Page 20 of Pretty Fly for a Vampire Guy

Chapter

Seventeen

CLAY

T he two people who ambushed us are seriously invading our personal space, but my protective instincts dissolve the second I learn they’re Owen’s parents.

Owen’s mouth flies open and his fingers touch his parted lips. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, that’s a fine way to greet your mother,” his father says, and I can’t tell if he’s being stern or joking.

He’s the same height as Owen, although a little heavier, and wearing black slacks and a dark-blue plaid dress shirt.

His brown hair’s thinner than Owen’s, but they have the same eye shape and color, and their noses are identical.

If Owen grows up to look like him, he’ll be a very handsome man.

“We wanted to surprise you,” his mother says. She’s shorter than Owen and his father, and is wearing a bright pink long-sleeved blouse over a long blue skirt that reaches to her ankles. Her dark hair is pinned back in a complicated bun.

Judging by the dazed look on Owen’s face, mission accomplished on the surprise plan.

But the fact that he has his parents here is important. At least they care enough to visit and be a part of his world. I’d give anything for my parents to give a shit about what I’m doing. He’s lucky to have them in his life.

Owen’s eyes are still bulging at being caught unaware, but he’s starting to recover. “Well, hey, then. It’s good to see both of you.” And he gives them each a hug.

That simple gesture makes my chest ache for things I haven’t had in a long time. If only I had a family…

Then they all turn and face me.

I may be in my fourth decade of life, but I still suppress a wince when I learn someone’s parents are around.

It’s like I’m a teenager and a bad influence on their son.

Guess I still feel like I’ll be judged and found wanting.

I probably should’ve gone to therapy about that instinct a long time ago, but I thought that ghost had vanished.

Owen catches my eyes, trying to communicate something to me, but I’m not sure what. “This is Clay. He and I are…lab partners. In the anatomy class we just had.”

Lab partners.

“We finally get to meet a friend of Owen’s. You’ll have to join us for lunch,” his father says.

I freeze.

How do I play this? Is Owen out to his parents? Am I a friend or a boyfriend? Can I sit next to him and hold his hand, or should I pretend like all my feelings for him are platonic? Are we just lab partners, like Owen said?

Studying Owen’s face again, I can’t get a read on what he wants me to do, so I might as well stay quiet and bow out.

I start to shake my head, but his mother steps forward. “We insist that you come.”

“I’m really not hungry,” I say, glancing around. “If I get hungry later, I can just go to the cafeteria.”

“Don’t be silly, you’re a young college man. You must be sick of the monster-themed food here. We’re happy to treat you,” his mom says.

“It’s not a question of funds…” I start, then get a glimpse of Owen’s face. His lips are pinched, and he keeps running his hands through his hair. I open my eyes wide. What do I do?

He shrugs.

I smile. “Okay, then. I’m happy to join in. Thanks for the invite.”

I’m sure this meal will be no big deal.

We pile into their car and Owen’s dad drives us to downtown Creelin while my brain races to figure out how to act. My heart sinks as they pull up to a restaurant that caters to humans. No blood on the menu, that’s for sure. Maybe I can get like a really rare steak?

We file into the restaurant, and I take in the scent of curry and peppers. “So, young man, how are you handling being at… such a university?” his mother asks me.

Do they not realize I’m a vampire? I suppose if my fangs aren’t descended and you don’t look too hard at my coloring, I can pass for human.

Oh, shit. What do his parents think about monsters? Is that the problem?

Ugh. Even after decades of dealing with micro-aggressions and blatant anti-monster rhetoric, I still need a moment to figure out how to respond. I don’t want to pretend that what she’s doing is right, but I also don’t want to ruin things with Owen.

We’re shown to our seats, and I’m handed a menu where, yes, nothing on there is anything I’d be able to eat.

I pretend to sip my water. “Well, I’m on the water polo team, so that was much of my focus last semester.”

“I was meaning more, if you were having any issues with the… other students,” she says. Her face screams discomfort .

“Mom!” Owen whines.

“What? It’s normal for me to find out how other humans cope at a school such as yours.”

With how Owen’s hands are fidgeting, though, I know he’s not comfortable having me along.

Does he get really anxious? I’ve seen him on edge with classwork and the general stress of school.

But right now, he seems more nervous than I’ve observed him in the past. The last thing I want is for him to have a panic attack.

I don’t know how to answer her question without giving myself away, so I need to get out of here.

“No issues,” I say. I rise from my chair. “Excuse me. I’m just going to go wash my hands.”

Before anyone says anything else, I hurry to the restroom. Once inside, I stare at my reflection in the mirror.

What do I do? What the fuck do I do? I don’t want to do anything to hurt Owen’s relationship with his parents. Or to hurt him.

I splash water on my face and hands and dry them with a towel. Might as well return to the most awkward lunch in history.

But as I make my way back, my vampire super-hearing picks up their conversation. I’m not at the dining room yet, but it’s easy for me to hear Owen’s mom from behind the partition. “Beta, we cannot continue to fund a lifestyle so…irresponsible.”

“ Irresponsible? ” he hisses. It’s barely above a whisper. His heartbeat picks up, and he’s trying to quell his anxiety, I can hear it. “All I’ve ever done is be responsible. I’m working to become a doctor at your behest, for crying out loud.”

