,” she whispered, smiling. “And I think it’s absolutely stupid to compare yourself to Jack. You’re better in some areas, worse in others. You’re such different players.”

“We have the exact same technique, Lucy.”

“I’m not talking about technique,” she stated forcefully. “You’re the team glue, Dax. Everyone looks up to you. Nobody wants to lose your favor. Fox may be the dad of the team, but you’re the cool brother who makes them feel special. Always. They need you to maintain their confidence. Jack, on the other hand, is the furnace that lights a fire under their butts. They’re both important jobs; neither better than the other. You’re not going to gain anything by worrying about it. It’ll never give you the satisfaction you’re looking for. But, if it helps you…” Grinning, she leaned forward and sank her hands into his hair, “I don’t find Jack attractive at all. I would never have broken my rule for him. So, at least for me, there’s no competition.”

A lazy smile spread across Dax’s face. “Well, considering you weren’t trying to stroke my ego, you’re doing a damn good job of it,” he said, impressed, and ran his fingertips down her bare spine.

She laughed. “Oops. Then I take it back.”

“Ah, too late, I’m afraid. I’ve already stored them away forever.” He tapped his temple. “You can’t bear it when people are angry or sad, can you?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“I blame your father.”

Yeah, she blamed him too. “He was different. With Mom. Never angry or sad, honestly.”

Dax nodded thoughtfully, pulled her hand out of his hair, and placed it on his chest. He gently stroked her ring with his index finger. “What about you? Were you different too? With your mom?”

Lucy blinked and glanced up in surprise. She had never thought about it before. “I don’t know,” she finally replied. “Maybe. I often tried to impress her.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“She was such a strong woman, I wanted to show her I was strong too. She was self-employed. A real estate agent. Always dressed smartly and so proud of what she had achieved. She usually took Rachel to work with her and showed her everything. Because she was the oldest. And also kind of her favorite daughter. Maddie and I stayed home with Dad. We didn’t have that many opportunities to…prove ourselves to her.” She swallowed and closed her eyes. “I loved her. I admired her. She was there for me. But…sometimes I feel like there wasn’t enough time to get to know her, because you only truly get to know parents when you’re an adult and realize that they’re just people too. Do you understand?”

He nodded and turned the ring on her finger.

“I wish…she’d had more time to get to know me,” she continued softly. “To see how successful I am now. How good I am at my job.”

“She’d be proud of you,” he murmured.

She smiled wearily. “You can’t know that.”

“Of course I can. Anyone would be proud of you.” He said the words so earnestly and soberly that she didn’t doubt them for a second, which caused her eyes to burn uncontrollably.

“Anyway…” she replied hoarsely and looked away. “It hurt when she died. But you know what’s ridiculous? That it hurts more to see Dad so…weak and unhappy now,” she whispered. It was a secret she was revealing. “I know, it’s terrible, but…”

“It’s not terrible," Dax contradicted firmly. “You can feel whatever you want. There is no right or wrong in this area.”

Inhaling deeply, she hoped he was right. She truly wanted to believe him.

“How is your dad doing right now, Lucy?” Dax asked hesitantly after a few seconds of silence. “Have you spoken to him since we were there?”

That was a topic she didn’t want to talk about at all. “Your phone is ringing,” she mumbled and rolled off him. “You should answer it.”

He snorted but glanced at his nightstand, where the screen of his phone was flashing wildly. “Who’s manipulating who here?” he asked quietly, straightening up and reaching for the smartphone.

“Hello?” he said. “Hey…Anna, it’s not a good time right now, can I…” He fell silent and his lips immediately turned into a thin line. “I know. My brain is still intact. Thank you. I still think it’s a stupid idea…” He fell silent again. “Good God, it’s fine. See you later.”

He hung up, groaned, and sank back onto the mattress, pressing a pillow to his face.

“What’s going on?” Lucy asked.

“My sister. She reminded me that it’s my birthday next week and she’s expecting me for a family dinner. Jack will be there too. She invited him.”

“Oh. Don’t you want him there?” Lucy asked, surprised.

Dax snorted loudly and pulled the pillow away from his face. “Fuck no. But Anna doesn’t care. She doesn’t like being bossed around by me and thinks it’s time to forget our enmity.”

“Wow. I like your sister.”

He looked at her sourly. “You don’t know her.”

“It doesn’t matter. Everything I’ve heard about her so far sounds fantastic.”

He snorted. “Of course you’d be plotting against me before you’ve even met.”

She grinned. “I don’t feel bad about that. So, you’re actually celebrating your birthday?”

“I have no choice, do I?” he said tensely. “God, I hate that day.”

Yes, Lucy remembered it well. “Why?” she asked anyway.

Sighing, Dax rubbed his eyes. “Do you honestly want to know?”

