Page 17

Seventeen

NAT

Things are great and shitty all at once.

I’m still pissed at dad and not even close to ready to talk to him again yet. It’s more than just the jibe about not being over mom’s death, it’s the fact that I’m not enough for him and that he thinks he can still just bulldoze my life. I won’t let it happen anymore. I won’t give in or let him think it’s ok, and if that means icing him out for a while, then so be it.

But things with Rizzo have been amazing. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed him until we found our way back to how things were before. Well, not exactly how they were before: we’re actually closer than ever now. We’ve been spending almost every minute that I’m not working and he’s not practicing or playing together. I went with him to get his first tattoo, Hattie and Shep in tow too, and while it was really cool to share that experience with him, staring at him shirtless for hours while he got the Celtic cross inked onto his chest was a special kind of torture. I’d almost forgotten just how good he looks unclothed. Sure, I’ve seen it on his social media accounts since we stopped hooking up, but seeing it in person is a whole other story. The tattoo came out amazing, but I have to force myself not to imagine running my fingers and tongue over the lines more often than I’d care to admit.

We’ve gotten his place completely set up, including a room for Ollie which she absolutely loves.

“Just for me!?” she’d exclaimed when we’d brought her upstairs to do the big reveal. The room actually has it’s own little loft space inside it and is probably the coolest room in the house.

“Just for you, Olligator,” Rizzo had nodded, ruffling her hair. She’d screeched then, thrown her arms around him, and then gone full on kid tornado and torn through the room, trying to look at and play with everything all at once. Hattie had teared up at the sight and then punched Shep in the arm when he called her a big softie, but I’d be lying if seeing Rizzo climb up into the loft to play barbies, doing his best Australian accent because apparently Ken was Australian for unknown reasons, didn’t do some kind of number on my heart…and ovaries. He’s going to make one hell of a dad one day , I’d thought.

Despite him saying that he didn’t want me to make any decisions because of everything that happened with Hattie and Shep, that’s exactly what happened. Seeing how close they came to losing the person they love made me realize how stupid all my fears and insecurities and whatever the hell else that caused me to bolt that night really were. I know what I want and even if there’s a chance that things don’t work out the way I want, that Rizzo isn’t really ready for a relationship and I get my heart broken, it’s worth the risk.

I’m not going to tell him any of that yet, of course. I don’t want him thinking it’s just a knee-jerk reaction, or anything, because it’s really not. The situation just made me push past the bullshit and accept what I’d been feeling for months. Even so, for now, we’re just friends, but I can admit to myself that I’m already falling for him more and more each day.

“How about this one?” I call from across the Christmas tree lot. It’s only a few days away, but they thankfully still have a pretty decent selection.

“Where the hell are you?” he yells back.

“Marco!” I call, running my hands over the limbs of a giant spruce.

“Polo!”

I grin. “Marco!”

He bursts out from behind a tree behind me, settling his big hands on my waist and squeezing, making me yelp and giggle as he tickles me. I whirl and dance out of his grip, smacking his arms.

“Asshole,” I breathe. He smiles and winks. “What about this one?” I ask again, pointing to the beauty I found.

“You don’t think it’s a little…uh, gigantic?” He eyes the tree, pulling his gaze up, up, up to the very top. It’s admittedly pretty damn big, but he’s got the space for it now. His living room ceilings go on forever and this baby will look absolutely perfect tucked into the corner next to the fireplace.

“It’s perfect,” I say, staring at the tree in wonder. “It’s your first Christmas in your new place. It should be perfect.”

“Well how the hell can I say no to that, huh?”

“Plus, I already told Ollie we were going to get an even bigger tree than the one Shep cut down, so you kind of have to get this one.” He laughs at that, his blue eyes sparkling, and fuck if my stomach doesn’t do a stupid little flip.

“A chance to one-up Shep? Done and done!” He turns and scans the lot for an employee and catches someone’s eye. “We’ll take this one!” The kid looks to be seventeen, maybe eighteen, but exhausted and completely over working at the lot as he heads over, but once he’s closer he stutter-steps and his eyes light up.

“Oh my God, are you…you are! Holy shit, you’re Anthony Rizzo! I’m a huge fan, dude. I have your jersey at home and everything!”

“Oh thanks, man,” Rizzo says, holding out his hand to the kid. He looks like he might pass out, but reaches out to shake it. “You can call me Rizzo.”

“Holy shit. I’m Tyler.”

“Nice to meet you, Tyler.”

