Page 35 of Provocation (Den of Deception #3)

Chapter Eight

DAISY

I ’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel when we get to the lab and grab the supplies we came for. But I keep glancing at Blake, mostly because I’m afraid he thinks I’m some kind of psycho killer, or a sociopath.

Maybe I am. This is body number two after all.

Shouldn’t I be upset?

I’m not. Well, my tummy was. It feels better after throwing up. To be honest, I’m sort of just glad I didn’t get blood on my new coat.

Is that something a sociopath would think about? I try to remember how I actually felt after I killed Larson, but nothing comes to me. As usual, it’s blank.

We put the supplies in the cab with us, not wanting to open the bed and chance anyone seeing the big guy that’s back there wrapped in black bags and duct tape.

I surreptitiously watch Blake as he drives us back into Richmond proper.

My mind is strangely numb as we back into the alleyway by the club.

Less than two hours ago I was excited that I’d got my revenge on the people who’d been so nasty to me.

It doesn’t even feel like the same night now.

There’s no one out here anymore, no line down the street.

Just the faint beat of the music inside.

Considering we have to unload the body now, I guess that’s some good luck.

Blake gets out of the truck, and I stay where I am.

What if he tells the others what I did, and they’re upset?

They might finally understand that I’m not normal .

What if John finds out? I hear Stoke’s voice in my head telling me to show the proper emotions.

There was a book at the Heath that gave scenarios and the correct responses to them.

What one’s emotional response should be after shooting a criminal in the back wasn’t in it.

He comes to my side just as the side door to the club opens, and I see Mav and Shade. Both are looking grim as they step outside.

‘He was bad, right?’ I whisper to Blake. ‘He seemed bad.’

‘Yeah, sweetheart. He was a real bad guy.’

Feeling sick again despite Blake’s reassurance, I take off my seatbelt and slide down to the ground slowly.

I notice that there’s a hatch in the ground by the building’s wall. It’s open.

‘Cameras are off,’ Shade murmurs, squeezing my hand when he gets close.

I peep down into the dark hole as I hear the tailgate being opened and the grunt of someone lifting something heavy. The plastic wrapped body is unceremoniously thrown down into the black, and Mav closes it up quietly, fastening a padlock to secure it.

‘Coal shoot from the old days,’ he murmurs as I stare at it.

He puts his arm around me and leads me into the club. Earlier, all I wanted to do was dance after my plan had worked, but now I don’t even look up as I trudge up the stairs to the office behind the guys.

Inside, the door closes behind me.

‘What happened?’ Shade asks.

He doesn’t sound angry, but I don’t look at him.

‘We were going to the lab on campus to grab some supplies. On the way, I got a message from…one of Kormak’s guys. He said he was headed to Sal’s because the old man still hadn’t paid his dues.’

‘So why did you go?’ Shade demands to know.

‘Because the fucker threatened to assault Sal’s daughter last time. She’s just a kid. Fourteen or so. I told Daisy to stay in the truck. I went in. I stopped him from… what he was gonna do, but he pulled a gun on me and?—’

‘I shot him,’ I finish.

I look up. Mav’s hand finds mine, but I move away a little. I don’t want comfort. I want them to know I’m not evil.

‘Daisy.’

I look up at Mav.

‘Are you okay?’

I frown at him. ‘He was going to kill Blake.’

‘We get it, but how do you feel?’

I open my mouth and close it again–several times.

‘I don’t know,’ I say finally, looking down at the couch and playing with one of the seams. ‘I’m glad my coat is okay. My tummy hurts. I’m afraid.’

‘Of what?’

‘What you think of me.’ I curl in on myself. ‘What you all think of me now.’

Mav lets out a breath. ‘Maybe you both should give us a minute.’

Shade nods. ‘Let’s get rid of it now.’

He and Blake leave the office. I stare at the worn floor.

‘Daisy?’

‘Yes?’

‘Look at me, please?’

I do as Mav asks.

‘This is one of those things you don’t get,’ he says.

It is, I realize.

‘Do you want me to explain it?’

I nod.

‘You killed a guy. Whether you meant to, or not. Whether he was a bad guy, or not. You did that.’

‘Yes.’

‘Blake said you threw up.’

‘I felt kind of sick afterward. I still do a little.’

‘Because of what you did?’

I frown, looking back down at the floor.

‘No,’ I say after several seconds, then wince a little. ‘I don’t know.’

