Page 16

Sixteen

RIZZO

“Stop. Fucking. Doing. This. To. Me. You. Asshole,” I snap at Shep, punctuating each word with a punch to the arm without the gunshot wound in it.

Gunshot.

My best friend was fucking shot . I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. The past forty-eight hours are a blur of flashing lights, police reports, waiting rooms, and some of the greatest terror I’ve ever known. He chuckles lightly and grabs the front of my shirt, pulling me in for a somewhat awkward, one-armed hug.

“I love you too,” he says, voice rough. I let out a long, long, long breath, one I feel like I’ve been holding since the minute he called me as he raced to Hattie’s place that day. I’d immediately called Lance, one of my buddies with Seattle PD to bring in the calvary, and made like a bat out of hell for Mac’s house myself. I pulled up just after Rand, the head of security at the arena, and, as stupid as it was, we both ran right inside. The scene was like something out of one of those crime shows or maybe even a horror movie. I shudder now even thinking about it: Connor collapsing to the floor, covered in blood; Hattie screaming over him; a psycho lying a few feet away with a giant gash in his side, crimson pooling all around him. I’m not even ashamed to say that I was hoping he was dead. He wasn’t, but he’s locked up tight and from what I hear, he’s staying that way for a good long while.

I finally pull away and sit on the side of the bed.

“Can we maybe make it like a New Year’s Resolution or something for you to not end up in the hospital next year? That would be fucking great.” He huffs out a laugh, wincing a bit. The bullet went straight through and by some miracle, the damage was minimal. He’ll be out for a bit, but he’ll make a full recovery and be back on the ice in no time, all things considered.

“I’ll see what I can do.” We share a smile that says way more than words ever could and that tight fist strangling my heart over these past few days finally eases the fuck off.

He gets released the next day and even though I’m right around the corner now, I practically live at his place for the next week, helping with Ollie and trying to keep the circus at bay. Pretty much everyone in the whole damn organization ends up here at one point or another. The guy is well-loved that’s for damn sure.

Right now, it’s just me and Nat on Shep Watch while Mac takes a much-deserved shower and Ollie is having a play date with a friend from school. Mac has barely left Shep’s side since he came home and I can’t say that I blame her. I can’t even imagine being in that situation. They both could have been killed and the thought makes my chest feel cold and hollow. If it had been Nat in trouble like that…I force the thought away, afraid to even think it.

“It makes you think about how quickly things can change, doesn’t it?” Nat whispers now. We sit at the kitchen table while Shep naps on the couch.

“It does,” I agree. She reaches over and places a hand on my forearm, holding my gaze. I can see the wheels turning and as much as I want it, I don’t want it like this. I know she’s gotta be freaked out and this whole brush with death is probably bringing up memories of the sudden loss of her mom, but I don’t want that to be the reason she agrees to give this another shot.

“Rizzo, I…I mean, we…”

“Not right now, Nat. Please.” I pull my arm away and run a hand through my hair. “I don’t want a pity fuck and I don’t want you making a decision based on this insane situation that’s got everyone all keyed up.” I sigh and look up again, feeling weary down to my bones. I need sleep. I need to believe that everything will be fine. I need to stop seeing Connor shot and possibly fucking dying on the floor in front of me every time I close my eyes. I keep having nightmares, each one slightly different—sometimes we don’t make it in time; sometimes we get there in time to watch Shep get shot; other times, it isn’t Shep at all, but Nat with the bullet sailing towards her. Those are the worst—but all leave me gasping for breath when I wake tangled in my sheets, covered in sweat with my heart racing.

She holds my gaze. I didn’t mean for it to sound harsh or anything, but it’s the truth. I don’t want her to suddenly decide she wants to give us a real go just because she’s having a life is short moment. If and when she gets over whatever made her bolt from my apartment that night, I want it to be because she actually wants it. After a few minutes of studying me, she finally nods, and I think there’s a bit of respect in her eyes.

“Alright,” she says, giving me a small smile. My lips curl in return and something in my chest unclenches for the first time in weeks. Mac comes back from her shower then, toweling her hair.

“Thanks, y’all. God, I needed that.”

“You really did. You were starting to get a little ripe, Mac.” She rolls her eyes and Nat snorts.

“Of course, Hads,” Nat says, getting up from the table. “Can we do anything else to help for tonight?”

“Nah, I think we’re good. Things are finally settling down a bit around here, so we should be all set.” Nat wraps Hattie in a tight hug and when she steps away, I do the same. She squeezes me tight and I kiss her on the head.

“Call me if you need anything. I can be here in five minutes.”

“I will. Thanks, Rizz. And tell Lance thank you for me. He’s been amazing through all of this.”

Nat and I head through the living room towards the front door, but I stop by the couch on the way.

I lean down and whisper, “I know you’re awake, you asshole. Stop eavesdropping.” He grins but keeps his eyes shut to maintain his innocence. I slap him gently on the shoulder. “See ya later, bud.”

Once outside, Nat turns to me, eyes filled with determination. I quirk a brow, wondering where this is going.