“Oh man, this is so cool. Would you, uh, would you mind taking a picture with me? My buddy Jake is never going to believe I actually met you—you’re pretty much his hero.”

“Psh, fuck that, give him a call right now, man,” Rizz says.

“Seriously?!” The kid looks like he just got told he had free run of Disneyworld for the day. Rizzo grins and Tyler frantically FaceTimes his friend. Rizzo throws me a wink and I smile back. He’s so good with his fans. I’ve seen him spend literal hours after games making sure every single kid who wants one gets an autograph or a picture.

Jake answers on the second ring.

“Jake! Dude, you’ll never guess who’s here right now.”

Rizzo steps into the frame and slings an arm around Tyler’s shoulder and I hear Jake sputter.

“What’s up, Jake?” Rizzo says with a winning smile. “My buddy Tyler here says you’re a Vipers fan.”

“Holy shit! Oh my God. Is this real?? Oh my God! ”

They chat for a few minutes about hockey and Rizzo’s personal stats and records, but Rizz is great about steering the conversation back to them too, asking them about school or their own hockey accolades. It’s completely obvious that both boys are in heaven and fuck if I don’t fall a little more in love with him as I watch. There are so many athletes out there that don’t give a shit about their fans, but Rizzo—almost all of the Vipers really—actually take the time to show them that they care. It’s amazing to see.

He meets my gaze and arches a brow in question. I nod, knowing exactly what he’s asking.

“Hey listen, my friend Nat here,” he turns the phone so that Jake can see me and I wave, and then twists it back to his own face, “can work some magic and get you guys in the locker room before the next game if you want. You can meet all the guys, get as many autographs and pictures as you want. VIP tickets. Free food. The whole shebang. What do you say? My Christmas gift to two of our best fans.”

Tyler’s eyes snap to mine over the top of the phone, mouth gaping.

“For real!?”

“Absolutely,” I assure him. “Your families too,” I add. We always keep a handful of tickets and swag set aside for stuff like this.

“Oh my God, my dad is going to lose his mind. Like, legit, I think he might cry. This is a way better Christmas gift than the socks I got him,” Jake says and I can’t help but laugh. They finally hang up, Rizz takes a few pics with Tyler, posting them to his own social media immediately and tagging Tyler, surely making the kid feel like Superman. I get his and Jake’s information to get their VIP packages set up while Rizzo works on getting the huge tree strapped to the top of his Range Rover.

We head to find ornaments and lights next and I eye him while he drives.

“That was really cool of you.”

He scoffs. “I’m always cool, Nat.”

“And so humble too,” I say with a roll of my eyes, turning up the radio.

“Do I get to open it now?” AJ asks—yeah, he’s AJ again, what can I say? He shakes the box near his ear like he can figure out what’s inside by listening to it. “Come on, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.”

I laugh. “You sound like a five-year-old, you know that right?” He grins at me.

“You can open yours too if you want. Come onnn,” he whines and I can’t help but smile. I’ve been doing a lot of that this last week. It’s crazy that to think that it’s only been a handful of days since Hattie was almost kidnapped and God knows what else, since Shep was shot, and since my entire life shifted in front of my eyes once again. It’s so cliché to not make these choices or see the truth until I’m presented with a life-altering event, but it is what it is. The important thing is that I see it and I do make the choice, eventually.

“Ok, ok fine,” I say with a laugh. “We can open them now.”

Since I’m still on the outs with dad and AJ wanted to let Hattie and Shep have family time for Christmas Eve, we decided to spend it together. As friends. Still just friends and nothing more…for now.

He rummages through the boxes under the tree. At least twenty of them have Ollie’s name on them and it warms my heart all over again seeing how much he loves that little girl. He finally pulls out one with ice-skating tacos on it and I grin, wondering where in the hell he found the paper. He hands it over and settles onto the floor in front of the couch beside me. His couches are really comfy, but I’ve become slightly obsessed with lounging on the super plush rug in front of his giant fireplace. Our gazes meet, the twinkling lights from the tree making his baby blues sparkle, and suddenly, I can’t hold the words back anymore.

“Hey, AJ I…” He quirks a brow, his body tensing when I use the name out loud.

“I’m AJ again?” he asks quietly. Here it goes .

