Page 1 of Pretty Fly for a Vampire Guy

Chapter

One

CLAY

T onight is going to be fang-tastic!

I’m beaming as I wait in line with my water polo teammates outside of Zomb-Bar in downtown Creelin.

It’s a blustery Saturday night in January.

The queue overwhelmingly consists of students—both human and monster—and stretches around the block.

Everyone is laughing, chatting, and kicking at the sticky, gum-riddled sidewalk—me included.

I’m moving about in excitement, good-naturedly shoving my friends, who are also all smiles.

The bouncer unhooks the purple velvet rope to allow a group of revelers to pass, and the security troll opens the bar door. One step closer! Loud music spills out onto the street.

The noise startles some bats that were hanging out in a belfry of the gothic brick church across the way, and they rise in formation, flapping their wings erratically. As their dark forms pass across the light of the full moon, my ribs squeeze tight.

“Check them out,” I say to Brandon Fernandez, my best friend. “They’re so awesome!”

He squints. “They look slightly drunk.”

“That’s because they echolocate,” I say. I wish I could fly like them. I swallow hard, then paste on a wide grin. Tonight’s still gonna be a scream.

Our group of ten or so shuffles closer to the front, almost everyone bundled up to protect against the icy gusts. It’s as cold as my skin tonight, maybe colder. To me, it’s balmy, so I’m just in a thin jacket, T-shirt, and jeans.

Bran smiles broadly and waves his phone in his gloved hand toward all of us like we don’t all have our own devices. He appears comfy in his parka. “It only took fifteen minutes to get in! That’s super-fast.”

Ah, precious human . I bump his shoulder.

Brandon’s on the water polo team with me, and last summer, we bonded over complaining about two-a-day sessions.

He’s hot, all messy dark hair and tanned skin.

But oddly, despite how gorgeous Brandon is—and how all the monsters at Creepin U want to bang him—I’m not attracted to him, and I can’t explain why.

Maybe it’s as simple as: I normally go for bookish guys.

Or girls. Or nonbinary people, since I’m not picky about gender.

I do tend to favor humans, though, because OMG, have you smelled their blood? It’s delish.

Sorry, I digress.

Brandon throws an arm around his boyfriend, the n?kk, who snuggles into him. The n?kk has a real name, and after the events of our water polo game against Shuford, we all know it, but none of us use it because it can kill him. That’s a serious enough reason to just call him Steve.

Steve’s Norwegian and currently in his human form, which makes him look like an emo teenager circa 2004: green-black hair hanging in his fully black eyes, pale greenish skin, leather jacket, band T-shirt and skinny jeans with combat boots.

Steve spends plenty of time in his monster form these days, but he’s a shapeshifter, and sometimes, shapeshifters gotta shift their shape.

He doesn’t talk much, he just gazes at Bran adoringly.

He’s pretty sweet, though, even if n?kk tend to be melancholy.

“I can’t believe we’re actually waiting in line to get into Zomb-Bar,” Ren groans, yawning like he’s bored already. Of course, he probably is. “This is Pennsylvania, not NYC.”

“It’s still cool,” I say. Why am I older than these guys and still not jaded?

He shrugs. “Maybe.”

“We’re up!” Brandon chirps. Now that he’s twenty-one, he eagerly shows his ID to the bouncer, and the rest of my friends pass through. Then it’s my turn.

“May I see some identification?” The bouncer steps in front of me and crosses his arms over his beefy chest. Merfolk swim all up and down his arm in the form of colorful tattoos, so I’m guessing he’s a merman, but I haven’t seen him in the pool.

“Sure thing, hot stuff.” I give him a flirty wink as I reach back to fish my wallet out of the back pocket of my jeans.

Except I have no wallet.

Shit .

What did I do with it?

I pat my pockets—all of them, including the ones inside my jacket. I have my phone, but no wallet.

Dammit .

“Don’t tell me you left your wallet in your dorm room,” Bran says from just beyond the purple rope, rolling his eyes.

I’d take offense at his assumption except, okay, yeah. This is pretty much on brand for me.

I smile at the bouncer, flashing my fangs. “Why does this shit always happen to me? Oh my monster god, can you believe it? I seem to have left my ID in my dorm room.” I give him a conspiratorial shoulder nudge. “Trust me, I’m old enough.” I start to move past him .

