Page 25 of Protective Love

Tears pour down my face and my ragged breathing echoes through the room as sobs escape me.

I curl my hands into fists, digging my nails into the palm of my hands as I think about the way Jaylen and Sophia stared at me.

The pity in Sophia's eyes once she seemed to realise what was going on shattered the remainder of the armour I protect myself with, cracking open my chest and allowing my feelings to slowly push their way out of me.

The blazing anger in Jaylen's eyes had my hands trembling as the voice in my head screamed at me that he could see the slight bruising that still covered my neck.

I lean my head down to rest atop of my knees and I dig my nails deeper into my palms, causing a sting of pain to shoot through my body, and then I begin to count, simultaneously taking deep breaths with each number I say in my head in an attempt to calm myself down.

Five – the countless years I'd spent with Danny.

Four – the number of times I tried to leave.

Three – the amount of days I've been free of him.

Two – the total of bones he'd broken.

One – the number of people I hate with a deep, burning passion.

I loosen my hands, pulling my nails away from my skin and focus on the bite of pain I feel, distracting myself from all of the thoughts that are trying to flood through my mind.

Wiping my tears away, I take a few more breaths before lifting my head from my knees and blinking rapidly until my bleary vision clears a little.

You don't owe them an answer.

Sort yourself out, paint a smile on your face, and pretend that everything is okay.

They don't need to know anything.

I squeeze my eyes shut, giving myself a few more moments to calm my erratic heartbeat and then I stand up, still pressing my back against the door to support my weak legs.

"You've got this," I whisper, trying to give myself a measly pep talk.

I straighten my shoulders and finally push away from the door, heading towards the toilets so that I can look at myself in the mirror.

When I see the streaks my tears have left, I cringe and bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head as I continue to look at the state of myself.

Turning the tap on, I cup my hands underneath the stream of water and duck down, using my hands to rub away the remainder of my make-up.

When I hear the door to the staff room open behind me, I freeze for a moment, my muscles locking up.

Just breathe.

I wipe the water from my eyes and then grab some tissue to dry the rest of my face.

Turning back around to look at myself in the mirror, I can now see the very obvious greenish tinge to my cheek due to the lack of make-up.

I gently press my fingers against the bruise, noting that the dull shooting pain doesn't even make me flinch.

I frown at myself, horrified that I've become so used to being in pain that it doesn't affect me at all now.

Fluffing up my hair, I use it to cover the left side of my face before I walk out of the bathroom, intent on going to my locker to get the small make-up bag I have in there so that I can cover this mess up again before going about my day.

I only manage to move a few steps out of the bathroom before I see Sophia standing by the door that I was sat against just moments ago, staring at me with the same pitiful look she gave me earlier.

My nails bite back into my skin, and I keep my head down as I force myself to walk towards my locker.

"I'll be back out in a few moments so that I can finish wrapping Jaylen's bandages," I tell her, pulling open my locker and hiding my face behind the metal door.