“If you want to be?” He exhales slowly and the moment he waits before answering feels like an eternity. He said he didn’t want me to make any rash decisions, but this isn’t that. I want to tell him everything, to explain how I’m feeling, how I’ve felt from the beginning if I’m being completely honest with myself, but I’m going to let him decide. If he isn’t ready—or, worse, doesn’t even want this anymore—then that’s ok too. I’ll live with whatever he decides and we’ll be fine.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more, Nat.” I sigh in relief, a smile curling my lips.

“About that night at your apartment.”

“Nat, you don’t have to?—”

“I do though. I’m sorry I freaked. That was more about me than you and I shouldn’t have said the shit I did.”

“It’s alright. I’d be lying if I said I was completely sure how the fuck to even navigate this. I can’t promise I’ll be a good…boyfriend or whatever,” he says, running his hand through his hair and shrugging the word off like it’s nothing, but I can tell there’s a bit of nervousness there, “but I can promise that I’ll try, that I really fucking want to try. I’m not just after sex with you, Nat—though I’ve been thinking about that nonstop since that very first night, don’t ever fucking doubt that.” I huff out a laugh. “There’s just something…” He shakes himself, seeming frustrated or afraid that he’s saying too much. “I just want to try to be more. That’s the only way I know to say it. I want more with you. And I would never, ever cheat on you, Nat. On anyone. I think that’s fucked up and cowardly and that’s not me. If my feelings ever changed, I would be a man about it and tell you. I would never go behind your back and hurt you like that.”

“I know. I really do. Like I said, that was my own stuff coming out. And I want more too. So…we’ll just take things slow and not put pressure on, deal?”

“Deal,” he says and the absolutely devastatingly perfect smile he gives me breaks my heart a little.

“Ok, ok, back to presents.”

“On three,” he says with a grin, and I nod.

“One…two…” I can’t say I’m surprised when he starts to tear into his box before he reaches three.

“Fucking cheater,” I grumble, rolling my eyes as I start to unwrap my own gift like an actual civilized human instead of a honey badger. He throws the scraps of wrapping paper into the air and I giggle, trying to shield myself from the falling debris.

“I play to win, Nat. You should know this by now….” He trails off when he looks in the box and then busts out laughing. “Oh my God.” He pulls out the gift, still cracking up. “Is this…a mistletoe belt buckle??”

I smile. “It seemed right up your alley.” His eyes spark with amusement, mischief, and a touch of promise, and my stomach twists with a quick, sharp stab of desire. It’s been too long since I’ve touched him, since I’ve had his lips on mine, his hands on my body. He stands and pulls his shirt up, holding the hem beneath his chin so he can fiddle with his belt unobstructed, and fuck me . I swear he didn’t have this many abs the last time I saw him. They’ve multiplied in the last week since he got his tattoo. I barely stop myself from reaching out and running my fingers over those enticing dips and ridges, possibly running my tongue across those criminal fucking indentions beside his hips.

I pull my gaze away and open my own box, huffing out a laugh when I pull the sweater out.

“Santa’s Favorite Ho Ho Ho?” I arch a brow at him and he grins.

“You would definitely be his favorite,” he says with a wink. I laugh and pull it on over my t-shirt, leaning back to show it off. He beams, clearly proud of himself, and I love that we both got each other stupid shit. Just one more way we seem to always be on the same page with things. I’m not saying we agree on everything—in fact, some of our drunken debates about the dumbest stuff are some of my favorite memories—but we just…get each other. Ugh. I sound so fucking corny.

I laugh when he finishes securing the belt buckle in place, the mistle toe hanging just over his crotch. He spreads his arms, showing off his new accessory, and then he arches a sexy, teasing brow at me.

“You know the rules, Nat…”

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined this exact scenario when I’d bought the damn thing, but I hadn’t been sure if we’d be in this place yet or not. So, I’m all too happy to set my empty box aside and push up to my knees kneeling in front of him. He inhales sharply, like he wasn’t sure if I’d be game or not. I give him a sultry grin and lean forward, tugging up his shirt to kiss his stomach just below his navel. He shudders and I meet his gaze up his body.

“Want this gone,” I whisper, shoving his shirt farther up his torso and planting another kiss on his smooth, taut skin. He quickly yanks it off, so fast I can’t help but chuckle lightly, but then I’m free to explore the perfect parts of him I’ve missed so much. I run my hands over his abs and chest, trailing my fingers over the bottom edge of the cross before he holds my palm against his heart, letting me feel the thundering. I leave it there and run the other one down his side, making him jerk and tremble.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this…” he rasps.

