Page 21 of Provocation (Den of Deception #3)

Chapter Five

DAISY

W hen I woke up, I was feeling like I could take on the world and win. Although I was alone, remembering Shade being with me almost all night and what he said to me gave me a warm, tingly sensation through my body that made me feel… happy.

But now that I’m standing in the hall being confronted with Blake’s secrets in the cold light of day, I sort of just want to go back to bed.

But I can’t. There’s too much to do today. So, I sidle past Blake, giving Shade a small smile as I walk into the bathroom to take a shower.

I’m quick, the sheer amount of things I need to do feeling like a weight on my shoulders. I should make a list, put everything on it, and then start crossing stuff off. I’ll feel a little more in control then.

I notice a muffin and a cup of tea on my desk when I get back to my room and I smile as I have my breakfast. My expression lingers as I get dressed and make sure I have everything I need in my bag for the day.

Then, I sit down and write that list. I put everything on it, from getting up and dressed to having dinner.

Even crossing off the first several lines makes me feel a lot better.

I just need to keep on top of things. That’s all.

I’d actually forgotten that I’m meeting with Bennet after my shift at Grinder until I was speaking to Blake in the hall, which is annoying because I wanted to find out from Mav if he got any data back from his brother so I could make changes to Envy before I make the second batch tonight.

I send Bennet a message, saying we should meet in the library after class, and he sends me a thumbs up and a heart.

I eye those little emojis dubiously, hoping he doesn’t want to just chat nonstop like he did the last time we met up.

Trying to keep him on track took a lot of effort and I don’t think I’m going to have the energy today with everything else going on.

I message Lu at the same time because I haven’t heard from her for a couple of days, which isn’t like her. I hope she’s okay.

I look at my list again, scanning it quickly, focusing on those crossed-out things. There’s a knock on my door. I open it to find Blake on the other side. He’s moving from foot to foot like he’s nervous and my stomach clenches.

Is this where he tells me about his other girlfriend, or where he gives me some vague answer that makes no sense?

‘I got this for you,’ he says quietly, producing a box. ‘It’s an implant. We can’t keep, you know, having sex without protection.’

‘Okay,’ I say quietly.

‘You should wait until your next, uh, cycle to make sure you’re not already… I can put it in for you.’

My eyes widen as I stare at his shoes.

Pregnant. I hadn’t even thought… I do some quick calculations and realize that it should be coming anytime. That is, if I’m not pregnant. I put the thought out of my mind immediately. I don’t have the capacity for worrying about that today.

‘I understand,’ I say quietly and hear him let out a slow breath.

‘Can I walk with you to campus?’ he asks. ‘We need to talk.’

Those words make me feel sick.

‘Sure,’ I say, grabbing my coat.

The present he got for me, I remind myself as I run my hand down the soft indigo fabric. My legs feel like rubber as I grab my stuff and start walking with him downstairs.

He takes my bag for me, and I resist the urge to snatch it back in case he suddenly yells. ‘I have a girlfriend!’ and then runs off with my books, or something.

That’s probably not going to happen.

I don’t look at him as we descend the stairs. A couple of the KIP members greet us, and I smile and wave, still not a hundred percent sure how to interact with guys who were my sworn enemies last month.

When we’re out of the house, Blake takes my hand. His feels warm in mine. I look down at it and then up at him.

‘Remember how I said my dad was in jail?’ he asks without any further preamble.

Not sure where this is going, I nod hesitantly.

‘And that my mom liked expensive things?’

Again, I nod.

‘Well, my dad worked a shift job at an agricultural company. He never earned enough for the lifestyle my mom wanted. He maxed out his credit cards and then tried to get a loan to make her stay with us. But he had no collateral for the bank, so we went to…a guy.’

‘A guy?’ I ask.

‘Yeah. The kind of guy you get money from when you can’t get it from anywhere else.

The kind who wants it back plus a lot of interest. Anyway, when it came time to pay it back, my dad didn’t have it.

They were gonna kill him, so he made a deal that he’d start working for them to pay it off.

Then, he went to jail for something dumb and they came for me. ’

I stop walking and look at Blake. I don’t say a word yet. I want him to speak, and I want to hear every word because this wasn’t what I expected. Not at all.

‘I made the same deal to work off my dad’s debt.’ He looks away and then closes his eyes.

