Page 14

Twelve

HOPE

T hey saved me.

They saved me.

They saved me.

Three words with too much weight for me to bear. I wanted them to come, but deep down, I never thought it would happen. But they did. They came.

For me.

The realization is difficult. Complex.

I can’t let them go. I can’t even let Jaxon’s freaking shirt loose, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

I’m glued to him, afraid if I even let the cotton fabric slip, I’ll be back with my father.

It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid. I know this is real.

It’s different from the fantasies I’ve had about them. That doesn’t mean it’s good.

But safety, I need it. I can’t live without it anymore.

Even if it is with… them.

“What the…” Knox mutters and walks to the corner of the room.

“Camera,” I whisper, not sure they can even hear it. My throat aches, talking burns. Every breath is agony that I cling to. The fact it hurts means I’m alive.

Dimitri clears his throat. “We found a… website. He was recording his… also with your mom.”

I swallow and whimper from the soreness in my throat. “I know, he told me before he…” My gaze drifts to the table and I sigh. “I think he… he did something to her.”

The sound of a crash behind me makes me flinch and I turn in Jaxon’s hold, watching how Knox stomps down on the camera, shattering it to tiny bits. He rubs his boot down and scoffs. “It was still recording.”

“Sick fuck,” Jaxon breathes.

“What’s this?” Knox asks as he holds up a black cord that runs to the kitchen. Dimitri moves quickly, following it, and comes back with a laptop.

“It was a live feed,” he grits and tosses the laptop on the remnants of the dining table. Again, I wince from the impact and the deafening sound. I try to blink away the tension that curls up in my stomach.

“Did you see it?” I whisper and Dimitri meets my eyes. A storm brews in his own and he swallows thickly.

I already know the answer. “Someone called… him… he knew you were coming,” I add and Jaxon tightens his grip on me.

“Where’s his phone?” Knox asks and scans around.

Dimitri groans. “It was probably my dad, he was the only one who knew.” He shrugs and wrings his hands together.

I notice his hands then. The blood on his shirt.

I blink a few times and focus on it. It’s a better thing to think about.

Better than wondering what they saw. Better than thinking about what happened at this table, how naked I am, how…

no. Just Dimitri’s hands. How he’s going to be able to play with them like that.

“You got hurt,” I mumble as I stare at the cuts and bruises on his knuckles.

“Oh sweetheart, you should’ve seen him. It was beautiful,” Jaxon gushes while earning an eyeroll from Dimitri.

“Oh,” is all I manage to say as Knox strolls past Dimitri with a phone in his hands.

“Is this your dad’s number?” Knox asks as he holds my dad’s phone in front of Dimitri. Dimitri’s brows crease, his lips move as he reads the numbers, then he shakes his head.

“No, it’s not even the right area code.”

“Then who called him?” Jaxon asks, and my mind spins from it all, drowning their conversation.

“I want to get cleaned up,” I whisper and silence drops.

“Okay,” Knox says. “We brought some extra clothes—”

Jaxon shakes his head. “I brought some extra clothes.”

“Same thing,” Dimitri mutters with a sigh and Jaxon pushes himself off the dirty ground. I clinch to him, still afraid to let him go.

“How do you want to do this, sweetheart?” Jaxon smiles and tucks my hair behind my ears. “I’m more than happy to shower with—”

“No,” I say in panic. “I don’t want that. I need to…”

“We’ll stay outside the door,” Knox interjects. “He won’t get to you.”

“You promise?”

Jaxon gently rubs my back. He’s different, softer.

It’s confusing. He moves with me slowly, guiding every step.

My feet touch the floor, but I don’t have to put any weight down.

My eyes flick to Dimitri, looking for an answer, but he looks to Knox.

Knox isn’t soft. He isn’t gentle, he’s resolute. There’s nothing hesitant in his face.

“You’re safe now, Hope. Whether we’re with you or not in the bathroom,” Knox says evenly.

I just nod and let Jaxon half walk, half carry me to the bathroom.

He sets me down on the toilet and keeps lightly touching me.

He lifts my chin and his jaw tightens. I think I hear him bite down on a curse word, but he doesn’t ask if it hurts.

He doesn’t ask what happened. He doesn’t ask me a damn thing.

Since talking at all hurts, no matter how determined I am to do exactly that, I’m thankful.

He’s making it easy. Dimitri turns on the shower and looks back at me.

He asks if I want it warm and when I nod, he adjusts the water, checking it.

Knox lingers by the door, continually glancing back into the rest of the cabin.

Is my dad still around?

Is he going to storm in here and rip me away from them again?

Is he going to pick up where he left off in front of them just to prove he can?

“You’re freaking her out. Knock it off, Knox,” Jaxon orders before focusing back on me. “He’s not touching you again. I don’t care if he manages to get back in here. I won’t let him.”

“He has his lucky charm,” Dimitri teases.

My brow furrows, but Jaxon holds up his hand, showing me brass knuckles.