“What you said in there, about us not just jumping back into bed or whatever because of everything that’s happened?” I nod. “You’re right.”

“Well, I usually am,” I say with a smirk and a smile curls her lips even as she shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“Ya know what, I’ve suddenly changed my mind about what I was going to say…”

I hold up my hands in surrender.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry. Please continue.”

“So, I think you’re right, but…well…” She sighs heavily. “I miss my fucking friend, Rizz.” My chest twists. As much as I want more with Nat, I really miss the way things used to be between us too. I miss sending each other stupid memes. I miss laughing at inside jokes so hard that it makes everyone else around us annoyed as hell. I miss venting after a hard game or when I feel like I’m fucking up. I miss her telling me like it is even when I might not want to hear it. I miss her. I miss us.

“I miss you too, Nat. A lot.”

“So, I have a proposition.”

“Oh now you know I love a good proposition.” She huffs out a laugh.

“Why don’t we focus on being friends again— real friends, the way we were. None of the fake bullshit we’ve both been pulling lately.” I can’t help but smile. Guess neither of us was really doing a great job of fooling the other one. She fiddles with her key ring while she waits for my answer. Is she really worried that I’ll say no? That I can’t go back to being friends now? Sure, I still want more than friendship, want it so badly that it actually startled me when I first really let myself think about it, but if I can’t have that, I’ll take the next best thing and that’s having her back in my corner again. And maybe things will change from there…

“I think that a true friend would want to come help me unpack a bunch of boxes. I’ve been really fucking slacking. We can order pizza and I have plenty of beer in the fridge.” The tension eases out of her shoulders and she smiles, a real, full smile that I haven’t seen in too long.

“Throw in cheesy bread and you’ve got yourself a deal, Thirst Trap.”

Hours later, we’ve pretty much given up on unpacking and are lounging in the living room surrounded by bubble wrap and stacks of random shit. She’s laying on her stomach on the rug in front of the fire and thumbing through an old yearbook.

“Oh my God, you were so tiny!” she exclaims, giggling as she stares at the team photo from my freshman year. “You had to have weighed like eighty pounds soaking wet here.”

“I hit my growth spurt late, alright,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck, but smiling. She laughs lightly, turning pages and looking more relaxed than I’ve seen her in a while. Her phone buzzes—again. It’s like the tenth time in the last hour. Every time, she glances at her screen, clenches her jaw, and puts the phone away without answering.

“So, who are we avoiding?” I ask. I prepare myself for it to be another guy. I can handle that. Probably. She sits up and leans her back against the couch opposite the one I’m on.

“My dad,” she says with a sigh, surprising me. Nat hardly ever talks about her family. “We got in a big fight the other day. The day everything happened with Hattie and Shep actually. I’d just stormed out of the restaurant when I got your call.”

“Do you wanna tell me what the fight was about?”

“The utter disappointment that is me pretty much.”

My brow furrows. “You can’t be serious?”

“Ohh as a heart attack.”

I slide off the couch to the floor so that we’re eye level across from each other. I spread my legs out in front of me and ignore the stupid, stupid rush I feel when her leg settles against mine. I’m going to have to get that shit under control if we’re back to just friends again.

“How is that possible? How could anyone think you’re a disappointment?” She gives me a sad smile before she exhales roughly.

“He’s just always wanted to dictate everything in my life: where I went to school, what I majored in, my career after graduation. And for a while, I let him, but after my mom died it was like everything just became painfully clear suddenly, like I’d been looking at my life without glasses on and then BAM—20/20 vision. I was really miserable in that life, just kind of…existing, not really living. So, I quit my job in New York and moved back home to start over doing something I actually chose for myself for once. I found the job with the Vipers and I’ve honestly loved every second of it.”

“But dad isn’t thrilled?”

She huffs out a humorless laugh.

“He thinks it’s ridiculous and that it’s just a phase I’m going through trying to get over losing mom.” She shakes her head angrily, but there’s so much pain in her eyes that my chest clenches. I want so badly to fix it somehow, to make the pain go away, but I have no idea how. She shakes herself. “Anyway, I just wish that he could understand that I’m finally happy, that he could just accept it and not care that I’m not following in his footsteps, ya know?” All because she doesn’t want to be a damn realtor too? What the hell?

“I’m really sorry, Nat. That’s…that’s awful. I can’t say that I know what it’s like because I was really lucky that mom and Ray always supported me no matter what I wanted to do—even when I decided to give musical theater a try.” She arches a brow and I shudder. “It did not end well and solidified my desire to make hockey my life. But, they were both there for me a thousand percent, Hank too as the bonus dad-like figure. So, while I can’t relate, I can tell you that I think it’s shitty and that he’s an idiot.”

She exhales roughly, as if she’s been needing to hear those words for a long time.

“Thanks, Rizzo.”

“You’re welcome.” Our gazes hold for a long moment and I try to ignore the heat that starts to simmer. Friends, friends, friends . She smiles and knocks my ankle with hers.

“So tell me more about this musical theater fail…