I look up at him again. ‘I don’t feel bad about what I did. If I hadn’t pulled the trigger, Blake wouldn’t be here.’

‘Then why did you feel sick?’

Before I know it, tears are coming to my eyes. I try to blink them away, but they just keep coming.

‘B-because you’re going to think there’s something w-wrong with me!’ I wail.

‘Us?’ His arms envelope me. ‘No, Tulip. We aren’t. We don’t. I promise.’

‘Then why were you being weird when we got back?’

He lets out a small chuckle. ‘We thought you might be upset. Sometimes you don’t show it. That’s all.’

‘You don’t think that I’m… a cold-blooded serial killer, or something?’

He huffs. ‘No, Daisy. None of us think that.’

‘But I’ve…killed before,’ I wince. ‘It’s the second time. It’s sort of becoming an alarming trend.’

‘Doesn’t count,’ he says, and I look at him in surprise.

He purses his lips. ‘What? It doesn’t. You were a kid, Daisy. Doesn’t count.’

He hands me a bottle of water and I drink it thirstily. ‘Want to call it a night?’

I nod. ‘Just have to start the next batch. And maybe a shower. I feel…’ I scrunch up my nose. ‘ Death dirty .’

His lips twitch and he messages the others to let them know before he leads me out of the office and down to the cellar door.

I go to the lab and mix the first ingredients together, putting them in the mixer and setting my alarm for a few hours later.

Mav stays in the lab with me and locks it up when I’m finished.

Just as we’re leaving, Shade and Blake return from one of the tunnels.

‘All done?’ Mav asks.

Shade nods. ‘Doubt he’ll ever be found, but if he is, there’s nothing to tie us to this. We wiped the gun and got rid of that, too.’

They both give me lingering looks, and I smile at them.

‘I’m not upset,’ I tell them. ‘I’m just glad that he didn’t kill Blake.’

Blake comes forward and, not touching me with his hands, puts his head to mine. ‘No one’s ever saved my life before, Daisy. Thanks doesn't seem like enough.’

‘Pizza or tacos should do it,’ I reply, glad we’re back in social realms I understand.

His slow grin makes something inside me unclench. He doesn't think I’m a freak.

‘You got it, gorgeous.’

‘Let’s go to bed,’ Shade yawns.

‘What about the launch party?’ I ask.

‘Dom can handle it. He—’ Shade frowns, pulling out his phone, his expression darkening as he reads whatever it is. ‘Son of a bitch.’

‘What is it?’ Mav asks. ‘Sauvage?’

‘My father.’ He shows us the message.

Marguerite, has been invited by the Bandervilles to Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve accepted on her behalf. Ensure she’s dressed appropriately and gets in the car they send. Alone. 2pm.

The Banderville estate? Alone? My palms are suddenly sweaty. I’m going to have to face Joe without Shade.

I look at him, my stomach clenching all over again.

‘I feel sick again,’ I announce quietly.

The next few days pass without incident, thankfully, because I’ve had just about enough excitement and danger for a while.

I make some more batches of Envy and have some shifts at Grinder. I see Lu a couple of times at work, but she’s really busy with all the stuff she has going on with school and her family, so we don’t get to hang out outside of our shifts together, just message each other at regular intervals.

Disappointingly, the weather has been wet and then very icy. Dagorhir is cancelled until after the holiday because the battlefield is literally a skating rink, and is deemed much too dangerous.

The guys keep me close all the time. There’s always one of them nearby, and if one of them isn’t available, then there are always two KIP brothers lurking.

We don’t spend nights in the KIP house anymore at all, and I think it’s because they consider the club safer.

I don’t mind. I like Wrath, and the people who work there.

Even Dom seems to be warming up to me a little.

Plus, the guys and I can all sleep together in the big bed in the bedroom off The Dark Lounge.

When I go running, one of the guys is always with me, usually Mav, and we explore the streets of Richmond together.

I don’t hear anymore from the stalker, and I haven’t found out any more about my mom’s death, but Blake says the program he wrote to fix the corrupted video files is almost finished running.

Other than that, I try not to think about the guy I killed, and his body hasn’t been found so I put the whole thing out of my mind.

I read a little of my mom’s diary every day.

It doesn’t seem to hold any secrets as yet, but I’m sifting through the entries quite slowly, fascinated by her perceptions of me and Shade, the snippets of her daily life with John just after they married.

He doesn’t seem like the same guy in these pages at all.

It’s almost as if, at first, he really did love her.