He stops talking.

‘What did he go to jail for?’ I ask quietly, prompting him to tell me the rest.

‘He got put inside for… They found out that he’d been stealing equipment from his job and selling it.

It was so dumb. My mom was long gone. Maybe he thought she’d come back if he had some money, I don’t know.

I sold everything in the house before I was kicked out when I couldn’t make the rent, but it was nowhere near enough.

So now, he’s in jail and I’m working it off on my own.

When I leave like that, it’s because I got a message that I need to be somewhere. ’

‘To do work,’ I say.

He nods.

‘What kind of work do they make you do?’

He seems to curl in on himself. ‘Whatever they want, Daisy. I do whatever they want. Sometimes I just need to pick up a package. Other times rough someone up. I do what I’m told.’

I look down at his hand again, and I squeeze it. ‘So…you don’t have a girlfriend? You aren’t, I dunno, breaking up with me? I mean I know we aren’t together, but you know what I mean,’ I babble. ‘I know you aren’t my boyfriend or something.’

‘Daisy, I don’t even want to see anyone else, and I might not be your boyfriend, but you’re my girlfriend.’

‘I am?’ I can’t stop my wide smile at his words.

He nods and tilts his head to the side, his lips turning upwards a little as he assesses me. ‘So, that’s all you have to say?’

Oh .

I didn’t say I was sorry. Everyone says that, don’t they? They expect it back.

‘I’m sorry that your dad spent money he didn’t have,’ I say dutifully. ‘And that your parents are selfish people. It shouldn’t be up to you to fix your dad’s mistake.’

His face scrunches up. ‘You don’t care about the stuff they make me do?’

‘Why would I?’ My look is incredulous. ‘It’s not really you. It’s just something you have to do. That’s all.’

He takes my other hand. ‘Daisy, it is me. The things I’ve done… They’d make you sick to your stomach. You’d see me as a different person entirely. I’m not a good guy.’

My grin seems to take him aback. ‘Of course you are. You might have to do bad things, but that doesn’t make you bad.’

But then I frown. ‘I’ve done bad things, too. Does that mean you think I’m bad?’

‘No,’ he says immediately, stepping close and putting his forehead on mine. ‘Not at all. Never.’

‘Then you can’t be either,’ I say, pulling back and starting to walk again. ‘That wouldn’t make sense. Now, come on or I’ll be late for class, and I won’t finish everything on my very long list.’

I pull him with me and notice that he stays very close until we get to my building. This class is my only one outside of the Novelle Center. He walks inside with me and kisses my lips at the door.

‘See you after class, beautiful.’ He leans in close. ‘Want to know what I’m doing with you later?’

I nod, my legs clenching at his low, gravely tone.

‘I’m going to take you into the Dark Lounge at the club and show you how to use the swing.’

‘But I already know how to swing,’ I say, a little confused.

He laughs. ‘Not the way I do it.’

And then he’s gone, leaving me wondering what he means.

I go into the classroom and sit at the back so I can see the whole room, opening my textbook to the right page and trying to pay attention.

The teacher in this class tends to drone on and rarely says anything interesting, so I’ve read the textbook in advance.

I listen to him begin and stifle a yawn, but luckily the hour goes quickly.

Before I know it, I’m in Grinder and half my shift is over.

I’m on the industrial coffee machine today while someone else is on register and a couple are making cold beverages and food.

I feel very barista-like as I make coffee after coffee methodically and perfectly.

I do wish Lu was here because it’s always more fun working with a friend, and the others don’t talk to me much, but she’s messaged me back to say she has a show coming up around Christmas so she’s in rehearsals, which is why she’s been MIA.

I knuckle down and keep up with my orders, making sure my workspace stays tidy, and everything is washed up as I use it.

Everything is going fine, but then a customer yells at me for making their drink wrong and then one of my co-workers is sick and has to leave during the lunch rush, and then a blender explodes soy milk all over me.

By the time I leave, I feel numb and exhausted, and I smell of stale coffee and soybeans.

All I want to do is go back to the house and close my eyes in the quiet for a while.

But then I remember I have to meet Bennet and my heart sinks.

I let out a groan, wishing I could cancel, but we don’t have much time left to get this project done, and I’m not sure when I’ll have time to meet him over the next week or so, what with making batches of Envy.