Page 50 of Pregnant By the Playboy

“I don’t understand.”

Mom hisses something to Po Po in Toisanese before turning to me. “We’ll be thrilled to have another grandbaby, of course. I hope that, even though you aren’t together, you will be an important part of the child’s life and bring them to see us regularly.”

“Of course.”

“When I asked if you wanted to be a dad the other week,” Cedric says, “did you already know?”

“Yeah. Marissa just didn’t want me to tell anyone until she was out of the first trimester.”

“This is not right,” Po Po says. “I will go to your place and play Chinese opera music until you marry her.”

“Look.” I don’t want to mention that Marissa turned me down and I’d still very much like to change her mind. “It’s the twenty-first century and sometimes things happen differently now, but don’t worry, the child will be well cared for.”

Po Po clucks her tongue. “The parents should be together. I understand, sometimes you marry and it doesn’t work out, so you divorce. But you should at least try to be married. I’m sure Marissa would appreciate it.”

I shake my head. “It’s not what she wants.”

“I hope you will at least stop going to parties and playing videogames all the time. You must set a good example for your child.”

“I will, don’t worry.” I pause. “Do you think I’ll be a bad father?”

“Of course not,” Mom says. “I will admit that, as your mother, some of the choices you make are not exactly what I want for you, but whenever you really want something, you succeed.”

Julian doesn’t say anything, but he nods once, and I smile. As much as I like bugging the shit out of him, his opinion does mean a lot to me.

“Tell us about Marissa,” Courtney says.

“She’s an engineer. Her family’s from Hong Kong.” I don’t know how to describe Marissa. “She’s a little bit bossy. In a good way.”

Po Po cackles with glee.

“I want to meet her before the baby comes,” Mom says. “Even if you’re not together, she will be part of our family. You should bring her over sometime.”

“Yes,” Dad says. “Please do.”

“We could throw her a baby shower?” Courtney suggests.

“She might have other people to do it, but I’ll let her know you’re willing.”

“I guess this is exciting,” Po Po says, “even if you are not getting married, like I want.”

“When do I ever do what you tell me?”

“This is a good point. You are not very obedient. I bet your child will be the same. Will give you so much trouble!” My grandma seems delighted by this possibility.

“Yes,” Dad says, eyes twinkling. “I hope he or she empties two whole bottles of shampoo on the living room carpet.”

“And brings the hose and sprinkler inside the house to water the houseplants,” Mom adds. “The couch got soaked.”

“What about the poop explosion at his first birthday party?”

“Or the time he threw up on Julian at the grocery store?”

“I remember that,” Julian says. “I also remember when he ate my entire birthday cake.”

“That’s right!” Mom says. “You wanted a fancy chocolate cake, so we got you one from the bakery. But we made the mistake of leaving it on the counter, and Vince climbed on a chair, sat on the cake, and ate it. He was so sick that night.”

“Then there was General Bloopy the Bloopisauraus.” Dad turns to Courtney. Everyone else already knows about General Bloopy. “A stuffed purple dinosaur he carried everywhere for two years.”