“You have no idea, AJ…” I drag my tongue across that indention, from hip bone to just above his cock, and he groans deep in his throat. He gathers my hair in one of his big hands and holds it out of my face. I love that he loves to watch. I slowly begin to undo his belt after all his hard work and ease his zipper downward, leaning in to kiss along the same path over his boxer-briefs. He’s so hard already, and my heart races in anticipation. I’ve been dreaming about him since our last night together, thinking about him constantly. I’ve missed my lips on him, my tongue, my fingers. I’ve missed the sounds he makes and the way he talks. I’ve missed the way he tastes. I’ve missed everything .

“Don’t make me wait, Nat. For the love of fucking God, don’t make me wait…” His muscles are clenched tight and a slight tremor runs through his entire body. God is he as desperate as I am right now? Impossible. But he must be damn close with the way his breath hitches and his pulse races at his throat. I grin as I trail my hand down his chest where it joins my other one, poised at the hem of his jeans. I grip them and his underwear together and start to tug them down—only for the doorbell to ring.

“You have got to kidding me,” he barks out, clearly annoyed as hell. “I’m going to kill whoever is at that door…”

I sigh and pull back, knowing that only a few people would be allowed through the gate, and a sharp sting of fear goes through me at the idea of something being wrong down at Hattie and Shep’s place.

“Go check, what if it’s?—”

“Shep. I know, I know. I’m going.” He eyes me for a moment, the hunger and yearning in his eyes making a shiver run through me. “Later,” he promises, pinching my chin between his thumb and forefinger in that incredibly sexy way that makes almost every bit of self-control leave my body. He sighs and releases me, grumbling as he adjusts himself and puts his pants back to rights, grabbing his shirt from the floor and tugging it on. I stand and smooth my hair down. Whoever is at the door better be glad they showed up when they did because a few more seconds and there would have been no stopping this for anything, of that I am painfully aware. The heat flowing through me is like a living, breathing thing, stalking inside me and demanding release. I literally ache, and I clench my thighs tightly to try to assuage it. It does absolutely no good, of course.

To my utter delight, he grabs my hand and tugs me with him to answer the door. I lean into his side as he swings it open, trying not to think the worst. My brow furrows when I see two strangers on the doorstep…but no, not complete strangers. They look familiar…

“Mom? Dad?” AJ breathes. “What the…what are you doing here?” I drop his hand and take a step away so he can wrap his arms around his parents on the porch. “You aren’t supposed to be here until after New Years.” He’s surprised but I can see the absolute joy in his eyes at seeing his parents here.

“With everything that’s happened with Shep, we decided to postpone our trip and come out here instead. We thought it would be a nice surprise…” His mom’s eyes shift to me and I give her a somewhat nervous smile. “Oh goodness, did we interrupt something…?”

“No! No, not at all.” I feel my cheeks heat and AJ gives me a flirty look.

“Mom, dad, you remember my friend Nat?”

“How could we forget the first girl you’ve had on a FaceTime call with us in...ever?” his dad says, stepping forward and wrapping me in a big hug. I’m surprised but smile, hugging him back.

“Hello again Just A Friend Nat,” his mom says with a warm smile, stepping in to give me a hug as well. We both laugh and AJ runs his hands through his hair. She pulls away and eyes my sweater and I look down. Oh God. This is what I’m wearing when I officially meet his parents for the first time? Fucking hell…

“Oh, uh…”

“Hilarious,” she assures me. She glances to AJ and purses her lips. “And is that a…mistletoe belt buckle you have on, dear?” The more she speaks, the more I can hear the undertone of her accent. Ray nearly chokes on his laughter and AJ rubs a hand over the back of his neck.

“It was a gag gift,” I say, scrunching my nose, suddenly worried that they’re going to think I’m an awful person or something.

“Equally hilarious,” Muriel laughs heartily. “I’m honestly surprised he doesn’t own one already.”

I let out a relieved sigh-slash-laugh and meet AJ’s eyes. He winks and I feel myself relax.

“Well come in outta the cold. Let me grab your bags. I mean it, dad. Leave it and get inside,” he warns and I can’t help but smile. Ray holds up his hands in surrender and walks further into the foyer, Muriel on his heels. I glance back as AJ grabs the bags from the porch and he gives me an apologetic look. I shake him off, letting him know it’s fine. I turn back to the others.

“Can you I get you a drink? Kitchen and living room are right this way,” I say gesturing. They walk ahead of me, ooing and aahing about the house as they go and I take a deep, settling breath.

Christmas with his parents.

So much for no pressure.