Page 15

Thirteen

JAXON

D imitri is staying outside, watching Coach.

I refused the first shift. I meant what I said to Hope.

He’s not touching her again and if I had my way, he’d be bleeding out and Dimitri would be digging a shallow grave for him.

Three feet is perfect for coverage and for plants to grow. It’ll hide him better.

Hope refused to go back into the bedroom, which is understandable, so she’s curled up in a ball on the couch under a blanket, her face against the back of the couch.

I keep one hand on her ankle so she knows I’m here.

If she doesn’t want to be alone, I won’t let her be. She won’t be able to question it.

Knox rubs the back of his neck, then looks at his knuckles. He massages them around the open wounds and bruises coming in. He kept saying it wasn’t the time to talk earlier and I don’t know if Hope is asleep, but I can’t wait anymore.

“I need answers, Knox,” I say quietly.

Hope squirms slightly and I rub her ankle.

Knox stares at her for a long moment and leans back against the wall he’s been sitting against. “I tied him to a tree after beating the shit out of him. I should have kicked him in the dick more, made it fucking useless, seen if I could actually bust a ball.”

It doesn’t answer the question of why he’s still alive, which pisses me off. That requires an answer considering all he’s done to Hope. He hurt her. He abused her. He raped her. He took her from us. He destroyed her life a second time.

“He can’t be trusted while alive,” I say.

Knox eyes drop to the floor. “You made yourself clear.”

“The only way he’s not a threat to her is if he’s dead,” I argue. “You really want to go the legal route with this?”

“I don’t want any of this,” he snaps.

“Yeah, neither does she. We’re supposed to protect her and—”

“I know!” He raises his voice.

Hope tightens herself into a smaller ball. I rest back and sigh. “Are we too loud for you?”

No answer. I start to move away from her, so I can have a real conversation with Knox, but she reaches out to me. Her voice is a weak croak. I’m sure it hurts for her to talk. With how badly bruised she is, I can’t imagine breathing is any easier. “Don’t leave me alone.”

Knox’s nostrils flair and he looks away. After a moment of hesitation, he reaches into his bag, pulls something out, and slides it over to me. I don’t recognize it, but after I open it, I realize it’s her diary. I skim a few pages and immediately throw it back at him.

“More of a reason for him to be dead,” I hiss.

He shakes his head. “That’s the point, Jaxon. I read all of that. All of it and more. I know you—”

“I saw plenty,” I hiss.

Hope doesn’t stir at that. I hope she’s finding sleep. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I don’t need to think about the videos I saw. It’s just going to piss me off, lead to me going outside and taking care of Coach. I try to calm my breathing.

Not for Coach. He doesn’t deserve mercy. Hope does.

It’s too much for her.

In too short a time.

Too much has happened and a person can only be pushed so far. Knox is proof of that.

I need to keep my cool and stay in control for Hope.

“Alright. I don’t like it, but I know you have a plan.” I wait for him to nod. When he does, I sigh. “I’m going to try to get some sleep.”

“No worries. I’ll wake you when Dimitri comes in,” he answers. “Not too long until morning.”

I rub Hope’s ankle. “Everything always looks better in the morning.”

It has to.

I breathe out and close my eyes, my hand still resting on Hope’s ankle.

My body is stiff and I groan as I sense Hope move beside me.

My eyes slowly open and I realize Dimitri is sleeping on the floor.

Knox must be outside. I don’t know how he’s still awake and functioning.

I glance back at her and see exactly how bad her bruises are.

Her eye is swollen shut; her jaw has a lump.

There’s a cut across her cheek and nose, there’s a scab on her lip, and her throat is terrible.

How am I supposed to keep my cool when I can see every fucking finger from Coach’s hand around her throat? She sits up, opens her mouth, then touches her throat as she wheezes. I rub her ankle. “I’m going to get you ice. Knox is outside watching your dad. Dimitri is right there.”

She watches me, not responding. I go to the freezer and see plenty of meat.

I sift through it, looking for ice and find nothing.

All the way in the back of the freezer, I find peas that are definitely not fit for eating.

They’re so covered in frost and ice that I’m sure they’ve been there for years, thawing and freezing over and over.

I wrap them in a towel and walk back to Hope.

“On your throat,” I say as she watches me through one squinted eye and one regular. “We’ll take care of the rest of your face too, okay?”

She blinks at me and reaches out for the ice.

She quickly pulls it away, like she’s afraid I’ll grab her and haul her up.

She presses the ice to her throat and sighs slightly.

I blink slowly. Whatever sleep I got was shit, but I need to relieve Knox.