“Of course,” she said, surprised.

“Fine,” he replied harshly, leaning against the headboard. “You know my childhood sucked, right?”

She swallowed but nodded.

“Good. Most days of the year, it was terrible to be home. So, Jack, Anna, and I were mostly gone. Jack and I played hockey, and Anna took refuge in the school library, reading every book she could find. That was our everyday life. I didn’t know if there would be food on the table at dinner, if my mother would spontaneously be working late, or if my dad had been lucky or unlucky at the casino. I hated going home after school.

Nothing was ever consistent…except hockey, Jack, and Anna.” He shrugged. “But on my birthday, I forgot all that. It was the only day of the year my mother could get my father to stop drinking and stay away from the casino. Jack would usually steal a present for me from somewhere, my mom would bake a cake, and Anna would do some silly dance or something to make me laugh. It wasn’t much, but it was the one day of the year that I always looked forward to. My parents knew that. Anna knew that. Jack knew that. He knew that most of all. Because I told him that kind of crap.” He cleared his throat. “I know Jack is only three years older than me, but…he took responsibility. For the birthdays. Christmas. For everything. He made sure Anna could stay in the library until we finished practice. He made certain I wasn’t kicked out of school for getting into another fight. He helped me pick up my dad from the casino. He ran the other half of the household. He told me what I had to do or how I could help. So maybe it’s unfair of me to be upset that he suddenly thrust that responsibility onto me, when he had to bear it for so long. But…” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know, he only had to ask me. Simply ask. Just tell me that it was too much for him. We lied to our parents all the time—but never to each other. But he didn’t say a word about it. Instead, he simply disappeared. I woke up on my sixteenth birthday…and he was gone. His bed empty. His things gone. He vanished into thin air. I didn’t find anything of his…except a dice.”

“The red dice,” she said quietly. “The one you always carry with you.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

He frowned. “It used to be a reminder that I don’t need help. That I can do it on my own, that I don’t believe in luck, and that hard work is the only thing I can control. My dad treated life like a game, and I wanted to do better. By making my job a game, literally.” The corners of his mouth twitched. “It doesn’t matter. Now it’s more…habit. Whatever.” He cleared his throat again. “Jack took off, ruined the only day of the year I looked forward to, left me alone with Anna and all that shit—and then didn’t contact me for three years. We didn’t know where he was or if he was okay. Until we saw his damn name on TV because he’d been drafted into the NHL.” He laughed mirthlessly. “Then our mom got sick and died, and he missed the funeral. When it was over, he called. On my fucking birthday! To wish me well and ask how I was and if we should meet sometime. As if nothing had happened. The bastard ruined my birthday twice. So now, every year, the day merely serves as a reminder of it. The day Jack abandoned us and saddled me with Anna’s upbringing and security.” He laughed mirthlessly. “It was hard to put up with my father, but it was easier together. Anna was too young to help, but Jack and I…we had everything under control. Until he left.”

Lucy swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat over the last few minutes and reached for Dax’s hand. “Why did he leave?” Lucy whispered.

“No idea,” he replied dryly.

Skeptical, she stared at him. “You didn’t ask?”

“No. I didn’t care. There was nothing that would justify leaving us alone. We were his damn family, we needed him, and he let us down. That’s all I need to know.”

“But…”

“Leave it alone, Lucy,” he interrupted, shaking his head stiffly. “He didn’t try to explain and I didn’t ask him to. That’s all there is to it.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. It was clear that he didn’t want to talk about it any further and had revealed more about himself than he’d initially wanted to.

However, if it were her, she would want to know why Jack had left—what had happened?

She didn’t truly know Jack, but…she knew he wanted to do better, too.

“You should come, you know,” Dax muttered.

Stunned, she blinked at him. “What? Where?”

“To the family dinner.”

“But I’m not family.”

He raised the corner of his mouth. “Yes, and I’m grateful for that. Come anyway.”

“And what about your rule? That I’m nowhere within a ten-mile radius when you spend time with Anna?"

“As long as you don’t hide a paparazzo in your purse, we can break the rule. With your presence, the situation is less likely to escalate.”

“Are you sure?” she asked doubtfully.

He nodded and leaned forward so that his lips brushed the shell of her ear. “Yes. Because I always feel the need to behave myself when you’re around.”

She laughed. “Really? I haven’t seen much evidence of that.”

“Ah, you haven’t seen my worst side yet,” he assured her, gently biting her earlobe. “So, before you get a stiff neck from sitting in the car in front of the house for three hours making certain I don’t get drunk, give innocent children alcohol, and graffiti I hate Coca-Cola on a wall, you better come with me.”

She had to grin. “Well, when you put it like that…fine.”

It was perfectly normal to celebrate a birthday with your fling…right?