“You still have it,” I whisper.

“Why would I ever get rid of it?” he whispers back.

I don’t dare to sink back in a replay of the past. For now, I have to stay here, be aware of what happens and be safe.

“Come on,” Dimitri says and holds out his hand. “We won’t look.”

I almost scoff as the torn fabric lays on my bruised skin. Carefully, I take his bloody hand and let him lead me to the hot stream of water.

Jaxon stays close, too close, and then I realize I’m still holding onto his shirt.

“It’s okay,” Jaxon says.

The water is warm and slides across my body. Hesitantly, my hold on him fades and I focus on the comfort of the water as if it can wash all the horror away. All the hurt, all the tears.

I hear them shuffling out of the bathroom and I peel the tattered remains of my dress from my skin, tossing it to the side. The fake safety doesn’t linger. My father’s voice echoes in my mind.

He’d set up the camera, rip the curtain away, then—

“Stay!” I yell.

I regret it right away. My voice is weak and hoarse, my throat in agony, but worst of all, I’m trusting three guys who hurt me too. I shudder and wrap my arms around myself as if they’re going to do exactly what I’m worried about.

No sound greets me for a moment. Just silence and the constant pattering of the shower on the tub floor.

“How do you want to do this?” Dimitri finally asks.

“I need to get your clothes, Hope,” Jaxon calls. “I’ll be right back. Knox is here. He won’t close the door.”

I want to ask about my father. I want to know if he’s alive, but based on what Knox said about doing worse, he must be. I shudder despite the warm water, then reach down and make it hot enough to melt my skin, to burn away my father’s touch.

“You don’t want us in there, so Dimitri and I will stay right by the door,” Knox says.

I shake my head. I can’t wash myself. I can’t close my eyes. I can’t turn my back to the curtain. I need to see them.

“Hope?” Dimitri asks.

“C-closer,” I whisper.

I see Dimitri’s shadow, but that just makes it worse. I grab the curtain and cling to it as I open it. Knox looks at me, his gaze steady on my face. “Whatever you need, we’ll do. All you have to do is say it.”

“Um…” I don’t know what to ask for without sounding pathetic. I close my eyes. “I… I need to see you, but… turn around?”

Neither of them respond for a moment, then Knox turns around and Dimitri does the same. I open the curtain further and hear Knox tell Jaxon to bring the clothes but to stay facing the doorway and not the shower. I still can’t close my eyes.

I need to see them to know they’re still here. I need to hear them. I need to know I’m not alone, back in that room, still lost in something like a hallucination or fantasy.

Using my nails, I scrub my skin, applying more soap than necessary. I slide down to the tub to wash my hair and the rest of myself, then just sit there for a long moment.

“He’s alive, yeah?” Jaxon asks.

“Yeah,” Knox answers.

“Why?” Jaxon pushes.

“Shut up, Jax. Not the time,” Dimitri growls.

“It is the time. This is too much. You knew exactly what I was going to do when we started this. He hurt her. Again. And again. And again,” Jaxon snarls. “We’re fixing it and finishing it.”

“Later,” Knox says.

“What the fuck is up with you? I figured you’d rip him to shreds. Now you’re being—”

“Not. Now,” Knox snarls right back.

I turn off the water, but don’t get up. I hide myself behind the curtain and see Dimitri start to turn before catching himself.

Three large men. The three men I hated, hated to like, hated to care about are all waiting for me.

It’s warped and wrong. They make demands.

They take whatever opportunity they’re given.

I sniffle and shiver in my own nakedness. I’ve never felt so raw in my life. I didn’t think it was possible after everything. But breaking down and sobbing in front of these three… “I’m done.”

“Can I turn around to bring your clothes?” Jaxon asks.

I nod, realize they can’t see me and that nodding is almost more painful than speaking, and croak out a yes.

Jaxon glances back, then walks to me. He puts the clothes on the sink then turns back around.

Dimitri gives me some space so I can step out of the shower, towel off, and change into a shirt that’s not mine and sweats that I have to roll multiple times just so they come close to fitting.

“I thought you said you brought clothes for me.”

“I did,” Jaxon says.

“But these are yours,” I comment.

“Yeah, so?” he asks. “They’re clothes, they cover you, and I didn’t go through your drawers.”

I almost scoff, but I do like how covered I feel. This isn’t sexy. It’s not revealing. I’m clean, I’m warm, I smell Jaxon’s cologne on the shirt and it’s definitely better than what they could have brought or what I had here. I adjust the shirt and put my hand on Dimitri’s arm.

He softens under my touch.

“I’m dressed,” I finally announce.

Jaxon turns first. He wraps himself around me, ignoring how I stiffen, then rubs my back tenderly. I find my fingers winding into his shirt again. I tremor and try to silence my sniffles against the inside of his shoulder.

I won’t cry.

I won’t cry.

My tears would give my dad too much power. I won’t give him any more than he’s taken from me.