He needs some fucking sleep or he’s going to be twice as hard to deal with.

I’m at my wit’s end and he needs to be sane to talk some sense into me.

DIMITRI

Knox is walking in when I wake up. Hope watches him move like he’s a threat she’s not sure how to plan for. He sits near her on the couch, leans over to rest his head on the arm of the couch and closes his eyes. “Give me like two hours and I’ll be good.”

I don’t have it in me to argue. I’m exhausted. I push myself up and slowly approach Hope. She looks from Knox to me, but slowly deflates. She moves the wrapped pack from her neck to her face and swallows.

“You need some water, don’t you? Don’t talk, just blink twice if it’s a yes,” I say.

Instead she looks towards the back of the cabin. Something’s on her mind. I won’t push her for answers even if I want to.

Normally I would. I’d sass her or tease her, maybe even push her buttons to piss her off until she tells me. Not today. Not after everything.

Finally, she stares back me at me and blinks twice.

I nod and get us both water. I check for food when she finishes her first glass of water and start on making her eggs and bacon.

I’m sure we all need to eat, but after what I saw on the live stream, I know she hasn’t trusted food enough to eat much of anything.

As I cook, I keep bringing her water. She’ll have everything she wants and I’m going to prove I can give it to her. Right now, I’ll be gentle. Right now, I’ll cater to her however she’ll let me. I finish breakfast and feed Hope first.

“You have to eat. I know it might hurt, but you need your strength,” I say gently. “Can you try for me? The eggs should be easy.”

She takes a few bites, but I hear her stomach gurgle and take the rest of her plate when she pushes it towards me. I eat slowly while trying not to watch Hope too intensely. I want to categorize every injury she’s dealing with. The welts around her throat look bad. Really bad, actually.

We should be taking her to a hospital and making sure that her windpipe isn’t crushed and there’s no severe damage that could fuck her up for the long run. Based on her ‘good eye’ being bloodshot and red, I have a feeling it’s going to take her a long time to be able to speak without pain.

She closes her eyes before swallowing every time, like she’s preparing for pain. She moves the towel she’s holding to her face and looks away from me. I hate how she’s hiding from me. Hiding everything she’s feeling, flinching when I get too close. All of it.

But I don’t leave her side. I sit in front of her on the couch and hope she’ll find her way to me.

All she has to do is offer a little trust.

Give me the benefit of the doubt one more time.

Not that I’m going to ask for it. I’m not going to ask her a damn thing. Not about what happened in the hours before we got here. Not about how she’s feeling. Nothing that will require her to speak or explain.

I let Knox sleep beyond two hours. I should wake him up. I should go back outside to take over watching Coach. But Hope has started to move. She unfolded herself from the ball she’s stayed in. She rested her calf against me while putting her feet on the floor ten minutes ago.

Now she’s sitting next to me. I don’t want to scare her and it’s still a fifty-fifty chance that she’s going to pull away or lean into me if I move. When she shifts slightly, I brush my hand over hers. She jumps slightly, dropping the towel.

It opens up to reveal thawed peas that need to go back into the freezer to help her.

“You don’t have to hide from me, Hope,” I whisper. “I came here—we all came here to do more than drag you back. We wanted to protect you, to save you. That’s all we’re trying to do. I thought Jaxon was going to punch or kill his way to you.”

She pauses, then slowly touches my busted knuckles. When I meet her eyes, I see the question written on her face.

“My dad,” I answer. “I… made him second-guess ignoring his job.” It’s a simplified answer, but true enough. “I wish I could go back in time and do the same to my past self. He failed you. I failed you. It never should have gotten this far.”

She slowly leans her head on my shoulder.

It’s hesitant and she’s tense, but she’s trying.

I kiss the top of her head after deciding it’s worth the risk.

She gently rubs my wrist instead of my hand.

I don’t know if it means we’ll be okay. I don’t know if it means anything, but it makes me feel fucking good.

“What the fuck?!” Jaxon’s yell is sharp, Knox jumps up, and Hope cringes into me as she whimpers.

I rub her back, wrapping an arm around her. “It’s okay.”

Jaxon storms in a second later, panting, barely holding himself together. He looks back outside and grits his teeth. “If I’m out there another second, I’m going to kill him.”

“What happened?” Knox demands, sleep thickening his voice.

“That fucker is either in jail for life, or we’re burying him far away from his wife,” Jaxon answers.

Hope whimpers and hides her face in my neck. Knox and I share a look. I shrug. “What do you mean? Hope’s mom left.”

“Not by choice she didn’t,” Jaxon snarls.