“You’re Creelin U?” he asks, impersonating a brick wall, arms still crossed.

“I’m enrolled as a student, yep.”

He shakes his head. “No identification, no entrance.” He looks over my shoulder. “ Next .”

I press my lips together. This is not happening.

I hate my real age, and I never like pulling out my ID, even when I have it on me. I prefer to use my inverse fake ID more often than not. It shows my age from before the Halloween Wave.

But…I want to hang with my friends. I pout. Pushing my hands together like I’m praying, I get up close to him. “Dude, I’m legal. I swear.”

The entire water polo team nods from behind the rope.

“He’s sensitive about his age,” Brandon says.

“He’s practically geriatric,” Ren adds.

“That’s not helpful,” I sniff.

Bran taps on the enormous bouncer’s shoulder, which is a bold move for anyone but Bran. “He really is older than he looks.”

The bouncer points to a sign behind him that says, If you look under thirty be prepared to show valid identification, all species, no exceptions, and gestures to the couple behind me to come forward.

“Dude, seriously? I hate telling people my real age, but I’ll do it if I need to. I’m forty years old,” I blurt.

“Uh-huh. Then you should be able to show me identification. Next.”

Brandon calls to me, “Cannon, dude, just go back to the dorms and get your ID. Want us to come with you?”

I shake my head. “I can do it. I’ll be quick.”

“Because you’re a vampire and can fly, right?” Ren says.

“Something like that,” I mutter. “I’ll go get it. Don’t wait for me, it won’t take long. Go on in.” I make a shooing motion at Brandon and the n?kk. Ren heads on in, following the rest of our group.

“If you’re sure,” Bran says, sounding uncertain. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and huddles further into his coat.

“It’s fine.” I force a smile. “Go get warm. I’ll be just a moment.”

With one last look at me, Brandon steps inside with Steve.

I turn away from the bar and walk past downtown, headed to the forest that’s between Creelin and the university. The Lin and Cree Rivers meet here, and on a warm summer day, it’s downright pleasant.

Tonight it’s as black as a bat cave. Good thing I have superior sight and hearing.

I use my vampire speed to race to Karloff Hall in a third of the time it would take a human to walk, and take the stairs up to my room.

Except, I forgot my key. Again. I try the handle, then pound on the door.

“Please, Yuki,” I grumble. “Please be there.”

No response. I can’t sense any movement inside. It sounds like there’s a large party going on down the hall, but getting my key is probably more important. Probably.

I sigh. I need to find our resident advisor. I return downstairs, headed to the RA’s room on the first floor. To get there, I have to go through the common room, and to do that, I’m now realizing I have to pass by the most annoying people in the world: the Vampire Gliding Enthusiasts.

Shit .

I freeze, but it’s too late. They’ve spotted me. “Well, hello, Clay Cannon,” Raymond says, beckoning me closer. Ray’s a senior with short black hair, smooth dark skin with bluish undertones, and vibrant purple eyes. His fangs are particularly pronounced tonight.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” I shove my hands in my pockets.

“We were just discussing membership,” Shannon says.

Her hair’s dyed red, but I’m not sure what color it really is. She also has dark skin, but it’s not as blue as mine or Raymond’s. Maybe she just ate. Or maybe she’s wearing makeup.

I glance up, and they’re looking at me expectantly. Guess I got distracted by whether Shannon’s wearing makeup or not. “Sorry?”

“We want all of the vampires on campus involved in our club so we can have some proper fun.”

“Fun,” I repeat, doing my best to sound enthusiastic. “I’m all for fun.”

“You’ll have to join us on our big field trip in a month. We’re going gliding in the Poconos!”

“Sounds terrific.” I back my way out of the room. “Sorry, but I need to talk to the RA. I’m locked out of my room.”

“Very well. We’ll see you at our next meeting in a week, Clay! Don’t miss it!” Shannon chirps.

“Sure thing.” I flee down the hall and pound on the RA’s door. He helps me get into my room, where my keys and wallet are right where I left them. I grab them and shove them in my jeans so I can head back to Zomb-Bar.

Am I the most forgetful vampire who ever lived? Likely so.

But the worst thing about me?

I can’t fly.