Owen’s only becoming a doctor because of them?

“At a monster university,” his mom replies.

My throat constricts, and I stare at the floor as I continue to eavesdrop.

“Son, you are not like them. Their bodies and lifestyles are different. Your father and I fear for your safety every moment of every day. What kind of future can you establish being surrounded by people who shift into wolves and tentacle creatures?”

“Mom—” Owen says.

“Your life experience will never be like theirs. Being at this school is, at best, ineffective. And at worst, it’s dangerous. Some of the students drink blood!”

“Mom, please,” Owen says.

“Don’t interrupt your mother,” his dad replies.

“Imagine if a vampire got particularly hungry one night and wanted to drink from your arteries. How could you defend yourself against that? Monsters can be friendly among themselves, but vampire-types only want to eat humans.” His mom’s voice is low, but also fierce.

“Mom,” Owen replies. My first instinct is to dash in there and defend Owen from his folks. I want to hold him and kiss the panic away.

But my second instinct makes more sense: Owen’s parents aren’t lying. At best, my life as a vampire is wildly different from Owen’s. And at worst, my hunger for blood makes me a liability to his health and wellness.

“ You’re dangerous .” My own parents’ words echo through my mind all these decades later.

I am going to hurt Owen. I’ve been kidding myself to think that this thing between him and me could work out long term. I’m a novelty, and a dangerous one at that. It’s better for him if I just stay away.

A devastating rock forms in my gut. I know what I have to do. Squaring my shoulders, I let my fangs descend and stride past the partition.

When I sit down, I lean back in my chair like I’m a haughty asshole. With a wicked grin on my lips, I throw an arm around Owen’s shoulders. “I don’t know why I bother looking in a mirror. I can’t see myself!” I cackle obnoxiously, and now I have the whole Bhat family’s attention.

“What?” Owen’s mom asks. She shares a horrified look with her husband.

“It comes with the territory of being a bloodsucker.” I snort, making sure she can see all my teeth. “You didn’t know I’m a vampire?”

It’s a long five seconds as the Bhat family stares at me in stunned silence.

“Uh…certainly not,” his father says, and Owen’s face crumples.

I know it may hurt, but this is good for him. This is what he needs.

I give them both my most lascivious grin.

“Your son and I are in Monster Anatomy together, and boy, let me tell you how hard it’s been to not suck on Owen’s veins this whole time.

” I dramatically gesture my hands like I’m biting into an invisible hot dog.

“There’s nothing like waking up and chugging on some plasma and hemoglobin from a human, any human at all.

That’s all we vampires want, and it’s not like anyone has garlic and pepper spray.

Ha! That wouldn’t even work on my kind. Holy water doesn’t do anything.

Nothing can stop me from munching on a nice, full artery! ”

Owen’s parents fidget and exchange fearful glances with each other. Mission accomplished.

Owen hasn’t spoken, wide eyes frozen behind his glasses. I hate doing this to him, but it’s for his own good.

I lean forward and pick up the menu. “So, Bhat fam, what are we ordering for appetizers? Hopefully some AB positive cocktails?”

This snaps them out of it. Mr. Bhat shakes his head while Mrs. Bhat says, “No. No, I won’t have this. I’m afraid we’ve made a mistake. We cannot have a monster spending time with our son.”

“Wait, what?” Owen mutters, shaking his head.

I stand up, giving them a little bow. “That’s quite all right. Just enjoy your meal and don’t think of me sinking my fangs into your son’s jugular. He might be safer going to a human-only med school.”

Then, I spin on my heel and stride slowly and with dignity, out of the restaurant. I take ten steps before I shatter, my shoulders sagging as I lean against a lamppost.

Before, I can take off at vampire super-speed back to campus, I hear footsteps behind me.

“Clay, wait!”

I stop on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, with my back to him. “What is it, Owen?” I say in a raspy tone.

“What were you doing back there? How could you just lie to my parents like that, acting like some…some uncontrollable bloodsucker?” I can hear how desperate and broken he is. “What’s gotten into you?”

Pinching my nose, I try not to inhale his sweet scent.

This is better for him. It’s more important that he be safe.

I turn around and face Owen, my legs planted wide. I make myself tower over him. “None of that was a lie.”

“What?” Owen’s voice is incredulous. He rubs his eyebrow and frowns.

“I’m a vampire.” I put a hand on my hip.

“Okay? I know, and?” he snaps.

Leaning in closer, I say, “I drink blood.”

Owen glares at me. “I know that too.”

Please understand . This is for your own good. “I want to drink your blood. That makes me dangerous to you.”

“What? But you’re not danger?—”

“Yes, I am,” I hiss. “You can’t tell what’s going on inside my head.

I’m no good for you. Just forget about me, Owen.

Take good care of Bat Nathanson and go on and live a happy life.

Heed your parents’ advice, attend a human medical school, and have the career you were always meant to have, far away from my kind. ”

Owen opens his mouth to say something, but I don’t want to hear his arguments. Nothing he could say could change my mind. This is the right thing to do. He needs to not throw his life away, which is what he’d be doing spending time with me.

With that, I run off in a blur.